A Walk into the Unknown Ch. 03

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It was hard to watch Rach and Mom like that. The only two people I love in this world crying their eyes out. I know it was tears of joy, but it's just hard to watch the women you love cry. But I am happy for it. Oh my God, am I happy for it. It finally feels like we might be able to live as a family again. It feels like the tension is now gone, like a valve of pressure has been released. The last couple of days have been great. I'm now used to my job in the pantry. (There wasn't much to learn anyway.) Kat has turned into a great friend. She asks about my relationship with Rach a lot. I can tell she doesn't judge us but she also doesn't understand.

"I have an older brother," she told me one day. "I can't imagine ever sleeping with him."

"Does he feel the same way?" I joke.

"Gross!" She says with a laugh and throws a grape at me. "Ew."

"To be honest with you, I never thought about Rach like that growing up. I mean I knew she was pretty. I always thought she was, but it wasn't in a sexual way, you know?"

She nods. "So what changed?"

I think about that for a moment. "I don't know. One day I just realized I loved her. Not just as a sister but as..." I trail off for a moment, trying to find the word.

"A soul mate?"

"Yeah, I guess. Kind of like that."

We continue to work until I break the silence.

"Does your brother live here?"

She shakes her head. I don't think she's going to elaborate but then she continues.

"He doesn't like it that I live here."

I nod, unsure of what to say.

"He thinks it's just a sex thing. Like George has brainwashed me or something," she continues.

"Has he ever been here?"

She shakes her head. "No. God! He thinks we're like Waco or something!" She laughs at that but in a very sad way.

"Well, I guess it's hard to understand from the outside. It took Rach a couple days to come around and she was living here."

Kat nods to that.

"I just wish I had what you and her have," she says but then looks up. "Not like, the sex thing but...I just wish we were close like you two are."

That was yesterday and its stuck with me since. Rach and I are very close. We share everything together, so now I feel a little torn about what's been going on. I get to Mom's place and knock on the door. We've been sleeping with each other around midday, while Rach is at work. It feels like cheating but it can't be since it's with my mother, right? I don't know if it's the truth or if I'm trying to convince myself.

The door opens and Mom smiles from ear to ear, pulling me in.

"Hello handsome," she says all bubbly. "How was work?"

I shrug. "Same old."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lie. I'm not sure what to say without sounding...I don't know. Childish?

She eyes me skeptically. "Come on, let's hear it. You can tell me."

I give her a look and I think she can tell what it is. There's no way she hasn't been thinking it either.

She takes my hand and sits me down on the couch. "Is it about your sister?"

I nod. She starts to caress my cheek.

"I understand Roger. I know this must be tough." She gives me a kiss on the forehead and her hand rests on my thigh. "Maybe it's time we tell her."

I look up. I wasn't expecting that at all.

"You don't want to?" She asks me.

"No, I do, it's just..."

"You're afraid she'll get angry."

"Everything's been going so well the last couple of days."

"I know honey."

I feel her hand move to my cock. She starts to rub the head and it starts to grow in her hand. She looks up at me while her hand works me.

"I think we should tell her tonight, during the bonfire," she says.

It's hard to think now that she's slowly stroking my cock. I nod.

"Let me tell her," she says. "I think I know what to say."

I'm now fully hard and her hand strokes up and down. I think I would agree to anything she says at this point. I exhale in pleasure. When I do, her hand picks up its pace. She leans in and whispers in my ear.

"I wouldn't mind tasting her like I've tasted you."

She leans down and I feel her lips wrap around my cock. The warmth of her mouth makes me groan out. I love the way she sucks my cock. She takes me all the way down and I can feel my balls push up against her face and she stays there. I can feel her tongue move around the bottom of my cock while her mouth is filled. Finally she comes up and gasps a deep breath of air in, a string of saliva following her as she does.

"Oh my God," I pant.

Her hand is on my cock again, stroking me while it's soaked in her saliva. My eyes are closed until I feel her hand on the back of my head. I open them and find her leaning back on the couch pulling me on top of her. She inches up so that her pussy is closer to my face, her hands pushing the top of my head down. Her legs wrap around my body and I know what she wants. I inch down some more until her wet opening is right in front of my face, the smell of her juices filling my nostrils. Her scent drives me crazy. I dive in sharply and stick my tongue into her opening.

"Ahhhh!!!" She calls out, startled from my attack.

I quickly move my tongue up to find her clit and when I do, I feel her stomach muscles contract.

"Oh yes baby," she breaths out.

My tongue flicks up and down against the round little nub inside her. Her hands pull her legs wide but I can feel them pushing against her arms. They want to clamp my head into her juicy hole but her arms are prying them open so my tongue can reach it more easily. It's as if I'm in a bear trap and the only way to keep it open is to pleasure her clit.

Her back arches up and her moans begin to grow. My mom is much more aggressive with her pleasure than Rach is.

"Fuck!" She calls out. "Oh fuck."

Now I keep my tongue still and move my head up and down, pushing her body back and forth with my arms so her body bounces back and forth across my tongue, rubbing her clit up and down. She lets go of one of her legs so she can grab a handful of the back of my head and I feel her push me in deeper.

"Yes Roger! Yes!"

I gasp in deep breaths of air since it's hard to come up now, her potent scent filling my whole body as I do. She's close, I can feel it. She lets go of her other leg and now grabs both sides of my head, furiously pushing her body against me. I stay in place with my tongue out as she uses my head for her pleasure. Her pace picks up as her pelvis thrusts against my head and I feel her muscles tighten, the trap springing closed as her legs clamp around my head. She lets out a high pitched moan and I can feel her grip on the back of my head soften.

"Oh Roger," she pants. "I can tell why Rachel loves you so much."

She guides my head up towards her, so I follow her instruction and move up, using the couch to prop myself up on top of her. She pulls me down and our lips touch, the sound of our love echoing in my ear.

Is it love? It's not the same as it is with Rach.

"You're thinking of her, aren't you?" She asks me.

Startled, I shake my head. This only makes her laugh.

"It's okay. I understand."

I can see a flash of something in her eyes, though I don't know what it is. Her forwardness has frozen me in place, so she reaches down and grabs hold of my cock again, rubbing it against her lips. The feeling of her grip on me makes me shiver in pleasure and I instinctively push forward into her.

"Yes," she hisses. "Fuck me baby."

I oblige and thrust all the way into her. She arches her back, as if trying to get every bit of me as deep into her as possible. My hands fall to her shoulders, pushing her deeper into the couch and I lose control. My hips thrust up and down with a fury and I can hear the squish of her juices flying out each time my cock rises out of her. She looks back at me with an intensity that drives me faster. Her hands clamp round my arms, her hair now obstructing part of her face. We swim together like this for what feels like forever, our sweat mixing together and our bodies sliding back and forth against each other. Our breathing gets louder and suddenly I regain myself.

Don't cum inside her.

The thought sounds familiar to the one I had with another family member all that time ago. I suddenly get a flash of Rach and I in the woods by the reservoir, her bent over in front me while she grabbed a tree. I open my eyes and see my mom below me covered in sweat.

"Oh my God," I breath out.

"Yes," she responds. "Do it."

I'm not sure what she means, but I know I'm about to explode. I pull out of her just in time but I thrust forward, the bottom of my cock rubbing against her. A thick stream of cum flies out of me and lands on her forehead, stretching down to her nose. She lifts her head up as another stream shoots out of me, some of it going into her mouth, the rest falling short onto her chin. Her eyes are wild with delight and I shoot one more load of cum that lands on her chest. I realize I'm now straddled on top of her, my hand clutching the top of the couch. I've pinned her down without realizing it and shot my pleasure all over her.

"I'm sorry," I say, though I don't know why.

She smiles and licks her bottom lip, taking in some of the stray cum on her face.

"Don't say sorry. It's exactly what I wanted."

We look at each other a moment. I'm not sure what she's thinking and that's when I realize just how much of a mystery my mom really is. I'm not sure why she's doing this.

"Thinking about her again?" She asks me.

I shake my head. "No, I'm thinking of you."

I get off of her so she can sit up. She still has cum on her face and I look around to see if there's something she can use to wipe herself.

"I have a towel in the other room. I can get it. I just want to look at you right now."

She puts her hand on my thigh and caresses it with her thumb.

"Mom-" I say, but she cuts me off.

"I'll talk to her. It's okay."

How does she know what I'm thinking? I guess it's obvious.

"Why don't you go wash up," she says.

I nod, not sure what else to say. I walk to the door and turn back to see her. She's still sitting on the couch, smiling, sunlight from an open window glistening the cum on her face and chest. I want to say something but I don't know what. Instead, I turn and go, closing the door behind me.

The warm midday sun hits my body and I look up into the trees for nothing in particular. One of the guys who tends the garden passes me by, nodding and smiling as he does. Will, I think his name is? I could be wrong. I take a deep breath in but am greeted by the lingering smell of my mother's pussy. It's still on my face from going down on her. I need to shower before Rach gets back. There's no way she won't notice.

God, this does feel like cheating.

There's a part of me that's glad mom wants to tell Rach. I know it should be me but I'm afraid. I can't lose her. Suddenly the idea of it sends a shiver through my body. My legs make a decision of their own and start walking me towards the showers. I pass by the work shed and see George chopping wood.

"Roger. Afternoon," he says.

"Good afternoon, George."

I'm about to keep walking when he stops me.

"How are you settling in?" He asks.

"Good. Good. I like it here."

"That's great."

I get a strange feeling that he's evaluating me in some way.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah. Of course." He stops for a moment and then asks, "how's your mother this morning?"

I hope my feeling of surprise doesn't how on my face.

"She's good," I say. "Good."

He nods. "Good." He pauses again, just staring at me. "You're taking care of her."

I can't tell if it's a question or a statement. I have no idea what's going on here. All I know is I want to leave.

"Yeah, I am," I say.

"Don't get too carried away. We're all family here, and you know how family is."

I try to figure out what he means and realize I'm just staring at him blankly now.

"Okay," I say with a nervous laugh. "Thanks."

He nods, indicating I can leave. I didn't even know I was waiting for his permission until he gave it. I quickly turn and go, not wanting to allow any bit of the conversation to continue.

Don't get too carried away?

What does he mean?

What else could he mean?

Does he know I'm sleeping with my mom? How would he know?

How would he not know?

The walls of everyone's shack are paper thin. Now that I think about it, I'm sure people could hear us this morning if you were anywhere near the shack. But what does he mean by getting "carried away"? Maybe he doesn't approve of me and my mom? But then if he doesn't approve of that, does he not approve of me and Rach? It never even occurred to me that the people here would think poorly of our relationship. I guess I just assumed people living in a nudist camp were open to it.

Sorry. A "naturist" camp.

I've made that mistake one too many times already and been swiftly corrected. No one here likes the term "nudist". I guess I can understand that. I don't like using the "i" word in regards to me and Rach. I've even started thinking of it as "the 'i' word". Something about the word still seems wrong, which is weird since I obviously don't think it's meaning is. It's like the act itself is okay but the word is still bad. At one point I tried to think of a different word to refer to me and Rach until I settled on the most obvious one.

Love.

So what word would I use to describe me and my mom now? Certainly not that one. I mean I love my mom, but not like I love Rach. I don't want to use the "i" word.

Cheating.

It pops in my head and I immediately try to shake it away. No, not that. It can't be that. If I slept with Kat, for example, that would be cheating. It can't be cheating if it's with your mom. Right?

I stop and reflect on how fucked up everything is.

"Everything" isn't fucked up. Just one thing is fucked up.

I guess I'll find out at the bonfire tonight.

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What a great day! First off, we had customers! Quite a steady stream of them actually. Finally, work didn't drag. I don't know how helpful I was though. The people who come in here seem to know much more about books than I do. They kept asking for things I've never heard of. Julia didn't seem to mind though.

"These people are like my daughter," she said to me earlier today. "She likes bands because no one's ever heard of them. And they have the dumbest names too."

I love Julia. She's really funny and she doesn't take any shit. Earlier one person was "flabbergasted" (as he put it) that we didn't have a certain book. Julia put him right in his place.

"This isn't the Library of Congress. We have what we have."

That Library of Congress joke made me laugh. I probably shouldn't have because the man was standing right there. Julia just smiled back at me, so I think it was okay. Don't get me wrong, most of the customers are really nice. I guess you just remember the rude ones more.

The ride back home was fine. This new Mom-and-Rach-getting-along thing is still working. She's very touchy-feely. I guess that comes with the territory of living as a Naturist. I am going to have to get used to these rides though. Though she said she was going to teach me how to drive, I realize it's going to take me a while to get a driver's license. I don't have any paperwork; no birth certificate, no social security card, never had a passport. The only thing I have is my state ID from New Jersey. Everything is back home with my dad, and I'm certainly not going to contact him again. So I have to find a way to get all that paperwork back. Rog too.

When we get back to the farm, I head home and lay down on the bed. My feet hurt after being on them all day. It's so quiet out here, it's nice. When we decided to move to Los Angeles, I was a little reluctant to be around the sounds of a city. I always liked being surrounded by nature growing up. I guess that's why I was willing to open up to this place. I have to say, walking around naked takes less getting used to than I thought. Originally, I figured I'd be covering myself up constantly. I still do, but not nearly as much as I thought. Sometimes I actually forget I'm naked. That is until a breeze rolls through. My nipples are very sensitive, so they're basically hard all the time whenever I'm outside. I have seen a couple men walking around with erect penises. It's weird. Normally I would call it a "boner", but there's something about this place that makes it sound like such a stupid term. I'm surprised at how nonchalant they are when walking around hard. No one seems to pay any mind to it and neither do they. Maybe once in a while you might hear a casual joke. I heard one guy say to another one "Good morning, I see," nodding to his cock. The guy wasn't embarrassed at all. He laughed and said "so far."

That's when I realized something about myself that completely surprised me. I've always been embarrassed of my body. Not consciously, but I always thought it was something bad. Something that needed to be hidden. If someone saw me naked, it was my fault for making them see that. It was so ingrained in me I never even realized I was thinking it. I can tell I'm already starting to feel more comfortable with myself, more comfortable with my body.

I stand up and start to undress. When I'm done, I walk over to the mirror and take a look. I always thought I had small breasts. It wasn't until I got here that I realized they're just as big as anyone else's. You think you have a sense of someone's breasts just by looking at them with clothing on. It turns out you don't really know someone until you've seen them naked. I also never noticed the curves of my body. Back in New Jersey, I always dressed very conservatively. Jeans and t-shirts were the norm, mainly because they were cheap. I could never afford nice clothes, and that worked because I never had a desire to wear them. But now that I've actually been looking at myself, I can see I have a figure! How have I gone my whole life and never taken a good look at my body? It's amazing the things you don't realize until you've realized them.

There's a knock at the door.

I walk into the living room and answer it. Kat is standing in the doorway.

"Oh hey Rachel!"

I can tell she wasn't expecting me. She looks me up and down and raises her eyebrows.

"It's not polite to stare, so I've been told," I tease her.

She laughs. "I'm sorry. It's just..." She shakes her head. "Is Rog here?"

I shake my head. "No. Haven't seen him yet. Why?"

"He didn't show up to the pantry this morning. Haven't seen him yet today."

"That's weird. My mom said she was with him earlier."

"Oh. Well if you see him, tell him I'm looking for him."

I nod. "Will do."

She looks me over one more time, this time not trying to hide it.

"I'm glad you've come around," she says and smiles at me for a second longer than expected. She turns and walks away, but she does look back over her shoulder and smile at me one more time.

Weird.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be asked to drink the Kool-Aid. Other times I scold myself for even thinking there is Kool-Aid. Whatever. The people are nice and they don't expect anything of me.

I walk to Mom's shack and knock on the door but no one answers. She must be out tending to the gardens or something. There's not that much time left before dinner, so I decide to go for a walk. I haven't explored this farm on my own yet. I've always been with somebody on some kind of tour. They really love to show you around. I have a feeling it's because I was so resistant at first and now I'm coming around. I think they like the fact that they've "converted" me. I wouldn't go that far, but I guess I'm not walking around like I want to hit someone now. That is an accomplishment I guess I shouldn't take away from them.