Adventure of Rekka Ch. 08

With a distressed snarl Rekka leapt in like a cannonball and paddled over to Bill before wrapping herself around him and dragging him to shallower water. Her familiar warmth was welcome and his frozen limbs crawled all over her body happily.

"Fuck! It's so cold, how're you standin' this?" Rekka yelped, shivering, her eyes finally losing their ardor.

"We're freezing our bodies, maybe in a thousand years science will find a cure for High Orc induced lust," Bill mumbled, his head on Rekka's shoulder, clinging to her and making full use of her body heat.

There was a small splash as Tabitha prowled into the water towards Larry, only her eyes and ears above water as she hunted her prey. She closed on him and went still, not sure if she should pounce or give her husband a break. Coming to a decision, she ducked under water for a long moment before exploding to the surface carrying Larry in her arms. Water spraying everywhere and streaming from her body. Standing, the stream barely came up to her thighs as she smiled down at Larry while heading back to the campfire, finally in control of her urges.

"Okay, husband. I'm good fer now, let's go back to the fire. Promise I won't make ya scream for at least a few hours, an' I'll go easy when I do," Rekka said, rubbing her paws on his back, trying to warm him up.

"Good enough, I'll want to know if my dick is still there anyway, I think you might have ripped it off this morning," Bill grumped.

"Nuh-uh, it's still there, I made sure. You think I'd let you get off that easy?" Rekka quipped, picking Bill up in her arms like Tabitha had for Larry.

Bill laughed, enjoying the experience. He figured it must have looked pretty ridiculous seeing his fun sized Rekka easily carrying his king sized self around like a bride. Based on Larry's laughter and Helena's hand covering her mouth as she giggled they must have been a sight.

Felix had his face turned the other way holding onto Helena's hand like a lifeline. Rekka and Tabitha had been nude for days and his puritan upbringing had not prepared him for this sort of debauchery.

"My hero, thank you for saving me from that dastardly river," Bill said breathily, kicking his feet in his best damsel in distress impression.

"I ain't no hero! You should'a taken yer chances with the water, sugar!" Rekka chuckled out, waggling her eyebrows at him.

"You brute! Put me down this instant!" Bill cried, kicking his legs faster.

"Nope! Yer caught! Now hold still an' lemme warm you up," Rekka said, sitting down easily while carrying him. Bill leaned back in her arms, enjoying the new experience to no end.

"I'm gonna want you to carry me like this more often, you know. It's great," Bill said, grinning at her.

"You'da got a lot of this if you wasn't so stupid strong, y'know," she replied, scooching towards the fire to dry them off.

"I can see that. Well, I'm not complaining, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to appreciate a strong woman," Bill said, holding one hand towards the fire, his other warm enough on Rekka's radiator back. He'd have held onto her breasts instead but he was trying to avoid revving her engine for now.

"Goddamn, you two really are a pair," Larry said from his own wifely perch. "Makes you feel for all those poor suckers back home that probably have their soulmates wandering around out here."

"Yeah. I've been thinking about that," Bill said, now lying on Rekka's lap like she usually did to him. She was smiling down at him brushing back his damp hair. "It's a crying shame. I say we fix it eventually."

"Part of your master "plan" there, fearless leader mascot?" Larry asked, half serious as he somehow managed to recline with his head on his hand in Tabby's embrace.

He and Bill were barely aware that they were all naked, though Helena and Felix were trying to look in every direction but the quartet of developing nudists in their midst. Helena was faring better than Felix. She wasn't comfortable but she'd been exposed, for want of a better word, to lustier mamono mating habits in her travels. Felix's world was being expanded every day he spent with these lunatics.

"Farther down the road, yeah. Shit, I don't even have a clue how we'll do it, if it's possible, or if there's any way we'll keep it from being a complete disaster.. But damn, I want others to know how great this is," Bill said, sharing a smile with Rekka. He then gave Larry a meaningful look.

"Imagine if some other idiots had gotten mixed up in this world and decided they were just going to selfishly keep it to themselves. Their names would go down as the worst criminals in the history of the multiverse. I'm planning to at least give it a try," Bill explained.

"Yeah, well, I guess I know what you mean. Personally I don't mind being an interdimensional scumbag, there's a lot of people back home that I wouldn't want screwing up this place. Hell, I'm one of them, just look at what I've started," Larry replied, shrugging off his complete disregard for the prime directive.

"I'm right there with you. We'll need some sort of way to sort the decent hard working salt of the earth from the morally bankrupt ivory tower intellectuals such as yourself. I haven't sorted out how, so you start using that fancy college-boy brain of yours on the problem," Bill demanded, snuggling into his wife. He'd done a better job at not interfering with the locals until they'd interfered right back. If he'd been left alone he'd have gone Grizzly Adams quite happily all alone with Rekka, no clue and no care about the world around them.

"Here I was hoping to raise the average IQ of these.." Larry paused a moment, considering Helena and deciding he liked her too much to insult her boyfriend even by proxy, restraining his usual reflex of being an asshole and continuing, "..salt of the earth types. But I guess a bunch of dumb hicks would do the least amount of damage, and you seem to have had an easier time going native than me."

Bill turned on his side to lean into Rekka for a moment to let her scratch the back of his head more easily, enjoying being on the receiving end of head scratches for a change.

"Holy shit, what kind of tattoo is that?" Larry blurted, seeing it for the first time.

"Fuck!" Bill snapped, lying flat to cover his shame. "It was a mistake, alright? It's not who I am, and it never was. Don't give me shit about it." He looked at Helena then, an idea coming to him.

"Hey. I could cut it off and have Helena heal me," he said happily, looking for a knife.

"What? It's fucking awesome, let me get a better look," Larry said, interested in how Bill had managed to get a holographic tattoo between his shoulderblades.

"What? It's awful. It's not even straight! I swear that "artist" was fucking drunker than I was," Bill replied, but slowly complied rolling back into Rekka and waiting for Larry to tear into him.

"I like it too! It's real pretty, the way it moves is neat," Rekka said, pawing at his back.

"How the fuck is it moving like that. They do holographic tattoos? Shit, if I'd have known you could get one of those I'd have one myself. A tiger roaring would be pretty bitchin," Larry said, still looking in awe at Bill's back.

"Hologram? Fuck are you on about? It's a shitty barcode, right?" Bill asked, confused.

"What? That's fucking lame. No man, it's like.. A triangle? No.. It's a star? Fuck, I don't know, my eyes are watering looking at it now. It's like one of those magic eye posters. I think I see a sailboat," Larry said, his eyes crossed.

"Goddamn. No barcode though, right?" Bill asked, much more concerned about that.

"Fuck no, and I wouldn't peg you for emo. Did you paint your nails black and smoke cloves?" Larry said, not putting much effort in his barb as his vision began to blur, the patterns never seemed to repeat and he was starting to feel a little queasy.

"Fuck you man! Goddamn, I don't care what it is as long as it's covering that fucking thing," Bill said, immensely relieved with the turn of events. He whipped his head over at Felix, who was pointedly looking away from him and his splayed legs.

"Felix! Do me a favor buddy, dig into my purse over there and bring me the small black rectangle thing. Don't drop it, please, it's fragile," Bill requested.

"Your purse?" Larry scoffed.

"Yeah, my purse. Don't be jealous, you don't know anything about fashion. That hat was the shit," Bill replied distractedly, not able to fully commit himself to the banter as he watched Felix carefully pick his way over to the pile of clothing while looking straight up.

"Is this it, Bill?" Felix asked, still looking away as he held up Bill's phone.

"That's it, bring that over to Larry, please. I need him to work it and show me this thing," Bill replied, much nicer to the young man that had staunchly cared for them alongside Helena in their time of need, even while they cavorted shamelessly all the while.

"What the fuck, are you kidding? Tell me I'm wrong and that's a mirror or something," Larry said.

"Nope, First Class Merlii are the only way to fly. Can't call anyone, but it makes for a slick camera. Take a video of my back, I wanna see it moving too," Bill requested, craning his neck over as Felix carefully placed the phone in an absolutely incredulous Larry's hands. "Oh, and don't look at the other videos would ya? Me'n Rekka been making some memories there," Bill said, almost leering at Rekka before remembering the consequences of rousing her lust.

"Christ, you get all the luck. I'm switching to your Merlin as soon as we run into him. Mine's a fucking prick," Larry said, quickly working the phone to bring up the camera app and switch to video. He tried not to look at the small windows in the gallery where Bill and Rekka were having what looked like a hell of a good time.

"I'll put in a good word for ya, maybe get a group rate. Can you see it alright like this?" Bill asked, not wanting to get up and leave the warmth Rekka provided despite the fire being so near.

"Yeah yeah, hold on a sec. Ok, here we go. Move around a bit, it seems to speed up when you do that," Larry said, aiming the camera at Bill and zooming in. To his credit he had the phone in horizontal mode, raising BIll's esteem of him immensely.

"Hey, is this thing charging? What the hell? Why hasn't this melted or exploded or anything?"

"Dunno, I just assumed, y'know.. Magic. Ain't gotta explain shit, right?"

"You are the most uninquisitive fucker I have ever met. We need to experiment with this. Will it still work if I chuck it into water? Is it just being charged, or is magical bullshit replacing the internals and processor?" Larry asked, wanting to open it up and start breaking things.

"Fuck that, I'm just happy it works. I've been taking photos of all the cool shit we've seen, I don't want to lose those," Bill complained, trying to get Felix's attention by waving.

"Felix my man, could you uh, bring it to me now?" Bill asked again, knowing he was being lazy but not one for self-improvement.

"Aye.. One moment, Miss Tabitha is very tall, It's a bit.. complicated to protect her virtue," Felix explained, not looking happy as he blindly struggled to his feet.

"Oh really, you two!" Helena chided Bill and Larry, tiring of their nonsense. "You are behaving like children. Let me, Felix. Do not worry, we will go for a walk in a moment," she said, patting a grateful Fellix on the arm.

"Thanks, Helena. Sorry, really. I'm just so comfortable, moving would be painful at this point," Bill said with grateful laziness. Rekka laughed and began scratching his back lightly causing him to shiver.

"Here you are, Bill. Your, um, tattoo is really quite interesting. I have never seen anything like it," Helena admitted. She poked delicately at it and immediately flung her hand back as her horn flashed alarmingly bright.

"Whoa, are you ok?" Bill asked, extremely concerned for his valuable healer.

"Oh, oh my. Yes, I am quite alright. How surprising. It did not harm me, quite the opposite. It seems to have.. transferred a rather large amount of energy. I feel as if I had not spent the past few days healing a myriad of injuries. It is ever so pleasant," Helena responded, speaking faster than normal. She sounded as if she'd just had a double shot of espresso. Or cocaine.

"Wow. Well, hell, that's interesting. I'm glad it didn't hurt you, whatever it is," Bill said, looking her over cautiously, hoping the woman hadn't been affected by bad mojo.

Helena let out a giggle, "I as well, do not worry, I feel positively sublime," she said, her eyes twinkling and her horn radiant. Her hooves danced in place, her hands moving about as though she didn't know what to do with them.

"Felix, come, let us walk a bit, I simply must expend some of this energy," Helena said, smiling widely at her chaste lover.

"Of course my dear, if you could, um, guide me a bit, I'd like nothing better," Felix responded, standing and facing away from the Pornagraphic Four. He'd turned to look when the incident occured, concerned. He was now trying to forget the sordid sight, the image of Bill's splayed legs with no regard for decency would particularly haunt him.

"Felix. Don't do anything I would do," Bill said, real threat in his voice.

"Aye! Yes, don't worry! I would.. I would never do anything you would do, on my honor!" Felix answered, completely serious.

"Thattaboy, you two have fun, but not too much fun," Bill said, looking at his phone now and flipping to the gallery.

Helena and Felix wandered away, Helena talking animatedly about how wonderful she felt while Felix gamely tried to keep up with her speeding words.

Bill watched the short video several times, zooming in to check for any remnant of a misspent youth. Finding none he felt a wave of relief rush over him, sagging into Rekka's lap.

"Thank fucking God. I fucking hated that barcode," Bill said finally.

"Is that all you care about? We don't even know what the hell that thing is, or what it just did to poor Helena there," Larry snapped, outraged by Bill's lack of interest.

"Oh, yeah. Who knows? It's more magic shit. You sure are high strung about this stuff, we're literally in another world and you're concerned about small things like my magic phone and tattoo," Bill replied, honestly unconcerned about the new tattoo and grateful to have it covering the old one.

"If I had to guess it's probably the reason I'm strong. More Merlin shit. I mean, I can't make sense of it or read it, can you? So I doubt I was even supposed to know it was there, or learn anything from it, right?" Bill explained, not really interested until a thought hit him. "I guess it does slightly confirm that someone intentionally brought me here, unless the guy that it was meant for was running late. That'd be kind of hilarious the more I think of it."

"I'm seriously questioning letting you lead this party, you know?" Larry grumped. "Look, Helena just tapped it and now she's lit up like a Christmas tree. What kind of effect could it have on other mamono? Hey, Rekka, do you feel more.. hellhoundy?"

"I'm the hellhoundiest hellhound that ever hellhounded!" Rekka cheered.

"Damn right, no hellhound can hellhound better than you hellhound, you hell of a hellhound," Bill added happily.

"I'm going to have to take your word on that, I don't know enough about hellhounds to dispute it. Just, did anything change, and I mean physically, when you touched that thing for the first time?" Larry asked.

"Nuh-uh, I never felt nothin' from it," Rekka answered, scratching a moaning Bill between his shoulder blades directly over the tattoo.

"Well.. well, shit. Tabby, please don't touch that if you can help it, I don't want that as yet unknown magical bullshit doing anything weird to you," Larry cautioned, patting Tabby's arm in worry. "Helena's probably protected by well known magical unicorn bullshit, but who the hell knows what that will do to a jinko, and I really don't want to find out if it's bad."

"Yes, my husband. I will be careful," Tabby said quietly, touched and purring at his concern for her.

"Look, you said you played video games. It's pretty obvious it just filled her mana bar or whatever," Bill said, luxuriating in Rekka's scratchings. "It don't work on Rekka cause she's got a stamina bar, right? Different thing entirely. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure that bar is bugged cause it don't ever go down."

"Ho-lee shit. That's the guy making the plans, ladies. If you had the frame of reference to understand what he's talking about you'd be running for the hills. I'm only sticking around because, frankly, I want to see what happens next," Larry explained, a morbid fascination for Bill's incompetence taking over.

"Yeah! Ain't it great?" Rekka said, delighted someone understood Bill as well as she did.

-

"Alright, seems to work," Bill said, letting out a sigh of relief.

Poor Helena was encircled by the party, each pressing a hand or paw to her equine back to ward off the High Orc's very inconvenient sex funk. It looked as though they were trying to win her in some sort of endurance contest. Felix had the honor of holding onto her hand. Only Bill wasn't in contact with her, as he seemed to be immune to it. He'd found he was the only one that thought it smelled like bacon.

"Hey, no messing around, this is important," Bill said, eyeing Rekka as she leered at him, pressing only a single padded paw finger to Helena for a moment. Finally she stuck her tongue out at him, taking a more secure hold of the poor unicorn.

"Right, now that's sorted," Bill continued, looking at Sarah and her assembled battle babes, "Sa.. Suidaena! Because that's your name. You've had your girls watching the quarry, right? No one's left with a couple wagons full of stone, right?"

"You can call me Sarah, I talked to the girls. They grew up with me anyway. I'll keep the dramatics for dealing with outsiders, but friends can use my real name. You made some good points, we're going to try being proper villainous scum like your George.. Washorntin?" Sarah asked.

"Oh fuck, you told her about the Christmas thing," Larry said, "Great, and you're mad at me for the guns? I think you started something horrifying here."

"Hey, long as our new friends benefit from it, and don't try out any underhanded tricks on us I'll see coming a mile away.." Bill replied, smirking at Sarah and nodding into the incredibly conspicuous "bushes" that had appeared overnight at their agreed upon meeting sight.

"Ah, hah hah. Just getting a little practice in while we waited, of course," Sarah said with a sickly grin, "Girls, you can finish training later, c'mon out now."

"Right. Keep it up, I'll give you a practical course on punji sticks," Bill growled at her, watching as the orcs sheepishly left their obvious ambush, bolo's and nets behind their backs.

"Look, I can see you're trying. It's just wasted effort in more ways than one. Ambushing a fort by hiding in some bushes isn't effective. I grew up watching the History Channel. I'm pretty much a master of guerrilla warfare as far as you're concerned. Do as I say and you'll be committing war crimes before the week is out, alright?" Bill lectured.

"Yes, I'm sorry. We're all tired of waiting though," Sarah whined, bouncing her warhammer on her shoulder anxiously.

"Focus, Sarah. The wagons?" Bill asked patiently.

"The wagons, yeah-no, they haven't left yet. There's a lot of activity now, though. So they might be about to?" Sarah said, watching Bill carefully.

She really wanted to ask about the punji sticks, sounding as if they'd be useful to her new strategy of unscrupulously avoiding a fair fight ever again.

"That's exactly why we've been waiting. They don't know that the fort has new owners yet, so as far as they're concerned it's business as usual. Time for us to move, we want to be well ahead of the wagons. Now I can show you how to set a real ambush," Bill explained, knowing just the spot. It had worked just fine on Felix and Helena.