After a Broken Heart

IV. MEETING OF THE MINDS

After we showered and dressed, we met in the kitchen. I asked what she would like to drink.

"Something a little stronger than tea, but refreshing. Any ideas?"

"How about a tequila sunrise?"

"Never had one, but it sounds good."

"It is. It's made with orange juice. I think you'll like it and I'll make them on the light side."

After I made a small pitcher, I moved us to the living room, and put on some soft jazz. We sat and sipped our drinks in silence for a bit.

As Kim finished her drink, she remarked, "That was yummy. May I?" she gestured with her glass. I poured us each another.

Then she surprised me.

"Brian, I think it's obvious we are attracted to each other. The question is, what does that mean, what can it mean?"

"Well for me, it means this is the first time I've been genuinely attracted to a woman in quite a while. And I can't express just how comfortable I feel with you in this very short time."

"Me too, Brian. And I'll be honest; I'm more than a little attracted to you," she quietly explained, "but I'm afraid to do anything about that. I mean, I live in New York. You live here. I don't think I'm ready for a one-night stand..."

"No, of course not. But, consider this: I have the means to travel just about anytime I want, and I am going to change my job to give me more free time. I don't want to get ahead of things, I just want to point out we have possibilities here, beyond just a one-time encounter."

"Yes, and I like that - possibilities. I haven't had any in a while."

"I haven't either, not for a long while."

After an amazing afternoon, I suggested we get the steaks going. I had worked up an appetite, as had she. We set about preparing dinner. Once we had things going in the kitchen, I fired up the grill. I was still taken with how comfortably we worked together.

Over dinner, I told Kim about my sons, my wife, the early years, the good times - vacations we took together; the bad times - when I would come home and feel like I was visiting someone else's household.

She told me about her husband, Tomas, an Italian-American that worked for a designer that her company did business with; about their happy years, the passion, the waning of the passion - something I could relate to. The more we talked, the more familiar history we shared, and the more connected I know we both felt. I began wondering, was our accidental meeting providence - an opportunity for both us to have a second chance. I know it was too early to think that way, but that sure was the way it felt.

I was drawn to Kim in every way - besides her physical beauty, she was a lovely person, a charming, sincere woman with a wonderful sense of humor. I loved her rich, sometimes husky voice that changed with mood and need for expression. And I got lost in her dark, sexy eyes. I would find myself transfixed by them.

"...our lovemaking became abbreviated; that's when I first felt something was wrong...Brian?" She caught me staring.

"Sorry, I got distracted."

Kim blushed, "Brian, I'm not looking forward to leaving after I'm done here. I am very much enjoying my time with you."

"Likewise, Kim. You know, I have some long overdue vacation time coming...just something to think about."

"Are you talking about us taking some time together."

"If you are interested."

"I am interested," she replied, placing a hand on mine.

We ended the evening on that note. I was excited by the possibility of being able to see Kim again, but we would have to see whether that was wishful thinking or not.

Tuesday, I spent the morning working on a proposal for my boss. Other than that, I thought about Kim. I didn't really understand what was happening there. I can't remember being so quickly attracted to and enamored with a woman before. Even with my wife, it wasn't like that.

Kim called after her appointment with the funeral home, and I suggested we meet at five p.m. for pizza.

At the restaurant, over drinks, Kim brought up our conversion from the night before.

"So, Brian, are we serious about trying to do something here?"

"Kim, I hope so. Let's try to make something of this. I'm willing to risk it."

She reached for my hand, "Yes, I think we should."

On the way home, Kim disclosed, "I was with one man after Tomas, kind of revenge sex, I guess. We only got together a couple times. It was a mistake. I haven't been with anyone, since."

"I haven't been with anyone, recently - my flight attendant friend a couple months ago. I haven't had a real relationship with anyone in over a year, and only a couple um, liaisons, besides that."

"I hope we're not just a liaison..." Kim expressed.

"I don't see how. And if you have doubts...listen, let's just continue to get to know each other, tonight. Let's not rush. I can't tell you how excited I am by the thought of being with you, but I don't want to...make a misstep here."

"Right, right," she replied, squeezing my hand, "thank you for understanding."

When we got to the house, we had an after-dinner drink and I talked about the plan I had come up with for my employment. Of course, my company could balk at my proposal, but I had decided that if they did, I would go independent. I was pretty certain that there were plenty of companies that would not hesitate to employ my services. I was at a point in my career, where I was confident that I was pretty much in the catbird's seat.

"When's the last time you took a vacation, Brian?"

"Um, let's see...not in conjunction with a business trip...six, seven years, I guess."

It surprised Kim when I said it, and it surprised me. I didn't realize it had been that long. It was the last time we did anything as a family, before my wife left me. It was a good trip, a good memory...the last good one, come to think of it.

"I have vacation time saved up," Kim stated.

I said, "I'm going to present my company with my proposal. I'll do that tomorrow. I have a trip scheduled next week, then when I return, I can probably clear my schedule for say a 'two-week' vacation..."

"Really?" Kim asked, looking at me. "When I get back, I can probably arrange to take my time off pretty soon. I could call my boss and float a tentative schedule..."

"I'm not looking forward to you leaving," I reiterated.

"Brian, would you...dance with me?"

"Of course. Let me put something on."

I put on a cd with a mix of standards.

The soaring vocals of "Unchained Melody" came on and I pulled Kim to me. Holding her close, I was taken with how natural she felt in my arms, with her head lying on my shoulder, her warm, firm body and soft breasts pressed against me. She tipped her head up and our lips met in a gentle, tender kiss. When her lips met mine, I was lost to the soft, sensual feel of her full lips. I felt her body tremble. I felt her hands wandering over my back, and I reciprocated. She pressed more firmly into me, and I felt a stirring as I became aroused.

After the kiss, I whispered, "That was lovely."

She responded, "I've been like you, Brian, unable to move forward, avoiding doing so, not trusting myself, not trusting others...I, I trust you."

In response, I hugged her more firmly to me. This was the most sublime moment I had experienced with a woman in years. It felt natural, comfortable, and I was incredibly impacted, emotionally.

"Brian, is it just the travel that's kept you from finding someone?"

"No. Besides that, I have been reluctant to get out there and mix. I mean, I don't go looking, you know, to clubs or anything."

"No, I haven't either. I went a couple times with girlfriends, but ugh, what an experience; all these desperate guys hitting on you, and expecting you to just instantly be interested in them. I couldn't do it."

We sat and I poured another drink, then lifted my glass in a toast, "Well, here's to us meeting the old-fashioned way - by accident!"

She laughed, "Yes, a fortuitous accident!"

Kim cuddled up against me. She reached a hand behind my neck and pulled me in for a gentle, but passionate kiss, which became more passionate and I felt her slender tongue invade my lips. We soul-kissed, lingering, relishing the feel of our tongues intertwined, our lips pressed together. I wrapped her up and crushed her to me. I felt her hand on my leg, then searching out my ever-growing erection. She grasped it and firmly stroked it through my slacks.

I broke the kiss, "Um, unless you don't want to stop...we need to."

"I don't want to stop," she replied, breathily, "but, you're right. I'm sorry. I got caught up in the moment."

I hugged her to me, and spoke in her ear, "Maybe a good time to call it a night," I reluctantly suggested.

"Mm hmm, I agree. Goodnight, Brian...and thank you."

We kissed and went to our bedrooms. I was about to explode. I promptly got in the shower and masturbated.

V. MEETING OF THE HEARTS

Wednesday morning, I presented my proposal to my boss. As expected, he did not react well. I didn't tell him I would take my services elsewhere if we couldn't reach an agreement. I was saving that till I got an official response after he kicked it upstairs. I had detailed the scope and limits of my consulting duties, especially travel and time commitments. I would not entertain more travel, more time away than I outlined. And there had to be a progression, less dependence on me over time. At the end of the day, I honestly didn't know what their decision would be, but assumed it would take some time for them to reach one. I took off at noon, and headed home. I had secured an early evening flight for Kim.

When I arrived, Kim was waiting; she had concluded her business with the lawyer. And it felt like home; a home I hadn't had since Dannie, since the early years. Dannie...I could feel her hold on me melting away.

Kim was having a profound effect on me; one I didn't entirely understand. We barely knew each other, but we quickly connected, achieving a rapport that required no effort. And there was no denying how we already felt about each other. How do you react to something like this - do you trust it and go with it, taking a chance on a big fall if it goes wrong; or are you cautious and guarded, maybe not giving it a fair chance to develop?

Kim had fixed chef salads for our lunch. As we sat and ate, I looked at the woman sitting across from me, and I was contemplating where we were heading; Kim caught me gathering wool.

"Penny for your thoughts, counselor."

I smiled, and decided to speak honestly, frankly, "I was thinking about us, Kim; about how I feel, how I think you feel, and what we do about it. I was debating on how much stock to put in those feelings, whether to trust them; whether to hold back or go all in..."

She put her fork down, pushed her salad bowl aside, and placed her hands on the table in front of her, palms up and reached across for mine, "What was your conclusion, counselor, your decision?"

I put my hands in hers, "My conclusion is that I don't understand how I can feel about you the way I do; but I know I do; and that I'm scared, afraid to make a mistake - by not doing what my heart tells me...or by doing what my heart tells me. My decision...my decision is this...do what my heart tells me."

A tear leaked down Kim's cheek, "What does your heart tell you, Brian?"

"To give itself to you, consequences be damned."

Leaking more tears, Kim stuttered, "I don't understand this, but my heart tells me the same thing. I'm afraid not to follow this feeling I have; afraid that if I'm too cautious, this opportunity could be lost. I don't want that to happen." She squeezed my hands hard, "But I am afraid of being hurt, being disappointed."

"I won't disappoint you, Kim."

"But what if I disappoint you, what if..."

"How could you?"

We stood in unison and walked around the table to each other and simply embraced, Kim laying her head on my shoulder. I wrapped her lithe body up in my arms and cradled her head with my hand.

"Are we moving too fast?" she asked in a small voice.

"Probably. Ask me if I care?"

"You don't. I don't either," she answered, looking up.

I met her lips with mine, and felt the wetness on her cheeks from her tears. I was almost moved to tears myself; so strong were the feelings I had for this woman that I'd known for such a short time.

"Brian...is it freaky scary how we click, how we mesh so naturally?"

"Freakishly freaky," I quipped.

She laughed, "So what dark secret are you hiding from me, what flaw that is going to shatter this connection we have, this affinity we have for each other."

"I always liked Superman better than Batman...and I always wanted Wiley Coyote to catch the Roadrunner and strangle the living crap out of him."

She cracked up, "Me, too! I thought Batman was too dark, and that damn roadrunner was too flippant. I felt sorry for the coyote. You knew the writers were never going to let him catch that damn bird."

We shared a laugh, but again we naturally connected, even if it was over something silly.

We decided to retire to the patio for pool ops.

After lying out a while, Kim exclaimed, "I'm hot," and rose to go to the pool.

I watched the strong muscles in her legs and stomach flex as she stood. She saw me watching and reached for me.

"Quit ogling and join me," she grinned.

"I'll join you, but I'll be damned if I'll quit ogling," I grinned back.

We dove in and cooled off. When we tired of the water, we climbed out of the pool, and as we headed for the towels, Kim turned and threw herself on me, wrapping me up.

We kissed deeply, passionately; our wet bodies mashed together. I became aroused. Kim pressed against my erection, then looked up at me questioningly.

"Kim, honey, don't make me choose."

"Oh, whew. I know what I want to do, but I don't want to mess up. I mean, if things don't work out, if something happens before we can get together..."

Fortunately, or unfortunately, time worked against us.

"We need to get ready to go," I said, grudgingly.

"Oh, yes, you're right."

We took our showers, dressed, and Kim packed.

VI. MOVING FORWARD.

As we headed to the airport, we talked through our plans on the way.

Kim had frontloaded her boss and they tentatively agreed on two weeks off starting the second week in July, a little over three weeks away - not an ideal time to travel, but I would try to find something that wasn't too overrun by the summer crowds.

I still had my employment situation unresolved, but was confident I would have an answer on that before we left. I had the one trip scheduled starting next week, but that was not an issue. I would be back in plenty of time to prepare for our getaway. Regardless of my company's decision, I was taking my two weeks off.

The next three weeks were some of the best and worst I have ever had - the best because of my anticipation at what those three weeks would bring; but the worst because, since taking Kim to the airport, I was in a constate state of flux. I couldn't help but dwell on the possibilities that the future held. At the same time, I was desperately missing Kim; and concerns and doubts would creep in about whether our feelings for each other were as profound as they felt, whether they would survive our separation. And my company informed me they would have a decision when I returned from Kuala Lumpur, so I had that hanging in the balance.

It was a long three weeks.

In the meantime, I was in communication with Kim, and we discussed where we should go, what we should do. She dumped it squarely in my lap.

"You're the world traveler, you decide. I've been to Italy, The Philippines, and Mexico. Other than that, I'm open," she offered.

There were so many options, I spent the three days before my trip trying to come up with an ideal getaway. I ruled out a cruise - no chance of getting decent accommodations this late. I looked at a South Pacific retreat, a European-based vacation, and a couple others. In the end, I decided for our first (hopefully 'only' our first) excursion to go with Europe - either Southern Germany, Scandinavia, or a Mediterranean destination. I made some calls, and an associate in Iraklion, Crete, told me about a villa overlooking the Mediterranean that was available on the north coast, west of the town of Khania (pronounced Han-ya' with a guttural 'H').

I decided that was the ticket. I had been to Khania before and it is a picturesque and pleasant place to visit, though this time of year, it would be very busy, and quite warm. Of course, the beaches would be covered with topless, European women, but some inconveniences had to be expected...

Kim was thrilled with the selection, so I made travel arrangements and took off on my 10-day trip to Kuala Lumpur. It was an exhausting but ultimately fruitful trip, and it kept me somewhat preoccupied and not thinking constantly about Kim.

I returned to 'Hotlanta' on a Tuesday, and it was blazing. I spent my first night passed out in the air conditioning for twelve straight hours, recovering from jet lag. Kim was arriving on Friday, and I couldn't wait.

In the meantime, I had a meeting scheduled with management to discuss my proposal. I met with them on Thursday, and with a few minor adjustments, they accepted my terms. My new arrangement would be instituted upon my return from vacation.

I was elated and couldn't wait for Kim to arrive, but I had plenty to keep me busy, meeting with various people in the company to frontload my new situation for when I returned. Though, Friday night couldn't come too soon.

While waiting for Kim at the airport, I was actually so nervous that at one point my palms were sweating. It is very unlike me to be nervous, but I was, worrying about the what if's.

I was standing by the carousel when she arrived. I spotted her in the knot of people that arrived with her, and she stood out from the crowd - not so much because of how she was dressed or anything, though she did look lovely, but because of her fabulous smile, her countenance - she practically glowed. Call me a sap if you like, but I was gone for her. My time away from Kim had only reinforced my feelings for her.

When she saw me at a distance, she smiled and waved, and as she got closer, her smile broke into a grin and I hurried to close the distance between us. We threw our arms around each other, and for the first time in three weeks, I felt whole again.

"Oh baby, I missed you. I hope you missed me, too," she cooed in my ear.

"Kim, honey, I can't begin to tell you how much I missed you, and how much I worried."

She leaned back and looked me in the eyes, "You worried? About?"

"Whether you would still feel the same..."

"Oh, Brian, I have been going crazy, worrying the same thing. I guess we're okay, though?"

"Yes, I think we're better than okay," I replied, then hugged her to me again.

While we waited for her luggage, we caught up.

"So, you said we leave tomorrow?"

"Yes, on an overnighter that leaves in the evening. We have sleepers so it's not too bad. We do have a long layover in Athens, where we catch a short commuter flight to Crete."

"Sounds wonderful. I am so looking forward to this," then she grinned, "I've never flown in a sleeper before."

"Well, I've never flown with such a beautiful woman, before."

"Oh, stop it...There's one of my bags," she exclaimed, and I maneuvered through people to grab it. "The other one's coming - just like it," she informed me.

I grabbed it and we headed for parking.

"You said you've never traveled with such a beautiful woman before. What about your wife?"

"Dannie is beautiful, but very honestly, she is not as beautiful as you."

"Really," she grinned, "so I don't have to be jealous?"

"Not at all...So I expect you're hungry."

"Oh yes, that smidgen of pretzels on the plane didn't quite fill me up. Why do they even bother?"