All Comments on 'After Work'

Not bad at all, Blue! The story itself is very sexy and arousing....and it never hurts to tap into the "old, reliable" 2 women/1 man fantasy. In terms of criticism, I'd say focus some more attention on the basics of spelling and proofreading, since those little speedbumps usually take me "out" of the story. Also, watch your pacing. It reads like sometimes you were in a hurry to get your idea in writing and left out some details that made it difficult to follow. It was a choppy read in spots. This was most difficult for me in your initial paragraph with phrases like "After closing...." I wasn't sure what was being closed?! But overall, a great read. You've got certain talent that just needs a little more polish. Keep it up (pun intended)!!

-J.C.