All Comments on 'Agency'

I'm not a big proponent of abortion but I do think it is a woman's right to control her body. I can also see how her unilateral action would make the husband angry. "BUT" his decision to take the actions he took even after learning of her PPD proved to me he was not the loving husband he professed to be. The author apparently does not believe PPD is a real thing and it is crippling to a lot if not treated. It can be treated just the same as any other illness. When a person steps in front of a train or jumps off a bridge some will say he or she took the cowards way out because of the carnage left behind by there actions, I've said it myself. But if they stop and think about how much pain that person had to be in, to overcome every humans strongest instinct of self preservation and make that first step to the end there pain, then they should be able to understand there actions. When he should have been more understanding all he did was heap a little more dog shit on top of her and compound her problems. This author usually gets higher scores from me but not this time. 2 Stars.

What about a man's rights? If it's a woman's choice alone, whether or not she has a baby, give birth or abort, and the father doesn't get a say, shouldn't he get a choice whether or not he pays for it? If a woman doesn't want to be a mother, she gets to decide on her own to kill the baby. Shouldn't a man that doesn't want to be a father get a choice to walk away? Why does he have to pay for her choice? Or are we still medieval in thinking that it's always the man's fault that a woman gets pregnant, like she had zero input in the conception? She gets to make a decision with ramifications for the rest of his life, and he has to live with her choice, while getting no choice himself. It takes 2 to make a baby, but only one gets to make a choice with life altering consequences for 3 people. Her body, her choice. Baby's life, also her choice. Father's baby, father's life, still her choice.

Go ahead. Tear me a new one. Have a rant. It sure beats having a rational discussion. After all, debating like adults is sooooo unpopular these days. Why debate, when you can just hurl abuse and accusations, and claim a "victory" without using those few remaining brain cells.

@JustOneMansOpinion

It would be much better if you shared informed opinions instead of what you believe to be the truth. Professionally speaking, it irritates me no end when people confuse mental illness, rationality, delusion, the ability to make informed decisions, mood disorders, etc. You speak as though a mood disorder is synonymous with a severe limitation in being rational. That may be true in more extreme cases, and in may even be true that a moderate mood d/o affects reasoning ability for a good number of people. However, you suggest that women with PPD are a special case, and moreover, this condition entitles them to make rash if not poor decisions that have life-changing consequences. So where do you draw the line? You read the story of the woman killing her children and claiming PPD as "the reason"? You agree with that? Why or why not? You actually parse blame to the husband for his wife's admittedly (too late as it turns out) rash decision. So she didn't compound the problem all on her own? She decides not to turn to her soulmate when in misery? You sir, offer nothing but an irrational comment based on your feelings. What you suggest is despicable-and that's my opinion.

Short and direct! You want a good marriage then communicate. Sounds like her approach was mine and ours. No room for you or yours. She got what she wanted! Maybe he got what he deserved.

What is missing from this story is any indication of love between he couple neither one of them mentions loving the other. The only emotion is anger.

Sounds like a modern woman.

5 stars and a sad commentary on our new 'enlightened' society.

They both got exactly what they wanted.

Too bad it is always the child that suffers the loss of one or both parents.

Congratulations, sir! You have found your audience. You can continue producing raw meat for your pet trolls. Your hatred of women comes through loud and clear.

1 star.

@Ruttweiler, thanks. I try.

As the wonderful Dave Chappelle says...if you can kill it, I can abandon it.

Exceptional story. 5 stars.

Funny thing. You don't see Starsong, Ruttweiler, or the other misandrists railing against the many man hating authors infesting LW. Why?

was a high point - the depiction of depression from the inside was both unpleasant and convincing. Depression isn't a joke or an evasion... and so I see this as kind of a tragedy, and kind of a uplifting heroic thing.

The guy was a jerk - he planned his divorce without letting her know. Yes, I know, she did it first... but he did it as well. This is how you destroy relationships.

But! And here is the heroic part - they both moved to better lives. The hyper child is now being loved, and the guy has found the cute second chance woman, and the wife is now a mom and happier with it and her new job.

Out of sadness comes growth. Such, I say, a deal.

And the fact that the author managed to both get the attention of and to piss off major proponents of competing sides in the great gender wars... shows he has some significant chops.

Green-something

(Starchild removed her comment? I wouldn't expect Griscom to edit the commentariat for this piece - as someone said, a large bit of the fun is the comments.)

@green117, I have not removed/deleted any comments, unless by accident. Thanks for the comment.

The feminist blather about women having a private right of murder was nauseating, but it's where about 40% of the country is, including most soi disant "intellectuals". A woman who'd do what this one did is a monster as well as a criminal. The "extended post partum depression" trope was a transparent, unconvincing attempt to avoid moral responsibility for the murder. Nazis were pikers compared to feminists and their male enablers.

This is a sad one. But it's good. They were both too stubborn for too long. I mean, she was first and he was just reacting out of her selfishness, but it does take two. It's still sad though.

Agency…..

Hmmmm! They both got what they wanted. Stupid people.

I feel sorry for the daughter, having such stupid parents

4/5

Gets a 5 from me. More of this quality please. Only the second one of yours I have read and very impressed. Short, sharp and well thought out. Painting a picture without the flowery stuff a lot of writers pad a story with is refreshing. As I said it’s a 5.

5 stars

I stopped commenting - no one cares anyway.

4 stars--Sad story. Wasn't cheating, just lack of communication on her part, plus he was a bit too hard headed.

Abortion in a marriage is not forgivable. Totallymunderstand his views. Murdered his child without a mention.

Sad story. Not really sure what to make of it. Sure she shouldn't have kept what she was feeling from him but also think he went overboard, and to think she didn't actually cheat either. Maybe he just wasn't worth it either.

Not every story has a happy ending. Nice Job

Brilliant plot. Not what I was expecting. 5 stars and added to my favourites.

In my opinion the substance of this story is respect. A man and a woman jointly created a new life.

A man made law gave the woman the unilateral right to keep or kill that creation. But common sense would tell us that out of respect for his participation in its creation and his possible desire to nurture that creation, he should at least understand and hopefully support her decision to kill it.

To completely ignore his interest and fail to disclose to him her decision before she kills it then to actively attempt to hide the event from him is an act of disrespect serios enough to end their relationship.

So he did.

Ok. Before the right to lifers bring their AR15 assault rifles out, let’s get one thing straight.

A woman has a right to choose what to do with her body

But a husband has a right to assume that any pregnancy he creates with his wife, will be carried to term.

She was wrong to get an abortion under these circumstances, if she would not allow him a divorce. It really is no different, than a woman totally cutting off a husband from sex, or a husband quitting work, and refusing to get another job. There are expectations when you enter into a marriage. If you decide to change, or not honor them, you have no right to force the other person to stay in the marriage. I gave this story 5 stars, because it was a different story line than I usually see on this site.

@Anonymous Re: "an indictment of abortion under any circumstances" - How do you see that? It's an indictment of having an abortion without taking the father's feelings and opinion into account, that's all.

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One thing that gets glossed over was their lack of sex, then one night she gets drunk and "let's him have sex."

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@Lickideesplit, I totally agree that if she was open about the pregnancy that he might have agreed with the abortion or accepted it as her choice, saving the marriage. Or NOT accepted her choice, making him the villain that some here believe him to be.

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@Crusader235, I'm 100% pro-choice, but I agree that the father (not necessarily husband!) deserves to have his opinion heard, even if the decision goes contrary to that opinion. The only exceptions should be in abusive relationships.

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@BuzzCzar, I agree that the FINAL decision lies with the woman, that doesn't mean that the father should be left out of the decision-making process.

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@Anonymous Re: "it is not her body her life alone anymore" - 1 & 2 aren't in dispute. 3 "she lied about affair?" There was NO affair! 4 "she hid a life treating operation-abortions kill unborn and the thing carrying them(they aint moms)" Besides showing your anti-abortion bias, the point about hiding the procedure is the whole point of the story. 5 "right to life does not mean-have unsafe sex and fuck the results-see aids" What does right to life have to do with this story, and her only "unsafe sex" was with her husband! 6 "post depression-fucking white woman bullshit in this case" What does race have to do with this? Her race was never even specified. 7 "she takes no reasonability- no I'm sorry - really do you expect any male writer to include that as it does not exist in the modern world(female remorse for causing men pain)" I have no words for this one. 8 "being female does not mean shit with regard to motherhood or loving wife - it takes effort - none was shown in this story from her - he gave her every chance he could to help purge his anger" Also makes no sense, but I don't think anything was going to purge his anger because the damage was done, though MAYBE an admission of wrong might have helped. 9 "the truth is men lie but rarely believe their own bs - women believe it and surprised when someone pushes back as in this case" This is just misogynistic crap.

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@6227 Re: "He didn't have to blow up Rick's marriage though, that was petty." - He didn't blow up Rick's marriage, Rick's cheating did.

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@green117, Not "starchild," but starsong77's comment wasn't deleted, it was a signed anonymous comment.

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@nixrox: "I stopped commenting - no one cares anyway." - LOL, a comment to say you stopped commenting!

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@Anonymous Re: "Abortion in a marriage is not forgivable." - What if the husband agrees? And abortion isn't murder.

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Ok, feminized anon below, let's get one thing straight. When a woman gets an abortion she is murdering another human being. She isn't just "choosing" what she wants to do with her body, she is unilaterally deciding what happens to someone else's body. The "mother" character would be an unfit mother in real life.

I really like this story. He finds out too late that he is with the wrong woman. He may have agreed with the abortion, who knows, she never gave him the chance. So how should he react? She had no trust or faith that he would have a discussion with her so she uses the old "its my body" argument.

I have had many arguments about abortion with my daughters partner who works for planned parenthood. She is a real man hater.

My argument has always been in notifying the husband or boyfriend I know the law states that is not required and they do it because of abusive relations. I guess they fear that when the woman tells the man she is getting an abortion they think that all men will now beat the woman half to death or kill her. My thought is that if you have a loving relationship you will discuss this. If you end up not agreeing then you just learned you are with the wrong spouse or partner. I think the only time a man may get violent is if say he had a vasectomy and now find outs that his wife is pregnant. So the law is to protect a cheater.

Only big flaw in that is if the woman was obligated to tell the "father". In the case of cheating she is telling her lover and her husband is still in the dark.

I can understand both sides of the issue. I also believe that God put that sperm and ova together specifically to make a child/children. Last that I heard, more than 60 million (60,000,000) abortions have occurred in this country. That number is simply horrible. Especially when one considers all of the different available methods & products to prevent conception. LP

Second read of this for me and I'm impressed with this story's nuances. IMO, the crux of the matter wasn't the abortion per second but the devious way she approached it. Thanks for sharing!

Painful for everyone, but real.

I personally hated the story as there are almost no positives to it, but it was thought provoking and controversial. And that murder!

Got the divorce she deserved.

So sad. So true.

So sad. I know such depression can take years and can lead to murder and suicide.

Great decision by the husband

Did not appear either was committed to a marriage. Train wreck on both side’s

Re Dice Guy: Neither was committed to the marriage. Hardly. The husband rightly couldn't stay married to a narcissistic murderess.

An interesting discussion about abortion

Well done. Thank you, Griscom!

She chose he chose

He made better decisions

Abortion isn't always murder for you simpletons out there. For God's sake the woman was mentally ill. The marriage was already in trouble and both spouses had checked out, so it's conclusion was foregone and would have been precipitated by something else if not an abortion. The story is sad but real. It would have been a better tale has the ex gotten further treatment and found another fulfilling marriage. There was an inkling of btb here. Made me feel sad for the couple and the child, had it grown up in a single parent household.

Elective abortion is always murder. Adoption works, despite sick narcissistic society.

Abortion cannot be anything but murder. Regardless of the reason, it involves taking a life that God put in the mothers womb. LP

Your belief is that abortion is murder. That belief stems from your religion. Freedom of religion means freedom from religion. So you can take your religious beliefs and shove them up your ass.

There ar 3 bodies in a pregnancy..

The father's outside looking in after being inside supplying seed.

The mother's always outside but holding In order.

The father.

His seed.

Then their joint conception.

The newly conceived life is always a separate entity.

Held within her body but not part of it.

The product and responsibility of both parents.

Not just a part of her body to do with as she will.

It is a human life worthy to be delivered and nurtured to its full potential..

Nicely done bar the abortion debate you started. I can understand abortion before the science moved along and we could tell when a heartbeat started...when pain could be felt....when each part developed. For people who generally say follow the science it's hypocritical when the science doesn't count in abortion issues. TC Ireland

What bullshit. Can you imagine one business partner telling the other business partner that he killed a great expansion deal for the business, without any discussion, because He did not want the business to grow? An unmarried woman has agency, a pregnant woman has commitment and responsibility. A woman is a person. A married woman is a partner. A pregnant woman is two people. A pregnant married woman has commitment and responsibility to her child and her husband. The woman in this story divorced her child, then her husband. Now she has agency again. And the ex husband has a partner, again. Guess they both end up with what they want. Happy thought indeed. Thanks for the effort.

A good story, an important story. One that could be the basis of a useful discussion of a very difficult subject, if only the participants could set their prejudices aside in order to listen to others.

For me, left undiscussed is the state of their relationship before the pregnancy, that led both of them to make mistakes.

Another story that confirms that people who refuse to talk about their problems screw themselves in the end. 4*

"I just stared at my phone in shock, wondering where the nice guy I had married had gone."

The husband pretty much said the same thing about her:

“"It used to be that when I looked into your eyes every day, I saw the woman I fell in love with. Now, I don't see her anymore. I don't know where the woman inside there now came from. Maybe she was hidden there the whole time. Frankly, I don't really like that selfish bitch.”

In the end they both got what they wanted. She got her abortion and he got a divorce. Hopefully next time they'll able to chose life partners that are more compatible and in sync on the issues in life that they feel strongly about.

Burn the bitch.

I would have done the same.

It all boils down to "does a woman have agency over her own body". If you don't believe she does then every adult needs to be tested for a match for bone marrow, liver and kidney. If they are a match to someone who needs a transplant then they need to be forced to donate since not doing so leads to people dieing.

So does her having agency over her body mean that she can lie to her husband. What’s next, that she is allowed to have sex with other men? Was she mot taking agency for her body when she had sex without protection?

So well written. You give us two people who confront an occasion of mutual distrust in mutually destructive ways. Each experiences anxiety and anger, while lurking beneath their antagonism and anguish are the seemingly intractable issues of abortion and women's vs. men's agencies. There are no winners here, save you, the author, who moved so many readers.

Why does every pro-baby-murder idiot always assume everyone who is pro-LIFE insist we only believe it because muh-religion? I'm an atheist, and have been since I was a child, but as you can probably guess, I don't think abortion should be legal for anything but assault, incest or health of the mother. I cannot see how people can justify sacrificing an innocent child because the MOTHER couldn't keep her legs shut as a sane legal position. Maybe that's just me.

Response:

Nitpic12

He

He is a first class arsehole. She should pay him back by making it awkward to see his daughter when he wanted, especially seeing how he is shacked up with Miss Julie.

I'm a little late to respond to this post, but I simply couldn't stop myself from responding after reading it. You Nitpic12 are the kind of narcissistic cunt that makes me think the right answer is just plain shoot manipulative bitches in the face for the good of the species. Sure you'll spend twenty-five to life in prison or get the chair, but maybe the manipulative cunt will wake the fuck up to the fact that FATHERS have just much fucking right to be in their children's lives as MOTHERS. Children are not tokens for their parents to use in their little games of one-upsmanship. How pro-obstructionist would you be if he'd been given primary custody and cut his ex-wife out their child's life? I bet you wouldn't be so gung-ho on that shit-uation, would you?

Look...the main issue that is getting lost in the weeds of the discussion about abortion is the serious lack of communication between spouses.

This is the heart of the problem. She HAD a diagnosable and treatable disorder...she chose to let him cum inside of her. She knew there was a good possibility she would get pregnant. Largely because of her post partum depression she unilaterally chose to terminate the pregnancy.

If she had simply spoken to him about the pregnancy. Talked about how the thought of another child literally made her feel suicidal or like she needed to run away...it's highly possible that as a loving and caring partner he gets her the help she needs sooner. And the outcome might have been reached jointly that the timing was horrible. That it might drive her to further depression and actual suicide attempts. So...maybe they decide after much thought and agonizing together...that ending the pregnancy is their best option? In the end the ultimate decision is hers. But in the end this and any marriage and partnership and intimate relationship hinge on communication and sharing.

Once she decided on her own that she needed to end the child/embryo growing in her womb without consulting her chosen life partner? Wel...that's a betrayal. Plain and simple. On par with cheating in my opinion.

Unforgivable. Unconscionable.

She got what she deserved. A husband who no longer trusted her to tell the truth. Amd subsequently a divorce.

I wonder what her life looks like 20 years in the future? Her ex is happily remarried and has 3 children with his new wife Julie?

Her daughter is grown and graduated from college. Marrying her longtime boyfriend. Planning the wedding for their daughter brings her into close contact with her ex and his new wife. She watches with an uneasy jealous eye the day of wedding as her daughter comfortably and happily interacts with her younger half siblings.

And she sadly remembers and looks ati what she almost had...if not for that post partem depression

If it's a woman's body, and her choice, (that sounds quite reasonable) whether or not she gets an abortion without the father's input, then shouldn't a guy that doesn't want to be a father get to decide whether or not he has to pay for it? His money, his choice? It takes 2 to make a baby, so why does only one get to make all the decisions? She wants to keep the baby, or abort the baby, her body, her choice. Sounds reasonable. So why does the guy get zero choices about his future? The woman wants the baby? Fine, then pay for it herself. If both want it, great. But, again, if it takes 2 to tango, so to speak, why does only 1 get to make all the decisions from then on?

To address the story, well written and bringing up a viewpoint about abortion that has not been discussed much, the fathers view of the situation. To one that thinks the father is an asshole and the mother should ransom his visitation rights to get even, no that isn't right on several levels and to those who completely take the fathers side I can also understand But, I whole heartedly agree marriage is a partner ship and anything affecting the marriage and I mean anything needs to be discussed openly and honestly. In my old age I have changed my views on abortion and I'm against. I also feel there is no excuse for getting pregnant what with all the birth control options these days plus of course the 'morning after pill". Having a child is definitely at the top of the discussion agenda when in a normal sexual relation ship and also not having a child. In my younger years I never wanted children but started out with two, I loved them and took care of them and now they don't talk to me after that 13 year failed over 40 years ago. I now have 4 other kids from a marriage that lasted 40 years. The kids are are all great and adults and I love them all. Go figure. 5 stars for me.

"I convinced myself that I did, in fact, want a sibling for my toddler, and let my husband make love to me." - What does her wanting a baby got to do with "letting" her husband make love to her? She never heard of birth control?

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"And for the past eight months, we haven't had sex more than a handful of times." - Again, so she doesn't want another baby, but why aren't they having sex?

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"I thought you would get mad, so I had to look after my own safety." - Why? He's apparently agreed with the decision to not have more children, even if he doesn't want her to get the abortion, surely if she made it about her safety he wouldn't be unreasonable.

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"You just don't want my child though, right?" - It's not just that she didn't want his child (or any child, for that matter,) but that she ended the pregnancy without even talking to him.

Abortion is premeditated murder. A desire for convenience, wanting to avoid responsibility, narcissism, etc., no matter if it's the mother and/or the father, does not confer a private right of murder. The worst holocaust in human history by far is the abortion holocaust. Feminism makes Nazis, Pol Pot, Stalin, and Mao look like pikers.

Great end to the story.

Wow! A thought-provoking, intelligent story in LW is a rarity. Kudos to Griscom for having the balls to write a believable story about this important marital issue …communication, or the lack thereof. Five stars ⭐️ for this daring story!

Anon mentioned Chapelle and yeah, if it's ok for her to kill it, why isn't it ok for me to merely abandon it? This pro-choice stuff seems a bit double standard.

If you can't trust a woman with your child, barely started in life or not, you need a different woman. In that choice, you might want to reconsider marrying a liberal woman.

As for the PPD, if once she was cured, she communicated she was devastated over her choice to kill his kid...

Probably a discussion anyone marrying a lefty woman should have. Would you, under what circumstance, consider aborting my baby/fetus?

So much for her "Agency".

Schwanze... That post wasn't as bad as some of your other right wing utterances... But it might interest you to know... Many people that are left leaning politically... Are against abortion... Except in the case of the Orange clown... He should have been aborted...

-jaye-

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, open and with dialog. As soon as that fails, trust goes 'out of the window'. How can you trust a wife that has an abortion and not say she is pregnant, regardless of her state of mind. Also how did she get time off work to have it done. That is possibly what alerted the husband to her actions. Secrets, the death of a marriage or partnership.

The dialog was stupid. Although I think the husband went overboard, I sure don't remember pro-life being part of vows. lol

I see mfbridges does understand that marriage is a 'we' and not 'me'. Marriage vows are two persons became one. Even with mental illness this does not cover what she did. I am unsure about the legal requirements of having an abortion, but where a person is married, can I assume both persons need agreement. If so how did she get around that? The husband was pro life (as is shock horror, the bible and there is states something like if an animal kicks etc. a pregnant woman and she aborts, that is classed as murder and if it has a history of that behaviour, the own is then accountable to murder with their own life.), thus the wife has undertaken a heinous act and for that he divorced her. The father had every right to expect to protect and look after that terminated life and it to have an elder sibling to play with. Thus I feel mfbridges has his/her own views but he/her does not understand what it is to be fully married.

Seems some people don't understand what "one flesh" means. You don't have to be deeply religious to understand what a partnership like a marriage means. Spouse and I (married 33+ years) discuss big matters. Doesn't mean we agree, But our secrets are things like birthday presents, etc. Not abortion without discussion.

Supporting access to abortion doesn't mean you're okay with abortion. It means that what strangers do is their business. I know a number of couples who nominally support abortion access -- for others -- but are horrified at the thought of it with respect to their own babies.

And in this case, what your spouse does, while concealing it from you, is a very different matter. A knock-down, drag-out fight would have been more honest. Just as well he left the selfish twat. 5 *

Self-righteous men will love this drivel that is mostly blabber the author talked to himself in mirror.

Most of these BTB jack____ had never had a decent female companion so they pour all the vitriol of their miserable loneliness into hatred toward imaginary women that wronged them.

Post partum depression crops up after a couple of years? Just proves that comparison between a psychiatrist and a counselor. A shrink tries to cure your mental problems, a counselor helps you find ways to help you justify your actions.

Let the fire storm begin! In light of the current feminist and religious group stands on abortion combined with the recent rulings from the US Supreme Court on Roe verses Wade this will make for a multi-opinionated story line. Will be interesting to see how many female writers express their thoughts as well as the male side of wife's control of her reproductive choices when faced with the husband's desire for or against a child being in the family mixture.

Dear @Anonymous re "Self-righteous men," I think that the word you are looking for is "blather." When I talk to myself--and I don't need a mirror to do it--I go for actual words. And please don't tease me. What's the word fragment after "jack?" Is it "asses?" Because if that word makes you clutch your pearls, you may be on the wrong site. But thanks for the read.

Wow, what a bitch!! Good he divorced her

It's funny that the cliche of the modern liberated women being entitled, narcissistic and sociopathic? We all know them they argue the facts till they start losing then jump straight into the character assassination. The more unhinged they become the volume of their speech increases usually ending in the selfish bastard epitaph.

I never understood my body my choice if that's true what about the babies body? Does abortion only apply to boys because of course girl babies are sacrosanct. Frankly it's all bullshit if your too fucking stupid to not get pregnant then no one gives a fuck what you think.

The modern, liberated woman... whose "agency" demands that she kill her child. What a fucking cunt.

A story where everyone lost.

I hate it, it comes from the the view and thoughts of a women who dose not realize her limits. While I support , and know that women are truly gifts of the Creator, 'HE' holds them accountable to their limits that 'HE' judges them by. 'WE' both men and women have very little true agency, and we often screw that up. It's a sad story, but until I felt otherwise I would have tried to stay with just to be sure the marriage needed to end or find that it was already ended.

Good

In today's society with everyone worried about their rights individually instead of as couples/, partner's etc this happens to many times. Why?! If you Care More about your own rights just don't get married

5 Stars as the same thing happened to My Cousin . His wife went to see her mother for 2 weeks and had an abortion done . My Cousin to this day does not trust women . If My wife had gotten an abortion without talking to Me about it would have been Divorce city . Yes it is her Body and Yes She has the final say , But to just have an abortion when she knew it was his Child .. I have no words for it and good luck with the Shrinks and Counselors

Well done. Tackles a tough subject. The two year extended post partum diagnosis seems hard to swallow but who knows, I certainly am not a psych expert. That being said, the fact that that she willfully sought the procedure without nary a wors to her husband is a deal breaker. Hubby was a bit hung up on the alleged cheating but could have verified that through other means. Kind of distracted from the core problem. She lied about a major life decision because she did not want to have an argument with her husband. And for many months they were drifting anyways. She probably was depressed but hard to believe she couldn't talk with him. So what if they argued. In the end she could still decided to go through with it and while hubby might be pissed, there is a chance he would have stayed with her, albeit after counseling. Regardless of a tough issue, partners should discuss thr things that happen in their lives especially the big ones. A pregnancy is a massive one. Her lie by omission and her post-abortion defense was a deal breaker. I wager if she had admitted her severely bad choice and owned her destruction of his trust, they might have had a chance (only a chance) with outside intervention and therapy. But her abrasive and defensive attitude after the fact and the friction prior to it when they made love a handful of times over 8 months (marriage is pretty much dead at that frequency unless a health or mental problem), not to mention suspicions that magnified in the husband's mind (though admittedly wrong), doomed their marriage. And not surprising she has real regret later on. Nice trick about the custody.

5 stars - Yep just one more self-righteous, entitled, selfish, bitch taking care of business in this new age world. I believe the husband should have taken the bitch to court and presented all the evidence he had to demonstrate her inability to be a competent mother for their child. He should have taken the child away from her and only allowed minimal supervised visitation.

What a bitch of a wife and her agency!! Clever husband to divorce her

4 Stars , My Buddy wife did not want any children . He had to wear condoms but sadly 1 failed and she ended up with a baby . Emily wanted to have an abortion but he told her that they would get 50 thou from a couple that wanted kids . They ended up divorced and he got the Baby . Now she says she wants a baby just not with him . But she did get 25 thou from him . What a mess

It is her body and she has the ultimate right to decide BUT to make a decision of this magnitude without consulting with her husband (the baby's father) clearly shows her character and lack of long term commitment to her spouse. He was smart to divorce her before she decided her next step was to collect on his life insurance!!!

Seems unfinished somehow….

Not good not to tell her husband, but she had every right to get the abortion. Woman's choice. The affair bit was just her husband being an asshole. She should start to date. She'll find a good man quickly.

Interesting and good story.

The husband had no right to accuse her publically of having an affair when he had no proof. I doubt I would want to carry his child either. Given his accusatory and intrusive nature, perhaps he is having too many opportunities to impart those qualities to their daughter. Limiting her contact with him may be best.

Good conflicting story in which you had her do the right thing for HERSELF and him do the right and only thing because of how she went about doing it...4 stars...JZK

Love the anonymous writers calling him a dick and she could do better. Simple..lie about this and you can never be trusted again. Marriage without trust....

TC Ireland

I can’t believe all the comments saying it is totally the wife’s decision to get an abortion. I could never be in a marriage where my wife would do this behind my back. One of the author’s most thought provoking posts.

What a bitch of a wife and her 'agency' is a joke!!

You're a good writer. I have to assume you were either drunk, high or having a mental breakdown when you wrote this. Those things could explain the absolute dumpster fire of a shit pile this was.

All the commenters crap about her right etc. is tedious. Yes every one has agency and that certainly extends to a woman's body without a doubt. BUT when a heterosexual couple marry, it becomes a partnership. A norm of joint agency by common consent. And that often means children for young couples (or not). It sounds as if they initially thought they wanted another child but then she changed her mind and acted on it without at least consulting him. So the joint agency is broken and it was a marriage breaker for him. I think that blame here is rendered moot because she suffered from a mental illness which made her exercise of her agency ill advised. I can see the fictional husbands point but I would have forgiven her and supported her getting treatment until she regained normal self competency before deciding whether to reconcile the marriage. The ending certainly sounded as if she had gotten past the troubles of parenthood stemmingg from PPD and would have returned to being the loving spouse. I think the guy was being too hardass given that revelation, but his main fault was not ending the marriage more charitably. I endured my wife's severe PPD after a child's birth and it was Hell but I would never have considered abandoning her.