All Comments on 'Alena's Game Ch. 01'

Awesome story!

I came here from following your other story 'What We Say in the Dark' just out of curiosity though maybe I shouldnt have. I really dont think that Cassie is the right person to treat Quinn. The problem I see here is her being biased because she has an inherent approval of the lifestyle and Madam Syn. Right now we dont really know why Quinn became her patient but my first guess would be to overcome the negative aspects of grief. But what she actually should help processing with is not just the grief but also the sexual abuse and conditioning. Why sexual abuse and conditioning? Because the end of chapter 9 of 'What We Say in the Dark' and the event he retold in this chapter have great similarities with the circle of domestic violence/abuse and its conditioning effect. His initial goal was to enrich their lifes not only because he was unhappy at the moment but also because he thought that his wife deserved a more fulfilling life. But they ended up with an abusive spouse who got off on the power and one submissive spouse who took it all out of love. He was forced into this, with manipulation (tease/denial) to a breaking point and violence (electroshocks) to seek his compliance. That shows us that he was forced into this role and conditioned to stay in the role. And Madam Syns enabling in this chapter shows that she is not a good Dom who doesnt know what she does. With that we get back to the start of my observation why Cassie shouldnt be his therapist. She likes Madam Syn and didnt see anything wrong when she met her at Lost and Found. Any normal person would be horrified after what Quinn told her and Cassie specificially should know what was/is happening in detail with his mind with her degree in psychology. Though I dont think she will actually see anything wrong. I will just go with the assumption that Quinn will tell her that he is happy with his submissive role, like the victims who are at the receiving end of domestic violence will tell everyone and themselves that they are happy. And she wont question it because of her bias towards the actors and the lifestyle. For me thats alarming.

Excellently written. I read the whole thing even though I was annoyed from page one. That’s how I know it was good. It’s fine it’s fascinating to think somebody would subject themselves to this and enjoy it. Who are you saying how much she loves him for being willing to come to my embarrassment and pain seems beyond me to comprehend. And a man who stands up for this also seems to be on my comprehension. There is love and there is blind love. Why in the world is dangerous. It’ll be interesting to see how this works out. Well done.

great story. but i hope it's NOT another story that the author leaves us all hanging !!

Great story, if not my kink. From that perspective, it's a 2.

But the characters are a 5! And I love the interconnected series! What really dragged it down, though, is I felt the logistics and character blocking was a little unclear, a little clunky. I could tell what was happening, but just enough details were left out or were slightly off in wording to the point of distraction.

Thanks for the thought that went into the comments, folks! Alena's Game is already completed at 18 chapters, and I'm going to try to publish two a week when What We Say In The Dark concludes next weekend. @thorlol, I hear what you say about the whole hopeless helpless submissive thing getting done to death... it seems more interesting to look at the other side of the coin and ask in the D/s relationship that evolves, who really finds themselves dancing to the other's tune?

Ah thats not really what I meant. What I meant to say is that Quinn situation is the same like someone who experienced domestic violence. Thats not a D/S relationship. You could argue that the men/women who are beating their spouse every now and then is a dominant one but I would say he/she is nothing more than someone who belongs into prison. They same happend to Quinn, just that it was sexual violence/abuse. Cassie is in the first place a relationship counsellor, not a trauma therapist, so its not a really good match. But I am using real life logic so it wont matter in this case, because its probably more about him already being submissve and Cassie working on him to stay that way and coming to terms with it instead of processing it and recognizing what harm Alena actually did to him and his psyche.

@thorlol, sorry, you're right, I misread. It's a really important point, and not something you see covered a lot around here. I'm speaking from the hindsight of (obviously) having already read the rest of this story and the one that comes after, but I thought it was important this idea about the ability to rationally consent and make a choice is addressed in future chapters by the main characters. As for Quinn's reasoning and mindset, it's a long way from where we are at the start of the story, but I hope that a scene in the middle of Only Consenting Adults gives some insight. If it's successful or not, I guess you'll be the judge.

I find it disgusting that you think you know how to write about a D/s relationship when you obviously have no clue regarding respect and what is agreed upon versus what is straight up abuse. It is supposed to be give and take instead of someone just doing whatever they want to someone else. Simply put, it is an agreement which you obviously know nothing about. How pathetic and sad.

Here's a genuine offer... if after the next few chapters you still feel the same, maybe write your version of how you think the story should have gone and post a ref to your story here. I promise not to delete yr story link. I might also learn something.

Superior writing, pacing, visualization of the scenes. This author has undertaken to explore the Psych of Submission from the POV of one who resists it, and, without being physically overcome, yields to it. If that's your task, do it fearlessly. This author has. I could quibble about the intensity of certain story choices made, but I prefer to suspend my disbelief in favor of that *fearlessness.

Plus, I'm hooked on wanting to know how we got here.

....Oh, and it's Hot ;)

Terrible substitute for a genuine, loving D/S relationship.

Doms don't ever break promises, even implied ones.

They don't lie.

They don't disrespect.

Wish I could give it a -10.

What would possess a man to subject himself to this

That bitch is a mess and hubby's even worse. If I had made the mistake of letting a woman cage me, the first chance I had to steal the key, it would come off. The line is her sadistic twisting of the rules and pretty intense mind fucking. That's not love.

So good i read it twice hehe.

Love the change of fortunes and suspense as he's wheeled in... nicely written x

that was a great story and a 5 star blockbuster

Djeez, that was hot. Well written, believable if pretty extreme, unlike most extreme stories. I’d almost wished this would happen to me, perhaps there’s a crevice in my brain that does wants something similar to happen to me... scary thought...

The writing was good but it was a bad idea to start at the end I won't read anymore Alena is an evil bitch there's no way she loves him. I might have felt differently if the store built up to that moment but throwing the reader in at the deep end is a turn off

I just wish I could write stories half as good.

Great story. Great writing. Bravo.

I’ve read several of your series. This one I’m not sure I’ll give it a couple of chapters but it doesn’t look promising.

Non stop cruelty isn’t erotic, it’s just sadism and misandry. The greatest insult is when the sadist tells her victim that she loves him. No one who loves their partner could coldly, callously and with malice torture their partner both physically and psychologically.

I really hope he goes home, takes a baseball bat out of a cupboard and beats her to death.

Superior work.

The intensity of this relationship may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I think the author has an understanding of this lifestyle and how a scene could play out where limits are tested, but also respected.

This story is exceptional. As a work of fiction, particularly when it comes to erotica, I anticipate some implausable interactions or unbelievable scenes of fantasy, but having been to some pretty popular public play spaces (back in the day), nothing I read in this first installment tests credulity. For that reason I'm going to savor this series all the more.

I'm now a fan of this author and I've only just begun.

Excellent story. Well plotted, and very satisfying read.

Nice premise.

Could have used some direct teasing of his cock and balls beyond the electrical stimulation rod inserted in his urethra.

His orgasm left much to be desired.

Could have used some direct teasing during the car ride home before he went back into the cock cage.

Could have used some explanation by her of exactly how it felt to her while watching him being degraded.

Could have used some description of the different pussies he tongued, and how their owners reacted to the tonguing. Maybe some directions of how they wanted him to proceed.

And, by the way, the correct spelling is FOCUSED, WITH ONE "S".

Four stars.