All Comments on 'Aliens Ch. 07B'

I like it so far but my only two suggestions is maybe focus more on what the characters are thinking, allow us to connect with the characters as they struggle with their new identity. Also, less direct dialogue I think would be good. Everyone likes a sexual yell but why not just write they moan or grunt? I think that would make the story better.

Keep your character names consistent. It's difficult enough to keep up with everything going on without having to figure out which character you're referring to.