All is Fair Ch. 01

N-Not that-! Uh, ya know, AUDREY w-wasn't like that! Not at all! I mean-!

S-She was CARING, alright? Why else would she buy so many... vapid- er, uh, thoughtful! GIFTS! For her...

Ugh

It's just... Josh had always heard that young love was... wonderful. All the smiling and doting couples around him. On TV, online, at school... Bliss. A bliss he'd never got to feel since he was always so... himself. It wasn't until you were older, when you had known each other and heard each other's stories and for so long and grown so old, that it started to slow down. Josh was still new to all this. It wasn't like Audrey had suddenly flipped a switch from being the attractive, exciting girl he'd met almost a year ago into some... bratty, mean spirited bossy little- Er

Maybe this was why Josh decided to ask his Dad for advice on their drive to the Filmore Family Christmas Party.

"Dad... what was it like when... you and mom were dating?" he asked

"Wha-What?" Mr Spiringsteen reacted. He was jumpy behind the wheel. His eyes were darting from his son to the road at a mile a minute "Wha-What do you mea-? HEY!" Josh's father furiously laid on the horn at another driver "EYES ON THE ROAD, BUH-BUDDY!" he stuttered. He quickly fell back into his anxious seat, and to his normally reserved position.

"I'm, I'm sorry, eh... Wha-What was the question again?" he meekly repeated. He nervously rubbed his moustache.

This was how Mr Springsteen usually was. First impressions, like the one at last year's New Year's Banquet, might've led one to believe that he was a rambunctious drunk, a loud mouthed extrovert. But those that knew him knew better. He was small-presenced, skittish. Mild-mannered and quiet. He held some sort of managerial position at Filmore Foods, but he wasn't the type to naturally schmooze his way up the ranks. It was only the booze that gave him any sort of charisma. But, of course, he had a tendency to overdo it. Right now, among other things, Josh was hoping his father would control himself tonight.

"You and Mom" Josh repeated "Were things... 'nice', when you were dating?"

"Huh? Oh! O-Oh yeah, totally! Me and your Mom, oh, I'll tell ya-! We were quite a pair of..."

He also had a tendency to ramble a lot, particularly when he was nervous

Josh clearly inherited a lot of things from him, most notably his height. The pair stood close to around six foot each, and equally slim (though Josh's father was a bit fuller, as all older men tend to get). Both had messy brown hair, both wore glasses; and both tried to not assert their presence if they could. If not for the noticeable age difference, it'd be somewhat difficult to tell them apart. Josh certainly took a lot after his father in the genetics department, which only made his vision of what his mother was like more unclear.

"...Ah-And then! Me and her guh-got around the bend with our bike! And the old guy, he-!"

"So you were... happy? Together?" Josh pressed

"Wuh-Well of course! A-And she-! She would've been so pruh-proud of you if...! If she- Eh..."

* * * * *

Josh's dad honked his horn.

"Juh-JEEZ, ya think these people never seen, eh, ICE on the road before! Heh..."

They didn't talk about her much

Mr Springsteen cleared his throat and tried to divert the subject

"What's, uh, uh, brought this on? You been thinkin about her lately?" he asked

Josh shifted in his seat

"Well no, it's... really not about her. It's, uh-" he cleared his throat "It's about... me and Audr-"

His father perked up

"OH! You and HER! AUDREY! Sh-She's-! Eh- How's she doing? How are YOU TWO doin? Getting along good... still? Still got that young, uh, FIRE for each other? Heh!"

No one had been happier to see the two wind up together than Josh's father. Of course, why wouldn't he be happy his son was dating the daughter of a major food magnate? Of the very same company where he happened to work?

"Well that's the thing, uh..." Josh shifted again "I don't know if... things are really going that well between us-"

"WHAT?!"

Josh's father nearly swerved off the road.

Josh held on for dear life, until his Dad had managed to regain control.

"I-I mean... you uh, got a little Tr-Trouble in P-Paradise there, Ch-Champ?" he meeked out.

Josh knew it was awkward to talk about this stuff, and how sensitive his father could be, but he felt like this was something he needed to say.

"I don't know, I just feel like... she doesn't respect me- er, t-that... I don't- w-we don't-" if only he could articulate what had been building in him for the past year. Maybe he should've thought about this a little long. His father, meanwhile, drove even stiffer than before.

"...Like when we're out together! Anywhere, really... I feel like a, a SERVANT to her, almost, not a boyfriend. Driving her places, carrying her stuff-"

"AH, WELL-!" Josh's father lept on this "Ca-Carryin things is, uh, j-just part and parcel of havin a girl, ya know?! I'll tell ya- I-I can't even TELL YOU how many bags your MOM made me carry when, wh-when WE were dating!"

"Well, Dad, it's... more than that, it's-"

He shifted gears again

"I'll tell ya what YOU need; you need to uh, st-start liftin weights! Hit the gym! Put a little MUSCLE on those bones, eh?" Mr Springsteen countered

His father wasn't listening to him, when Josh needed him most to

"No, Dad, I-"

"You think Trelawny from Accounting gets invited to the Filmore house for Christmas?!" he suddenly snapped "Or-! Or, or, uh... um-" Josh's father fell back into his usual sputtering

Josh loved his father, and he knew that he loved him too.

But he also knew just exactly why he'd gotten so excited when he told him that he and Audrey were dating. The gripes about his position he'd overhear at home, the little gift he'd made him bring to the New Year's party; The blatant ass-kissing that he'd personally witnessed at least a few times now. It was something that didn't need to be said, because Josh already knew his father's stance on his and Audrey's relationship.

It was great, right?

Mr Springsteen sighed

"Look, son; I remember you always complaining about how you never had a girl, how you felt alone... Isn't this what you wanted? I-I mean, not that you couldn't score another girl! I mean, you're an attractive guy! You just...!"

Josh knew what he meant. It was a feeling he'd internalized years ago, but was only recently starting to bubble up again. He exhaled a defeated sigh and hunched over. A multitude of passing city lights shone through the car window and ran over him.

"I mean, uh, A-Audrey's a nice girl! She's pretty, she's young, she's outgoing... y-you know! All couples have their problems, and you work 'em out! But I... I think she's been a real good influence on you! You're getting out more, and, and..."

His father didn't really know where else to take it, so he stopped trying to

"Look, sometimes you just... need to stick with it. For... Integrity's sake! It'll get better! Take it from me, it's a lot better to have something than to lose it!" he tried to reassure.

He was right.

Without Audrey Josh'd just be right back where he started. He hadn't grown as a person, hadn't developed. Didn't miraculously turn into being like everyone else overnight. He was still the same old him.

Timid

Underconfident

Weak

He'd just go back to being the same old loser he was before

God...

But... e-enough about that! Don't go hanging yourself on a cross, right? This type of self-obsession isn't healthy. It's Christmas for fuck's sake! Just focus on the now!

...Iffff only the now was any better. Ugh

Josh anxiously tapped his foot on the car floor. The sun was almost down, and he did NOT want to be late to this party. Josh hadn't expected traffic to be this bad on Christmas Day, much less evening. But he imagined that the past week's snow had something to do with it. Winter in Marksborough was usually pretty mild, not getting too chilly till around mid March or February. But a cold front had pushed a few snow clouds their way, and ended up giving the city a White Christmas. It was a spectacle, but Josh was too preoccupied with other matters.

Like the gift rumbling in his hand. The little one marked "Audrey" that he carefully picked out. Thinking of the crowds of relatives and friends that he'd have to greet and wade through. His own gift, and whether his Dad would get drunk and make a fool out of himself again.

Those sorts of things.

God, can this ride just end already?

...The Filmore House wasn't exactly a "Mansion" Mansion. It was quite large, certainly. Very imposing. And nice. Certainly nicer than him and his father's apartment. Actually maybe it was a "Mansion" Mansion, Josh thought. Audrey's friends' houses were nowhere near as large, or had things like a fountain or a security perimeter with guys working it and letting people in and out around the clock.

"Uh, Spruh-Springsteen?" his father squeaked

A guy in sunglasses (at night) scanned down at a clipboard. He seemed skeptical, at least until he saw the other passenger.

"Oh, hey Josh. Yeah you're clear to enter" he said, waving them through

Well in any case, Josh was glad that there was valet parking, otherwise they'd have never found a parking spot.

"Duh-Don't-! Uh, mess with the... seat please" his father instructed. They were at the front door. A group of people passed by them, all well dressed and important looking. Josh felt a message down on his phone. It was from Audrey, angrily asking where he was. Josh just straightened his tie and sighed. He prayed his dad would stay sober tonight.

The interior was certainly a lovely compliment to the outside. Ornate, spacious, beautiful. It was warm, and it felt warm, with people scattered everywhere. Chatting, talking, drinking. Dresses, suits, furs and cozy jackets all complimenting the wreaths other decorations spread down the luxurious central Hall. And with a few hired hands to keep control of it all. Josh had been amazed the first time he visited, and he in many ways was still in awe of it. Josh's Father was certainly starstruck.

Josh meanwhile still felt anxious. Intimidated, almost. Of course, the crowd of (The Filmores') friends and family probably had something to do with it. Audrey was by no means one to blend in with a crowd like this, but with how little she was Josh didn't know how-

"THERE you are!" he heard from a distinct spoiled voice.

Oh, apparently he wouldn't have to

Audrey approached him from the side. She was, as always, impeccably dressed. A cool, christmas colored little lolita dress hugging her tiny frame, pushing out what dainty curves they could. And an all too familiar bratty scowl to go along with it.

"Oh, hey babe. Merry Christma-"

"Yeah whatever, come on!" she said, impatiently yanking him by his hand to follow behind her. At least she wasn't yelling

Josh could see his father give a goofy wave and thumbs up as he was dragged away. As he got further from him, he saw a waiter with a tray come up and offer his father a drink, which he graciously accepted and chugged down. Josh just cringed and shook his head. His feelings of anxiety just bubbled up hotter as he followed behind.

Please, God...

The room Audrey led him to was quaint, if a bit more crowded than the last. A grand set of old furniture surrounded by and sat on by relatives of all sizes, young and old. A vibrant fire at the center wall illuminated them all, its warmth reflecting off the balls and other baubles on the magnificent Filmore Christmas tree. Josh's one at home was a simple little plastic one, but this one could easily dwarf the Truck he had arrived in. That's how it felt at least. The giant stack of presents underneath didn't help underplay its size.

"Um, babe? Where do you want-?"

Audrey took his gift, her gift, and callously tossed it into the pile "We're opening presents later, now come on! My aunt Rina's waiting!" she hissed

It wasn't like Josh had a choice in the matter, he just did his best to follow behind the little bleach blonde headed girl in front of him. He noticed a few of her roots starting to show. Audrey changed her hair color in and out like any other accessory. When Josh first met her it was red, but a few months in it was black. Right now it was Blonde, but it'd probably be red again before the New Year was in. She tended to gravitate toward that color.

"Aunt Reenie, this is Josh" she said in a sweeter tone. Josh was thrust in front of an older, caked up woman with wrinkles. For some reason, despite her age, she was showing off her splotched up shoulders. Josh felt uncomfortable

"Oh, you must be my Grand-Niece's boyfriend!" she gurbled out. She smelled like old perfume and Alka Seltzer, but Josh still met her hand.

"I-It's a... pleasure to meet you, M'am" he said, reluctantly shaking it. It was old and oily with moisturizer, and it only heightened Josh's discomfort. The running, screaming kids nearby just made it worse.

Next it was Great Uncle Matt

"Oh, you must be-"

Fat Cousin Lawrence and his wife

"So you're the guy that my little cousin's been-"

Nina and Kirsten, the identical twin cousins twice removed

"Hello" "Hello" they said simultaneously

Aunt Julie, who had an eating disorder

"Oh, you need to put a few POUNDS on, son..."

Josh strained to keep his smile going, he felt Audrey's hands come off of him, but he was still greeting relatives.

Next was some chick with frizzy hair and a beanie. She looked like a stoner.

"Yooo, what's happenin man?" she greeted.

Josh wasn't sure, but he thought this was Cousin Leslie? According to Audrey she still lived with her parents, and was basically a burnt out pothead who made cash on the side... doing something with computers?

"Ah, well, y-you know" Josh stammered. His suit was really starting to make him feel hot at this point.

"You look a little stressed, man. You want some...?" she pulled out a little baggie full of green buds. Josh was quick to refuse

"O-Oh! Uh, no thanks, I don't-"

"Ah come on mannn, it's cool, it'll be legal soon " Leslie insisted

"No really, I-I-"

Thankfully she didn't press the matter

"Aw, whatever man, I get it. Tell Audrey I can hook her up though" she said with little finger guns.

"Y-Yeah, will do!" Josh sputtered. He was already half-way from him when-

Leslie kept talking "Yeah... might be awhile though, I gotta get that shit coded for the commission..."

Josh stopped still for a second and turned around

"...Did you say something about coding?" he asked

"Hm? Oh yeah, I'm a freelance programmer. These dudes up in Washington want me to patch up their Network system. Kinda runnin behind..." She admitted

For once since he'd gotten there, Josh felt some sort of genuine interest in what someone else was saying.

"I've, uh, actually done a few coding classes at my college. Don't know if I wanna get into it as a career, but..."

"Oh yeah? No shit" Audrey's cousin commented.

Before long the two were having an actual conversation. About coding and computers and shit. Nothing too deep or serious, but it was a nice reprieve from the other bullshit conversations with Audrey's other relatives. Cousin Leslie was actually pretty cool.

"...Nah but recently I've been getting into modding; You know, on video games? Been messing around with uhh... Europa Universalis lately?"

Josh perked up "Ah man, really? You play EU4?"

Josh had put nearly over a thousand hours into that game. It was a nifty little strategy game that took place through the Early Modern Era, and it was part of what turned him into such a history nerd. Er, buff.

Leslie nodded "Yeah. Not really into the whole history shit but it's pretty fun minmaxing little dudes like Ulm into being superpowers"

Josh laughed "Ha! I uh, actually did an ironman run of them where I conquered Europe and colonized Australia..."

This made Leslie chuckle "Pfft, fuckin Ulm Australia? That's cursed man, Jesus Christ"

This started the two of them laughing together. It felt good to make someone else laugh. Audrey's sense of humor was still a little arcane, so Josh hadn't done it in awhile.

"Aha Ha! Ha..."

He had calmed down, but Leslie was still giggling. Bobbing her head and smiling like a doofus. Josh figured she might've been high, but it didn't really make a difference. Her laugh sounded nice, it was... soothing. She'd clearly only been wearing a dress out of obligation, but it looked pretty good on her. Watching her chest rise and fall. It... didn't look like she was wearing a bra either. Somewhere along the line, Josh's suit jacket had come off. He hadn't realized how close he was sitting to her. In this light, she was... kind of pretty, heh.

* * * * *

Uh

Josh cleared his throat

"W-Well anyway, um- Hm?" he felt a tug at his sleeve.

It was Audrey. Somewhere along the line she had entered the picture.

"Um, Sweetie? Miranda and Chase are here. I wanna go say hi" she said

"Oh, well..." Josh was pretty comfortable, and for once was actually enjoying himself "...You can go on ahead. I'll be there in a minute" he said

Clearly he'd forgotten who he was talking to.

"So that game was fun, but another one that I did was- OW!"

Audrey had him by the ear again, pulling him up off the couch

"Ow, Ow, Ow!" he grunted. Her nails were nearly digging into him. The situation and his reaction bought chuckles from some of Audrey's family members, including Leslie.

"Pfft, haha!"

They all seemed to find it very amusing.

"HA! They're like an old married couple, heh heh!"

Audrey all the while just stood put, pulling his ear like it was a tissue off the ground and rolling her eyes, until finally Josh acquiesced and got up. She had his coat waiting for him, and he stiffly grabbed it from her before being dragged off, yet again, to somewhere else. If the sheer act alone wasn't painful enough, the continuing laughter on the way out just made his humiliation burn deeper. And to add his grief, as they passed another hallway Josh saw his father in a crowd, downing another drink.

Josh grunted.

Audrey's grip was tight, and she wasn't saying a word. Just silently passing past crowds and through corridors with him in tow. He knew Audrey was a, uh, "social butterfly" with lots of friends and all. And that when you're together with someone, you're kind of one social unit and all, but...

God, did she REALLY need to keep her grip like this?! He's not slow, he can follow just fine! She only ever got like this when she was-

Oh god, no wonder.

She's jealous.

Ugch...

Josh knew how Audrey could get. Can't even talk to another girl without her getting all territorial and irritated. This isn't the first time it's happened either. He had no doubt that if there weren't so many people around that she'd be chewing into him, asking all sorts of questions and accusing him. That's how it usually went down at least.