All is Fair Ch. 01

For what?

To be called a scrawny loser in front of her entire family? Her friends?

To treat the gift he'd worked SO... F-FUCKING... hard for... and just...

Brush it off like it was nothing

"Is this it?"

Yeah! IT IS IT you f-fucking-!

Josh stifled himself. The anger just made it worse. He didn't want to be angry at her. He didn't want to feel these things. He wanted to be a good boyfriend. To think nothing but the best of the girl in his life. Feel like he was walking on air while he was around her.

But he didn't. He didn't feel like that at all, and he hadn't for awhile. He felt like an animal all caged up, made to dance like an idiot.

But hey, maybe it was his fault

I-I mean, what- would any of THOSE GUYS in there be acting like this? Like a... wimpy fucking loser crying over his girlfriend? NO! They'd... work out or something, I dunno.

Guess that's what Audrey wants. All that shit about big buff jerk-offs like that guy at the mall was just bullshit, he guessed. I mean, w-why not? What the HELL was he even doing here?! God, if he just told his dad to F-FUCK OFF a year ago, then...!

Josh exhaled. Tears were pooling in his eyes, but he didn't dare let one drop.

The cold December air was chilly, but it wasn't enough to cool him down. He felt simultaneously hot and cold. And the discomfort of it all just made the pain worse.

...A whole year, and that was what she got him? With all her money, her resources, f-fucking whatever;

A gym membership

He wasn't expecting anything nice or whatever, a watch maybe. That's not why he started dating her! But...

They'd agreed that their christmas gift would also count as their anniversary, since it was so close together. That's what was really fucking him up. He'd wanted to add something referencing that in the engraving, but he couldn't afford it. He knew the bracelet wasn't the fanciest thing he could find, but he thought the diamond would at least make up for it. It looked so nice at the jewellers...

This was what she got him?

And that little remark she made about it! T-That joke or whatever; What, she'd think it was funny? She thinks it was FUNNY to call her boyfriend's ass scrawny in front of her entire extended family and friends?! That's not funny! It's not! Couples are supposed to care for eachother, he'd- he would NEVER-!

Oh god, he sounded like a GIRL!

Just suck it up Josh. Just... suck it the f-fuck up you pussy...

...Guess he's gonna start "getting in shape" now. As if work, school, and Audrey weren't fucking stressful enough now's he gonna start making time for killing himself at the gym because GOD KNOWS she's gonna-!

Josh sucked in. He took a deep breath

It's good for you. It's... GOOD for you

Audrey is just... looking after his health. He knows he's not fit like all the other guys she could have. She's just trying to help him be better. Can't... blame a girl for wanting THAT for her man! And sure, we could all be a little more in shape. Josh was skinny, sure. Not unhealthily skinny, but... he could stand to get some definition, right? A little more meat on him?

He's always been that twiggy tree branch of the group. Always insecure of how thin his wrists were, or how weak he must look whenever he tried to lift something. Audrey... certainly has her standards, after all. And why shouldn't he try to live up to them? I mean, a bean sprout like him couldn't protect her with his... soft legs and... bony arms. There's no reason he shouldn't do this for himself too, right?

So it's... good. Yeah, it's good, sure; Whatever...

Josh sighed.

...After all, it's clear he's not satisfying her in his current state. Why not try to improve? For her sake, if not his. It's not like he has an alternative. What, BREAK UP with Audrey Filmore? Find someone else? Someone caring, loving? Supportive, friendly... kind? Let his dad down, break his girl's heart all so he can go back to being the nerdy, girlfriendless LOSER he was before? Over a little exercise? Yeah right...

It's not like Josh could find another girl if he wanted to anyway.

He'd do anything for Audrey.

Like he said, he was lucky.

He was the luckiest guy in the whole wide world...

Josh wiped a tear off his cheek. He took a sharp inhale and tried to suck everything back in. A strong, cold wind hit him from the side.

Joshua just endured, as strong he could.