All Comments on 'All We Knew Ch. 02'

by HunterShambles

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  • 5 Comments
lemonheadslemonheadsabout 9 years ago

I really like this story. Please continue it. Please also keep Chris and Julie exclusive to each other, to have them get involved with the other sibling couple would ruin the whole story, it always does. You have written the beginnings of an epic love story for Chris and Julie. Keep up the good work and Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Advice from a Wellwisher.

Hi HunterShambles,

Hope you are fit and fine. I just want to tell you that I became a big fan of your work. This story has so much potential that you can use it to take this story to hall of fame.

This story have emotions, realistic touch, love, romance etc and every element a good story should have.

But this second chapter is spiralling it downward to a fuckfest and sharing. In love there is sharing of every element of life with our partner not with others. This story is yours and only you can do whatever you want to do with it. I am a professional writer and also knows that an author have to do what readers want him to do.

This story could have got so much better if you have not included another couple and not to have them double dating. Kevin and Julie kissing in front of Chris is falling the story apart from being realistic. Chris should be angry with Kevin and should have beaten the shit out of Kevin. Its obvious that if a person loves somebody then he will want to have his lover exclusively for him.

But Chris ignored it. This is indicating that Chris doesn't love his sister that much. Another thing is that Chris deesn't showed that much interest in Jane like kissing.

This indicating that there is a doubt in Chris's mind. Also there is one thing that Julie is very much interested and attracted towards Kevin. This indicating that Julie doesn't love her brother that much. So there are some loopholes in this chapter.

I am totally loved the first one and looked forward for the next. I am a little bit disturbed and begging you to change this chapter.

I know that writing is not so easy work but for readers please take my advice.

As for me for anonymously messaging you is that I am not allowed to register on this site because of my profession in writing and I am a little bit famous. So I can't show you my identity but please give some thought to my advice and change this chapter. This story is very romantic and heart touching.

Thank you

Wellwisher.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Very good

This story has been very good so far but please keep it between Julie and Chris.

HunterShamblesHunterShamblesabout 9 years agoAuthor
Thanks for all your suggestions

Just keep the faith, there is more to come, I have had this story mapped out for a while now and I hope you like the way it goes.

ChasBChasBabout 9 years ago
Hmmm?

Agree with others that it would be better to keep Jules and Chris together, and find a way for Jane and Kevin to get it on; but if they start cross dating, and not always doubles, there are going to be temptations.... Hmmm?

Anonymous
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