All Comments on 'Alone in the Country Ch. 02'

nicely written. Great twist at the end, good revenge, financial, physical and upcoming child support as well. Heroin seems like something else, special and strong. Looking forward to the next chapter.

When I read the first part of this story for the first time I enjoyed it. It wasn't until the second time reading that I noticed how little care had been taken in the writing. The same problem shows up in this part. Do you ever read back what you've written before you post it? Switching POVs, jumbled sentences and contradictions in plot doesn't make for good reading, even when the idea is a good one.

Don't know if the malapropism was intentional or not. After all, it was uttered by one of the rednecks. "Corroborate" and "collaborate" have nothing in common. Happens a lot on this site. Also, "There he was a bit smaller, but only by a bit, putting him about one inch in girth". If you look up "girth" you'll find it to be a synonym of circumference. A girth of one inch is less than the thickness of a pencil (ask your grade seven kid). There's a lot of that math on this site as well. Hard to find good writing (though it does exist) and simple correct math on Literotica. But then, this is murrica - with the best "edumenication" system in the world, as claimed!