Alternate Mob Myths Ch. 01

I first published a version of this story in celebrities and fan fiction. While there was nothing technically wrong with that version, I believe this form is better. It also contains some new information, and fits best in the loving wives category.

Mob Myths I: Brooklyn 1935: Another date for my wife.

These stories are a possible history told in the reverse of the Elliott Roosevelt model; the main characters are fictional, but the side characters are historical. In this series, Moe and Sadie Bernstein are fictional. Actual mob members include Arnold Rothstein, Meyer Lansky, "Lucky" Luciano, Benny "Bugsy" Siegel, and "Dutch" Schultz. I have tried to at no point to have a plot point contradict known history, but where the history is disputed or unknown, I feel free to give my own possibility.

Moe Bernstein was impeccably dressed as usual. He was immediately escorted to his favorite table. He was respected in the neighborhood. He had just been in a meeting with his boss, Dutch, discussing how to keep his firm at the top of its field, and of course how to increase profits. The Church Avenue Deli was his Monday date with his wife, Sadie. Sadie arrived 15 minutes late as usual. She turned every male head in the restaurant as usual. He ordered his regular, brisket on rye. Sadie had a Jewish hush puppy. That's a frank encased in a knish rather than a roll. She also had her favorite noodle pudding.

"How did you spend your day, Sadie?"

"I visited my brother, Willie, at the Winter Garden theater. He is understudy to that handsome Brian Thurber, and hopefully will get on stage some time. They gave me the insider tour of the theater. Brian showed me all the nooks and crannies."

"And what did you do with Brian Thurber in the nooks."

"It was very proper, Willie was with us all the time."

"Great, the best chaperone I can get is Willie. I know that place. I once invested in a play there. Springtime for somebody. I will never do that again."

"Did you know that Brian and we have a mutual acquaintance. John Anderson, who used to work for you. He acted together with Brian in a couple of movies. He told Brian I was the prettiest girl in Brooklyn."

"He's right about that. Queens also."

"That doesn't get me much. There are more people buried in Queens than are alive."

"Okay, all of Long Island."

"I like that, you included the Gold Coast. How about Manhattan? Do you think I can't complete with the models?"

"The models are too scary looking. However, I know some escorts."

"Oh great, I can't complete with hookers."

"Did you just visit your brother or did Brian ask to meet you?"

"Well, actually Brian wanted to see me. He was really nice. He gave me a free ticket to Sunday's matinee."

"Only one free ticket, husbands are not invited. Is that all he wanted?"

"He has a suite at the St. George Hotel. You know the one with the big indoor pool. He invited me for a swim and dinner after Sunday's show."

"Sadie Sadie married lady, what did you say to that?"

"I said I would pack a swimsuit. He said it wasn't necessary, he had one that would fit me."

"Did he offer to put it on you?"

"He was only kidding, he knew that wouldn't be proper."

"Sadie I have something for you to do. Tell Willie two things. First, he better know his lines and cues, because he will be on stage soon, and we don't want a repeat of the last disaster. Second, this is the last date you will accept to get him on stage. By the way, did you tell Brian the name of my firm?"

"Of course not, I wouldn't have a date if I did. I needed the date to ensure you had incentive to do what you do best professionally. Willie really needs to get on stage. Anyway, your firm doesn't have a name."

"Strange, we're the most respected in our field. We sometimes make the papers. They have a name for us, Murder Incorporated.

Note: There was an actual employee of Murder Incorporated, who left his "safe" secure position in Brooklyn for risky movie possibilities. Fitting this story we will call him Jacob Gerson.

I, Moe, will continue the narrative.

Tommy didn't do anything wrong that I knew of. However, our Atlantic City customer, Nucky, hated Tommy and was willing to pay our rates for pest control. This job would move me up in the "corporation." So Tommy, his pal and colleague, Jacob Gerson, and I were taking a joyride in the Jersey woods.

We provided lots of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Tommy's favorite. So Tommy was half in the bag, and seriously needing a stop. We shut down the engine. I claimed a similar need for a nature stop and followed Tommy. I did the job. Tommy wasn't making the return trip. But when I got back to the car, Jacob was gone. I returned to our corporate office and was confronted by my boss, Dutch.

"Your job was Tommy. Jacob was a useful employee. Don't expect to be paid double."

"Wait a second Boss. I only did Tommy. Jacob just disappeared."

My wife, Sadie, learned from Jacob's ex-girlfriend that while I was doing my job, Jacob realized that he, or any of us, could be next. He started running west. When he hit the closest town, he continued west on a train. He kept going west on trains until he reached the Pacific. His first job on the coast was as an extra in Hollywood. He is now called John Anderson, and his first featured role was playing a criminal. They said he wasn't authentic, and should watch George Raft.