Always Wondered: Had They Fucked?

I had always wondered if they'd been intimate, but I was never sure.  Of course, I am aware that at one time she considered him her closest friend, her best buddy.   There was a time, I knew, they were practically inseparable.  It just stands to reason that they have been intimate, that they had fucked, but I was not self-assured enough to ask her.  Would she just blow me off, or would it make her angry that I asked?  I wasn't sure.

I had watched them together and they seemed to be so very relaxed and comfortable around one another, like dear friends, which they never denied.  So I asked myself would it matter?   If I found they had slept together would I be able to handle that?  I could say it is just in the past, but then I would wonder if it was really only in the past.  Whether they were still being intimate.  So, if it wasn't in the past, if they were still having sex, would it matter to me?   

I was pretty sure it would.  Being a pretty normally insecure kind of guy, I am fairly sure it would bother me a lot.  I know I get pretty jealous if a good looking guy even looks at her approvingly.  I know sex isn't the most important thing in life, we all tell ourselves that, but I also know that it would bother me a great deal if my wife was having sex with another man.  I fight against feeling possessive and thinking I own her, but insecurity rules most the time and it's a losing battle.  I don't own her but I'd like to, I guess.

When I finally told her about my worries, she just smiled, said I had to let go of my possessiveness.  "You have to learn not to feel jealous," she said.  When I asked how I did that, she grinned again and said I needed to be trained not to think sex was the only measure of fidelity.

"Just like a dog needs obedience training, you need to practice not feeling jealous," she said.  "We can help you.  Like riding a bike, you need to keep getting back on until you don't fall off anymore.   You need to practice not feeling jealous.  You can only do that by testing yourself.

Jake and I can help you," she said.  "Practice makes perfect."

She took my hand.  "You like porn, right?  Jake and I will make love and you'll watch us.  Think of it as porn, erotic videos.  Learn to enjoy watching your wife receiving sexual pleasure.  You want me to enjoy myself, right?  You aren't so selfish you don't want me to have a good time, correct?  So we will help you get over your insecurity."

"So you've had sex with Jake?" I asked.

"That is not important," she said.  "The important thing is for you to learn not to be resentful and jealous. It only would be sex, not love.  You want to stop being jealous don't you?  You have to think of it as giving me something, not me taking something from you.

Of course, I did want to stop feeling jealous.  I wanted to be secure enough that the worry didn't eat me up inside.  I couldn't argue against that.  I thought about her porn analogy.  She was right.  I saw sex between other people as just entertainment, recreation of sort.  Perhaps if I could just see her sex with someone else as just performance, entertainment, then perhaps I would not worry about her being with someone else.  Maybe I could see it as just her pleasure.

I told her that night that I would try.  We made love and it was good, loving, gentle sex.  She gave me what I needed, what I wanted, and I vowed to try to let go of my possessiveness.  I did want to stop worrying about whether she was intimate with someone else.  I did want to let go of the feelings I had of possessing her, of owning her, of being the only one she could enjoy herself with.  

I was willing to try. I pledged to do all I could to stop fretting about the possibility of her being unfaithful.  I began thinking of her being able to enjoy herself sexually without me.   I began to imagine porn scenarios and put her in sexual situations. Gradually, I began to enjoy them, to be able to picture her having sex without ill feelings and hostility.  I was practicing, as she said.  I was letting go of the idea that she was only mine to have sex with.

I began to think of her with Jake, to picture them together and even masturbate to images of them.  It was working.  I began to think of actually agreeing to watch them, to accept them as a couple and acquiescing to their legitimate right to enjoy one another sexually.  The more I thought about it the more excited I got about the possibility.      

She asked me one night if I was thinking about it and I told her I was.  I explained about what I had done, about her porn analogy, my picturing them together, and about how excited I had become.  She listened, nodded, and smiled.

"That's good," she said.  "And you're thinking about it as pleasure, not infidelity?"  I nodded.  "Then maybe you're ready," she said.  "Maybe it's time."   I nodded.  "Jake and I have been having sex since before we were married," she said.  "But it is just sex, just recreation, not love."

Her announcement didn't tear me apart.  I had, by that time, known it was coming and it didn't destroy me.  "I guess I knew that," I said.  "I'd like to watch you.  I think I am ready."

"You want to practice letting go?  You want to learn how not to feel jealous?" she asked, leaning forward and kissing me tenderly.  It was a wonderful kiss and it communicated love and caring.  I held her and thought about what she'd said.  It didn't bother me anymore that she and Jake had been having sex.  As I looked at her and smiled with my arms around her waist, I knew she loved me, that it had just been sex, and that I could handle her being with Jake.

"Are you sure?" she said.  I hugged her and nodded.  "He's coming on Saturday," she said.  "He'll be here for dinner, then we'll soak in the hot tub, then we'll see."  As I held her I thought about seeing them together, watching them make love, seeing his penis slipping into her.  

"I thought maybe you had," I said.  "At first I didn't think I could handle it, but after what you said I thought about that.   What you said made sense.  He is a good friend.  If you are going to enjoy someone, it is good it is with a friend.  I am excited about seeing the two of you together.  I am grateful that you are willing to let me share it with you and watch.  When he comes, how do you want to do it?"

"We will have dinner.  We'll soak in the hot tub, then I would like some time with him first," she said.  "I'll call you in after a few minutes.   At first, I'd like you to just watch.   After awhile, maybe you can participate, if you want."

"I'd like that," I said.  We kissed and stood holding one another for a long time.   "I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," she said.  "I am fond of Jake.  I like having sex with him, but I love you.  I chose to be with you.  I don't own you, either," she said.  "You are free to enjoy anyone you choose.  Really.  It has to be fair.   Is there anyone you might like to be with?"

"You," I said, "but I will think about it.  Yes, I can see if we are opening things up, it has to be opened fairly."  She nodded.  "You have some suggestions?"

"I thought of Carly," she said.  "She and Marcus are pretty liberal.  It has to be from a couple that are open to such a thing.   Carly likes you.  I think she has the hots for you.  She has wanted to sleep with you for a long time," my wife said.  

When Jake came we met him at the door and she kissed him, as she had casually for years.  He came in we shook hands and sat in the family room like we had for years.  Dinner went just like it always did when we were together.  Nothing said we were about to engage in something totally new, something totally different than we had ever done before.  

After dinner, we cleared the table, then left the dishes in the sink.   We went out to the hot tub, took off our clothes, and got in.  They sat together and kissed.  We chatted, like nothing was different.  Afterwards we got out of the tub, dressed, and went into the house,  

Claire then went over to Jake and took him by the arm.   She turned to me.  "I will call you in a few minutes," she said.  They turned and she led him to the bedroom, closed the door, and I went into the family room and turned on the game.   When my cell phone went off a few minutes later I saw the call was from Claire.  

I knocked on the door and she said to come in.  I thought they would have started already, but when I entered I saw that they sat on the edge of the best, both dressed.  I sat in the chair in the corner and crossed my legs.  Claire stood and turned to Jake, holding her arms out at her sides in front of him.  He then began undressing her slowly, taking off an item at a time, kissing the spot he had just uncovered.  

First he took off her blouse, then helped her out of her skirt.  She stood for him and he removed her bra, slipped her panties down her legs, and let them fall to her feet.  When she was nude he put his arms around her and pulled her to him.   As they kissed I got a shot of adrenalin.  He put his arms around her and put each hand on her bare bottom, lifting her up, then he pulled her tight against him and they kissed again.   

It was one of the most exciting kisses I had ever seen.  After a few minutes they moved to the bed and as if they'd done it a hundred times before he helped her down and crawled between her open thighs when she laid back and held her hands out to him. 

Jake lowered himself between her open thighs and positioned his erection at her splayed and pink pussy lips that waited for him.  In one motion, Jake pushed into her and slid deep into my wife as she moaned quietly and spread her knees for him, pushing her hips up to meet his body, forcing him deeper into her pussy.   I was fascinated by the sight of his cock disappearing between her labia and deep into her.  She put her hands on each of his buttocks and pulled him to her, matching the cadence of his thrusts.

As they fucked their lips came together in a kiss that lasted until they each needed a breath and parted.   Claire put out her tongue and Jake took it into his mouth, sucking on her tongue like a tiny cock as it reached out for him.  

"Fuck her good," I said aloud.  She seemed to hear me and nodded, smiling as he pushed repeatedly into her and she increased the speed of her hip action.  The sound of their bodies slapping together echoed around our bedroom, and I nodded at the wonder of watching my wife being fucked by my friend and her good fuck-buddy.   

After she came with great intensity, he moved down her body and placed his mouth at her splayed pussy, putting his lips over her pink petals.  She put out her hand and held him away until the sensitivity lessened and she then let him back to her slit to lick and suck on her sex again.  

She moved her legs as far apart as they would go and lifted her knees, giving him total access to her pussy, begging him by the gesture to continue sucking her as he had been.  She looked over at me and smiled, put both hands on his head and held him against her.   

"Oh, yes, eat my pussy, baby, eat me good.   Yes, yes, yes," she cooed. "Do you like seeing him eat your wife?" she asked me as he ate her, looking over at me from across the room.

"Oh, god, yes," I said.  "Eat that pussy good.  Eat her until she comes in your mouth.  Drink her pussy juice down," I said louder than I intended.  Jake just nodded at my comment, and Claire raised a hand and spread her fingers, telling me he was doing just that.

When I had watched for nearly an hour, I got up left the room, giving them time together that they may want.  "Oh, god, you were good," I told her after Jake left.  "You were so right.  This was porn at its finest," I said.   "I don't think I have ever been more aroused in my life.  You were beautiful."

"I am glad I was able to help," she said with a grin.  I had come back in the bedroom and crawled on the bed with my naked wife.  "I hope it was as good for you as it was for me," I said.  She gave me a smile that said it certainly was.  

"So, you don't mind your wife fucking your friend?" she asked as she snuggled up against me.

"I thought I would," I said honestly.  "But after we talked, it began to seem and feel different.  I thought it would kill me.   I thought just knowing you were having sex with someone else would destroy me," I said.   "But seeing it, made it okay.  Watching you, actually, was fantastic."

"So you going to see Carly, or someone else?" she asked.  

I shook my head, shrugged, then said I didn't need to.  "It is not about need," she said.  "It's about pleasure, sex, and not being owned, being able to receive pleasure from others.  Just know you can.  You decide, not me.  Just know you can fuck whoever you want if you choose to." 

We cuddled, made love, then we both went to sleep.  In the morning we repeated the process and I asked her when she was seeing Jake again.  "Saturday," she said with a smile.  "Want to watch?"  I told her this time I would watch the Laker game. 

I have watched Jake and Claire three times over the years since that first time, and they are now celebrating their twentieth year of having sex.  She and I have been married for eighteen years, so they have been intimate for longer than we have.  I thought that would be a problem, but it's not.  They're together again tonight.  I never did get with Carly, although her husband and I have talked about it.  They know about Claire and Jake, and they know I have watched.  Bill, Carly's husband, thinks it sounds great.  I have never really been interested, although knowing I can probably is enough.  We'll see.