AMA - The Divorcee: Day 09

"Tell me about it then." You encourage her.

"You really wanna know?" Brooke asks, unsure of your intentions. Maybe curious if you actually care or just want to pass the time and just want to use it as a topic for conversation. You rub the side of her arm, ensuring her that you really are willing to listen to her vent her negativity about herself.

"Well, like you guessed, it started in high school. Typical overweight being bullied story you know? I don't want to get into the details of that since I've made my peace with it. I know I'm not that fat little girl anymore, but I also know I had to work so fucking hard to get rid of those negative voices in my head and turn them into motivation to never get back to that point again." Brooke starts, and you don't interrupt her as you want to just let her vent.

"Then I started professional wrestling school after college and it started all over again. The training you go through breaks you down physically. Especially during the start. They'll work you to the point of exhaustion a lot of times, and that's just to test your physical fitness too. When you're already doubting yourself physically if you can even be fit enough to be a professional wrestler, then they start training you the basics, and that's when they start breaking you down mentally. They berate you for every small mistake, make you feel like you'll never be a wrestler with how dumb you are at following simple instructions. They'll make you want to quit... because they do. They want you to quit, because only those who don't quit actually get to survive in the industry. The initial training is to test out how badly you want it, because if you don't, you might as well not waste anyone's time." Brooke explains her time at wrestling school.

"That was the easy part about professional wrestling school though. The hard part was when they started critiquing your look and character. They'll tell you that you have no ass, or no tits, or you have flab here or there, and your gear is going to look like shit on you if you don't 'fix' those issues. One creative dig I got back then was my coach telling me to just go to Mexico and be a luchador so I can at least hide my ugly ass face with a mask." Brooke says with a laugh. You really didn't find anything funny about it though, everything you're hearing just sounds like bullying.

"A part of me kept those things in the back of my head because I at least had a goal I was focused on. I had this excuse that what they were saying was just for me to toughen up, which I did. I never let those things break me, or I never took them personally. It was just a part of training. Sticks and stones, you know? But they were there, in the back of my mind. Words and insults that creep up at your lowest moments." Brooke admits before pausing to continue her story.

"Lowest moment came after I tried out for WWE, just to be a part of their developmental program. By that point, I've been an indy wrestler for a few years already. I thought I fixed everything that needed fixing. Got my ass looking good, got a boob job, dyed my hair blonde, put on some muscle, worked on my character, mic skills, in-ring skills, everything. I thought I did and had everything I needed to get a spot." Brooke says before taking a deep breath.

"Obviously, I didn't get it." Brooke continues, then takes a sip of her coffee. "I asked them if there was anything to improve for when I try out again for next year, and you know what they told me? They said 'look more like a model'." Brooke recounts, venom in her voice as she imitated the person who told her that heartbreaking advice.

"I was fucking gutted. I looked at the 'Divas' they had at that time and started comparing myself to them and a part of me was like, am I not pretty enough? I sure as hell was a better wrestler than most of them. Sorry, I know that sounds arrogant—" you take Brooke's hand, which stops her from apologizing about something she actually feels good about.

"So, yeah, I kinda lost my passion to be a wrestler after that. Shifted it into working out and nutrition since I got into that too when I started wrestling." Brooke finishes recounting her tough journey in the professional wrestling industry, how she made the transition into being a personal trainer; and most importantly, how it affected her outlook on herself.

"Thanks for telling me all of that Brooke, I'm sure it was tough to go through that pain again just by recounting it. But you can't keep beating yourself up over the opinions of bullies and assholes. You are beautiful. You don't need to be insecure about that anymore. More than that, you're a good person. You've motivated me to work out without having to bully me and make me feel like shit like your coaches did." You start trying to cheer her up. Brooke just half-smiles at your attempt to build her back up, but you can see in her eyes that there's still doubt there.

"Fuck, now I feel like I was fishing for that." Brooke says with a forced laugh. "To be fair though, it wasn't just my disappointment in wrestling. Remember when I said only those who don't quit survive in the industry? It was on me for quitting." Brooke says, going back to blaming herself, which is an all too familiar habit for you as well. You try to stop her from continuing, but she signals that she's fine and that you don't have to say anything.

"Don't worry, I've made my peace with that too. Like I said before, I had an excuse that all of that was to toughen me up so I could be prepared for the industry. If I quit then, it just meant it wasn't for me. If I kept grinding, maybe I would've gotten where I wanted to be. Especially now, when there's a lot more people who are appreciative of women's wrestling." Brooke adds.

"If I was being honest, what really brings out my insecurities is just my shit luck at relationships." Brooke says with a forced laugh. "Every time there's just something that fucks it up. I've been cheated on, ghosted, cheated on, straight up just been told they would like me better as a fuck buddy instead of a girlfriend, cheated on, turned out the guy was gay and I was being used as a beard... you get the idea. Shit luck. One of those 'cheated on' ones was by a woman too, so my shit luck spans both genders." Brooke says again with a forced laugh, you can clearly see it bothers her though.

"After some time, I just figured out it was me. Maybe I'm not cut out to be someone's girlfriend, like I wasn't cut out to be a wrestler. Maybe I don't look like a model enough for the people I fell for. Whatever the reason was, I'm not worth being loyal to. I'm not enough." Brooke continues.

...

"Fuck. I'm sorry, I have to go to the bathroom." Brooke says before abruptly standing to leave the table. You grab her by the hand to stop her from leaving.

"I... I know how that feels... To feel like you're not enough." you tell Brooke, who sits down again after you stopped her. "I went through that way of thinking when my ex-wife cheated on me too. Like I was partly to blame for her cheating on me. Tanya made me realize that even with everything I could provide, my ex-wife still wanted more... or maybe just someone else, or just something different. I don't know. I've thought I've done enough to make my ex-wife happy and content... apparently, I didn't. It was already too late before I realized it. Still, I blamed myself for it. I blamed myself for her actions. For her mistake." you go on to say, before taking a deep breath. You look at Brooke and she's listening intently, not wanting to interrupt you.

"It was Stella who told me that if I wanted to truly move on, it meant I had to stop unnecessarily blaming myself for the mistakes of another person. I'm still coping with that part. Bad habits die hard, you know? So I know this conversation isn't going to immediately change your mind, and make you immediately stop thinking you're not enough because the actions of other people made you think and feel that way for such a long time. I am saying this because it took other people telling me to stop and smell the roses to try and start coping in a more positive way. To look at silver linings from time to time." you tell her, again pausing to take a deep breath and gather enough courage before continuing.

"We are enough for other people, Brooke. Maybe it's them that just want too much." you finish telling her. Brooke is teary eyed, but she has an appreciative smile on her face.

"Thanks Jay. I-uh... I really needed that." Brooke says, before going for a hug. You return her hug and rub her back to comfort her further. As she breaks the hug from you, her hands linger on your shoulders as she stares you right in the eyes.

"I-uh... I still have to go to the bathroom. Be right back." Brooke says before standing abruptly once more and leaving the table for the bathroom.

Fuck. Great afternoon chat topic doofus.

Before you could go torture yourself with your own mental problems, you get a phone call from Cassie.

"Hey Jay, where're you and Brooke?"

"We're at a place called Café Digne on Worthy. You guys finished shopping?"

"Yeah. We'll meet—"

Cassie was cut off by someone grabbing the phone from her, from the sound of it.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, baby. It's me."

"Something happened."

CHAPTER 80.1

What happens next?

Chance Encounter

The following chapter is written in 3rd person POV, following Stella, Cassie, and Tanya.

"I don't know, it kinda looks like the one you wore during our night out already."

[Image: Stella Fitting Room Outfit 1]

Cassie informs Stella about the choice of dress she picked out to possibly wear for her date with Jay tomorrow. The three girls have been in multiple stores, helping Stella out in picking a dress for her date. Cassie and Tanya have looked around for things they liked as well, trying stuff on with Stella in the fitting rooms of stores they've been to.

"Yeah. That dress got me laid. What's your point?" Stella jokes.

"I'm willing to bet what got you laid was when you took off the dress." Cassie jokes back.

"He could've fucked me while I was wearing the dress, you don't know." Stella replies.

"And hide your body? Yeah, right." Cassie quips back.

"I know we've made out, but calm down 'Vivian'. Your lesbian is showing." Stella teases Cassie, making Cassie blush from the joke, remembering how much she actually liked making out with her best friend.

It was at this time that Tanya entered the common area of the fitting rooms with a few more options for Stella, and also some items for her and Cassie to try on. The girls went into their own stalls to change before all agreeing to come out at the same time to see each other's outfits when they were done changing.

"Everybody ready?" Tanya asks from inside her stall, and both Cassie and Stella shout out that they were. The three girls start counting down from three and after the count of one, exit their stalls to show off their outfits.

[Image: Cassie Fitting Room Outfit]

"That top looks so good on you Cass!" Stella reacts after seeing the very colorful and intricate top that Tanya picked out for Cassie.

"Yeah chica, that looks amazing on you. You should get that." Tanya encourages her.

"I just might. Jay could even fuck me while I'm still wearing it since it looks so good." Cassie jokes.

"You are such a horndog now, I can't believe it!" Stella says with an amused laugh at her best friend.

"Oh, you're one to talk. Getting horny for her Dad before it was normal." Cassie teases back, and this one makes Tanya laugh too.

"She got you there, sweetie." Tanya says laughing at Stella's expense.

"I got horny watching him with you, remember? Maybe I got horny watching you too?" Stella seductively asks Cassie.

"What?" Cassie asks, immediately blushing from Stella's question.

"HA! Busted. I made you hot and bothered thinking I was hot for you, didn't I?" Stella says with a laugh, and Cassie remains silent as she blushes even more. If she was being honest with herself, Cassie did find the idea of Stella being attracted to her hot.

"Ay chica, so what if you thought it was hot? You shouldn't be embarrassed about that. Especially after what we did last night and this morning." Tanya comforts the blushing Cassie who takes a deep breath.

"Or just face it Cass, you came at the queen and you couldn't keep up." Stella says before imitating a mic drop and making an exploding sound effect with her mouth.

"You know what, Tanya's right. I did find it hot, so what? And, bitch please..." Cassie says, finding the confidence to come at the 'queen' once more, with the 'bitch please' getting 'oohs' from both Stella and Tanya. "It takes two to swap cum." Cassie continues, and Tanya and Stella laugh at Cassie's fire. That was not the reaction Cassie intended, but she is happy that they find what she said amusing.

Stella suddenly turns around to look at the entrance of the fitting room to see if anybody else heard what they were talking about.

"That waitress from Viv's restaurant really got me paranoid about people popping up when we do sex talk." Stella jokes. "Okay, coast is clear." Stella says before turning around to address Cassie and Tanya again.

[Image: Stella Fitting Room Outfit 02]

"Anyway, what do you guys think? Yay or nay?" Stella asks for her co-girlfriends opinions on her outfit, which consisted of a tight deep-V long sleeve blouse and leather skirt.

"I think the earlier one looked better for a date. This still looks good though. You could go either way." Cassie gives her opinion.

"I agree with Cassie, the earlier black dress is better suited for a date. Although, that outfit does have a 'fuck me in the back alley outside' kind of vibe to it. So it depends on what you're going for." Tanya teases Stella.

"Wait! You picked these!" Stella laughs at the realization.

"I'm just trying to wingman you with your outfit." Tanya says with a wink.

"Oof. Now, I'm not sure which I prefer. On the one hand, you guys said the first one was better suited for a date. On the other, I would definitely want to tempt him to fuck me in a back alley. Decisions, decisions." Stella says, overly exaggerating her pondering of which dress to get, while Cassie and Tanya laugh at Stella's quandary.

"Let me distract you from your own personal Sophie's Choice by asking what you think about my dress? You guys like it?" Tanya asks both of them.

[Image: Tanya Fitting Room Outfit]

Cassie looks her up and down before saying, "I really wish I had your curves.", "Yeah, you make anything look good with that butt." Stella adds.

"I was asking for your opinions about the outfit... but still, muchas gracias." Tanya replies, amused at the adoration the two younger girls are giving her.

"You called out Brooke's obsession with butts earlier, but you're not so far off from her you know." Cassie points out to Stella.

"I wasn't calling her out, I was just happy to find someone with the same obsession." Stella half-jokes. "But... I mean, can you blame me?" Stella asks Cassie before pointing at Tanya's hips.

"Okay, that's enough about my butt. Outfit opinions now, please." Tanya tries to steer the conversation back into clothes.

"My dad's gonna have a conniption if I wear that, but when it's on you, it just looks natural. Like, of course you'd wear something like that, with the body you have." Stella comments, unintentionally praising Tanya's body once more.

"Not gonna lie, if either Stella or I wore that, which we can't since we can't fill it out like you do, it would've been the first outfit we would have commented on when we left our stalls; but on you, it just seems like a natural fit." Cassie continues to unintentionally praise Tanya instead of the dress, as well.

Tanya just rolls her eyes as the two girls can't seem to compliment the dress outside of complimenting her. She doesn't even know if she looks good in it or not, or if she just looks good, period. They just kept saying it looks natural on her. Tanya's outfit is a pretty tight bright lime green dress with a criss-cross halter top that shows a lot of torso and side boob, so Tanya's assuming that's what Stella meant when she said her dad might have a conniption. Then again, if that's true, Tanya wonders why Stella would pick between two outfits that show a lot of cleavage.

"Speaking of filling things out, I wonder what Dad was getting you that he messaged to ask for your jacket size." Stella asks Cassie.

"I'm assuming a jacket." Cassie answers, prompting Stella to poke her for teasing by being captain obvious.

"I meant what kind of jacket!... and why just you?" Stella asks, kind of jealous that Cassie was getting a gift from her Dad.

"Your papi probably already knows your size, sweetie. Don't read into it. You'll just stress yourself out." Tanya advises.

"If he only got Cassie something, we should be fine with that too. We're not supposed to compete with each other. We should support each other instead." Tanya continues.

"Trust me Stella, your Dad would never forget about you." Cassie encourages.

"Ugh. Now, I feel bad. He didn't ask Tanya's size either. What if we both get something but not Tanya?" Stella asks Cassie, which puts a sullen look on Tanya's face, realizing that that's also a possibility now.

"Hey you two, do you really think Jay's going to buy me something and not something for you guys as well?" Cassie asks.

"You are his first girlfriend among the three of us. It's possible." Tanya answers Cassie.

"You were the first girl he's been with since mom though, don't sell yourself short." Stella points out.

"And you're his daughter. Equal footing. All of us. If one of us gets a gift, while the others don't, we shouldn't read into it. He loves us all equally as girlfriends." Cassie assures Stella and Tanya, and it was in such an assured voice that Stella and Tanya rarely hear from Cassie that they know she was being genuine with the sentiment. Tanya gives Cassie a hug after hearing her words of encouragement.

"I'm beginning to love you now too, you know that? You're so..." Tanya starts saying after Cassie's pep talk, as she hugs Cassie even tighter, making the teenager smile at Tanya's show of affection; before pausing for a bit to think of the right word to describe Cassie.

"Awesome. I think that's the word you're looking for." Stella continues for Tanya before joining the two girls in a group hug.

The three of them giggle at how dumb they must look to outsiders, but they really wouldn't care what they'd think. Right now, they're just happy that they're all bonding and getting along like this, their fear of being jealous of one another be damned.

"Can the three of you move? Other people need to use the fitting rooms too."

The three girls stiffen as they hear the other person in the room speak. Not because she ruined the moment, or not even for having a condescending bitch of a tone when she said what she said. No. The girls stiffen in both anger and panic, because all three of them are familiar with that voice.

They break away from their hug, revealing their faces to the other woman who entered the fitting room after them; building anger rising in all three ladies' bodies.

"Baby." Diane says under her voice upon seeing her daughter Stella, surprise in her eyes at the coincidence of accidentally seeing her daughter in this fitting room after months of trying to contact her.

"Don't you fucking call me that. Ever. Again. You've lost that privilege." Stella tells her mom, with clenched fists and through gritted teeth, trying to control the anger inside of her. She wasn't kidding when she told Tanya she'd like to wring her mom's neck if she had the chance. The only thing stopping her is probably getting arrested for doing so.