AMA - The Divorcee: Day 11

CHAPTER 113.1

What happens next?

The Morning After

"Why is she so adamant to risk her future!?" you ask Tanya in frustration as you drive her to work. You waited to drop off Viv first before you felt it was safe to discuss the topic with Tanya. Viv was with the two of you earlier to carpool and she left her copies of Sunstone with you so Maddy can read it at your place when she drops by again.

You've been able to calm yourself down since last night, after finding out that your daughter led you to believe that the birth control pills she's been prescribed would already work. Thankfully, Tanya had a 'morning after' pill that she gave to Stella to at least lessen the risk.

"Plan B usually works, papi. Relax. She's going to be fine." Tanya tells you in a calming voice. "Plus, you realize that even if the birth control was already working like it should, it doesn't mean there's a hundred percent certainty of her not getting pregnant anyway. You've been taking that risk with all three of us, papi. Not just her." Tanya astutely reminds you.

You sigh. You consciously try to relax your muscles to calm yourself down. Tanya's right of course. You're overreacting. Thankfully, you didn't react too aggressively last night. Stella having grown up with you though, she knows you giving her the silent treatment meant you were a lot angrier than you were letting on.

"It's not just that, isn't it?" Tanya asks you, and you sigh again upon hearing her question. She's right. It's not that Stella took an unnecessary risk. Like Tanya said, every time you decide to cum inside them, there's still that tiny bit of risk there; birth control or not. You're angry at your daughter for an entirely different reason.

"She lied to me." you admit out loud, not really to Tanya, but to yourself. You don't like the fact your daughter hid it from you just so that she could feel that momentary rush of excitement she felt when you came inside her.

"Papi..." Tanya says in a comforting tone, rubbing the side of your arms as you drive. It prompts you to take her hand and hold it instead, showing her you're calm, and that you appreciate her support. "You're going to have to talk to her about it some more, for sure; but like I said, it's going to be fine." Tanya reassures you again.

"Look, you mentioned it before, but can I ask again why you're so afraid of Stella getting pregnant? You said you don't want to throw her future away, but the story behind that didn't really end up with Diane throwing anything away, if you ask me. Diane was still able to finish college and find a job. I'm sure Stella can do the same. It may not be on her athletic scholarship anymore, but she can still finish up her schooling later. You can afford to pay for her college tuition too. You can afford to raise another kid. What's so bad if Stella gets pregnant?" Tanya points out, before asking her question. "You know what, I'll ask it for me and Cassie too. What if we all get pregnant? Would that be so bad?" Tanya adds.

"Of course not." you immediately answer. "It's just..." you start saying, but you take your time to formulate what you're going to say. So Tanya continues it for you.

"It's scary, isn't it? That's not me speaking for you, by the way. I'm speaking for myself. Just the thought of me getting pregnant again kinda sent chills down my spine." Tanya admits. "I'm honestly afraid to be a mom again. At 38? Just after my mijas are finally done with college? I mean, Before we got together, my idea of the future was maybe a few more years of supporting my daughters a little while they got their careers together, then after that... I had a blank space for what I could do with my life." Tanya adds, before squeezing your hand tighter too. "All I know is, whatever I decide to fill that blank space with eventually, I want you to be a part of it." Tanya tells you sweetly, and you can't help but crack a smile after that.

"I want you in my life too, Tanya. Always." you tell her genuinely. Just like that, your frustrations with your daughter seem to not matter as much. You know you'll have to still talk to Stella about it, specifically her choice to lie to you, but Tanya made valid points. Maybe you've been overreacting to Stella possibly getting pregnant. You'll always want Stella, Cassie, and Tanya in your life now; so having children with them isn't going to weaken the possibility of that future, only strengthen it. Before you could contemplate it further, Tanya says something to grab your attention.

"I can't believe we're already talking about kids, and being together forever, and it's only been a week since we first hooked up. How crazy is that? That magic app of yours is really fucking amazing." Tanya observes jokingly.

"Why? Do you feel like it's going too fast?" you ask her.

"Fast? Papi, I'm almost 40, and I've never felt this way about someone before in my entire adult life. Ever. Not once. It's about goddamn time is what I feel." Tanya answers you in a mix of excitement and conviction, before kissing you on the cheek and rubbing the back of your hand with her thumb. "What about you? Are we going too fast? Are we pressuring you to add more girlfriends than you're ready for? Are we talking about forever too early?" Tanya asks in a rapid-fire way, but not in a panic or instigating, but almost excited for what you'd answer.

"No, no, and no to the last one too." you answer her with a smile, and you mirror what she's doing and rub the back of her hand with your thumb. "Speaking of the app, I guess this confirms your 100 point Love Score." you share with her.

"A week ago, I thought love was a lie and there are no good men out there. How wrong was I?" Tanya says in reaction. "Wait, that means you got points right? Is it enough to buy that polyamory trait that you said you wanted to buy?" Tanya asks.

"No. Not yet. I'm still a few points off. I was wondering about what you think about me buying that, actually. Do you think I still should? Everyone seems to be good with each other, and there doesn't seem to be a need for it anymore." you ask for her opinion.

"Well~" Tanya says, pondering the question. "If it was me, I'd still buy it for Maddy." Tanya surprisingly answers.

"Wait, what? What does Maddy have to do with this?" you ask her, surprised at her answer.

"Before I answer that, tell me first, what are her scores?" Tanya asks you back.

"Why does it matter?" you ask back, trying to avoid telling her Maddy's scores.

"That high, huh? In just one day too." Tanya laughs amused.

"Bit of an assumption don't you think?" you ask her defensively.

"Oh please, papi. You don't need a magic app to tell you I love you, the same way I don't need a magic app to know that kid is obviously infatuated with you." Tanya replies, and you don't really want to rebut that; so you concede her point.

"What does buying the polyamory trait have to do with Maddy then?" you go back to your original question.

"Think about it, papi. Her dad's paranoid as hell about his daughters being around boys. Convincing him to not be against you dating his daughter is a whole other thing entirely; but if you want him to even consider the idea of you dating his daughter even slightly, he's going to have to think that you having multiple girlfriends is just how the world works. Otherwise, I don't even think you can get your foot through the door without lying to him about us; something I assume you hate doing." Tanya points out, and you can't help but blow air through your nose, knowing she's probably right.

"You're only reacting like that because you know you'll have to address her feelings eventually. So, come on, papi. What's the damage? How in love with you is she?" Tanya teasingly asks you.

"I don't remember how 'in-love' she is. She does have romantic feelings for me somewhat, from what I remember. The thing that concerns me is she's really... how can I say this politely—" you try to answer, but Tany cuts you off when she realizes where your answer's going.

"She's really super horny for you, isn't she?" Tanya continues for you before laughing hard. "Fangirl wants to fuck her idol. What a cliché." Tanya jokes.

"I don't even know how she'd be that into me! It's not like my books are erotic! Even if they were, it should be my characters she likes right? Not me!" you tell Tanya your confusion with Maddy's feelings for you.

"Well, I'm not an artist, but I assume your art is in some way an extension of you, no? Maybe it's not just the characters or story she likes, but how you told it? The same way people might enjoy how the story was told, more than the story itself. Kinda like my fascination with Lin Manuel Miranda because he wrote Hamilton, but I don't give a shit about the actual Alexander Hamilton. Maybe that's why she likes you?" Tanya explains, and you can't help but be attracted to her even more.

"You really are wise, you know that?" you compliment her.

"Why the tone of surprise?" Tanya teases you, and you're reminded of your first night with her again, and it seems she is too as she starts chuckling at the memory too.

It wasn't long after that before you arrived at her office building and you had to say your goodbyes.

"Thanks for driving me to work, papi. I really appreciate it. You're going to have to pick me up too, though." Tanya tells you before giving you a sweet peck on the lips.

"Of course. It's no big deal. I enjoy spending time with you. I would've done it yesterday, but you woke up earlier than I did." you tell her.

"So this is going to be an everyday thing now?" Tanya asks you.

"If you want to." You reply, and she gives you an ecstatic hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you, Jay." she says, after kissing you on the cheek.

"Love you too, T." You tell her back.

Tanya goes down the car and off to her office's entrance, and you drive away, back to the apartment to your two other girlfriends. Hopefully, Stella's not too annoyed with you for giving her the silent treatment last night before you both went to bed.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment...

"Why the fuck are you in such a hurry to get pregnant and leave me behind!?"

CHAPTER 114.1

What happens next?

Mother Figures

The following chapter is written in 3rd person POV, following Cassie, and Stella.

At Jay's Apartment, while Jay was driving Tanya to work...

Cassie wakes up alone in Jay's bedroom. Jay, Stella, and Tanya were nowhere to be found. Cassie looks at the time and realizes she slept longer than usual. This isn't new to Cassie though. She's used to sleeping in when she smokes too much pot. Cassie gets up from bed, to see where Jay and Stella are, assuming that Tanya has probably already left for work.

Cassie goes to the kitchen and sees Stella eating some Frosted Flakes for breakfast.

"G'Morning." Cassie greets Stella.

"Morning, Cass. Want some cereal?" Stella asks back.

"Sure." Cassie answers, and Stella gets her a bowl and a spoon while Cassie sat down at the dining table. "Thanks. Where's 'sausage and eggs'?" Cassie jokingly asks.

"Oh, he wasn't here when I woke up either." Stella answers her, making Cassie check her phone if he messaged to say where he was going, but it seems Jay didn't.

"He didn't leave a note?" Cassie asks.

"Nope." Stella succinctly answers.

"Have you tried calling him?" Cassie asks right after.

"Nope." Stella succinctly answers again.

"Is he going to join us for our run later before we go to the sports center to practice?" Cassie asks.

"Probably not." Stella answers. Cassie's beginning to notice the pattern of Stella's answers, so she makes sure not to ask a 'Yes or No' question.

"How do you know he doesn't want to join us if you haven't talked to him yet?" Cassie asks.

"I just do." Stella, still finding a way to just answer in one or two words, raises the bowl to her lips and the milk that's left inside before licking her lips and standing up from the dining table.

"Are you angry with me? Did I do something to make you not want to talk?" Cassie asks concerned.

"No! Oh, sorry! No, no, no. I'm good. Just have a lot on my mind." Stella finally admits.

"Okay. Good. Want to tell me what those things are?" Cassie asks her friend, still concerned.

"I kinda didn't want to talk to you about it yet." Stella answers her honestly.

"Oh." Cassie reacts in disappointment, but also intrigued by what Stella might not want to talk to her about yet; since the two of them never shy away from sharing stuff with each other. "Well, you know I'm always here to lend a supportive ear." Cassie assures her best friend.

"Yeah, I know... but I'm pretty sure you won't side with me this time." Stella admits.

"I'm always on your side, Stella. You know that." Cassie reassures Stella.

"Even if the other side is my Dad?" Stella asks her, with a guilty look on her face.

"Huh? Okay, before I ask, I'll just say I'm on both your sides. Always. If the argument is between the two of you, I'll just remain impartial." Cassie tells her. "What'd I miss last night?" Cassie then asks before realizing something. "Oh shit! Did your date go badly?"

"No! Not at all. It was amazing. Dad took me to the boardwalk. It was like back when I was a kid, and we did all the stuff we used to do together; but he made sure that it didn't feel like a daddy-daughter date, but a boyfriend-girlfriend one. It was so well thought out! It was like... reframing our history together, you know? I had a ton of fun... Sorry. We had a ton of fun." Stella recounts.

"So the argument isn't about the date then?" Cassie tries to clarify.

"Well... it sorta is. We had sex in a cabin of the Atlantic Eye!" Stella admits giddily, making Cassie open her mouth in both surprise and amazement.

"No way! That was so risky!" Cassie reacts laughing. "Okay. Spill! How was it!?" Cassie asks, just as giddily as Stella was, already forgetting that they were supposed to be talking about what Stella and Jay are fighting about.

"It was so romantic! We had a time limit but we didn't care! We went slow. We made out. We couldn't stop touching each other. You know how amazing he is, so I don't need to explain it to you. It was so fucking good! I couldn't get enough. I thought the thrill of doing it in public would've added more to my excitement, but it was kinda secondary to be honest. I didn't even care. I was just so into it." Stella recounts to Cassie.

"That's amazing! I can't believe you could hold yourself back and not just ride on his dick!" Cassie says with a laugh. "It must've been hard to resist!" Cassie adds excitedly, knowing full well how hard it is to not just have the feeling of the warm and electric sensations that come off of Jay's cock when he fucks.

"You should try it slow with him some time! Just having him inside you. It builds up the warm feeling you have inside, and when he starts moving... HNNGGH! I swear, Cass! It's indescribable!" Stella recounts some more, making Cassie extremely jealous.

"Okay! I get it!" Cassie tells Stella with a laugh. "I'm going to jump him as soon as I see him now." Casse half jokes. "You want to watch us again?" Cassie then teases Stella.

"Yeah~ about that..." Stella says guiltily, reminding Cassie what they were talking about.

"Oh wait! I got distracted! How was the argument about the date if it was awesome?" Cassie laughs.

"Okay, this is the part where I feel you'll side with him since... Well, I'd side with him too actually. Hell, I already know it was such a dumb risk to take, but—" Stella started to preface, but Cassie already knew what she was going to say.

"You told him to cum inside you!?" Cassie reacts angrily, a complete one-eighty with how happy and giddy she was just a moment ago.

"I did! I know! It was a dumb risk to take!" Stella openly admits and is obviously apologetic and regretful.

"Why even take the risk then!? What for!?" Cassie asks with her voice getting louder, very much furious; making Stella's apologetic demeanor retreat as it's overcome by her never back down attitude.

"Hol' up! Why the fuck are you so angry about it!? It's not like you'll have to worry about it if I get pregnant!" Stella reacts, her voice getting louder now too.

"What do you mean I wouldn't worry about it!? You're my best friend! You're my boyfriend's daughter! You're my roommate! You're my teammate! What do you mean I wouldn't have to worry about it!? Of course I'd worry!" Cassie answers her.

"So!? You're still all those things if I get knocked up! I don't fucking understand what you're hassling me for." Stella points out.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME BEHIND!" Cassie finally shouts at the top of her lungs, making Stella immediately revert to apologetic. "Why the fuck are you in such a hurry to get pregnant and leave me behind?" Cassie continues, in a much quieter tone.

...

"You're going to leave me behind." Cassie repeats in a whisper, as she's beginning to tear up now.

Stella immediately goes beside her friend to hug her and comfort her.

...

"Hey~ The hell are you on about?" Stella asks her lightheartedly, and with a chuckle; trying to get Cassie to a much lighter place. "I'm never going to leave you behind, Cass. Not after we're back together again." Stella tells her.

"You will if you get knocked up! You'll stay here... with Jay... with Tanya... and Viv and Brooke too! While I'll be off alone in college and everybody else is here being sweet and being a family. Don't tell me that's not leaving me behind." Cassie tells her in tears.

"Okay! I get it. I'm sorry." Stella says, hugging Cassie tighter. "Relax. No one's leaving you alone." Stella assures her. "You're being such a drama queen though. I took a 'morning after' pill that Tanya gave me, you know?" Stella teases her, trying to lighten the mood. "What's this about? You're usually not this emotional." Stella asks her, concerned for her best friend.

"I've been worrying about it since yesterday to be honest. I had a feeling you were going to do it and risk it. You were so into it during the foursome that I knew it was still in the back of your mind... but I know that doesn't explain why I'm a mess right now. I've just been in my own head recently, I guess. Thinking about what would happen if you do get pregnant." Cassie admits, sniffling.

"A part of me's sure that you're going to either drop out or take a leave of absence to focus on being a mom, and I started thinking about if I'd want that for myself too... and it made me sick." Cassie continues to share.

"Sick? What do you mean?" Stella asks her, resting her head on Cassie's, trying to be as affectionate as possible with her friend who is obviously going through something.

"I don't want to be a mom. I don't know if I ever want to be." Cassie admits.

"Woah. Cass..." Stella reacts, rubbing Cassie's arm. "I didn't know you had such a strong opinion about that. Why do you hate the idea of motherhood... Oh." Stella began to ask but realized she already knew the answer Cassie would give her.

"Cass, you're not your mom. You are the farthest thing from your mom. You're the most caring and loving person I know! You're everything she isn't." Stella assures Cassie, and Cassie tears up again.

"It doesn't matter if I'm nothing like her. She's the only mother I ever knew. I'm not sure I'm even capable of being motherly. I don't even know what that is. I've never experienced it." Cassie opens up. Stella kisses the side of her forehead.