Amani Pt. 01

"Miss him already?" he teased, pulling out and thrusting back in slowly, like he had all the time in the world.

"I just—right there—don't want to come between you two."

His fingers grazed my nipple, circling my areola torturously slow. "You're right where you're supposed to be, Amani."

As I gave myself over to this man and all the feelings and sensations he stirred within me, I knew he was right. And that was terrifying.

Chapter Four: Coming to Jesus

One day and two nights. That's how long we fucked.

Dominic's presumption had actually been practicality as we moved from one surface to another, devouring each other. We were insatiable in a way that truly bordered on insanity.

Not once, but twice, I'd woken up in the bath, one of their cocks inside me as they bathed me. It was intense. We slept in fits and bursts. I dripped their cum constantly. I was swollen and tender and needy and desperate all the time.

"I have to go," I said for what felt like the dozenth time, feeling Dominic lazily drill my ass as Alex came back into the room from the bathroom and knelt on the bed beside my head. I'd learned their sexual quirks over the last 48-hours. How Dominic liked to sleep with his cock inside someone. How Alex preferred to sleep with his head on someone's chest. How I loved being woken up with a tongue on my clit.

Addicted. After the first night, my phone had become a distant memory, acknowledged only once to text friends and family an "I'm safe but I'll be away from my phone" message, silence it, and put it on airplane mode. Lord knows I'd missed the ladies' brunch, the young adult's night at M Bar, and the family picnic at Allatoona.

"Don't go," Alex whispered, tilting my chin up and taking his hard cock in hand to trace my lips. "Stay." He pushed forward and my eyes slid closed as I took him in and felt the slide of him against my tongue. "Here."

"With us," Dominic added beside my ear, fingers strumming my clit perfectly, better than any long-term boyfriend ever could. These men knew my body so intimately, it didn't feel like my own anymore; it felt like an extension of theirs, just like theirs was for me.

I didn't have to think about hooking my leg over Dominic's thigh and spreading myself wider, dragging Alex closer with a needy hand on his hip. Didn't spare a thought as I gripped his ass and begged him to fuck my throat, letting my fingers slide around to his tight little hole, still slick with Dominic's cum. It felt right to press into him, swallow him to the root, feel him shiver, feel Dominic buck into me aggressively, teeth sinking into my shoulder. We felt right together.

"I have to," I gasped, pulling away from Alex to catch my breath. "This is the last time."

Dominic laughed at my back, three fingers deep inside my pussy with his tongue doing something insanely distracting to my ear. "Really? That's not what this needy cunt is telling me. This isn't the last time, babe. Not for any of us."

"Watch your mouth," I said without any real heat. If Alex was needy, Dom was filthy, demanding more from the both of us.

"Open," Alex grunted above me and I glared as I opened my mouth comically wide and stuck out my tongue. He smirked and shallowly thrust, before digging his fingers into my nape, holding me still, and giving me everything.

"You know I'm right, Amani," Dominic whispered, and damn if his voice couldn't seduce a priest. "We're not just fucking anymore. You feel it. Right here," he thrust harder, taking every inch of my ass. "We belong together."

I stopped playing with Alex's hole and made him take two fingers, glancing up to find him watching me suck him down. One way to shut Dominic up was to focus on Alex, because then Dominic focused on Alex.

"That's not going to work this time, Amani," he groaned, biting hard into my shoulder. "Say you'll stay."

Three fingers and Alex went wild, eyes all out of focus, cheeks flushed. How this man could look blissed out on my fingers one minute and wreck my pussy in the next was still a mystery to me. "No."

"T-Too much," Alex gasped, pulling out of my mouth and gripping the base of his cock roughly.

"Say it," Dominic demanded, thrusting into me harder. "Say it and I'll let you both come."

My lips twitched, eyes moving to focus on Alex's strung up balls. Looked painful. It would be so easy to lean forward, run my tongue up his shaft and back down again. Make him cum. But I knew Dominic wouldn't let that happen. I hadn't been wrong about the man's alpha-male presence, but that didn't mean I just accepted it. He earned it with me—every inch. I didn't submit willingly and he reveled in that.

"I don't need your permission," I growled, not moving forward even though I wanted to. Just because I could lick Alex, didn't mean I would.

"But you want it," he whispered silkily as Alex's moans increased, his grip on himself turning punishing. It was unbelievably heady—the power I had over these men. "You want me just like I want you, just like we want Alex. We're all the same, Amani. We need each other."

Goddamn but I hated that he was right. Hated that he knew me so well, after only 48-hours, to know what I needed. These men with all their sexy fuckery. This was an overly long one night stand, a memory I'll recount fondly as I ride my bland-ass husband to a mediocre orgasm, keeping quiet so our 2.5 kids don't hear.

My mind was betraying me, the idyllic life I'd always wanted shifting to include two men as in love with each other as they'd be with me. That couldn't happen, not really. But it was nice in the moment—this moment.

"I—" the words caught in my throat, the lie sticking. What does it matter if the words are fake? They're said between sheets and those never count anyway, right? So why am I hesitating?

"Say. It." Dominic's hand moved up from between my legs, wet fingers curling around my throat, applying the slightest pressure.

Alex caught my eyes, expression wide open. "Say it, Amani."

"I'm yours, you bastards!" I screamed, coming violently, fingers digging into Alex's prostate and forcing him to come along with me as he finally let his hand fly over his cock, his cum shooting out and coating my face and Dominic's fingers.

I barely felt Dominic cum. My mind separated from my body, limbs dissolving into a puddle, and I was out.

***

Waking up with these men was an event, a feat of disentangling clinging limbs. But I somehow managed to pull away without waking them. That wasn't saying much though. My legs shook horrible, every single muscle screaming at the abuse they'd taken. My skin felt highly sensitive, my breasts, thighs, and everything in between swollen and used.

Biting my bottom lip to keep back the whimpers, I spied my dress on the floor and snatched it up and slowly made my way from the room. I didn't even bother with the underwear as I tugged the dress on. Why did I think bodycon was a good idea? The material irritated my skin, the whole look meant to mold and constrain. I should have gone with a sundress, airy and light.

I caught the neon clock on the microwave, groaning at the time: four in the morning. It was early enough that not many people would be around, but not early enough that my mother wouldn't be up. Snatching my purse and stuffing my feet in my flats, I hightailed it out of the hotel suite.

So I'm running away. Who cares? They knew what this was. "Sure, Amani. Sure."

God I didn't even believe myself. Fun had flown out the window early on into the encounter and what I'd had with Alex and Dominic bordered on spiritual. I stumbled in and out of the elevator, trying to walk a straight line through the hotel lobby to the front desk. "Could you order me a cab?"

The woman behind the front desk looked me up and down. "Should I... um, would you like me to also call the police?"

Oh God. "No, no, no. It was, um, consensual." I grimaced at the words because what the hell conversation was I having right now? "Just a cab, please."

She nodded and made the call. I caught myself in the conveniently hung mirror behind the front desk. "Jesus," I muttered under my breath. I somehow looked a step past ridden hard and put up wet, if that was even possible.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the cab arrived and I could melt into the dark, cool backseat as he drove me back to my parent's house. I contemplated the conversation I was about to have with my parents. No matter how I spun it, it didn't look pretty.

Thirty minutes later we pulled up to the cheery yellow farmhouse in my parent's slice of Americanah. It'd been their retirement, a little hobby farm with a few animals, green house, and tiny lake. They'd taken one look at the property five years ago and snatched it up.

The lights were on, of course. They had a private road, with sensors that told them if any cars were coming up. I wasn't exactly surprised to see both my parents on the porch, but I was already over their attitudes.

"Thanks," I mumbled, paying the driver before I gingerly exited the cab.

"Where have you been?" my father started before I'd even shut the car door. "Do you know how worried we were? Your mother was about to call the police!"

"I sent a text," I said, coming up the porch.

"Two days ago!"

"We've gone longer without talking, Daddy."

"Don't take that tone with me, Amani Rose." Ooh, full name.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say," I sighed, beyond exhausted.

My mother gasped as she caught sight of me. "Jesus, Amani, what happened to you?"

Just got fucked within an inch of my life by two men. "Nothin', Mama."

My daddy came forward, gripping my chin and turning it this way and that. "Who did this to you? I'll kill 'em."

"Oh my God!" I swatted his hand away. "I'm fine. Nothing happened!"

"Those marks aren't nothing," Mama denied vehemently, forcing me to recall a memory I'd rather forget. We belong together.

Lord, I needed to get out of this state and back to my normal life. "I—I gotta go," I said urgently, practically running in the door and up the stairs.

My parents were hot on my heels. "Tell us what happened," Daddy demanded.

If my laugh was a touch hysterical, I chose to ignore it. "Nothing happened."

I pulled my suitcase from the closet, and began opening the dresser drawers and grabbing my clothes.

"What are you doing, Amani?" Mama asked, stepping more fully into the room.

"I need to get out of here."

"You need us to help you."

"Stop it, Jay!" Mama snapped at him before turning back to me. "Baby, it's late. You can't just leave."

"Mama, I just—" I didn't know how to explain it but the desire to run gnawed at me. "I have to go."

"Baby," Mama said gently, prying the t-shirt from my tightly clenched hands. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I met—"

I glanced at my daddy before looking away, but my mama was too attuned not to notice. "Jay, can you go make some coffee?"

My daddy opened his mouth, refusal shining in his eyes, but whatever he saw on my mama's face shut it down. "I'll make a pot."

"Thank you, dear." My mama led me to the bed, gesturing for me to sit down. "Talk to me, Amani."

"It's not exactly parent friendly."

"Well I'm no fool to think those are mosquito bites, girl," Mama teased, nudging my shoulder. "So you had some fun. You're young! It's normal. But this reaction here isn't."

I shrugged helplessly, unable to put into words what was going on inside me. "It was fun. Or, well, it was supposed to be. Then it got... serious. It got real in a way I wasn't prepared for."

She hummed thoughtfully and I took it as encouragement. "We just clicked. Puzzle pieces fitting perfectly." I stood up, arms crossing over my chest as I paced. "And that's not normal. It doesn't make sense that I feel so comfortable with them after only a couple days."

"Them?"

Oh shit. I'd messed up. Open-minded my mother might be, but I didn't think she was quite ready to hear about anything more then straight, P-in-the-V missionary sex.

"Him," I rushed to cover up, but her face said the damage was done and I bit my tongue to keep from spilling more.

"Well," she began slowly, smoothing the front of her blue striped robe. "What you like is what you like. Whatever happened between you and—" She paused, looking up and holding my gaze steadily. "Whatever happened happened. But what you're doing right now seems a lot like running away and that's not the girl I raised."

"I'm not running away, I'm just..."

Mama raised a brow, expression calling bullshit.

"It was intense and it still feels intense." I struggled to describe what was going on inside my body and my head. "It still feels... unfinished. But it's gotta be finished because I don't know where it would go if it wasn't. And it can't go anywhere!"

"Why not?"

"Mama, look at me." I gestured to my body. "I don't get to have White people options, you know that. And this would be a very White person option. I just... I want to be normal, average."

"Baby," my mama said, not unkindly, catching my shoulders and stilling me. "You were not named Amani to be normal or average. You connect people, bring peace. If I wanted someone basic I would have named you Ann or Jane."

I laughed softly, covertly wiping the tears from my eyes. Her hand was there, finishing the job. "I trust you, Amani. So trust yourself. Be yourself."

I drew my hand up, clutching at my mother's wrist. "Thank you, Mama."

Chapter Five

Even though I loved my mama—understood everything she said—I still ran. And yes, I knew I was running, but that didn't change anything. I may have been named for peace but that only came after a war. No way I was getting dragged into one of those.

I hit the road just before sun up, freshly showered and dressed in a pair of leggings and a light-weight sweater. Might be hot in Atlanta, but it was freezing in Baltimore. The sun rose steadily in the sky as I bopped along to song after song, striving to ignore the ever-growing pit in my stomach.

When my phone rang, I was too busy trying to distract myself to even check the number. "Hello?"

"Why'd you leave, Amani?" a voice I'd heard only hours before rumbled through my sound system, wrapping around me with metaphysical arms. I felt that voice like a physical thing and my reaction worried me bad enough to pull over. Too much too fast.

"How did you get my number, Dominic?"

"I texted myself from your phone," he said casually like this wasn't unbelievably creepy. "Why did you leave?"

"It was a one night stand. The night ended."

His laugh was humorless. "Come back, Amani."

And boy didn't that just sound all kinds of right. "No."

"Don't do this, Amani," Alex cut in, voice pleading. "Trust me."

"Is that a threat?" I seethed, fingers clutching the steering wheel. "We had fun. I left. Let it go."

"I meant what I said, Amani," Dominic growled into the speaker, voice laced with something dark and foreboding. "Every word."

I cut the call and blocked their number. Was it a little overkill? Maybe. But I needed space. Nothing was making sense, not my reactions to them or theirs to me. I might have been a one night stand novice, but even I knew that this wasn't how it went down.

Tears flooded my eyes, spilling over. "What the hell is happening?" I screamed, beating my fists against the steering wheel. "This is insane!"

I wanted to go back to them desperately, could feel a pull behind me that felt so real I was surprised there wasn't an actual rope wrapped around my wrist. Scrubbing at my face, I put on my signal and carefully merged with the traffic. I drove for hours, not stopping to take a break as I'd done before. The sun danced across the sky, but I didn't pull over until my bladder threatened to burst. A mom and pop dinner shined in the darkness off the highway with the promise of homemade pancakes.

"Pull it together," I told myself, moving into the parking lot. "Pull it the fuck together."

Grabbing my coat to keep the mountain chill away, I walked into the diner. A bell chimed overhead, and a cheery voice called from somewhere behind the formica counter. "Take a seat wherever you like, hun. I'll be there in a jiffy."

It smelled like cinnamon and grease, and my stomach lurched. Ugh, how many hours had it been since I'd eaten? I vaguely remembered shoving a protein bar in my mouth as I left my parents, but that was it.

"No problem. I'm going to use the restroom real quick then take a seat."

"Whatever you like, hun. Door's straight back. First one on the right."

Rushing to the bathroom, I did my business before coming back out and sliding into a booth. I looked out at my tiny car in the desolate parking lot, watching highway traffic stream just a half mile beyond, a soothing distraction to my frayed nerves. I felt on edge, teetering on a precipice I didn't even remember approaching.

"Here ya are," the waitress said brightly, passing a laminated menu to me. It had all the hallmarks of mid-western fair and I barely spared it a glance before saying, "Can I get a short stack, two eggs scrambled, side-a bacon, and a large orange juice."

She didn't bat an eye. "'Course you can. Anything else?"

I shook my head no even as my mouth opened to ask, "Do you have apple pie?"

"Sure do. And I can make it into an alamode?" she added with a wink.

"I'd love that. Thank you."

"Coming right up," she smiled, before turning away.

The doorbell rang as I turned my attention toward the window again, noticing the expensive SUV parked beside my car. Looks new.

"Take a seat wherever you like," the waitress called in that same cheery voice.

I didn't pay a lick of attention to the newcomers until one slid in next to me and the other across. This is not happening. I tried to deny the reflection in the window, the feeling of familiarity beside me. No way is this happening.

"You shouldn't have run, Amani," Alex said quietly from my right, arm stretching across the back of the booth, fingers gently brushing my shoulders.

Dominic's voice cut like a knife. "But you already knew that, didn't you, baby?"

I turned toward these men and they looked nothing like that first night. It was like a mask had dropped and I was seeing them for the first time, darker, grittier.

"Who are you?" my voice shook, but I couldn't help it. It wasn't from fear, because despite everything, I didn't fear these men. I craved them desperately. My voice shook because it took everything inside me not to launch myself at them.

"I told you before," Dom said almost gently, "we're yours and you're ours."

"Who. The. Fuck. Are. You."

"We're your present, baby," Alex cooed beside me. What was happening? "And we're your future."