America's Watching

Although my time in our family house was coming to an abrupt end, I found the thought of spending even one more night in our bed to be repulsive. Instead I fell asleep on the couch. I awoke at three in the morning to use the bathroom only to find myself covered with a blanket. My daughter must have checked on me at some point and covered her old dear old dad. She still loved me and was looking out for me and boy did I need that.

When I returned to the couch after my nocturnal relief, I sat there for a while thinking just how much I was going to miss Lynn when she goes to college in Maine this year, but at least I didn't shed a tear over it. Couldn't if I tried. I was all cried out for the time being.

######

The network show returned the next night and it just so happened to be the last night that Jake was house leader. I obviously didn't give a rat's ass about the game, who was winning or who was leaving with the exception of three people. Even then the damage was done, but I found it impossible not to watch. In that respect I guess I was as bad as the rest of America.

About a half hour into the show the host Katy Ross gathers the players into the 'America's Watching' living room where she'll ask the houseguests a few questions.

She started with Sherry and asked her if she felt any guilt putting herself in compromising positions with certain young men on the show. As she begins to giggle, Jake puts his arm around her as she explains that she and her husband discussed the possibility that something like this might happen and that he was good with it just as long as it stayed on the show and that she would return to being his faithful wife once more upon her return.

The host then asked if that meant she and her husband had an open marriage and she giggled once more and replied, "I guess you could call it that."

Back at home, Lynn, who was lying on the floor watching with network version with me turned and asked, "Dad?"

Unable to speak I just shook my head and stared at the screen in anger and disbelief as my formerly faithful wife continued the assault on my heart.

Lynn turned back to the TV satisfied that the unspoken response meant that her mother was lying and that I would never agree to such a thing. We realized that her mother was caught up in the hype and the excitement of the show. Even while others spoke of their families to the point that their eyes were filled with tears, her mother's response was not nearly as heartfelt. She didn't speak of her family much and when she did it was almost as if it was scripted and speaking about some generic family other than her own.

Lynn would later tell me that she could see the way her mother looked lovingly into Jake's eyes and it filled her with both shock and disgust. Her heart was breaking and she couldn't even begin to imagine just how distraught I was. She would say she wanted to turn and look at me to make sure I was okay, but was afraid what she might find.

After a few more minutes, a few sniffles followed by a couple of sobs she got up and left the room. She was only too aware that her world; actually her family's world had just changed forever and that nothing would ever be the same. She knew that her mother, her incredibly stupid and selfish mother was solely to blame.

Despite having arguments with her mother in the past over inconsequential things, this week was the first time she ever thought of her as a bitch.

I was already dead inside and Lynn knew it though we were both aware there was nothing she or anyone else could do about it.

Then there was the cable feed that same night. Like I said it was Jake's last night as "house leader" and his own room. Using baseball terms I was looking fastball when fate decided to throw me a big old nasty breaking ball. The fast ball I was expecting would have been bad enough, but the breaking ball broke and broke hard and what it broke was my will to live.

Jake and Harley work out a deal. If Harley promised to not put up Jake for eviction, he'd help Harley get together with the once faithful and loving suburban housewife that had become his plaything in the house.

Jake says he's going to go lay down for a while and glances at Sherry with a smirk on his face which is an obvious invitation to join him. She waits for a few minutes before standing up and going into the house saying she too is tired. This moved did not fool the few remaining players who all looked at each other and continued to call her a slut behind her back.

She climbed the stairs and slowly opened the door, but what she didn't realize in the dark room is that Harley is the one waiting for her in Jake's bed.

Again it happened quickly.

This time there was no foreplay and in matter of seconds they were going at it hot and heavy under the covers. She finally realized that it wasn't Jake, however by that time she was in the throes of ecstasy and instead of asking Harley to stop, she begged him to keep going telling him that it felt so good.

Soon it was over, but not soon enough. They were both breathless as they lay trying to gain their composure. If Sherry was upset by the switch Jake and Harley pulled off she didn't show it. In fact she looked quite satisfied with the turn of events.

I heard the glass breaking and instantly thought that Lynn had thrown and broke something up in her room, but looking over at the liquid running down the living room wall I realized that I had thrown my glass against the wall. In case you're curious, mine was a straight fastball thrown out of pure frustration.

######

Two nights later on the network feed

Some guy is voted off, but then, who really cares?

Then it was time for some competition in the backyard or whatever the hell they call it. Sherry wins some game answering more inane questions than the others. Sherry is to be 'house leader' for the week. No need for the contingency plans we had arranged with the network, it was on to plan A.

After a commercial break the host welcomes America back to the show. The group of six is sitting around the living room when Sherry is told she is allowed a letter from home.

I couldn't believe how excited she was and it actually seemed genuine. Why she was excited I couldn't say. After everything she'd been through on the show and even her two affairs before you would think having to read a letter from her dull husband would be more of a chore than anything else.

Now I don't want to brag, but I really think I out did myself with the letter and I could only hope that Sherry was going to appreciate the time and effort that was put into it.

Katy Ross the host said, "We have a surprise visitor here to deliver your letter."

Sherry put her hands to her mouth in surprise and asked, "Is it Walt or my daughter Lynn?"

Just then a man in a suit stepped through the door and walked up to her and asked, "Are you Sherry Ann Carpenter?"

Thinking it was still a part of the show she giggles and replies, "Yes...I'm Sherry Ann Carpenter."

He handed her a large manila envelope and said, "You've been served."

A large gasp came from the host who obviously was not told in advance what was going to happen and the studio audience that was watching just outside the TV house. There was even a smattering of applause that for some reason did my heart good.

Everyone seemed to be in shock excluding Jake and Harley who just looked at the camera and smirked.

Sherry began to cry and lose control though being the caring lover that Jake is, he moved over to comfort my wife. He put his arm around her and pulled her body close to his and held her tight and began to whisper to her in a soothing tone.

Although I was a far from L.A., I did manage to wipe the smirk off Jake's and Harley's faces at least momentarily when they received a manila envelope as well. Of course theirs was for an alienation of affection suit.

Her house leadership only lasted for a few minutes as they were voting two people off of the show that night. Some woman was voted off and then they had another competition and Harley won.

While all of this was going on, it was easy to see that Sherry was visibly shaken. She was just going through the motions and didn't quite know what to do and what was more important, the show or her marriage. In my mind she might as well try to win the show because the marriage was over.

It was not meant to be and after Sherry was one of the two people put up on the chopping block she was sent packing to go to the 'Peer House' where she'll have to wait for the final night so she can vote for a winner.

It was quite a night.

Sherry had figuratively slapped me in the face so many times while on the show that I lost count, but she too got bitch slapped on her way out the door. The deciding secret vote that evicted her was cast than none other than her show-mance, Jake. Guess he no longer had a need for her in the house and was in the way of him collecting $500,000.

While in the 'Peer House', she is joined by Jake as he is the next voted out the following week.

There aren't many cameras in the "Peer House" but while the evicted guests are sitting in the living room, Sherry is sitting in the love seat with Jake not only by her side, but with his arm around her. When the host asks if they continued the show-mance in the new house, Jake immediately and proudly states that they decided to share a bed and that last night was probably the best night of his life.

What a prick!

There weren't any cameras it the 'Peer House' bedroom so even though I assumed that they continued their dirty little affair, I might not have known for certain. But when Sherry looked down at the floor and turned red I knew that it was true. God help me I knew it was true.

She continued the show-mance in the 'Peer House" and there is no excuse because the game was over for her at this point. There's nothing left for her to play for. Not that going as far as she did was a good enough reason just because it was a game, but even her warped logic couldn't make sense of continuing the affair after she was eliminated from the game.

It just became another slap in the face. I thought it was the ultimate slap in the face, but believe it or not, that was still a ways off.

######

Finally it's the night of the final show.

They introduce the players from the 'Peer House' and as they walk out one by one to the loud cheers of the audience they get to enjoy the last few minutes of their 15 minutes of fame.

Well not every ovation was loud and enthusiastic. When Harley walked out the cheer was polite at best with a few boos thrown in. He did not look pleased with the turn of events.

Jake was next and as the booing grew louder he began to look around to see if maybe someone was going to attack him. His smirk disappeared when it became obvious he was seen as the bad guy. Really...what did he expect?

Then Sherry was introduced and walked out in front of the live audience. She faced a few light applause and a few boos, but for the most part it was silence. I couldn't help thinking that the indifference was chilling and worse than getting booed.

She sat on a stool next to Jake, but he never attempted to put his arm around her. Could it be the love birds had a spat? I hoped that wasn't the case because they made such a cute couple and had that great chemistry together. It truly would have been a shame, don't you think?

Her eyes seemed to be scanning the crowd as if she was expecting to see her husband and daughter there. That wasn't about to happen. Lynn was already getting settled in to her dorm in Maine and this was my third night in my new apartment in Deland, Florida.

The host acted professionally enough with Sherry during the show's entirety though it was obvious that neither she nor the audience approved with my wife's actions. That offered me some comfort, but by that time I was pretty much inconsolable.

In the end somebody won, others lost and the show gave the network its highest ratings ever and second overall to only the Super Bowl that year. Who cares?

######

Sherry eventually contacted my daughter and Lynn in turned filled me in on what happened after that last show.

After trying frantically to call Lynn and me from her hotel in L.A. to no avail, she then tried her parents and sister with the same result. Sherry's family wasn't about to disown her completely yet they apparently needed time to digest what had taken place over the last three months and weren't open to take her calls just yet.

She would later tell Lynn it was then, when no one took her calls that she began to realize just how much she messed up her life. How she had not seen this before this time is incredible. Hell...there were red flags before she left the house that fateful morning months earlier to catch that damn limo.

When Sherry arrived at our airport hoping to find us there to greet her, she instead found herself all alone. She actually had the gall to be angry with me at first for forgetting to pick her up. Forgetting to pick her up; yeah right!

She took a cab home to find the house dark and both Lynn and my clothes gone from our closets. Sherry told Lynn that she broke down on the spot and cried herself to sleep right there on the bedroom floor.

My daughter was the one that called me a few weeks later to say that her 42 year old mother was pregnant. Hearing something like that should thrill a husband, but not in the case. The simple math told the story that I wasn't the father. It could only be Jake or Harley's.

And there it was...the ultimate slap in the face. It took a while to get here, but as I told you earlier, the worst was yet to come.

I was already through with my wife, however my daughter was holding out hope for some kind of a relationship with her mother. Well her pregnancy ended that.

Sherry Carpenter was certainly adept to alienating loved ones, friends and even acquaintances. Nobody could take that away from her. Not exactly a gift from above, but it is what is it.

For all of her misdeeds that led to those record breaking ratings, all she received from ITN for a lost marriage and alienation of her once loving husband and daughter was a mere $5,000.

Jake and Harley kept there bro-mance going once the show was over with Harley moving to Atlanta to share a bachelor pad with Jake.

Sherry had her baby girl three months ago. Jake proved to be the biological father while she was still pregnant, however, not surprisingly opted to shun any and all responsibility.

Though Jake was a complete loser, his family had money and they used that money to have my alienation of affection suits against both he and Harley thrown out. My lawyer warned me that might happen, but it was worth it just rattle their cages and expose them for being the scumbags they are.

Their lawyers were also successful in convincing a judge that Sherry entrapped poor Jake into having sex with her as part of a game known as 'America's Watching'. In the end Sherry was awarded zilch and faced yet more backlash from the media, especially the day time talk shows and syndicated entertainment shows.

I did follow the aftermath that followed with a passing interest though.

Lynn is approaching any possible relationship with her new baby sister cautiously. I don't think anyone can blame her for that. She tells me that although she has nothing against the baby, she just can't bring herself to meet her just yet. Lynn admitted that a lot of her resistance stems from not yet being able to face her mother. Though they talk on the phone from time to time Lynn has no intention of visiting her mother anytime in the near future. Lynn says the phone calls are brief, but not brief enough to suit her.

I too have nothing against the baby and was glad to hear she was born happy and healthy and wish her nothing but the best. That said I have no further interest.

This is a topic I no longer wish to discuss with any one for any reason. I believe the story I just related justifies my aversion to the subject.

######

Epilog of sorts and revelations...

Alright gentle reader, glad you had enough interest to make it this far with me. With that in mind it's only fair to wrap things up and let you know how my meeting with the court appointed counselor, psychiatrist, phycologist or whatever the hell she was, ended. This will also include her input instead of me just rambling on all by myself.

I can tell you that I was leery of her at first but by the end of our extended session came to respect and even like her.

Anyway...

Doctor Nancy Royce had listened to my story intently, however hadn't spoken much since welcoming me into her office and asking me to relate my side of the story.

Now I was just tying up loose ends in the Doctor's office saying, "So, 'America's Watching' was a rating bonanza and the hot topic for quite a few weeks after the show ended, but eventually all of the fanfare ends and people go on with their lives and our personal horror is all but forgotten by most."

"Yet there are those of us that will continue to live with it for the rest of our lives. For us it was anything but a game and if I knew then what I know now I would have super glued Sherry's God damned feet to our living room floor."

The Doctor had a hint of a smile.

"Who knows, if it wasn't for the show, maybe I would have never found out about the two other affairs and we would still be married. Then again if she cheated before and willing to cheat on me on national television...well...I really don't know what to believe anymore. "

"Anyway, ever since she came back home she has been trying to tie up the divorce in every way possible. I wish she would just give it up. Not only won't I ever talk to her again, I have no intention of ever being in the same room with her ever again. That should give a small clue as to my feelings regarding any possible reconciliation."

"So at our last court appearance the judge ordered us to counseling with one Doctor Nancy Royce. Of course this was told to me by my lawyer as he is handling the entire divorce in my absence. So here I am Doc."

"Though I have to tell you counseling is the last thing I wanted because there isn't any possible way I can ever take Sherry back. The first time she disrespected me by pressing her lips to that loser I knew it was over."

"But at least you're here Mr. Carpenter."

"Well...it was this or jail time. There won't be a next time though."

"You'd prefer jail instead?"

"Not quite, but something like that."

She had an expression of concern though let it go for the time being.

She then leaned forward and began, "Mr. Carpenter, I asked you to relate your story as honestly as you could and I must admit you've impressed me very much."

"How the hell did I do that?"

"Let's just say I'm so glad that I asked the judge to have an individual session with you. I know you would not have been that open if your wife were present."

"That's because if my wife were here I'd still be in Florida."

"Just the same, you were very open with me and I truly appreciate that. I must admit that the husband usually comes into my office ranting and raving about his wife and blaming her for everything wrong in their marriage. But you didn't do that."

She hesitated for a moment before continuing, "No Mr. Carpenter...you concentrated more on your emotions and the emotions of your daughter. That was very telling and went a long way to earning my trust."

"I didn't know I was supposed to be building trust with you."

She laughed and said, "That's the best way. That's why I booked such a long session. I really wanted to get to know you and I think we accomplished that."

She paused once again then added, "Would you mind very much if I told you my theory as to why your wife acted the way she did?"