An Arranged Marriage

I steady myself and lift my gaze. "Elena - ever since I lifted your veil, it's been nothing but surprises. Aside from one, all of them were incredible. Somehow, without any input from me, I'm suddenly getting married to probably the prettiest, smartest, most fun and interesting woman I've ever met. Of course I want you. I want you more than I thought I could want anyone, but it doesn't make sense how it happened. Then Adrian shows up, and it all makes even less sense, but that's okay because I really, really do want you. I'm terrified of screwing this all up, that it's all somehow a mistake. Maybe I am ashamed, but because I feel like I don't deserve this. Or you. I have no idea how to be with you, or what to do."

She studied my face for a long time, soaking in my words with far more kindness than I'd expected. I had to will myself to not look away, to simply wait for her answer. For my effort, I got to witness a slow softening of her features as she understood what I was saying. Finally, her soft, low voice gave me an answer, "I know one thing you could do."

I was eager to make amends in whatever shape they took. "What's that?"

"Kiss me?"

I smile a little, feeling a bit of relief. I lean over on the couch, and press my lips against hers. They're so soft and warm. I don't want to overdo it, so I keep it short. "There," I say softly with a half-smile, hoping she'll return it.

Instead of a smile, her lip trembles, her face suddenly wrenches up and another tear begins running down her cheeks before she can look away. I honestly think I'd rather have been stabbed.

"Did I hurt you?" I ask, completely lost on what just happened. I did what she wanted, right?

"No, it's fine." My inner monologue becomes nothing but profanity as she stares out the far window.

"No it's not, you're crying. That's okay, but please tell me what's wrong."

"You say you want me, but you won't kiss me?!" Even shaking from anger and sadness, her voice is tender and soft.

"I did kiss you!" I stammer.

"No, I meant really kiss me."

I feel like I just drove a car off a cliff into a ravine for as helpless as I feel right now. "What do you mean? You either kiss someone or you don't. You can't 'extra kiss' them!"

She stares at me, either extremely mad or very surprised. Maybe both. "You're not serious right now, are you?"

"Yes, I am! At least I think so..." I resolve to stare her down, however hard it is for me.

She looks at me like I've suddenly sprouted blue antennae. At least she's stopped crying. "Do you live under a rock?"

"I mean... kinda, I guess. Mom and dad were always super strict, just ask Katie."

She wipes a tear, a true smile breaking out. "Have you never paid attention to movies, when a man and woman kiss?"

"Not really. Not closely. Not much into romantic movies, anyway."

"Seriously?! People kiss in like... every movie ever." She asks, her voice flabbergasted but also with all the sadness drained out.

"Seriously." I nod. The way she's looking at me, the incredulous glare, I feel like I'm about to get put into the looney bin. I've missed something colossal.

"I know our religion is strict, but really?! You don't know how to kiss?"

"Given the direction of this conversation, I have to guess not..."

"And you really want me?"

"Yes!" I answer in glib defeat, my eyes wandering away again.

"Really?!" Her voice drops an octave.

"Okay, I deserved that." I admit. I look at her again, her face now almost dry, a bemused almost-smile there in its place. I summon all the earnestness I can. "Yes! I really - definitely want you."

"And you're sure you don't think I'm ugly?" I can tell by the faint smile she's toying with me now, but I deserve this too.

"You look like you've been shaped by God himself. If I was asked to describe a stunning, pretty woman my imagination would be too poor to even come close to your beauty. My heart aches every time you look at me, and I'd do anything to be the cause of your smile lighting up the room and filling my soul."

She sits there in her lacey white wedding dress, now just grinning at me. Like she's planning something.

"What?" I came out more irritated than I'd wanted - I just gave her the best compliment I could think of and she's not saying anything.

"Close your eyes." She's still smiling.

"What?" Confusion this time.

"Just close your eyes!"

"...Okay?" Now I'm curious. She has a way of putting me in my place now doubt my mother foresaw and approved of. I do as she says, however nervous that twinkle in her eye was making me.

I can hear her dress rustling, and the couch shifting under me as her weight lifts off of it. Suddenly, there's the warm, feather-light stroke of her fingers on my left cheek. The smell of her is strong as her fingertips slide across my jawline. The sensation is fantastic, far more than I imagined. Her fingers run along my neck, putting a shiver in my spine, then back to my face, gently tilting up my chin.

Just when I thought it couldn't get better, I feel the warmth of her lips suddenly on mine - only wetter this time. I feel a rush through my whole body at the taste. She barely breaks the kiss before there's another one, just as soft but a little more urgent. A third one comes, and I feel her nose brush against mine, the heat of her breath. Her lips break away.

I can't help myself, I open my eyes to see her hovering over me. Hers flutter open too. Oh god, she's so beautiful. The way she's looking at me makes my heart feel like it's running a marathon. Watching her like this is a rush of a thousand different intense emotions, especially after everything that happened, and everything we'd said. "Was that a real kiss?"

"Keep your eyes closed!" She giggles, clearly proud of herself. I know she's not actually mad - I know because she doesn't look anything like what she did just a moment ago.

"Fine!" I squeeze them shut and tilt my face up again, hoping there's more where that came from.

She kisses me harder this time, using her hand to pull on the back of my head. I quickly lose count of the kisses as her soft hair falls onto my face. One seems to just go into the next. I want it to go on forever, but she breaks after less than a minute. "You need to relax. I'm your wife now. You can trust me. I want this too."

"Sorry," I mumbled the apology. I realized I'd been holding everything rigid. I shrug my neck and shoulders a little.

"No, really. Relax!" She repeats.

"I'm trying!" I plead.

"Well then stop trying, because it's not helping you." She laughs a little. Then, there's a glint in her eye. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, of course."

She gathers the skirt of her white dress. She sits sort of side-saddle, with legs across my lap, staring straight in my eyes. I find myself politely holding onto her waist and hips. "Lie back."

I comply without hesitation, letting my head fall to the back cushion. She cuddles up with her nose against my cheek, looking at me with mischief in her eyes. We sit a moment in silence, celebrating true closeness for the first time. The seconds tick by, and I start to feel the fear actually melt away with the heat of her body weighing mine down. I murmur, "This is really nice."

"Yes." She whispers back. "But you still haven't really kissed me."

"Oh, come on!" I complain.

She just giggles like the massive tease I'd later come to love. She plants a wet little kiss on my cheek. "It's okay. I'm not worried if you want me any more."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

Her eyes flit down my body. She didn't need to say anything.

That's all it took to become painfully aware of an incredible pressure in my pants from the most bulging boner of all time pressing against her legs laid across my lap. I flush red hot from shame. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

"Relax!" She laughed. "It's okay! I kinda like it. Besides, I'm excited too..."

"Really?" A thrill worms through my body from the husky note in her voice.

"Very." She smiles and pecks again at my cheek.. "But don't worry. We'll take it slow. My husband still needs an education."

Okay, I'm a little bit wounded even if the jab is playful. Thing is: I couldn't care less as long as I get to keep staring at her gorgeous, smiling face. Something I'm apparently required to do now. Nice work if you can get it.

She nuzzled herself into the crook of my neck and shoulder, with nothing but the sound of her breathing for music.

Having her so close, her hair falling across me, her arm across my chest - it was something else entirely. I knew I was going to fall for this girl, but now I was falling fast. Her steady exhales against my neck and arms tight around me slowly push aside the layers of worry and anxiety. Somehow, she already has that power. She's working her way into my heart. I find myself saying a quick prayer. God - this woman is incredible - thank you. Grant me whatever it takes to give her all the happiness she deserves. I hope she didn't pass out. I know it's been a long day, but I've never spent time close to a woman like this. "Elena?"

She opens her eyes and looks back up to me. It makes my chest ache from how pretty she is. "Yeah?"

"Can we kiss some more?"

She gives a huge grin, and tucks herself to me a little more closely. She's clearly happy too, and starting to relax a bit more. I have no clue how I got so lucky that she seems to like me alright too. "I'd like that." She placed a big wet one right above my jaw, but her lips didn't leave.

Instead, she left a trail of quickly-cooling wet leading up my jawline. Her lips nibbled lightly at the lobe, and her breath tickled my ear. I gasped at the tingling sensation, and felt myself stiffen against her leg.

"Do you like that?" I could feel her smile in my ear. She left another kiss, sending another shiver down my spine.

"It kinda tickles." I smile. "I think I'm going to like everything with you."

"I can tell," She whispered, with a tiny giggle. Her nose ran along my ear. "I like the way you're pressing against me."

"I can't help it. I just like this - you - that much." I grin. It still feels awkward, being so obvious, but also nice. I can't believe how much pressure is building up in my pants just from kissing.

"Good." She kissed my ear delicately again before needily tugging on my face to turn back to her. As if I needed encouragement. She kissed me softly.

It was getting easier to relax now, feeling more comfortable with the sensation, and with the fact that somehow, that my absurdly gorgeous wife seems to like kissing me. Then, suddenly, I feel something run across my lips. I inhale sharply, and pull back at the shock.

She looks at me, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Just surprised." It took me the second to figure it out. "Was that your tongue?"

"Of course it was." She smiles, then pauses, her expression turning worried. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, just..." I paused, finally putting it together. This was what she wanted. I look at what, in my mind, is the prettiest woman in the world. "It was kinda intense. Good, but intense. I've never felt like this with someone before."

"You're ridiculously adorable." She ruffles my hair, and I feel myself flush. "You really were serious. You don't know how to kiss!"

"I guess not." I confess. I feel a little dumb now.

"Let's fix that." There's no time to process. Her mouth opens, and suddenly the sweet taste of her tongue slips into my mouth.

I gasp a little, my eyes now firmly shut. Okay, I feel very dumb now. She wastes no time using the opening to probe a little deeper, the tip of her tongue running across mine. The sensation sends little electric eels of ecstasy down my spine. The next kiss there's no tongue - maybe she's afraid of overwhelming me. I push my tongue against hers on the next kiss, ready for more and lost without her taste. My throat rumbles out a noise I've never heard myself make.

She laughs, breaking the kiss. "That's more like it."

I don't bother responding. I need more of her, and her tongue. I went searching in her mouth, and she teased me with little light circles. Then she dove greedily into my mouth. I almost couldn't believe this was happening. I was married. My wife is gorgeous. I can't help but pull her body to mine as tightly as I can as our tongues dance in each other's mouths. She presses against me as her hands hold my face and head.

I didn't think life could get any better.

--

"I still can't believe you had no idea how to kiss." Elena grins at me even as she polishes off a piece of chicken. She hadn't stopped grinning since we made out for a half hour straight - things got especially intense when she grabbed my jacket and pulled me on top of her on the couch. Now we were rehydrating and refueling with leftovers from the reception.

I can't stop grinning either, staring at her standing next to me at the small kitchen island. "Hey - not all of us took that elective, but I'm learning on the job now."

The look drops a second, catching the implication. "Shit... I'm still really sorry about Adrian."

"I know." I take her chicken-greased hand in mine before I realize how messy it is. That's the price of bone-in protein, but I'm happy to pay it.

We both started giggling after a kiss, realizing the fat had gotten all over her cheek. After another two passionate, tongue-filled kisses (we really couldn't stop), we got some napkins and stopped behaving like teenagers for want of more food.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked after a few more bites.

"Anything."

"How did you end up in an arranged marriage? It seems like your parents would have been fine with you marrying whoever you wanted."

"Hmm." She nodded, then swallowed. "That's got a big answer."

"I figured. Take your time." She'd given me time to answer. I'd have given her the same even if I didn't owe it to her.

She thought before starting. I admired that. "I think I've always been a little boy-crazy. My parents tore down no small number of bootleg posters of shirtless guys I hung in my room when I was a teen." She laughed nervously.

"Multiple? Did you think they were hidden on your walls or something?"

She chuckled. "No, I just wasn't thinking. We all have our blindspots, right? Especially as a young teen."

"True enough." Her charm dragged me into the chuckle with her. I picked at some vegetables while she explained more.

"Of course I figured it out eventually I couldn't slip them past my parents, but I still tried getting away with stuff. Sometimes it was just as silly as watching a movie with a particularly hot guy on repeat. I'm sure mom and dad noticed, but they let it slide. Where it really became an issue was college. Flirting with guys, trying to make what was obviously a date 'not a date'. Still, you know our religion is. It took until Adrian to pluck up the courage to even kiss a guy."

"Hey, I get it. The guy's a total hottie when he's not angry at the world. I'd wanna kiss him too if I weren't a totally straight dude."

We laughed together, with happy glances settling on each other. Once it subsided, she still looked nervous. "Sorry, you probably don't want to know about him."

"It's fine - you're my wife, I want to hear everything you want to say."

She smiles. "That's really sweet." Her gaze faltered. "Well, the details aren't super important anyway. It was all a flash in the pan. Intense, but it burned badly. I think I knew he was a mistake even as it all started, but I couldn't stop myself."

"Let me guess: your parents didn't want you to repeat the mistake, so they set you up?"

"No, actually. After I told them, they were really supportive and understanding. They knew what I was like, after all. Bit of the bad girl of the family." She grinned a little before her lips sagged at the corners. "I don't think they realized how much it ruined my trust in myself. It started plaguing everything I did, relationships especially. A few months after the incident, I asked mom and dad what they thought of arranging a marriage for me. We had a lot of long talks - if I was ready, what the arrangement and the man himself would be like..."

"Wow. You asked for this?" We'd both finished, so I took her plate with mine and discarded the scraps. It could all be washed up later.

"Yeah. I was terrified of making another colossal mess, so I told them I wanted it fully traditional. I didn't want to know anything, just in case I influenced the outcome in some way and horribly messed it up. But even that turned out to be a bad plan. We should have met. I should have told you so you could decide, not just have this forced on you."

It's funny how talking things out let so many pieces of the puzzle click into place. My parents probably hadn't planned on such a traditional arrangement originally, but it was a condition Elena and her family set. My hands washed, I held her hand and didn't let go now. "You should know I absolutely would have said yes if we did meet. But I get it, I've been worried this whole time if you'd want me too, given the choice."

"Are you kidding? I probably prayed the most effusive thanks to God the moment I saw you. I got practically Shakespearean. I was so relieved and beyond happy, especially as we got talking."

"That was before you learned I didn't know how to kiss, though." I grinned, finally getting a chance to tease her.

"Please, what girl wouldn't want to teach an absurdly cute and handsome guy exactly how she likes to be kissed?" She bored a hole in me with her smile, then shyly ran her fingers on the lapel of my suit.

"Oh, hush! I'm nothing special." I can feel a flush in my cheeks even as I try to laugh it off. I'm not sure I've ever been complimented quite like this.

"Well I think you are! I bet plenty of other girls do too, just I got luckier than them."

"You'd be the first to say so."

"Oh, come on! You're good friends with a lot of your sister's friends, right? No way none of them made a pass or flirted with you or at least stared a little long..."

"Maybe they thought I was gay too." I shrugged. It wouldn't be the first time. Still, inwardly, I conceded she was probably right. There were a couple of girls in Katie's group I knew, deep down, probably crushed on me at some point, even if I'd completely ignored the symptoms as much as possible at the time.

"Psh! It's plenty of girls' fantasies to straighten out the hot gay guy. I bet they were totally into you. I know I am."

I find myself carried along by her mischievous giggle. "Well, okay, if you say so."

"I do say so."

I shake my head. "Sorry, it's just all so strange."

"I know." She searched my face. "You do believe me though, right?"

"I mean, we just made out for a half hour - that's not something you do with someone you're repulsed by..." I laugh nervously.

She smiles, then urges me on. "...But?"

"But it's still really intimidating finding out your ex is some super hot dude who's probably got the hottest moves around. Makes me wonder how I measure up, if you'll regret your decision, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that." Her chin dropped. "That's really why you didn't want to dance with me, isn't it? You don't know how, and thought I'd compare you to him?"

"If I'm being honest? Yeah, I was mortified."

"I get that," She said again. "I know it will probably take time to believe me, but you need to know that, in my heart, there's already no comparison. That you're already so much more to me than Adrian ever was. I hope you find the courage someday to know I don't care how well you dance. To dance with me because I just want you close, and to show each other and the world what we mean to each other."

"Wow." I'm back to my word of the day. "I guess I hadn't thought of it that way. I guess it will take some time, but more because I haven't got a clue about dancing." I chuckle a little.

She smiles a little. "That's fine, I'll teach you, it's really the least I can do."