An Axe to Grind

"So? He's as smart as you, isn't he? It's not like they even need to be the same species to screw each other anyways."

Charli opened her mouth to instantly deny those notions, but she of all people knew that was true. Labrys certainly wasn't a dumb animal. Hell, after all she's confided in him, he probably knew her best. Charli deflated. "That's just how it is, Judy. Humans with humans."

"So you don't really have an answer."

"That was my answer!"

"If you say so. Look, I've got to go out on a jog with Flora now. Maybe think about what I said, OK? Bye now, and be safe." The line dropped dead. Charli similarly dropped her phone to the couch and leaned back. Wow, that really just happened. Her cousin suggested she go fuck a dragon. That was a new one. Well, not entirely true. You just know. Yeah, she really did know now.

Charli chuckled and placed her face in her palms. "Oh for fuck's sake." She could hear Labrys's heavy gait approaching her. What would she even say? He probably heard the whole thing, opening a whole new can of worms. She rubbed her face then looked up. "Yeah, buddy, what is it?" He tilted his head. "I'm fine, don't worry. I know I was yelling a little but that's just how it is when your flesh and blood is insane." Charli paused. Let's just get this over with, she thought. "Do you really like humans?" she asked. Labrys tapped on Charli's chest. "OK, yes, got it, me specifically." She chuckled. Even now he was sucking up to her. "Why though? Wouldn't you rather be with something like you?"

Labrys shook his head. He reached out tentatively, stopping briefly before tracing a finger along her arm, then through her hair, and finally grazing her cheek. He was a hopeless romantic too. This just kept getting worse. "Yeah but are soft skin, hair, and my eyes all that better than hard armor and blades?" she asked, a little desperation present in her voice. Labrys stomped and shook his head. Charli placed a hand on her forehead. "You're not going to give this up either, are you?" Labrys narrowed his eyes and shook again. "Nothing else catches your eye?" Shake. "Only me?" Nod. Well, that was flattering at the very least. "How do you know? You spend all your time with me." He shrugged.

Is this how it happened with Judith? She was just worn down into accepting it? Probably not, she sounded too pleased with the end result, or maybe she was intoxicated with it. "Look, we'll talk about it later, OK?" Hopefully he didn't hear everything. She didn't need him asking for a blowjob too. Charli couldn't get that disgusting image out of her head. Labrys stared at her, then slowly nodded. He retreated into the backyard again, politely closing the door behind him. "I have enough flowers, by the way!" she called out. What was going on in the world anymore? Distractions clearly weren't helping, she would just have to deal with her problems head on... Later. Charli still winced at the thought of that clip playing over and over across a million computers. Hundreds of millions. She shuddered. It was gonna be a long day.

_

Indeed, the day had slowed to a crawl. No matter what stupid distractions Charli found for herself, the minutes seemed to inch by. She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling while her television chattered on about all the inane things going on in the world. Every so often her gaze was drawn to her work desk. Soon to be named something else. She might as well rip that bandage off right now, right? It can't be all bad. After all, her cousin plainly informed her how much people could be into that kind of thing. That thought certainly didn't help matters.

With a deep sigh and a push up and out of bed, Charli walked over to her computer and sat down. She looked over at the doorway and into the living room. Labrys was nowhere to be found still. Mucking about in the backyard, probably. Hopefully he wasn't taking it too poorly. She switched on the computer, then with great effort, brought herself to her social accounts. Naturally they were filled to the brim with messages. Nearly all of them were about that day's glaring incident. She clicked on the posts she had made earlier as daggers shot painfully into her arm.

Yep, it was like wildfire, or maybe a controlled gasoline fire. Hundreds of thousands of reposts and whatnots, all attached with their own comments. Better than a million, right? Charli's morbid curiosity got the better of her. She had to know what people were saying. 'Hot'. 'Nice'. 'Told you so'. 'Damn, he took the chance'. 'More.' The rest were all variations thereof. A few comments even surprisingly tried to defend her, either by ignoring the glaring facts or simply by noting how shocked she was. Oh, how she wished she was as delusional as some people were. Charli's thoughts briefly flashed back to that kiss. It wasn't half bad. Not that she would admit it to herself, or admit it to her subconscious, or even acknowledge that there was a spark of pleasure anywhere near her brain when it went down. Though it's not like she could deny the images that went along with some comments. There was the moment of shock with wide eyes, then snap shut. She got right into it. Look at that. You're a slut for the camera, Charli, she thought to herself.

Charli supposed she felt something other than utter contempt for herself now. Life didn't feel as nearly frivoulous as it had seemed only a few minutes ago. She navigated over to her streaming site, which still stung. No messages there yet. Maybe she could get out of it, if she was good enough. How do you explain to Mr. Moderator man that you did that, though? Oh yes indeed, it was simply an accident. He slipped. The sun got in his eyes. Maybe he saw a bug on her lips and went for it. Charli laughed glumly at her stupid excuses. At least she knew she wasn't in serious trouble yet. She could still log in after all. If it were truly bad, she would have been promptly deleted and forgotten about.

Maybe everyone on the website was just a hardcore pokephile. Wouldn't be too hard to believe. Charli was vaguely aware how much porn was on the internet. Some of it surely had to be between-- The back door shut again, and in stomped Labrys. Fortunately he had no bushel of flowers in his claws. His gait was normal, and Charli would almost describe it as having a pep in his step. Labrys walked right up to her and pulled her into a hug. He made that inquisitive whine again. "Yeah, I'm feeling better," Charli said, half-lying. Labrys nodded and nuzzled up against her. "Easy now." Any sort of physical contact with him became increasingly weird. Being so forcefully introduced to a sexual side of Labrys was something she hadn't quite come to terms with yet.

Labrys pulled away. The two traded glances at one another. Charli grabbed her arm. "Well, uh, something wrong?" she finally asked. Labrys clasped his hands together. Looked like he was having trouble getting the words--or gestures--out. Eventually he pointed back and forth between the two of them, specifically at the mouth. "I think you've had enough of that today, don't you?" Just say no already, moron. Labrys placed a hand over his chest and tilted his head. "Yes, dummy. I always will love you." Don't you damned forget it either. He placed his hand on her chest. "And yes, I get that you love me, but it just doesn't work that way. Not that far." He opened his mouth and tapped on her phone, which was unfortunately in plain view on the desk. "No. No. No." Charli shook her head hard enough for him to get the message. "Judy is an insane person. I'm thinking about disowning her at this point, honestly."

Labrys placed a hand over his chest, then tapped on the phone with a hiss. "I don't care what you heard, Labrys," Charli replied, crossing her arms. "We don't do that. Hell, we're practically family, aren't we?" Larbys had no proper response. "Why can't you go ahead and find yourself a girl for you?" He deflated slightly and his eyes cast to the floor. "That's just how the world runs, OK? I've got no say in the matter." Labrys shook his head. "If it wasn't true, I wouldn't be telling it to you." She paused, looking over her poor partner. "Tell you what. How about we just forget this ever happened? Ever. Like, ever, ever. No joking about it. No nothing." The Haxorus paused and slapped his tail on the ground with a shake of the head. "This isn't normal, Labrys! Don't you get it? I still might lose my job because of your stupid stunt! No one in their right mind would ever think this is OK." Labrys tapped on her phone again, widening his eyes for emphasis. "She isn't in her right mind!"

There was a heavy pause. Labrys looked between Charli and her phone repeatedly. Charli just wanted to leave the room at this point. Labrys being in her way only made the sensation all the more unbearable. She sighed and made up any excuse. "I'm gonna get something to eat, OK?" she said, standing up. Charli grabbed her phone and gave Labrys a wide berth as she circled around him and into freedom. The door closed behind her with an audible lock. She spun around. "Labrys?" She jiggled the door handle. "Labrys, c'mon, that's not fair." There was a grumbling from the other side. She placed a hand on her head. "I know you think it's unfair, but don't you think it's just a little unfair to spring that on me too?" She jiggled the handle again. The door creaked open. Labrys peered through with a sullen gaze. "Well?" He nodded, but promptly shut the door again. Ugh. Fine, if he was gonna be that way.

Charli walked over to the fridge and yanked it open. Bachelor's dream fridge. Coke, pizza, various reheatable foods, and some foods set aside for Labrys. Yeah, she got lazy over the years, but who could blame her? Hospital food does things to you. She pulled out a sub sandwich, slammed the fridge shut, and threw herself onto the couch. Had the whole world gone insane while she wasn't looking? Charli turned on the living room television for the sake of background noise. She bit into her cold meal, wincing at the soggy lettuce. How could the day get worse, is what she wanted to ask, but didn't want to jinx it. Worst of all, now she felt bad about Labrys being this torn up. Being fussy was one thing, locking yourself into a room was another. Perhaps this was just fate and she only had to accept being dicked by her lifelong partner. Charli smirked at the stupid thought.

If only she were Judith. She'd probably say something awfully sweet and take the whole thing in good humor. "When's the last time you had a boyfriend?" Charli mocked. I don't know, when's the last time you had your head checked? She had to wonder if Judith was happy with that relationship. If she was, maybe Charli was the idiot. Your best friend asks to fuck and you say no? Well, OK, he didn't exactly ask for it, but it was on the table. Her eyes glazed over as she watched television, and the sandwich soon became irrelevant, downing it without much consideration to how it tasted. Something caught her eye. There, sticking out of the cabinet the TV sat on. What was that? She never used the thing because she knew she'd forget junk in there.

Charli set her sandwich down and opened up the cabinet, crouching down to look inside. Stacks of magazines. Old, worn magazines. She picked out the one at the top, which had been crumpled up against the drawer. It was an issue of one of those trainer magazines that covered all sorts of up-and-coming schmucks wanting to enter the leagues and gain some sort of fame. She flipped through it as a wave of nostalgia hit her. Didn't she throw these out? Healing sprays, interviews, all sorts of hiking gear, pokeballs, this thing had it all. Charli came to a stop on a page that had one of its corners folded inward. There, in the middle of the page, surrounded by a heap of other interviews was Charli. She was a little too bright eyed and happy, sporting a ball cap that screamed newbie. On her hip were six of those little red and white capsules. Charli sighed and set it aside, then picked up the next magazine.

Same as before, this magazine also had one bent in page corner that led directly to another picture of Charli. And the next one. And the next one. And the next one. When did Labrys do all this? It had to be him. Charli died a little inside every time she saw these embarrassing things, so it sure as hell wasn't her. It was nice to see them again, though. Kinda made her wish she could go back. Charli sifted through the rest of the magazines until she came to the one at the very bottom. She reached in and pulled out a more markedly worn out issue of the magazine. This one actually looked familiar. If she recalled correctly, this is when she sort of got big and-- Yep, it was the full photo shoot of her. Just her. Which felt a little weird at the time, but at least it sold.

Although the interview was pages long, only one corner was bent like the others. Charli had to peel the pages apart to find a full page image of her up against a wall, detailing what kinda gear she wore. It was a little too lewd, admittedly. Her legs were spread and she was wearing a lower cut top. For some reason the page had a wavy look to it, and was awfully stiff. Oh. Charli let the thing drop to the floor. Oh, no, no, no, no. She reached down to wipe her hands off on her shorts, stopping halfway to then get up and wash her hands. With soap. Lots and lots of soap. At least she knew now that he wasn't lying about his affections. That thought didn't help matters much. Probably the best-worst out of all the people that jerked off to her. Charli was a public figure, she knew how things on the internet worked at least that much.

Amid her fervent scrubbing, Charli started to wonder how he actually did it. Surely claws would be a little too scary to do it with, right? Did he do it outside or-- Charli shook her head and returned to washing. This had to stop. What could she do? Destroy her relationship with Labrys? Beg her insane cousin for help? Pretend everything in the world was all right? Take the dick? Why did it matter that he wasn't human anyways? Because society said so. Right. It felt wrong for the logical loop of it simply being wrong. Her scrubbing slowed. Labrys was a smart, cute guy. Yeah, he was a guy, with needs and wants and fantasies. Not conventionally cute, no, but he had a charm about him.

How would you feel in his shoes? Wondering if your best friend could ever return your love? Especially being teased like that. Where else was he going to get his release? God, he must be so confused. Charli came to a halt, letting the water drip from her fingers. This was her fault. Still, that just wasn't right. It felt so, so wrong to even consider him sexually. It's not like she saw him as a pet, he definitely wasn't.

Maybe she should call Judith again. Charli turned around, flicking the water off her hands. Uh, after her sandwich, she nervously added.

_

"So damn cheery to talk to me. Where are you now?" Charli mumbled under her breath. The phone continued to ring while she stared at the half-eaten sandwich in front of her.

The phone clicked, causing the girl to freeze. "Hey, Charli," Judith said.

"Judith." That was all she could manage.

"Uh, yeah?"

What the hell to say next? "Sorry about earlier." I guess.

"That's alright, really." There was a long pause. "Anything else orrrrrr...?"

"Look. I'm still going crazy over this."

"Yeah?"

"And I'm just thinking what to do. I don't-- I don't want to lose my friend like this." Not another one. "You know?"

"I get it, Charli. Relax."

"I'm not gonna, you know, do that."

"Do what?"

"Don't make me fucking say it, Judy."

"Alright, alright," Judy said with a chuckle.

Charli sighed and grabbed her arm. "How did it happen with you? You know, how did he go after you?" Maybe that would give her an idea.

"I went after him, really."

Fucking hell, she thought. She wanted to scream 'alright, stop', but relented. "So you're telling me you actually fell in love with him?" No, she couldn't help it. "Fucking hell."

"I really couldn't believe it either. Did a lot of lying. Hurt myself more than I wanted to, uh, physically and emotionally, hah. But I don't think you wanna hear about that."

"I'm gonna let morbid curiousity go on this one. So you can't help me on this one, huh?"

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"Well, I told him it wasn't right."

"That's it?"

"...yeah?"

"He's a p--"

"A person too, yes, I know." She shifted on the couch. "It's hard to talk to someone about not wanting to fuck them casually."

"How do you know you don't want to-- you know?"

"We've been over this," Charli said seriously.

"Do you know how big he is?"

"Shut the f-- No. No I do not. Not interested."

"Just a little chance, maybe? What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid I won't be able to live with myself, that's what."

"Because you took a chance with a friend?"

"Now we're just going around in circles. You know that's not right with them."

"He's either a person or he's not, Charli," Judith replied. Great. You can either fuck him or he's not a person. Charli supposed it made sense, in a terrible way. "I'm sure he'll fit," Judy added.

"Shut--! I don't want to think about that."

"Alright, sheesh." Judith paused. "Look, Charli. If you won't consider it, then that's all there is to talk about."

"But he's not going to give this up. I don't want to lose him over something so stupid."

"It's not stupid to him." Charli slumped back. Yeah, it probably wasn't. She frowned. It wasn't stupid to her either, really. "He'll get over it, Charli. Maybe not all the way, but I don't think he wants to lose what you guys have either."

"I guess that's it, then. Thanks. I guess."

"You gonna be OK?"

"Yeah. See ya." Charli hung up. Probably not, no. All she wanted to do right now was lie down and maybe go to sleep for a month. She loooked over at her closed door and sighed. That was out of the question at the moment. She got up, put her sandwich back in the fridge, then mentally prepared herself for the dumbest, sappiest words she was ever going to utter to another living being. Charli walked nervously up to her bedroom door and gave it a knock. The annoyed stomping over from the other side confirmed that Labrys was listening. "Hey buddy. It's me." Who else? "I know I've been a bit of a jerk." With good reaeson! "But I just wanted to let you know that I'm gonna... I know, like, how you feel now so." She rolled her eyes, tossing her head with them. "So I'm gonna think about it, OK?"

There was a moment of heavy silence, then the door slowly opened, with Labrys peeking through. He tilted his head with a huff. "Yes, I mean it," Charli said, placing her hand on the door. He tilted his head the other way and fluttered his eyes. "Oh come on, I said I'll think about it." Easy, she said to herself. "That's all I promise, OK?" His crimson eyes looked away, then snapped right back to her. Sometimes she wished he had a bit more expression going on. It was hard to tell what an armored serpent was thinking. His eyes didn't so much as pierce her as they did carress her, almost wondering. At this point he was probably mentally undressing her, but she figured she'd give him the benefit of the doubt. "Well?" She tested the door. It only barely budged.

Labrys gave a nod and let Charli in. He quickly retreated to his side of the room and sat down on his beanbag chair. Charli receded back into her expensive spinny chair. The two of them watched each other out of the corner of their eyes. Charli's lips pursed, wanting to say something and at the same time keep her stupid mouth shut. She had to say something, though. Break the awful barrier between them. Nothing casual, that wouldn't fly, not now. "So uh, Labrys." It was like she was conducting an interview. She placed her arm on the back of her chair and peered at him from behind the huge thing. "When did youuuuuuu start liking me? Like that. You know."