An Early Mistake

Life largely reverted to our normal routine for the next six months, though I did sometimes tease him by calling him 'my little porn star' and referring to my 'big boy' with obvious innuendo. He took it all in good humour and responded in similar fashion by saying he was that way only because he had such a hot mother. I started trying to date a bit more in the hope that I'd find someone sporting equipment similar to that of my son but I had very limited success. Most men were still only about 6 inches, though I did meet one guy with a lovely 7 inch cock that was quite thick. He wasn't as big as Adam but boy, did it feel good when he pushed that thing inside me! It was an experience that certainly convinced me I was a woman who preferred well-endowed men. The trouble was that out of all the guys I dated, he was the man I liked the least and I reluctantly concluded that despite his lovely cock, I couldn't continue a relationship with him just because of that, though it was tempting. Ultimately, I felt like I owed Adam better than that. My dating gradually tailed off again and I was left with nothing but my desperate fantasies and as time passed, I found that I was becoming increasingly curious to see Adam's cock again in the absence of any credible alternative, if only to reassure myself that something that incredible was possible. Perhaps my memory and longing was making it bigger in my mind than it ever had been in reality.

It was April and I took Adam out to celebrate my birthday. We went for a meal and then moved on to a club where we danced the night away. I love dancing and Adam was more than willing to indulge me and be my partner for the evening. We both drank quite a bit and I think the dancing became a bit provocative at times. Certainly by the end of the evening when the slow dances started, we were dancing very closely together and I suspect his hands drifted a little lower than they should have done but I was enjoying the attention and if I'm honest, I was doing my best to see if I could feel his bulge beneath his clothing. I couldn't be sure without being fairly obvious but I was sure I could feel something and it only fed my imagination about me eventually finding a man so well endowed.

Arriving home I suggested a nightcap or two before bed and he was more than willing to comply. He was still in a party mood and trying to dance with me around the living room. I managed to get him into a seat and I took mine opposite him.

"Thanks for tonight Adam, I've had a fantastic time," I said gratefully.

"I'd do anything to make you happy Mum, after all you've done for me," he replied.

"We do get on well together don't we," I mused. "We've always managed to work things out OK, even when they're awkward."

"I suppose so," he said, slurring his words just a bit.

"Do you remember when I saw you jerking off that night?" I laughed.

"Of course I do," he chuckled, "I was mortified and you seemed so stunned that a young man would do such a thing, but we worked it out."

"I think it was a mixture of shock and curiosity," I replied, a wicked thought entering my mind. "I've never seen a guy jerking off before and certainly not with such impressive equipment."

"Really?" he asked, sounding genuinely surprised. "You must have seen something like that over the years."

"Not really if you think about it," I replied. "I've never really known a guy to be much more than about 6 inches and you're certainly bigger than that, besides which, when I have been with a guy, they've had other things in mind than jerking off," I giggled.

'I suppose so," he replied, a little uncomfortably and I wondered if I'd gone too far.

"I guess I'm curious about seeing it and how you go about it," I asked, not sure if I was making sense.

"You grab it and jerk off," he laughed, missing my point.

"I realise that you silly boy," I admonished him. "What I meant was that for women, it involves quite a lot of fantasy and imagination. Is it the same for guys?"

"There's certainly imagination and fantasy involved but it helps to have something sexy to look at. I think men are more 'visual'." After a short hesitation he eventually added, "Is it really something you think you'd like to see?"

We were starting to get into dangerous territory now and I was torn between hoping he'd go further for me so that I could see him again and wanting to put a stop to proceedings immediately. I decided to be coy about the whole thing and hope he'd make a move for me, one way or the other.

"That would be quite the birthday treat wouldn't it but it will never happen," I commented as calmly as I could.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because if I was with a guy that well-endowed I probably wouldn't want to waste it watching him jerk off," I laughed, hoping he wouldn't think too badly of me talking this way as his mother.

"I suppose so," he replied thoughtfully. He was silent for a while before adding, "What if you were to watch me for your birthday?"

"You can't be serious!" I replied, half hoping he was very serious.

"Well, I'm feeling horny after tonight so why not?" he asked. "You've seen me doing it before and as I'm your son, it's not like you're intending to have sex with me so it would be the one time you could see a guy jerking off without anything else on the agenda. If I'm going to do it anyway, why not enjoy the show as a birthday treat?"

"You'd do that if I asked you to?" I asked, stunned that he was making such an offer so readily.

"If you'd like to see that then yes, why not?" he shrugged. "I jerk off every day anyway as you now know and you've already seen me already so it's not like you'll see anything new."

"I haven't seen you cum before, or were you planning to stop before the end?"

"I hadn't really thought of that," he confessed, "but it's your birthday and if you'd like to see that then why not?"

He was leaving the choice up to me and I really didn't want to directly ask him to get his cock out for me. That seemed a bit too direct for me as his mother so I decided to goad him a bit instead and put the onus back on him.

"It's a nice thought Adam but I bet that like all men, you're more talk than actual action."

I knew he couldn't resist a challenge and he immediately stood up and started to remove his trousers and pants. To my surprise he was semi-erect already and already an impressive size. My mouth was watering at the sight of him! His cock was simply beautiful and I defy any woman not to be drawn to such incredible equipment.

"Oh, it's like having my own male stripper!" I cheered and with that encouragement he proceeded to remove the rest of his clothing. His taut young body was an impressive sight and he immediately started to stroke his cock, which was growing nicely. I had half expected to change my mind if he had taken the bait but at that moment, I just wanted a better view. "Come closer then," I cried out, "I want to get a better view." Without hesitation he came to stand in front of me and continued to jerk himself off.

He didn't seem to be as hard as I expected and I wondered if that was a result of not having enough blood to fill a cock that big, though I seemed to recall he was harder when I discovered him in the bathroom. "Is it difficult to get it fully hard when it's that big?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"No, not particularly," he replied, "but it's a little different with you being here and I don't have any visual aids available to help me."

"Pictures you mean?" I asked.

"Yes, something like that."

"I have a very low cut top on," I suggested, eager to see it at its full size. "If you can ignore the fact that I'm your mother, you could try concentrating on my cleavage." I undid an extra button on my blouse and pulled it open a little further so that my cleavage was clearly on display. The fact I was wearing a Wonderbra undoubtedly helped and as he looked longingly at my breasts, his cock became instantly rock hard. The fact that he was getting so big and hard by looking at his mother was a detail I ignored for the moment as I was so captivated by the sight in front of me.

My original estimate proved to be pretty accurate as now that I could get a proper look at him I was sure he had to be at least 8.5 inches in length and he had the thickest cock I'd ever seen. The head looked huge and I was squirming on my seat as I tried to imagine what it would feel like to have something that big stretching me to my limit and driving into my soaked pussy. He'd had some very lucky girlfriends! If it had been anyone but my son, I'd have started stroking it for him it looked so good. Hell, I'd have happily sucked it for him if it had been anyone else and if I could actually get it into my mouth! As it was I had to content myself with jealously watching his hand move along its impressive length. I was very aware of the fact that I was becoming soaking wet thanks to the sight in front of me and even though Adam was stood there, I couldn't resist rubbing my pussy through the thin material of my panties while I dreamt of someday finding a man eith a cock like that for myself.

"That certainly seems to have helped," I commented, hoping I wouldn't put him off by speaking.

"You have incredible tits Mum!" he gasped. "What guy wouldn't get hard seeing those beauties?"

I was a bit surprised by his frank admission but figured he was just lost in the moment so didn't realise what he was saying as he was supposed to be merely using my cleavage to help him think of another woman. His breathing was starting to get a little laboured but I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't really notice. I was so mesmerised by the sight in front of me, all I could do was lean closer to him to get a better view of his cock.

"Oh God, Mum!" he suddenly cried out and jets of cum shot from the end of his cock, covering my cleavage and clothes with his essence. I was completely taken by surprise and I guess I must have looked rather shocked because he immediately started to apologise. "I'm so sorry Mum, I didn't mean to do that," he rambled incoherently.

"It's OK darling, it's perfectly fine," I reassured him. "If I'm going to have a young man jerk off in front of me, I suppose I should expect some cum on me." I was secretly thrilled to see and feel a man cum on my tits but I was also thrown by the fact he'd called my name when he climaxed. Wasn't he supposed to be thinking of someone else?

After the deed was done, it felt a little awkward for both of us as it dawned on us just what we'd done but neither of us wanted to admit we'd made a mistake. It was easier just to dismiss it as a one-off event done due to alcohol. We didn't say much else before going to our own bedrooms and our own private thoughts. Adam said he hoped I'd enjoyed what I'd requested for my birthday and I simply said it was very interesting and thanked him for being so comfortable with me.

I lay in bed that night riddled with guilt. There was no doubt in my mind that although Adam had made the offer, I'd engineered events towards a conclusion I had been hoping for all along. What was wrong with me? Was I so desperate for a big cock in my largely sexless life that I would use my own son? How could we ever go back to the way things were? If I could have found a well-endowed man I actually liked at that time, things may never have gone further, though perhaps I'm just telling myself that to make me feel better. The fact is that I had enjoyed seeing Adam's large cock and I'd enjoyed him cumming on my tits. I started to dream of being taken by a man with a huge cock but it was increasingly difficult to separate my fantasy from Adam. What was going on in Adam's mind I had no idea at the time.

A couple more months went by and there was no doubt in my mind that our relationship had changed. Adam was strangely subdued and it felt awkward when he was around me. Eventually I couldn't take it any longer and resolved to talk to him about things and see if we could move on. He came in one evening at about 10.30pm and I heard him heading to his room without coming to see me first as he used to do before that fateful night. It was a conversation I really didn't want to have but it was one I knew I couldn't delay any longer so with my heart in my mouth, I walked purposefully along the landing to his room. Knocking tentatively on the door, I entered as soon as he called out 'Yes!'

"I'm sorry to disturb you Adam but I think we have to talk," I started. He sat looking morosely at his feet and my heart broke to see him so sad, especially as I was sure it was my fault. "I think I crossed a line on my birthday," I continued, "and I'm afraid I've really upset you so much that you've stopped talking to me. I'm so desperately sorry if I've ruined things between us and I sincerely hope you can forgive me and we can move on."

"You did nothing wrong Mum," he replied, sounding surprised. "We were a bit drunk and things happened that we may now find awkward but as I recall, it was my idea and I claimed it wouldn't bother me."

"Perhaps," I replied awkwardly, "but I'm your mother and I should have known better and now you're so ashamed of my depraved behaviour that you can't even talk to me anymore." I started to cry as I really did feel heartbroken.

"It's not that at all Mum, don't be silly," he admonished me.

"But......" I stuttered, unable to finish the sentence.

"Look Mum, did you enjoy seeing me jerk off in front of you?" he asked directly.

"Well, yes, I did, but...."

"No 'buts' Mum, you either did or you didn't," he insisted. "Did you enjoy seeing me and what I did?"

"Yes, I did," I admitted, hanging my head in shame.

"Well I did too," he suddenly confessed, "and that's been part of my problem recently."

"What do you mean?" I asked, utterly confused. He didn't reply but instead reverted to staring at his shoes. "Come on Adam," I insisted, "you can talk to me about anything, you know that."

"You'll hate me," he replied dejectedly.

"Of course I won't," I assured him. "Whatever it is I could never hate you and I'll do anything I can to help you."

"Look Mum," he eventually started, "I really enjoyed what we did. There's something I found really thrilling about jerking off in front of a woman that's so much better than simply relying on pictures or my imagination, though it certainly fired my imagination."

"I can understand that son, so what's the problem?"

"Well.... it was doubly exciting because the woman was you and that's not supposed to happen. It's just not the same now and I can't find the same satisfaction anymore," he replied, looking completely dejected.

"I guess I can understand that," I admitted, "but what can we do about it?"

He hesitated for quite some time but it was obvious he had an idea on his mind.

"Can we do it again sometime?" he asked with a look of desperation in his eyes.

This wasn't at all the turn of events I'd expected. I was desperate to do anything I could to fix things but would it really help by repeating what had caused the problem in the first place? I needed time to think so after what seemed like an eternity I eventually replied: "Could you give me 24 hours to think about it?"

"Sure Mum," he replied, happier than I'd seen him in a while. "And thank you for not hating me and dismissing it out of hand."

"I could never hate you Adam," I sighed, "I love you more than anyone else in the world."

"I love you too Mum," and I instinctively knew he was being completely sincere.

The next 24 hours dragged by and I was torn apart by my feelings. What he was suggesting was wrong but he needed me and I couldn't deny that I had loved seeing him jerk off for me. In truth, I liked it even more knowing that looking at my tits had made it so special for him. I finally concluded that as long as we didn't go any further, the situation was at least manageable, even if it was still a bit depraved and as they say; you can't put the genii back in the bottle. The fact was that he had already jerked off in front of me so surely repeating the same thing wasn't making it any worse and after a while, he might tire of such a thing. At 10.00pm the following evening I called Adam to my room. He came in rather sheepishly, afraid of what he might hear but for better or worse, my mind was made up.

"Look Adam," I began, "this is a difficult situation for us both but I am responsible for getting you into this situation so I have to accept that responsibility. I can't have you suffer for my mistakes so I've decided we can do it again if that's what you need and as long as we go no further." His response surprised me.

"I do really want this to happen Mum, you know that," he stated, "but I don't want to do it if you don't enjoy it too. I love you too much to force you into anything you don't really want to do." I didn't know how I should respond so in my silence he continued. "You said at the time you enjoyed seeing me so I was hoping you could enjoy it again."

"You're right, I did enjoy it, even though I shouldn't have done," I replied, "and I suppose that if I'm entirely honest, deep inside I would also like this to happen again."

Adam positively beamed with delight. "When were you thinking of?" he asked.

"I see no point in delaying things," I replied, "so how about now?"

"I hoped you'd say that," he replied with that endearing look he has that melts my heart.

He stood in front of me and quickly shed his clothing and best of all was when I saw his beautiful cock again, already growing to its full magnificent size. Now that the decision had been made, I felt fine about what we were doing, even if I was perhaps just kidding myself. It was just masturbation after all so it wasn't really that wrong. Adam slowly started to stroke his cock, stood right in front of me and seemed to love the fact that I was watching him while I was mesmerised by his magnificent cock. Not for the first time, I wished I could meet a man so impressively endowed and envied the girls who had experienced what Adam could offer.

"Could I possibly see your tits again Mum?" he asked a little hesitantly. "They were so beautiful that it really helped me last time."

I'd forgotten about that and I wasn't wearing my Wonderbra as I was already in my nightdress so I knew my cleavage wouldn't be as impressive.

"Well......," I hesitated.

"Please Mum, you have such beautiful tits and I loved seeing them," he pressed. "It is something we've done before so it wouldn't be going any further."

I couldn't deny the logic of what he said so I quickly slipped out of my dressing gown and used my hands to push my breasts up for him so far that the material was only just covering my rapidly hardening nipples.

"God that's so hot Mum, you look so sexy," he groaned, moving his hand along his length with greater urgency. My own breathing was rapidly becoming more laboured as I was practically drooling over the sight in front of me. My wonderful boy was so big and hard that he made me long to feel something like that inside me. This may not be quite the same and the cock in front of me may have been my son's but it was still making me salivate at the mere thought of being taken by such a cock. Once again I was becoming very wet and I was unconsciously rubbing my pussy through my nightdress. It was an exquisite torture being so close to such a beautiful specimen of manhood while it was still out of reach, in both a literal and metaphorical sense. My physical condition was not lost on Adam.

"Do you like this Mum?" he asked as he slowly stroked his length. "Do you like looking at my hard cock while I jerk off for you?"

"Yes, I do," I almost hissed in my barely controlled yearning for such a thick pole, "I love it."

"Is it because I've got a cock that's bigger than you've ever had before?" he persisted.