All Comments on 'An Ordinary Man'

Good story but wished the lover got more and more suffering for the ex as well once she heard he got married

Just thought of a last paragraph: As for Joann, she just slithered away like the snake she is.

Great story!

Average story. Not much drama. Regular marriage fail.

As the Brits say “Joann was the village bicycle”! Everyone rode her, lmao!

It was a good story but fell a bit flat. I like cheated husbands who keep cool and unemotional. But every character? Felt like actors reading their lines rather than acting. Even the fist fight in the park was a bit like scanning a report.

Echh,Mmm Hmmm.

I have the same criticisms that another persons that already commented does. The characters are just too emotionless and robotic. That really hurts the story. There are some other issues, like the all too cliché "Spy store" not to mention the MC having the IT knowledge needed to install spyware on his wife's phone. However, the robotic characters is the biggest flaw. If not for that it would have been a pretty good story. As it sits, it's just average.

Second reading, same rating. Just did not seem real, especially the revenge on Will. And the ending with new family was too quick and too brief.

oddly why would you keep a partner that stupid or that unable to control their actions?

Most would vote her out.

Her high powered job went to her low powered brain. She may have had a sharp mind, but her power over ruled everything including her husbands warning. He did tell her to leave her job so this was inevitable. The near misses were ignored by her. Why did she do it? Because she wanted to. She owed it to herself and herself alone.

The wife was a cheating bitch who had no consequences… Jerry should have made her pay a price, given her less access to the kids!

Great story length. Worthy read!

Brilliant character development. Then to the end they stay true to type. Different people, different motivations, different weakness or strength. Would hire either one for their specialty. Might let a daughter marry him. No son for her. Quite simply, like so many folks today she lacked a deep moral compass, a timebomb waiting to explode, but a clever lawyer.

The author has above average ratings, and this worthy piece should raise that average. Great story length. Worthy read!

An interesting story that I enjoyed, congratulations to Jerry. Thanks for your writing.

you write without any passion in your protagonists, hard for us to really care

Average at best, no emotions, no characters.

⭐⭐⭐

SO THE BITCH WIFE'S LAW FIRM ALLOWED HER TO FUCK A JUNIOR EMPLOYEE!!

WHY DIDNT THE HUSBAND SUE THE COMPANY AND DIVORCE THE BIT H FOR ADULTERY!!

THIS IS A CUCK WRITER PUSHING A CUCK MC

WHORING JOANN GOT OFF TOO EASILY....A WHORING LAW FIRM...HOW FITTING

The writing style is a bit stilted. It felt like the old TV show 'Dragnet'. Good story, though.

Great Writing, Great Story. 5 stars to the writer. Perfect character development. Excellent conclusion. I love a happy ending. More like this, please. Dialog is so realistic. Thank You Great job of writing.

Really great read with some finding their own shortcomings and others finding - perhaps - a soul mate love and family.

We loved your writings and story. This one fell a bit flat toward the end as it needed a bit more ending. The Will and Joann ending needed more, and there should have been some company retribution toward employees and boss-subordinate scenario! Also nothing else occurred with Joann and obviously it wasn’t meant to be in this story?

Story started with Jerry being a "mid-level manager for a retail clothing chain" but the rest of the story he worked in a bank, bank consultant and day trader. Editor needs to do more than look for misspellings

Great story I love it when a good faithful person stands up for what's right.

Not much payback on any of the cheaters

Why on earth would he have children with and stay married to a woman he never trusted?

Bit odd but readable

You really should take time and notice things BEFORE you marry. But even then, things can change.

Joann as like a Walmart salad- Starts out ok, but then turns rotten fast! This is my advice, to all those men, who suspect wifey is cheating. Get your evidence, then get rid of her. The chances for a decent looking woman to cheat, are never ending. Don’t become her jailer, make the bitch, someone else’s problem. 5 stars.

Wasted read!

ANd then naomi cheats and fucks the 15 inch dick of the schools principal

Boring.

This is like so emotionless. I have read thesis about the supply chain procedures with more passion

Not for me, no real emotions or characters

I’m pretty sure the author is either from the British Isles or maybe has English as a Second Language. There’s an amalgamation of British English and American that is probably the result of learning English overseas and subsequently moving to the US.

I’m not sure, but I think Stev2244 is as well and both authors seem to have a detached style of writing, which I personally have a bit of fondness for.

Does Jerry realize he is now #3 behind her twins? Too smart for his own good.

Uninteresting characters and the story is very matter of fact. 3/5

Recent comments point out the author's weakness. Meh! Boring!

Sad because the message of the story is excellent.

10 Big Blazing Stars for demander, I love your writing Sir! Excellent Effort, thank You. Buster2U

Life is pretty sad for most people. Good writ8ng,

One of your better stories.

Nice.

Needed a much stronger finish. Wife gets off easy. Will gets off easy. So did Fred and the boss.

Average story and that is being generous.

Like your writing style, though.

Oh, and proof-read your story. The mid-level retail manager was a real blunder.

I completely agree with prior anonymous, he/she said exactly what I was thinking.

Second time.

Yes the story did need a stronger finish. We also needed to see if Jerry’s prediction regarding Joann after the divorce came true. We never actually saw that. Seeing her sad and alone would’ve been the icing on the cake that got that extra point from me to make this a 5/5

Years later, after Joann had made junior partner, she did herself in front of the senior partners.

"Joann, you're an excellent attorney, no doubt. But we've been getting complaints from the paralegals about your sexual antics in the office. You were warned before and we can't risk a sexual harassment suit."

Joann is stunned, though realistically knew her actions were getting out of control.

"I'm sorry, Joann, but you're fired."

With no friends to speak of and her 'pool' of sexual choices now leary of joining her in a job search, Joann found herself cruising bars for sex.

Jerry threatening legal action to keep her kids from her entirely resulted from the second time she tried to pick up the kids still inebriated.

I enjoyed the story, but must admit that it had a sort of matter-of-fact narrative with little passion, especially the ending. For all that, it was well-plotted and edited and I gave it four stars.

Another loving wife written by this author, who is so obsessed as to border on limerence. This time hubby tried an intervention and she was almost robotic in her need to self destruct her marriage, fooling herself that it would only be one time and her husband would never know. His means to discover her betrayal was laughably easy. Joann comes off as quite dumb. And while she has a short fling with Will, the sex is objectively worse than what she had with Jerry by a large margin, once past the thrill of her first time. It isn't even that her moral calculus is messed up, it is that she is too stupid to do even basic reasoning, let alone calculus of any type. Still author writes well. 4 stars.

enjoyed the story. Very weak ending.

meh... average, and rather boring...

Very vanilla. Almost boring. I was between three stars and four on this one, but settled on Four stars.

JPB NOT BOB

After further consideration, I have to go with three stars for an Average story my comments remain the same.

JPB NOT BOB

We should have beaten Will a ton harder when he had the chance