All Comments on 'An Unusual Request'

Thanks for writing this. Wish I was as good as you are. Just enough to allow me to fill in my own memories.

This tale gives rise to feelings deep and coveted. Thanks for this one!

Easily five stars and a favorite, a fantasy that also gave me a tear.

I absolutely love your writing, it captured my full interest, drew me in and sent me into the world that existed in your few pages. It felt more like a piece of coveted piece of reality than anything. Please keep writing!

Best written story I read here by far

But the actual fucking happenened much too fast.

She took his hand and put it on her pussy to show him how wet she alread was. Why no playing with her pussy then? What was the rush to get his cock inserted?

She got him to admit that he'd fantasized about her, lusted for her. Why didn't she ask him what those fantasies were? And then act them out with him? Why didn't she play with his cock, priming him and building up the intensity of his orgasm and the amount of his cum? She could have done something of a blowjob for a while too, all the while edging him, but making him save his cum for her pussy.

Four stars.

Good premise.

But there needed to be some significant foreplay before insertion of cock into penis.

Why did she have to be so wet before they even got started? Better if she needed some foreplay to get herself in the 'mood'. If no kissing mouth to mouth, OK, but how about some pussy licking? And a blowjob? Maybe a little titty fucking?

Disappointing.

Three stars.

Hey, don't stop writing !

Such a perfect and sweet story. It’s not my typical genre, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Very nice first effort!

Never mind what others might/would have done differently. This is a creation of your mind and imagination, and, as with most things we first attempt, your skills will improve with time and repetition. Those who would re-write your story offer little, but be sure to remain vigilant for genuine input intended to improve your writing. GOOD START!