by MindsMirror
Smooth segue is definitely your long suit - Needs a tad of proofreading - Lack of vulgarity was much appreciated - Once she said that she was adopted I could see that speed bump coming - As to the total story line, 'you sure took the long way around the barn' . . . .
I decided not to rate your story. You write well be ramble to far afield with superfluous autobiographical stuff.
My writing was honed at THE engineering school of the ACC. The key lessons were, stay on track and ‘write tight’
Keep it up.
Very good. Was concerned they might be twins. Small increased risk of birth defect in half siblings. Three allele match - which three? Usual reasons avoiding not present. Go for it!
I read this story a couple of years ago and loved it then. I didn't remember what it was called and started reading again by chance. By the time I realised for sure that I had read it, I was totally hooked again, even though I began to recall the ending, of part 1, at least. It's one of the best written and best crafted stories ever. More importantly though, it's a blue print for how to live, with morals and ideals very similar to those in M. Scott Peck's 'The Road Less Travelled'. Those lessons are hard to follow, when temptation is there, especially if you've had as lax (albeit loving) an upbringing, as I had. But this story makes me determined to try harder. That's all in addition to the theme of the story, a modern day variation on Moll Funders, all of which raises contemporary issues, that need to be discussed more widely, and it does that in a very powerful and responsible way. Can't wait to read part 2 again. I recall them arriving at Corpus Christi, but at the moment I can't remember how it all works out. So I have another treat in store.
It was gross when Tommy ate out his own creampie on page 6. It seemed a bit out of place with the rest of the trilogy although most of the guys do seem to taste their own cum at times....
The idea that physical intimacy precludes emotional/mental intimacy doesn't make any sense to me, if anything I've found that it encourages other types of intimacy. What straight college male would stop a girl he was infatuated with during a blow job? And pushing her away/ avoiding intimacy with her made him feel like a hero. It's strange.
Tommy sometimes seems foolish to the point of being simple and at other times he almost seems enlightened.
The odds of them being siblings has to be extremely low. Why can people only love each other if they're siblings in these stories? It's impossible for me to suspend disbelief in these fantasies, too much cognitive dissonance.
I figured out what and how they were going to figure out they were somehow related very early. BUT I love the story of the romance, as well as the mutual love of science. I am retired now, but consider myself a scientist, as well as having been a software and database design consultant for much of my career.
I've already read both chapters and together they were very enjoyable. I'd love to see a chapter three in there to see where it all goes with the mother and brother
This is a another really great story from MindsMirror. I’m loving every word of it. So perfectly crafted.
Interesting premise.
But too much 'story' and not enough sex.
And the sex, when it happens, is rushed through without all the 'details' that were needed.
Needed more 'exploration' with dialog about what they were doing/trying. And how it made him/her feel. And asking/discussing how it made the other feel.
Four stars.
Hi MindsMirror, I'm sorry to say that this story has been pirated and is being sold on Amazon by an author 'John Xie'. I reader kindly informed me that one of my stories was being sold by him (turned out to be two) and I got them taken down by Amazon using the link on the page selling the story to report copyright violations.
Here is a link to the item with your story in it.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0B5MYSVK2?ref_=dbs_m_mng_rwt_calw_tkin_12&storeType=ebooks&qid=1656958002&sr=1-6&asin=B0B5MYSVK2&revisionId=&format=4&depth=1
Well. Damn. Been a while since I've been this hooked on a story. Well written, good pacing, believable characters. Looking forward to (and immediately starting...) chapter 2. :)
I love the story, I do get involved in the stories if they are good, and well-written, as this is. This is the reason why at one point I shouted at the screen if this breaks up you (the characters) and I (the reader) would both be in tears, not yet though this is still retrievable, 5 stars.
Since I'm from Texas, you already had a brownie point going in. I wouldn't necessarily say that I have an intimate knowledge of Corpus, but I have driven Charter Bus trips there frequently. My sons' High School Orchestra trips were done every other year to a specific condo on Mustang Island and the bus company that I worked for made me lead driver on every one of those trips because of my affiliation with the school (I was an employee there as well, not only just a parent.) I was an Assistant Scout Master for a local troop and we did overnight sleep aboard CVA-16 twice. Yeah, there were church camp activities thrown in as well. I know Corpus well enough to pretty much get around to most places without the aid of a map. The same goes for any city in Texas east of a line drawn straight across between Laredo to Fort Worth. I know the east Texas Piney Woods south of I-20 intimately.
Getting back to my critique, I loved your story overall, but it still had a few road bumps and potholes. The biggest issue was your time line. Just reading through it without actually picking it apart to count the weeks, it felt to me like too much time was burned between the first sleepover and the trip to Myrtle Beach. October would have been over with already. And realistically speaking, they should have been comfortable with first time intercourse by the 5th or 6th date excluding study nights. That was drawn out to far too long. I still gave you 5 stars 🌟 just the same. It's a good love story. I'm looking forward to reading the next installment.
Once I started reading I was unable to stop until I finished the first chapter. Your writing is very intriguing and captivating. Nice to observe a story that does not begin with two youngsters jumping into the bed. You worked up to joining together perfectly.
It held my interest throughout and then the moving ending of this chapter was just a bit of a surprise, what with all the background you laid for us to examine. Do not let them die but it is my hope that you will let their union continue. Great writing and look forward to Chapter 2 and your other stories as well.
Averagebear seems to view this story as somewhat inappropriate for incest/Taboo, since the angst due to the familial aspect comes after the fact.
I feel differently.
This story just provides another angle on the Incest/Taboo theme. And variety is the spice of life.
Tommy's opinion is that pastors are paid after the other bills, and therefore often poorly. I was a pastor for four different stints, taking up a significant part of my working career. I was always paid a set salary -- and always received it, even in the churches which were small and struggling. All pastors I knew of were paid a set salary. I remember one telling me that his church was in an affluent Houston area, and that he was paid commensurate with the make-up of his church.
Both Tommy and Suzan seemed to feel churches were composed of hypocrites and "bad" folks. When I was a pastor, I felt that one of the "perks" of the job was being among the nicest people.
Note # 1. Even the nicest are not perfect.
Note # 2. Me being on Literotica is inconsistent (hypocritical?) with my past profession.
(I'm not perfect.)
(Still think I'm a nice guy.)
Paul in Oklahoma
I hope you keep it a romance between 2 people and not turning them into just another story of 2 kids sleeping around with everyone
I truly admire your writing style. So much content. More than so many others. More than a suck & fuck. Try love does in fact exist between close relatives. Whether they acknowledge it or not. Society has so many constraints, it’s hard to act on them.
I was riveted to the computer screen reading. I love the beauty of the story and it is well written. I look forward to reading more of your work and the compeltion of this story. Keep up the good work and please keep working on this story!!!!!!!!
I echo all the previous positive comments. This has been my first time reading this story (and related stories from MindsMirror), BUT it will NOT be my last. I seldom read stories/books more than once. This story deserves a second read.
MindsMirror, your work is consistently excellent. Love the detailed place references and small touches, and the attention to consistent story line. Hope you post lots more.
It's about the third time I'v read this and still love it - and them. More please, and, of course, a VERY happy ending!
Jet again another magnificent a truely talented author one of the very best
Five stars are not enough for this story, looking forward to the next chapter.
...Or will be when it is finished! Lovely story. Lovely couple. Ignore the incest and get married you two!
Thanks so much for these stories. I've enjoyed them very much. They all need to be finished. Please check continue them.
The series of interconnected stories is literally the top of our list. They may not appear in the order we wanted, but the continuation of this one should be forthcoming shortly. A list of priorities is listed under our profile.
-MM
It's been awhile now please carry on with this. All your stories are good but this needs to be finished
An excellent story, easily as good as your others in this series, but (like many others) am eagerly awaiting the next chapters. Hope all is well for you.
Just re-read this story as well as Empty Nesters and Unintended Consequences. I know from your profile that you are making new chapters a priority for all three stories. Hopefully by this fall or winter? You are truly gifted writers.
PLEASE! you have written a really great story so far and it really does need to have the loose ends tied off.
Do you realise just how many stories there are in here that leave us readers hanging for an ending? I think it is disgusting carry on that a story is started and never finished what unethical behaviour.
If you value your followers you could at least give a reason for not concluding a story so at least we know what to expect.
Why do you not complete this story? But it has been so long..reminds me of submissions by Adrian Leverkuhn, with many submissions requiring closure.
I gave the story 5 stars only for what you have already written. If I was completely honest I would have given you 1 star or if possible, even less simple because I have doubts if you will finish this story and post it here. I know you are not alone but WHY do authors pull that crap???? If you have finish the book, give us the opportunity to buy it!!!
I have to agree; the story line is excellent, but needs to be finished asap. I will wonder how it turns out until you write the sequel; I think this trip will do a lot to aid her in accepting it.
Loved it ; should have taken it further.
.....this great story to finish - just brilliant , please take the time to write it ?
Amazing piece of work! But it seems like its been a long time since it was published and there is not a sequel yet but atleat you guys didnt disappear and keep the story half baked, waiting For the next part.
Glad to see in your bio about the stories you’re working on. I definitely want to see how these two can resolve their (her) problems. I would think being around his father and aunt will help her realize love is possible. Thank you
You cannot stop here. Please add to this story there is so much to tell here.
I will hunt you down and pull out your finger nails one at a time.LOL!
First thing I want to say is yes, reading the other stories first is an absolute must. It should be mandatory almost. Secondly this story is so great with the pacing and the build up and the little hints here and there from the other stories. I am so glad to see in your profile that you are deciding to continue all 3 of the story arcs and even adding a prequel. I look forward to seeing them get released.
Its been over 2 years since these three elements of the story were published. At the end of each you say 'to be continued'.
You are going to continue and draw them all to a proper ending, aren't you ?
Rapier
Your triple saga about Dan and Katie and their children is one of the best on Literotica. I just finished reading it all for the second time. I hope the next installment ties everything together for a great ending.
The story was good but incomplete. It's like walking out of a good movie halfway through. You need to publish a conclusion in order to give the first half any real value. If I had seen that you left the reader hanging, I wouldn't have even started it. It's been over two years. What's going on?
Who really cares if they are half siblings, if they don't have children? They should be allowed to continue to love each other after being separated by years and miles, when fate throws them together, they should have a chance for happiness, there are far too few chances for that nowadays. It was their parents' stupidity, so why should the children suffer? Let these two be more adult and visionary than their predecessors.
Also, thank you so much for beautiful writing style and well formed characters, I would not be so upset if these were two dimensional archetypes, but you have brought out emotion and feelings in this conflict.
Thank you, please write two or more chapters.
Don’t fucking leave us waiting too long.
There’s so much dross on this site through which to sift in the search for nuggets, and it takes far too long to find such a glorious trove, but you my dear couple never cease to raise the bar.
One “Susan/Suzan(ne) ” song that could be added to the next playlist would be the late Leonard Cohen’s masterpiece. The “tea and oranges all the way from China” lyric for some reason always left me veklempt - but I digress.
While your body of work to date is excellent, this particular story was particularly resonant for me because my wife’s name is Susan, and while due to our age -and several medical issues in her part - we longer share any meaningful physical intimacy, my pet name for her in those days was “Suse” -close enough to kindle a flicker of fond remembrance.
You guys definitely need to keep writing- quality work is always worth the wait.
Can't help but think that Suzan's path to acceptance with the familiar relevations to come - within your standards for reality check quality control - is what's giving you trouble. Looking forward to finding out how you resolve it.
Y'all wrote this segment almost two years ago, with a couple submissions in '16, but none this year. Are y'all going to submit some more to literotica? Just wondering. Sure would like to see the next chapter of this saga. Please...
Reread for the third time. Just love this trilogy and can't wait for the next chapter. Number one fan,Rick
I don't know what point you are in the continuation, but I hope it involves a lot of the science they learned together, solving the puzzle as a CSI might. On a side note. My late wife and I started out the same way. I was a little wistful for a bit and then the mention of "You had me from hello" which I told my wife must have been written about her and I. Because she did.
These stories will be completed and brought together for a time. The continuation of this storyline will address the taboo aspect of Tommy and Suzan's relationship. We are still writing on all three stories and a fourth related prequel.
-MM
I loved all three of your stories. I hope soon you tie in Unintended Consequences, Empty Nesters, and this one together. Despite the one comment who bitched about the first one, you do write well. Still working on my courage to write my first story but I look forward to the next one.
DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE STORY - IT GIVES AWAY THE ENDING.
The "Incest/Taboo" category is a harbor for titillating stories. The main driver for the titillation is the decision to engage in some form of sexual activity with a family member. In this story, the fact that their genetic relation comes as a surprise long after they're already a couple almost completely removes the taboo nature of the decision process. They decided quite innocently (and slowly) to engage in sexual relations, and then much later had the nasty surprise of half-siblingship sprung on them. By then, the moral dilemma is whether to stop doing what they had innocently done, rather than the much more taboo decision to initially start something that society tells them is wrong. This story lacks the moral quandary of the typical well-written "Incest/Taboo" story, primarily because their coupling is water under the bridge long before there's a dilemma to face. The story also meanders a bit, though I typically enjoy a good deal of background and character development. This one just takes too long to get to any form of conflict, and then it fails to resolve the conflict.
My comments here are meant to be constructive. The writing style otherwise is an enjoyable read. I will continue to look for stories posted by this author.
Wow great story. Very well put together. Although, the sex scenes tended to be a little boxy let it come more natural. Great job overall
Well, shit: I reached the end of this segment only to learn that you'd written it last year and I found nothing of yours in '16. Makes me wonder if there will be a next installment or conclusion. I like a romance story as well as the next person, especially when it contains a nice level of graphic sex. I hope you haven't quit or become incapacitated; I really would like to read more of this tale - I hate to be left hanging.
I dutifully slogged through the other two series in the suggested order. I really didn't like the first one at all - Zane is a stupid name, Adam is a whiny wuss, and the horrible grammar made it a tough read. The second series is much, much better, and the characters are likable. This is better still, though the revelation of Suzan's parentage is way, way too contrived. I'm glad there's more to come.
A sensuous and romantic story and I am loving it. Please keep going we are just getting to a good part of the journey for these couples.
Extraneous detail that detracts from the otherwise interesting story line. Also a few typos and spellcheck errors that together unnecessarily distract from the main story
These related stories are truly well written - but some where along the way there needs to be a clear and complete relationship chart - as a genealogy enthusiast
some one needs to lay out the biological relationships and the social relationships otherwise it becomes a confusing jumble
So glad to see your response that further episodes will be forthcoming.. Can't wait. Strong story lines, excellent pace, and above all such well honed and believable characters.
Please, please, please continue it. This story is very beautiful. I want to see how they resolve their issues. Please continue soon.
I thought the story was pretty good so far, but I just can't rate an unfinished story. The best beginning can be ruined by a bad ending and even a mediocre beginning can be improved by a great ending.
Hopefully we'll see the rest sometime soon...
Like others I am waiting for future chapters to be published.
Great story and loved the way you've connected all three stories. Can you at least give us eager fans a time frame as to when you will be done with the new chs and when they will be released?
Please attribute the lack of continuation to concern about getting the story correct. All three stories are underway, just not finished. They will be released when they are ready. -MM
This story was a freaking waste of time. The author evidently thought so too as he abandoned it!
Leaving us hanging again. I can't for the one story that brings these three together.
Nice storyline, believable characters! Looking forward to the crescendo!
So they are related. So what? They love each other completely. They should stick it out (sorry!) and get married. If necessary, they could always move to the State where incest is NOT illegal (I think it's Iowa but I'm not certain). There is a saying - which was used in the film "I Married a Witch" which is simple, to the point and true: "Love Conquers All". Remember, no one else appears to know......
We receive weekly e-mails and comments to continue the Trilogy. We are working to finish them all. We're also working on a separate prequel/back story line about Dan and Katie's family. The Christmas visit of Tommy and Suzan to visit his father (Dan) will feature all three couples, but there won't be any mixing.
The parallel stories you have entered are very well written and the characters are believable. What I would like to see is all of them get pulled together and resolved in one final epic. Looking forward to the conclusion! Banjoman88
You are a good writer, but your fans want more.....This and "Page" are both hanging. Time to close out the story lines. Give us our happy endings PLEASE! Or, at least finish them up.
All 5* stories and ALL UNFINISHED. Please Finish all three even in one story which would tie them closer together. Possible story line.... Susan needs convincing and oh boy it's gonna happen with a BOOM over the Christmas Holiday!!! Just a thought...
Excellent writing and a thought provoking story.
I hope you finish this one.
They seem likeable characters, you've written them such that I hope they stay together.
Top notch work.
Loved this work. I wait in anticipation of the sequel.
You cant put us in such patience. This story is awesome as well as others . We hope u write a sequel as soon as possible. We literally are anticipating
I was really disappointed that the story has no real ending
These stories are three of the best I have read on here. No strangers to interfere in their struggle with themselves and parent. There is only one other story I have read and it was fantastic with them reaching old age with a huge family of kids and grandkids. Please let this finish that way where both sets of siblings eventually live happily ever after.
I loved all three of your stories and the way they are interlinked, but in all three of them you say to be continued. Two of them have not been continued past the second chapter and this one never got a second chapter. I find that fustraiting since I loved all three stories and I would love to be able to read the all to conclusion,
A few years ago DQS1 cured me of reading unfinished stories when he screwed over all of us with his WWWM Serial.
I gave this 5 Stars because it was such a good beginning. DON'T LEAVE US HANGING!!!
I must say I am devouring your works and look forward to you finishing this one since it has gotten its hooks in me please continue your great work
After all the build up...all the individual stories...nothing since June 2015?
We would like to see an ending to this story. Enjoyed reading it so far.
This is a wonderful plot!
A story well thought and written. Please add more chapters quickly
You really need to continue this story ... please!
Thanks.
The subtlety, depth, compassion, love and heat of these related stories has been an amazing gift to your readers, Never have I enjoyed a story more (and I read a lot) or cared so deeply about the lives of characters. Wishing them all the lasting happiness their dear sweet hearts and spirits deserve!
You are a brilliant writing team, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You !!!!!!!!!!!