Ann Ch. 02

"But you have just met me?"

"Yes and no. I have had a few daily conversations with you for months. Well - in my head, and sometimes spoken when I was alone. I don't know if I have guessed your personality right, but it was an experiment to build up artificial confidence. I think it worked."

"And did I say some wise words?"

"Plenty, Mist... I am sorry, but I have called you Mistress all the time. In the beginning, I did not know your name."

Jenny reached over the table and took my hands. We sat for a while, just looking at each other. My courage had suddenly dropped to a low level by opening my mind up.                           

"You are awesome! I envy your determination. And yes, you may call me Mistress when you feel for it, but if you are wearing a collar, it is always Mistress. For now, Jenny is good enough. We are here as friends on a first date."

The waiter came with our beverages and some bruschetta.

Jenny lifted her glass.

"Welcome, Happy birthday, and thanks for showing up."

"Thanks for inviting me. I have still got the feeling that this is a dream."

"I have heard that you shall pinch people that think they are dreaming."

Jenny reached over and pinched my right nipple. Luckily, I had just put my glass back on the table, because I was taken by surprise, gave a jerk, and said 'Ouch'. Embarrassed, I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone had noticed. I had my back to the wall and could only see empty seats through the door opening.

"You pinch their arms!"

"Relax, Tuesdays are often quiet here, so no one will be seated where they can see us. Antonio is a good friend of mine, and he knows that we are on a date. No one will disturb us."

"Do you eat here often?"

"As I am lousy in a kitchen, I eat here perhaps every second week. At least once a month we are a bunch of friends here, filling this room."

I looked around. There were two tables with two seats and two tables with four.

"Twelve friends?"

"Well, almost. Usually, we are six regulars, and often we are four or five more. They are really nice girls."

Of course, Jenny had a lot of friends. I hadn't. Well, now I had one, and eventually, I would get to know her friends too. I hadn't considered the fact that if I got a girlfriend as a part of my life, I would be a part of her life too. Slowly, I began to realize that my life was about to change to a degree that I was unable to comprehend at the moment.

I didn't know what to say, so I took a bite of the bruschetta. It was very good, with a rich taste of tomatoes and just a slight hint of garlic. Jenny took a bite too.

"I like garlic, but they know that I cannot go to work, smelling of it. The chef knows exactly how much he can use."

"That is impressive. They must know you very well."

"I am a regular, and Antonio and I are good friends."

"He is the chef?"

"No, he's our waiter. He is married to the chef. They run the business together."

"And you are not friends with his wife?"

"What wife? Antonio is married to Fred. And yes, Fred is a friend too, but I am a closer friend to Antonio."

"Sorry, I am not used to gay and lesbian friends. Of course, they live and marry like everyone else."

"Yes, we do. Sorry, I was testing you. It was so tempting."

"I will do my best not to walk into that trap again. I am so sorry that I was thinking hetero-normatively."

"No offense taken. I know that you have opened a door to a new and unknown world. I am trying to educate you a bit. Don't feel embarrassed - I know that it takes a while to adapt to a wider mindset."

"I will do my very best. After all - I feel that it will be my life from now on. I've read so much about it and I was comfortable with almost everything."

"You did some research? I'll test you a bit. Which of us has got the power?"

"As I have understood, I have the power. I give it to you, expecting you to know my limits. If you don't know them, we need to talk about them before the fun starts, or perhaps communicate in speech or nonverbal throughout the session. If you use more power than I give you, like you overstep my limits, I might be turned off sexually. What use do you have of a sub not being horny, but angry?"

"You are perfectly right. And how do I know your limits if we haven't talked about them - like yesterday?"

"I don't think you would have been able to overstep anyone's limits yesterday - except if I was homophobic or claustrophobic." I thought of the situation where I was on my back, covered by the satin sheet. "But I had a kind of safeword in round one - my hands. I liked that - it felt like I was tied up."

"Yes, that was the purpose. And for the nonverbal communication - you did very fine yesterday, I had no problems reading you. By the way, your safeword will be 'Circus'. You can use it to pause the game if your nose itches, or if something has to be negotiated. It can lead to a change in what we are doing or a complete stop. I am normally very observant, and I have very seldom heard a safeword. You mentioned it yesterday, but explain again why the safeword cannot be just STOP?"

"If you are about to do things to me that I feel fine to be forced to endure, I can keep my mental innocence by protesting. I can yell 'stop', but I know that the game will continue. I guess you can understand the 'stop' as a 'please go on, I am ok with it'. In that way, we can communicate like in a roleplay, and I can tell in nuances how I feel. I understand the importance of feedback during the game - I am not supposed to be a big lump of dead meat, that doesn't tell you about anything until it is too late and the safeword is popped."

"What an insight from a newbie! You have really been around on the internet."

"I have read some blogs and 101's on the web. I have even stumbled across an online copy of 'Coming to Power'. It was interesting to read about women in the same situation as I am, getting used to an experimental sexuality. And it was even back in the seventies and eighties, where BDSM and lesbianism couldn't be combined, according to the feminists."

"I am still very impressed. When you do things, you go all the way. I like that"

We were interrupted by Antonio who brought us two steaming plates with some delicious lamb meat. We took the first bites in silence. It was really good. Jenny lifted her glass again.

"To a nice evening with a lovely girl."

"Just my words."

It was a good wine, and with the dish it was perfect.

"You have seen the term SSC?"

"Yes. I have understood that our interactions should be sane, safe, and consensual. Not doing something stupid, risky, or dangerous, and only doing things that we both are comfortable with. I find it self-evident, but apparently, there are people out there with no human insight."

"You have just gotten an A in research. I can add my own: REST. Can you guess that?"

"No, I don't think so."

"It is the four things that have to be present for a session, and in fact, for making a relationship work. Respect, Empathy, Sympathy, and Trust. It goes both ways."

"That makes sense." I thought it over once more and nodded.

"No more technical questions. This isn't a job interview."

"Isn't a first date in fact, always a job interview?"

Jenny laughed.

"Yes, in a way you are perfectly right about that. All right - the last question then: You mentioned in the car that you were 'probably a sub of a kind'. Can you put more words on that? Perhaps relate it to what we did yesterday? I know it is a big one."

"Phew, it is! I have watched a lot of porn. In the last year, I have focused more and more on lesbians, BDSM, fetishism, and such things. I have tried to identify what turns me on, and what roles I recognize myself in. My fantasies go in all directions. I get turned on by bound girls, caged girls, punished girls, spanking and caning, and girls in all sorts of sexy clothes. A common factor here is, that they are girls. In some of my fantasies, I am servicing a Mistress with cooking, cleaning, sex, just everything, and when she doesn't need me, I am held caged or chained in different ways."

"And if you are caged - let's say an entire day - what would you do? Wouldn't you get bored? I know that I might ruin a fantasy, but have you thought of that?"

"Yes, I have. And I haven't concluded anything yet. I have tried to lie on my bed an entire evening, eyes closed, keeping myself from masturbating. I imagined that I was in a cage. My mind was running wild with other fantasies, and finally, I just had to masturbate. After that, I opened my eyes and discovered that I had been there for 3 hours. I still have that fantasy, and I hope that a Mistress can guide me further in that direction."

"You have a creative way of thinking - and you are not burdened with shame of your fantasies. I like that. You are thinking of cages. What if your Mistress punishes you? Would that scare you?"

"Perhaps not. I intend to serve her well. If I fail to do something, a punishment might be in place. I have watched porn videos with girls being whipped and caned. I like the idea of being punished without breaking me, and by that making my Mistress proud of me. Being in a cage might appeal to me because I am inexperienced and I really don't know what's expected of me."

Jenny stared at me. I couldn't guess why. Then she shook her head and said with a sigh:

"Girl, you are not of this world. How come that you know all the right answers to your concerns? I like the way you pretended to be in a cage."

"I had no Mistress, and I was curious ..."

"Have you tried to act out other fantasies? Like self-bondage and such things?"

"Not really. I have spent a day cooking and cleaning naked, but it wasn't like being forced to do it. Tying myself up doesn't appeal to me. The only thing I have toyed with is clothespins. I like them very much."

Gee, here I was, spilling my thoughts, fantasies, and sex acts to a woman that I met yesterday. I felt mentally naked.

"Speaking about toys, have you got other toys to play with?"

"I had a cheap dildo. Mail ordered. There was a lousy vibrator in it, but I prefer my fingers. I used it for penetration too, but I didn't like that very much."

"You have given me some useful information. I know you much better now, and together we will be able to get you safe in the right harbor."

Jenny smiled at me, and I smiled back. I thought that I was very lucky to have met her, and I would do everything to make her satisfied with me. Not just because I wouldn't lose her - I really, wanted to do things for her, making her happy and contented. I wanted to submit myself and add to her well-being.

"I feel safe with you. The way you cared for me yesterday was fantastic. I felt secure and loved. The way you trapped me under the sheet was a nice experience, and in harmony with my fantasies - being confined to a space of your choice, not mine. And in the second round, you let me be active and try to control you. I could to a certain point, but then you forced me to expose myself further to gain pleasure. I am hooked on being controlled now, more than ever before."

I finished my dinner by scraping the last bits on my fork. Jenny had finished a few minutes ago, but I had been busy talking. I am not used to talking and eating at the same time.

"This was delicious. Thanks for guiding me to taste it."

"You are welcome, Hon."

"It is really surrealistic to me to sit and talk about sex and fantasies in a restaurant. Somehow, I feel that it is ok when I am with you."

"Perhaps it is because sex is almost the only thing, we have been talking about. I see it as a good start, and you have impressed me with your open mind and the way you share your thoughts. You notice details and evaluate them. We need to talk about other things too. But not now."

Jenny reached out and held my hands. We sat a minute or two in silence, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes.

"Your turn."

Jenny squeezed my hands.

"My turn? To what?"

"It goes both ways. As I have applied for the position as your Mistress, I assume that you have some questions."

I giggled.

"Just a minute."

Think, Ann! Think! Think fast! I cleared my voice:

"You mentioned in Your application that You are a Domme. How do You see Yourself in that role, which aspects of BDSM do You favorite, and what measures will You take to obtain the necessary discipline among Your subordinates? You may omit certain aspects of Your answers if they conflict with secrets or future surprises."

I managed to suppress a giggle. Jenny's eyes widened, and she laughed.

"I have never been asked that! You are precious!"

We still held hands. I let her hands go and leaned back with my arms crossed over my chest. A signal to Jenny to begin.

"I am a fair and caring Domme. I see subs as humans and individuals, with their needs and dreams. I like to explore them, to find their secrets, even the ones that they are not aware of. To let them discover their sexuality and develop into a person in harmony is precious to me. I enjoy challenging them in that process, and I appreciate a challenge for myself from time to time. I like to control subs. You will feel my presence. Always. And I have rules for you to follow. I pick your clothes for each day."

This time it was my eyes that got big.

"Relax, Hon. I will respect your appearance, both at work and in other situations. Sometimes, extreme examples make sense: Let's say I let your hair cut in a mohawk and dye it green. Will you return to me after work the next day? Not likely. I'll lose you. I haven't got more power than you give me. You said that yourself."

"I understand. And the rules?"

"You shaved before we met. Do you like to be shaved?"

"Yes, I do, Mistress. I like the naked feeling, though it is new to me."

"I like that you are shaved too. You shave because we both want it. Why not play a game, saying that you are not allowed to have pubic hair?"

"Yes, that is the same!"

"No, it isn't. If you shave because we both want it and forget it for a few days, so be it. But with a rule, you'll get a demerit."

"And I will be punished?"

"Yes, you will. Not a real cruel and unbearable punishment, but something that would add to the game we are playing. Another example: Masturbation is forbidden. You are not allowed to obtain an orgasm on your own. I own all your orgasms, and you are not allowed any without my consent. It sounds harsh, but what I am saying is: I will usually give you all the sex that you need, and I wish to be present every time you cum, because I enjoy it."

"It sounds so easy and appealing. Explain that 'usually', please."

"I might be tempted to keep you from orgasms a day or two. Or three. The purpose will probably be to get you ready for an intense session. It might be a punishment too, but then you have earned it."

"So you picked my clothes this morning as one of your kinks?"

Jenny nodded.

"Thanks. I had been in about 6 shops before I read the flower print. And you like to soak tracksuits?"

"Guilty. Manipulating is controlling. But I use it sparsely."

Jenny didn't even look guilty, let alone sorry in any way. She just sat there, smiling at me.

"It is alright. I forgive you. I have enjoyed every minute of it, being forced to dress like that. I wouldn't have asked for it, let alone dressing like that on my own initiative. Apparently, I like being forced to do things that I want, but don't dare to do. I guess it makes me feel that it is ok to do things because I am forced to do them."

"Either you are a fast learner, a fast thinker, and reflect on everything you hear and read, or you have been lying and have been in a BDSM relationship for at least a year!"

"No, Mistress. I have been cheating by reading blogs, stories, and fantasies. But only now I can relate it to something in my life. I have a last question for You if I may ask it."

"Sure, go ahead, Hon!"

"Are you a - what is it called? - a high protocol Domme? With honorifics?"

"At times, I wish I was. It is difficult to be in a normal relationship and keep up the appearance of an untouchable Goddess. Most subs need to be treated like humans and feel love as if they belong in a relationship. But I like to be a Goddess for a day once in a while, and I truly enjoy being strict and demanding. But don't fear it - I will only use the power, that you give me. And here in the beginning, I will not do anything like that. We'll cross that bridge if and when you are ready, not a second earlier. Are you worried that it will be too much for you?"

"Yes, in a way I am. I find you very attractive, and I am hooked on the way you treat me. I wish to serve you and please you. Your way of having rules makes me feel safe. Most of the things, you have mentioned, match my fantasies. I like my fantasies. I fear that some of them are too tough and not fun at all. That would disappoint me."

"There is always the danger that you lose a good fantasy because it was only meant to be a fantasy for you. But you have just entered my favorite amusement park, and I am about to give you a guided tour of some of the attractions. We begin with the benches by the flower beds and some other innocent stuff. The ride on the big roller coaster is not for you today, tomorrow, or next month. You'll need to be ready first, and if you never get to that point, we'll do something else."

Antonio came by and asked, how the dinner had been. I looked at the empty plates and said that it had been very good and tasty. I added a question:

"I could taste the rosemary, but there was something else. What was that?"

"It was sage, Miss Ann. Sage and some olive oil, salt, and pepper."

"Thanks. It was great! You know my name?"

"Jenny mentioned it yesterday when she booked the table. Do you want anything for dessert?"

Jenny took the lead:

"Can we have coffee and tiramisu? In perhaps 20 minutes?"

Jenny wanted apparently that we talked some more. I didn't mind - it was nice and cozy to be with her, and I thought that we came closer to each other. At least I knew her better now, and though she was an experienced Domme, I felt safe with her and convinced that it would work fine between us.

"Sure. 20 minutes."

Antonio left, and we were alone again.

"You booked the table yesterday?"

"Yes, on my way to get the laundry. I was pretty sure that you'd say yes, and if not, I would have invited some friends. By the way - the position you were in when we met in the laundry room - was that chosen on purpose?"

"Yes it was. I googled slave positions and decided that this was the best for the purpose. There are many positions and several systems with different names for the same position, but I liked that position and its name of it: 'Humble'.

"Do you remember other positions?"

"I remember one called 'nadu', and one called 'kneel'. I like that, kneeling and having my arms on my back. Like being waiting and exposed."

"I don't fancy loads of positions, but I like a few of them. If you leave your shoes under the table, can you kneel here?"

Jenny pointed at the floor between the table and the wall. She wanted me to kneel for her in a public place? I lost my breath for a few seconds, and my heart probably skipped a few beats too. I looked around; we were still alone, and I could see no one through the door opening. The spot, she wanted me to kneel on, was even more hidden behind the table. I decided to play the game and go all in - after all, that was why I was dating her. I removed my shoes and knelt where she wanted me, almost at her side, and held my arms on my back.

"Good girl! Now, this position is fine, but there is another similar position that I like. It is called 'collaring' in some of the systems. Do you remember that?"

To be honest, I couldn't. There were at least 5 different systems, some of them with more than 15 different positions. I had counted 30 positions in one of the systems. But a similar position to be ready to be collared?