Anna von Kleev Ch. 05: Survival

I went over and hugged the weeping bride.

"What do you mean, 'nothing,' something must have happened?"

I sat with her on the bed and held her tight. I waited for the sobbing to abate. My heart was beating like a drum announcing the battle; this was a disaster.

"Tell all darling."

Between the sobs she managed to get her story out. As no one needs to read "sobs" every five words, imagine they are there.

"He came to me. I did what you said. I tried to kiss him. I told him how handsome I thought him. He then lifted my nightgown, but the moment he smelt me he looked sick. He said that I smelt awful. I did what you said and tried to touch between his legs, but there was no hard thing. You said he would be hard. He wasn't. He said I stank like a sewer, and he could not mate with me. He got angry and left."

It seemed as though King Henry did not like the scent of ripe pussy. It also seemed as though he had failed to get an erection. I held her tight, my mind working overtime trying to gauge the consequences. Could Henry execute her? I had no idea what charge he would use, but he had a history of coming up with them when he needed to. No consummation meant that the marriage could be annulled, so that might spare her head, but the fact remained that this was a bonfire of our hopes.

I lay with Anna, holding her, but was careful to leave for my own room before the maids came to wake her.

The atmosphere in the Palace was eerie. The ribald laughter of the night before had been replaced by a menacing silence.

Anna was still in tears when I went in to see her, and the ladies-in-waiting fluttered around her like headless chickens, with the exception of Katherine Howard, who asked for a private word.

"There was no blood on the sheets, and the king, I am told, has been in his rooms all night."

I was not going to give Katherine anything to gossip about, and so simply confirmed that her words were correct.

"But what happened?"

"That," I said brusquely, "is between man and wife."

Seeing that she was not going to get anything out of me, she left. I went to find Cromwell who was in his study literally tearing at his hair. He scowled when he saw me.

"What the fuck happened? How the fuck did nothing happen? Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

I knew I'd regret it the moment the words passed my lips, but I have no more been able to keep a hot coal in my mouth than I have witty repartee.

"That is precisely what did not happen. No fucks were given."

For a moment I thought he was going to throw something at me, but instead he gave a huge belly laugh, finally releasing the pent-up tension.

"Oh Lady Philippa, how can you joke?"

"Oh come on," I giggled, "after all this he could not get it up and fuck my lady."

He looked poleaxed.

"What? He said he found her smelly."

"Oh," I commented sarcastically, "a man failing to get an erection blames it on the woman? What a fucking surprise!"

"Is that really what happened?"

"My lady has no reason to lie, and that is what she told me."

"Damn, and blast," he exclaimed, "what the hell do we do now? Do you want to see him?"

"Me, no, that's the last thing he needs, seeing her chief lady in waiting. I am going back to see Anna, and I suggest that after you have talked with the king, we see what we can do to retrieve whatever we can from this unholy mess."

I could see why Cromwell was worried. The marriage had been his plan, and unless Henry's character suddenly changed and he started to take responsibility for his own actions, the blame for the fiasco would land firmly on Cromwell's shoulders - which might mean they would soon be lacking a head.

That strange menacing silence brooded over the Palace the whole day. It felt funereal, which did not help Cromwell's mood, or that of my lady.

"I don't know what I did wrong, Pippa. What is going to happen?"

"I will sort it out," I said, with ten times more confidence in my voice than I felt in my heart, but there was no use showing weakness in front of Anna, who needed me to be strong.

I told her that much as I wanted to soothe her in the way only I could, that was not a good idea, we had no idea if or when Henry would summon her, and the very last thing we needed was to be caught in the act; it would be off with both of our heads. It was frustrating not to be able to give physical shape to my attempts to comfort her, but the alternative was too dangerous.

The only person in the Palace to look at all cheerful, was Katherine Howard who tried again and again to press me for details about what had, or had not, happened; but even had I been inclined to gossip, I should not have trusted her.

There was no sign of Henry. That, in itself, intensified the feeling of crisis. I was grateful when I was told that the King was going back to St James' Palace. I saw Cromwell before they left. He looked deflated.

"This is a disaster. He wants a divorce and to be shot of her. He is blaming me for the whole thing. Norfolk looks like the cat who has swallowed the cream. Do you have any ideas?"

Such a direct appeal to a mere woman showed the desperate straits in which he found himself.

"For now, do nothing. The marriage was unconsummated, so an annulment is possible, but to come so soon after the wedding would be to invite unwelcome comment."

He nodded.

"Yes, I agree. But he says that while you are welcome to stay here, he does not want to see the Queen again - ever."

As he turned and went, I pondered our options.

We had few cards. There was a marriage contract, and that was it. With two divorces and a beheading, a marriage contract offered little in the way of security with such a man.

I dismissed the ladies-in-waiting after supper, and retired to Anna's chamber.

I told her what Cromwell had said, but again (with more fervour than cause) reassured her that all would be well. She looked at me.

"What would I do without you, Pippa?"

My heart went out to her. I loved her so. None of this was her fault, and I wanted to soothe her. I helped her undress, and she helped me, until we lay together in our shifts on her bed. Looking into her blue eyes I said:

"If that fool does not want you, I do."

So saying, I lifted her shift to reveal her womanhood, before settling between her thighs and breathing on her wetness. She sighed as my breath covered her clit, which was already peeking from her cover. Restraining my urge to lick and suck for all I was worth, I put her needs first, lifting her thighs onto my shoulders so that I could lick from her clit to her arse in one, long, sensuous lick. She shifted as my tongue teased first her puckered dark hole, and then moved slowly along her perineum until it made contact with her wetness.

What, I wondered, was wrong with Henry, that this tangy taste and musky scent did not arouse the man? Using my fingers to tease her lips apart, my tongue worked her way along her inner lips, just dipping between her folds occasionally to taste her more fully, before finally, and teasingly, brushing her clit, before sliding downwards once more. I allowed my lips to tug on her pendulous labia. By that time Anna was gripping my hair and moaning loudly.

"Oh Pippa, Pippa, suck me, suck me please!"

Much as I wanted to do just that, I wanted to prolong the teasing even more, knowing how much a delay would arouse her.

I looked up:

"Who is in charge of this pussy?"

Gasping the words, she said: "You are, you own me."

"Good girl!" I said, before finally doing what we both wanted, and lashing her clit with my tongue. Her thighs glistened, wet with her own juices and my saliva.

"Oh Miss, Miss, I want you to take my maidenhead!"

So did I, but with the threat of Henry hanging over us, that was not happening, so I took her mind off it by simultaneously sucking her clit and fingering her asshole.

Instinctively she pushed herself onto my questing finger, which twisted in the wetness that had accumulated there, and pressed her open, even as I munched on her clit.

Anna was not lost out on the vast erotic ocean of our lovemaking. I wanted her to feel how much she was loved, how much she was desired, and above all, how utterly wrong Henry had been to reject her untried.

I had often thought that if I tried, I could spend half the night between those matchless thighs, so I enjoyed myself bringing her close to climax and then edging her away. Knowing her desire for penetration, I brought her to climax only after my finger had taken her in the ass, and she clenched and moaned hard as she coated my face with her nectar. That first orgasm was swiftly followed by two more and then a series of aftershocks which had her whimpering and moaning my name.

As I looked up, she looked down, her face red and eyes wet.

"Oh my daring, I want to do something for your pleasure."

Smiling, knowing what a glistening wet mess my own face was, I told her the truth:

"You did and you do."

That night was about her, but also about us. My pleasure really did lie in hers, and as we fell asleep together, I was just glad that I could bring such happiness to the woman I loved.

As the next few days passed without incident, the household adapted itself to the anomalous situation. One cannot live on a knife's edge for too long. The one thing that changed was that two days after the wedding, we were told that Katherine Howard was being transferred to the King's household.

"What can that mean, Pippa?" Anna asked.

From anyone else such naiveté would have been laughable, but Anna really was an ingenue.

"It means he needs someone to fuck," I told her bluntly. "But look on the bright side, he is not wasting your time."

"When can you fuck me, Pippa?"

That was the question which preoccupied us both.

"As long as the king fails to declare his wishes, you have to remain a virgin, Anna. If you are deflowered, he can declare that you are an adulteress, and have you executed; I think it worth waiting to avoid that fate.

I could not help smiling at her pout, but she accepted the logic.

Cromwell wrote to me at the end of the week, asking me to call on him at the court on the Monday. But when I did, I found that not much had changed - except for his disposition. He was gloomier than the last time I had seen him.

"The king is exasperating. He told me to tell Southampton, the man who arranged your transport her, that the marriage was unconsummated, but it appears the fool has told half of London, and now the king is giving me the evil eye."

"You did what!" I could not help exclaiming.

"The king told me to."

"So, now you are not only responsible for this shipwreck of a marriage, but for besmirching the king's virility! What were you thinking?"

He looked shaken.

"How was I to know that the man would gossip?"

I left, convinced that Cromwell had lost his touch and that his sun was setting. It was thus no surprise when, on the following day, I received an invitation to the Duke of Norfolk's palace.

He was a tall, imposing man with a great aquiline nose resembling the beak of a hawk. A quiet smile played around his thin lips.

"I wanted to meet you, Lady Philippa, as I am told you have the intelligence of a man."

"Thank you, your Grace," I said, hoping I sounded suitably flattered. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, you know my niece, Katherine? The king has taken a shine to her, and I want to clear the way for a marriage. But your lady lies in its way."

"I am sure, your Grace, that given the right inducements, I could persuade my lady to follow the path you desire. What would you say to my suggesting to Master Cromwell that there should be an annulment of the marriage on the ground of the prior betrothal of my lady?"

He looked keenly interested.

"She and her family would agree to that?"

"With the right inducements," I smiled sweetly.

"What had you in mind?"

I had pondered this for some time, so it was time to lay out my stall.

"There should be an amicable end to the marriage, with the king allowing my lady an income and a palace here, and a status befitting say, the sister of a king. That would placate her family, make the humiliation of the annulment bearable to my lady, and establish the king's generosity. It could be done swiftly, and there could be a summer wedding."

I felt his eyes try to bore into my soul; I silently wished him luck. I could bluff with the best. It was a big package I was asking for, but as it would be Henry and not Norfolk footing the bill, I had made my opening bid as expansive as possible. We were not going back to Cleves, and we needed an assured position in England.

"You could persuade Cromwell of this?"

"I could, but I should need to know that it had your support. His star wanes, yours rises, and women naturally turn their eyes to the rising sun."

"You have a shrewd mind my lady. It is a lot that you bid for."

"And it is a lot that the Howards will gain, your Grace."

"I see we understand each other, my lady."

I smiled sweetly.

"We do, your Grace. Do I have your word as a gentleman?"

"You do, Accomplish what you have set your name to, and all you have asked for will be granted."

That, as it transpired, was easier than I had imagined, not least as I was able to create an auction of promises by telling Cromwell that what Norfolk was offering was not enough, and then using the same gambit with Cromwell. The final settlement brought a smile to Anna's face, and satisfied her brother that the family honour was intact. The final settlement granted her the honoured title of "the King's Sister," and bestowed on her Henry VII's Richmond Palace and the former childhood home of Anne Boleyn, Hever Castle. She also received an annual income of £500 as well as revenue from several estates. She was allowed to keep all her dresses, jewels, and a valuable metal plate.

"Pippa. How did you do it?"

No one would ever eat a sausage if they saw how it was made, and the same was true of this settlement, so I simply said that the king had been anxious to show he was not a bad man, and added:

"It also allows him to marry Katherine Howard in July."

There was, alas, one casualty - Cromwell.

As he had feared, Henry blamed him for the marriage and, as I had feared, held him responsible about the gossip about the non-consummation. This allowed Norfolk to persuade the king to strip him of his titles and wealth and condemn him to death. He was executed on 28 July 1450, the same day that Henry married Katherine Seymour. As a gesture of goodwill, we even attended the ceremony.

We made the journey back to Richmond Palace by boat. The Thames looked beautiful, and as we passed under the bridge, I could see the herons roosting in the willow trees which over hung the river. As we disembarked and walked into the castle, I thought to myself that this was one of the most beautiful spots in England. I turned to my lady and said:

"Let us dine then let us retire."

She looked at me.

"Can it be tonight?"

"Well, my darling, having come from one wedding which will, of a certainty be consummated tonight, there is no longer any impediment to my taking you as a husband takes a wife."

"Do we have to dine?"

"I shall tell the cook to have some cold collects set by for later."

Of all the nights with my lady, that night is the one that will remain with me as long as I live.

Any tiredness lifted as we entered the bedchamber. I had arranged with the house staff that it was our room, with a bed suited to a married couple. The housekeeper was well paid to keep her mouth shut, and I had made it clear that any gossip would result not only in instant dismissal, but probably in execution. Henry's name held a power of terror.

I stripped Anna naked, kissing her body from her lips to her toes and back, slowly easing her back onto the bed, as I rid myself of my last garments. Parting her thighs, I lay between them, my lips peppering her lithe body with kisses. As I slid up to kiss her sweet lips, I felt our nipples rub together, which made us both gasp. Our mouths met, our tongues played, with mine pushing hers under and taking her there, even as my left hand slid between her thighs and then, without hesitation, I pressed firmly, feeling her maidenhead break and allow my fingers access. She gasped, giving a low, throaty moan.

"I had thought it would hurt."

"You were more than ready my darling."

As my fingers finally entered her wetness, I marvelled at just how wet she was, and my fingers squelched as they curled in and up, exploring her virgin pussy.

"You are mine, Anna, mine!"

"Oh Pippa, yes, yes, I am your woman, life and death I am yours for ever."

I felt a rough patch as my fingers explored, and as I touched her there, her groaning grew louder, which made me move my fingers faster, coated as they were in her thick, gooey juices. I felt her move her hips up and down, craving the penetration. Venturing that she could take another thickness of my slender little fingers, I added a third, which made her grunt and press herself down on me even harder. The palm of my hand pressed the top of her vulva as she began to moan ever louder.

"Take me, take me, take me!"

She wanted me that way. I wanted her too.

My lips fastened on her swollen left nipple and so passionate was I that I bit it, which made her pivot on my fingers with even more vigour. As my palm slammed into her, I could feel her tensing and bit her right nipple. Her pussy clenched tight, and she came and came and came, drenching my hand and bed sheets with her nectar.

"Kiss me wife," she panted. So I did.

"Am I your wife too?" I asked, softly.

"Yes, wife and wife, and we shall be for ever."

I kissed those sweet lips a dozen times, before snuggling against her and pulling the covers over us. She looked into my eyes:

"You said we would survive, and we have, my love, we have prospered."

"I would not tell you wrong my love. Now, let me taste you."

"Fie, my wife, let me return the favour."

So I lay back and thought of Cleves, and how we were never going back there.