Anna von Kleev Ch. 04: Unconsummated

The difference between Henry VIII and a bear with a sore head would have been hard to discern in those first days of the year of Our Lord 1540. On New Year's Day itself, the only sight we had of him was as a far from benign presence in the background - like some raging storm about to break on us all. You could have cut the tension with a knife.

Anna, bless her, wanted to know what she should do.

"Leave it to me. I shall see Master Cromwell after he and the king have finished their business."

In truth, I was not keen to see Cromwell, beginning to fear the worst. This, after all, was a man who, if rumour was to be credited, had chosen to believe malign rumours about his second wife in order to have her executed so he could marry her lady-in-waiting. After nearly a quarter of a century of marriage to Katherine of Aragon, he had the union annulled on the ground she had been married to his deceased older brother, something he knew when he married her. In short there were no lengths to which he would not go in order to rid himself of a wife who was superfluous to his desires. My lady stood in danger.

What I did not do with her was tell her of my own calculations. Had she asked, I should have had to have admitted that the best hope would be that he annulled the marriage on the ground of her prior betrothal to the Duke of Lorraine; the worst would be some trumped up charge on order to have her executed. It was imperative that I played the one card I had well. When I saw Cromwell in the late morning, I did just that.

"I am sorry my lady, but the king will not wed your mistress, he likes her not, and there is an end of it."

"I am sorry my lord, but I must ask to speak to the king."

"You will get nowhere. I have failed to prevail."

"In which case, my lord, I have naught to lose. Would the king take some food and wine with me?"

Cromwell looked at me.

"Your mistress is a fortunate woman. I will do as you ask, but do not blame me if this fires itself back on you."

"I shall not, my lord."

And so it was that I found myself breaking bread with the king.

I curtsied low when I came into the royal presence, and he bade me sit and eat with him.

I did so, in silence.

"I thought you would plead the cause of your lady, has the cat got your tongue, Lady Philippa?"

"No, your highness. The world knows you are a man of iron will whose wisdom cannot be questioned."

Smiling broadly, he said:

"You surprise me, my lady."

"I was simply thinking, your majesty, of how unfortunate it would be if the world were to think the worse of you because you changed your mind, seemingly on a whim. I was, of course, your highness, thinking also of the sadness of my lady."

"What do you mean, Lady Philippa?"

"Well, you have made a strategic marriage in the interests of your kingdom and the Protestant cause. How happy the Kings of Spain and France will be to see that alliance shattered forever. And my lady, having seen your great handsomeness, how will she deal with a broken heart?"

"But Master Cromwell told you of how she reacted at our first meeting."

"You mean as a young virgin should when a strange man attempts to lure her? She thought it a trial of her virtue my lord. Is it not desirable to have a wife who has eyes only for you?"

"You make good points my lady. But tell me more."

"Nay, your highness, what has a maid such as I to tell a king about love? But I would say two things only: she would be faithful unto death; and it cannot have escaped your majesty's eyes, that a lady with such broad hips might prove mother to many a royal boy."

At that, his eyes seemed to light up.

"Aye, you have a point there."

"But of course, my lord king, if you cannot stand to look at her face, there's an end of it."

He broke into a laugh.

"What amuses my king?"

"Nay, 'tis not a word for a woman."

I smiled back.

"Was my lord king perhaps thinking that he did not need to look at the chimney when he was poking the fire?"

He burst into what could only be described as a lascivious laugh.

"You are a lady of mettle, my lady Philippa."

"Well, if I might venture another my lord king, I have heard you described my lady as a 'Flanders mare,' and I would simply say that in such mating, the sire does not see his brood mare face to face."

"By God, my lady, I would say you are a venturesome woman."

"Oh, my lord king does me too much honour, I am a simple woman and never have known a man."

For a moment I thought that I might have pushed matters too far, as he seemed to loom closer to me. The question of what to do should he make an attempt on my virtue, was spared by a page announcing that Master Cromwell wished to join us.

"Your highness, my apologies, but the Council wish to know your intent."

"Do they, now?" Henry looked at him coolly. Cromwell later explained that he had been so anxious that I had been with the king for so long that he made up a reason for disturbing us. I smiled when he told me, but thought it better not to tell him what had been said.

"My intent my Lord is that I should test this new royal bride. I am surprised you ask, since it was you, yourself, who talked so much about the Protestant alliance, and I would not break that for no good reason, nor, as I was explaining to Lady Philippa, would I besmirch my good name. So let us proceed to Greenwich on the sixth where all is, I trust, prepared for the wedding."

Cromwell with his mouth open looked even more porcine than usual, and it took an effort on my part not to laugh.

"So, Cromwell, get on with it man! Thank you, Lady Philippa, we shall see you and your lady in London on January the sixth."

I curtsied low and thanked him.

Outside Cromwell told me why he had come in.

"How on earth did you do it? When I left him, he was all for sending you back to Cleves."

"I have my methods my lord, and a lady does not like to show all."

He gave me the most curious look.

"You didn't?"

"Didn't what, my lord? All I did was to explain why the king would be wise to go with your clever plan. Was that not what you paid me for?"

He grinned. I had given him an explanation which made sense in his world - money. The truth was that I could not let Henry despatch my lady home like an unwanted present. The marriage had to take place.

I explained to Anna that the marriage was going ahead and that we would need to be in London for the fifth of January.

"Thank you, Pippa, I don't know what would have happened if I'd been sent back like an unused present."

I did. She'd have been unmarriageable, and have ended her days as a spinster, dependant on her brother for support. Much as I wanted to have Anna for myself, I was a realist.

"My darling, Anna, we are not out of the woods. Henry will expect a wedding night to remember, so I think we ought to practice a bit."

She smiled, and looked delighted.

"I'd love to."

"The one thing we cannot do is to rupture your maidenhead, but that apart," I grinned, "everything else is on the table - including you, my lady. Strip for me!"

"Yes Miss," she said.

I watched as she disrobed.

Precisely because of the strict standards of female decorum insisted upon by Protestant ministers and German fashion, I knew Anna got a particular thrill from the mere act of undressing. So taboo was it, that she got aroused by shedding each garment until she stood, naked before me.

I surveyed her, knowing that that, too, made her squirm with excitement.

"It is to be hoped that king Henry does not insist on women with tits, my lady."

Anna loved me mentioning the size of her breasts, so I made sure to rub it in.

"They are, at best, titlets. Indeed, were it not for your cunt, he might even mistake you for a boy."

I could see from the look in her eyes and the way she clutched herself that the comment had touched something deep in her; I put that away for later.

"Yes, Miss, sorry Miss, most girls have proper breasts."

"Breasts, girl?" I said, sternly, "nice girls like myself have breasts, sluts like you have tits, what do they have?"

"Tits, Miss," she said, blushing red.

"Except in your case they are hardly even that," I said, walking toward her so that my fingers and thumbs could touch her nipples and then pinch them. She was rock hard. Her breasts may have been small, but her dark pink nipples stood erect proudly. She gasped and whimpered as I played with them. Poor girl, I reflected, as I doubted whether the king would pay such attention to her sensitivities there; but all the more reason for me to do so.

Anna's moans always aroused me, sometimes so much so that I was tempted to stop and see to my own growing desires. But I loved her, and she needed this, so, ignoring my own needs, I attended to hers.

Our height difference was such that standing, I could suck on her nipples without lowering my head. That allowed me not only the intense pleasure of sucking on each nipple for a few minutes in turn, but also of gripping her firm backside, and sliding a hand between her thighs to cup her pussy. She was so wet that, as two fingers peeled her lips apart, my index finger pressed against her clit. I really wanted to fuck her, but that was off the agenda; but after her wedding night, that, I thought, smiling to myself, would change.

Anna ground down on my hand, squirming shamelessly, gasping as her arousal grew. She was soaking wet. With minimal preparation, she would be ready to receive the king, indeed, I thought, if he would only let her go naked, she would be ready for whatever he needed; but how to get that nugget to him?

Anna was rubbing herself harder against me. The more I pulled out her nipples and gripped her firm arse, the more she pushed down.

"Please, please Miss, can I?"

Our eyes locked.

"You may, you shameless whore, orgasm for me now!"

I only just got that out in time, as she was already beginning to climax. As she did, I had to hold her with my other hand as she surrendered to a series of climaxes and aftershocks.

Once she had calmed down, I told her to clean my hand.

"Yes, Miss," she grinned, "thank you for helping train me for my wedding night."

I held her to me as we lay on the bed. She was the best of girls, but I wished, profoundly, that some match other than this could have been found for her. But, I reflected, with a degree of satisfaction, that if Henry could not give her sexual climax, I could.

We reached London on the afternoon of the fifth of January and were shown to our quarters in Greenwich Palace where the wedding would take place on the sixth. As we entered, I did a double take.

"Katherine," I exclaimed, seeing Katherine Howard.

"Yes, my lady, I am one of the new queen's ladies-in-waiting."

She curtsied neatly. So, I thought, her uncle had secured her the place he wanted. It says something about me that my mind immediately recalled that Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour had both been ladies-in-waiting before marrying Henry. Could history be about to repeat itself, or was this just Henry's modus operandi?

Anna asked me about her new lady-in-waiting when we were alone.

"Who was that Pippa? She is very pretty."

I explained she was the niece of a very powerful man, and that it was a good thing to have her with us, but Anna was far from stupid.

"She looks very pretty. I am not sure that it is a good idea to have a lady that beautiful so close to the king."

"Are you not, my lady?"

"What do you mean?"

"If this were a love match my lady, then I would agree, but it is not, and there might be advantages in the king having wandering hands and eyes."

"Pippa! You are such a cynic!"

"I prefer to call myself a realist, my lady. Now, enough, we must prepare for the morrow."

That fifth of January was, I thought at the time, the day from hell; how little I knew.

Lady Anna was quite content to try on the various outfits and to have her ladies-in-waiting fuss over her, so I left them to it. It was not there that her future - and mine - would be decided. I went to see Cromwell.

"You seem to have done wonders, Lady Philippa."

"So, the king is not backing out?"

"He hums and haws and says he does not find her attractive, then he brings up the points you made about the Protestant alliance and his fame in Europe and, having almost withdrawn consent, consents."

"That does not sound the firmest foundation for a marriage, but we both know that the Danish princess said she would only marry the king if she had two heads, so I am not sure that he has many foreign options available."

Cromwell was no fool. He looked at me.

"Oh come, my lord, what is the meaning of making Katherine Howard a lady-in-waiting? Are you saying Norfolk has no designs for his niece?"

"Over my dead body," he exclaimed. I am not having that House worm its way into the king's bedchamber. Norfolk and his ilk would stop the Reformation and take us back to Rome. That will not happen on my watch!"

So, what I had heard was true, there was a great rivalry between Norfolk and Cromwell. I began to feel sorry for the latter, as so much now depended on the marriage with Anna. I kept my counsel and simply replied that I was sure that the king's new bride would distract him. I did not feel half so confident as I sounded. I had done what I could with Anna, and I would prepare her for her wedding night, but her command of English was still poor, and I feared she was entirely lacking in the skills a woman needed to deal with a man like Henry. Mind you, what skills would? Queen Anne Boleyn had, by all accounts, all the amorous arts, and she had still ended by losing her head. The man was impossible.

That night I sat till late with Anna.

"Remember, my lady, he is a man. Men like to be flattered. He is a king, and kings like to be worshipped, so lay on the flattery with baskets of it. He is the most handsome, the most desirable, the cleverest, the wittiest and the greatest man in the kingdom, there is none like unto him."

"But he is not. He is getting fat and he fails to excite me as you do."

It was not often that Anna brought my patience to its breaking point, but this was one such occasion.

"My lady, I shall spank your arse if you say anything like that again. This is about him, not you."

She looked abashed.

"I am sorry. What do I have to do?"

Hell's bells, I thought, one virgin leading another! So, once more, I described how she would have to lie back and let herself be taken.

"Will it hurt?"

"My lady, I will get you as wet as possible. It is likely that the rupturing of the hymen will be painful, but after that, you can lie back and take him into you. I doubt he will last long, and all you need to do is marvel at his prowess, and that will be that."

The wedding day dawned.

There were crowds outside Greenwich Palace, and the chapel was crowded with the nobility of the land and foreign ambassadors. It could not have been grander. Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, presided over the ceremony, and my lady Anna, now renamed "Anne" for the English, looked as beautiful as I had ever seen her. The king was suitably regal, and the whole affair was done with a great fanfare.

Anna showed me her ring afterwards. It was inscribed with the words 'God send me and keep me well.' A sentiment I heartily shared. After the wedding feast, we were given an hour to prepare my lady for her wedding night.

I allowed Katherine Seymour and the others to undress Anna and to put her into her night clothes, but then I dismissed them. What came next was for no one else's eyes.

I lay her back on the bed and lifted her skirts.

"I am nervous, my love!"

"Let me help my darling."

I kissed her, gently but persistently all the way up the inside of both her thighs, something she loved. By the time I reached her flower, her lips were swollen and damp. I lapped at her until she began to moan, taking care to pay special attention to her sensitive bud. As she began to finger her own nipples, I knew it was time to stop.

"You are as ready as you can be. The others will be here soon, and the king will be escorted in."

"Oh God, Pippa, I need you, I need to climax."

"You need to open your legs and let the king take you. And we need to straighten things up before the wedding party gets here."

I scattered rose petals and water to hide the scent. I adjusted Anna's night gown and went to the door. I had heard the doors downstairs opening and was just in time to assemble Katherine and the other ladies.

There was great merriment in the party of courtiers with the king, and many coarse jests about "mating" and the "Flanders mare." I assume they did not realise I spoke English as well, if not better than they did, but there was no remedy for it. Men were ribald creatures, never more so, it seemed, than before the deflowering of a virgin.

I looked at my lady, and I looked at the king. He bade us leave. This time there would be no hiding under the bed. I looked at Cromwell, he looked at me; at that moment, our concerns met.

As we left he turned to me:

"This better work."

"I could not agree more," I replied.

But I let him leave, while I retired to my bedroom next door to the wedding chamber. I settled down, hoping.

Anxiety banished sleep, but not more than a few minutes, maybe ten at most, passed before I heard the door bang. Gingerly, I opened the door to Anna's room. She was in floods of tears.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, nothing!" She wept.

My heart sank.