by TonyMA70
This story had great potential but was so poorly written it flopped horribly.
Hot...Butt...
Good story - erotic and good theme. As others have pointed out, the bad grammar and syntax detract from the story.
I loved this story (five stars) despite the appalling grammar and syntax errors.
I would very much like to read the next chapter, so please continue this great story.
I knew by the title of your story this would be very arousing and after reading it I'm not disappointed. Waiting for another chapter.
Why did this story have me googling PlayGYN? You know why, its HOT and I will be looking for more in the future.
Wonderful, believable and of course, HOTT!!!