All Comments on 'Anne - Whole World Come Undone'

......So what now?

Cheated

Caught

Consequences

Love died

Children bitter

Life for cheating slut

Did she make a mistake? Yes, definitely. And a stupid one. Does she deserve to pay? Absolutely. But. It was not an affair. It was not premeditate. She hadn't been playing in her husband's back for weeks or months. What makes her fling a total tragedy for her husband and her daughters was the live discovery of it. Had she come home and revealed it to her husband, the effect would possibly have been somewhat milder. The decision to go for a divorce without even a deep conversation between the two is precipitate, in my opinion. Perhaps it was the only conclusion possible, but they should all have given themselves a bit more time and talk. So yes, the ending of the story is a bit steep.

Astordatair - You walk in on your wife after she just had sex with someone other than their spouse. give up your spouse for that. I had to deal with the same thing. So shut your fu..ing stupid trap. You have no idea how that is devastating. So until you've been there. your opinions are a stupid rant of a dummy.

Well written, with a great ending. Would have loved to hear more from Anne following the aftermath. Maybe a Part 2 with reconciliation? 5*

Great story, enjoyable NO, the emotions to raw. I loved the reaction of the lover, it was nice to see, one feeling the guilt for what he had done. I feel for Anon, fancy reading it, bringing back all the bad memories, but he is right, only those that have gone through something similar have any idea, the rest of us can't begin to imagine what it's like. For those it happens to, the outcome might vary greatly from husband to husband, so how can anyone judge Steve. I would love a follow up, to see out it played out and if any revenge was metered out to the lover. 5*

I would have liked to have seen the ending teased out a little more, maybe an epilogue years after the incident or something, but overall it's a very well-written story.

Very good story showing pain in cheating

The cocksucker she fucked got no pain at all... He should've been put in a fucking wheelchair for life.

I wholeheartedly agree with Hiram325

What a gutless little wimp Steve is. Too weak to recognise that he has a human being for a wife. She was made to suffer by a family that NEVER loved her. If they had, they would have had forgiveness in their hearts instead of being shallow narcissistic arseholes

The closest I've come to this is the death of my spouse. We were together 60 years and married 57 of them. We trusted each other.

In many ways, this is the death of a spouse, certainly a marriage. Without Trust, there is to glue to hold things together. They pain for the aggrieved spouse must be 100 times worse than the death of a spouse.

In addition, each person is different from every other person. So your values, may not be the values of another.

I'd love to see Kiwihunter write the story as he feels it should go. It would be quite interesting to make a comparison.

I didn’t enjoy this cautionary tale, but at least it wasn’t Femdom agitprop. And, I’m glad someone tells the other side of the fantasy.

Liked the sorry story. It's one thing to start feeling old, another to flirt & have sex with another man, thus cheating on your spouse & destroying a marriage.

--- Now to Kiwihunter and his/her mindless comment. She's kept in agony with a family that doesn't love her? Yeah, right- she showed so much love while fucking this new manager. Not once, but via her talk with that guy, a few times. I'm sure hubby & daughters didn't love her, which's why they went to torment her for her 40th BD by arranging the 4 days at a resort as a BD surprise. Such hate! Not sure if the commenter's a feminist that believes women will/ can do no wrong, or just a spineless wimp of a man, who'll let any woman walk over him.

--- Having said that, I do believe short of the divorce, a talk to find out how long plus seeing a marriage therapist might've been the better way. And keep her on a short leash by tapping her phone/ computer. Perhaps even have somebody tail her for her next weekend getaway or two. As the husband did, get her parents to take her for a week or so. 3 stars. Bob

Really wonderful story! Excellent! Okay, a bit of a tearjerker TBH (to be honest), but very sensitively told, from both sides! A very realistic, and totally credible study of just how extensively devastating drifting off into a one-night-fling born out of boredom-yielding complacency, sparked off by middle-aged critical realization of limited mortality, can be, and how apocalyptic the permanent life-changing ramifications just one night of pampering our own fragile ego, can bring the house down around us, for so many others!

Well done, & well written.

R.S.

Feels like it just peters out at the end, expected more of a wrap up or a second part.

Great story thats too realistic

Cheating questions everything in the relationship and you realize you dont know your partner at all!!! When the trust is broken theres NO going back!!! thats the first time she cheated but it WONT be the last. If he took her back he would always be wondering what shes really doing and thats no way to live.... On the plus side she can fuck all the good looking young men she likes!!! Just like she wanted!!!

IDK why the hell the cheater - the husband or wife, doesn't matter - think that "It's only sex", "didn't mean anything", & the rest of the bullshit are good excuses for cheating. Because so say they're limp ones would be an over exaggeration. Then when the shit hits the fan blades, they're all pleading that they're sorry, give another chance, & the rest. If they really loved the spouse (or, in fact, boy/girlfriend), they wouldn't do it at all. The story was good & nicely told & deserves 4 stars.

I was married for over 30yrs before my wife passed. Far from an angel, I never even thought about cheating. Same with my wife. Yes, we made mistakes- some huge ones. But we got angry, then talked about things. My wife, when she got seriously sick, gave me permission to seek outside women for my needs. I told her no fuckin' way, we married better or worse. And except for OT, which actually was, I was there with/ for her, getting mostly 3-4 hrs sleep. I'd do it again in less than a heartbeat.

Your dialog is stilted. It sounds a bit as if you’re living in the 19th century. This story is more of what used to be called “a bodice ripper“.

It was also depressing and ultimately pointless. No one grew, no one solved problems, nothing got better. It’s just a big bucket of hate and misery.

Congratulations! You have found a new home, where you are welcomed and praised by men who hate women and get off on destroying them.

A good story ruined by punctuation & word placement or missing mistakes. Had to read lines two times. Her explanations were messed up, being nice. If it mean nothing, why did she do it? Just sex? Doesn't happen in a marriage. Only loved her husband? Apparently not that much or she wouldn't have bed that guy.

There was a relative lack of communication. He didn't want to hear it, she only gave bullshit reasons with no justification. However, it might've been nice to have them at least more cordial to each other (story ended with Steve wanting to do nothing with her) if they couldn't find a way... in time... to repair their marriage. I'm unsure if I'd want that or not, but with help, would be worth a try. But then there's trust: how's he to know if this wasn't the 1st time or she won't repeat her adultery.

Ruttweiler writes that no one grew or solved problems, so nothing got better. What's to grow? The wife fucked another man when on a 3 day seminar. Solved problems? What's the commenter's suggestion, she said she's sorry & all's good? Again, the trust plays a huge part. How's the husband supposed to trust that she won't repeat her infidelity but be more careful? She'll be to another convention.

And let's not 4get that the daughters saw & heard everything. I'm unsure what the answer is, maybe a separation & try to repair the marriage? 3 stars; demoted because of the above problems in my first sentence. Lastly, mother, father, lawyer & the rest doesn't have to be capitalized. Just sayin'. I know the writers aren't pros, but there should be some semblance of writing knowledge. Get an app or a proofreader.

The story is what it is. It's a result of the author's mind so there's nothing to say about it. But here's a nitpicking comment: I see other authors doing the same thing, it's impossible to "nod" your head "no". A "nod" means "YES" and a "shake" means "NO". Unless you're from another planet, that is. Told you it was nitpicking!

Really enjoy your writing, but your endings need work.

The snake in the garden needs dealt with too... No fear of consequences is what allowed him to go after a married woman. Take what's mine and a cost will be imposed even if I no longer want what was taken from me.

Agree with Hiram. It can't be free. You owe it to other guys out there whose wives he will run across. He needs a little something to help him remember.

There was no need for Femdom agitprop communication: Her treacherous act said it all.

One and DONE!!!

A very abrupt and poor ending

Why would Steve get a 70/30 split?

The story is excellent!

Now, on to the moronic comments:

No, it wasn’t a mistake! Mistakes are unintentional errors. She actively, and intentionally chose another man over her husband.

Several posts expressed disbelief that he didn’t go for revenge on the other man. I find it refreshing to have a scenario where the betrayed focused solely upon the traitor. SHE was the one who made promises to him! Yes, the other guy was scum, and guilty. However, there are so many stories here where only the other person is punished, and the wife has no accountability. My preference is to punish them both, but if it’s only going to be one, then it needs to be the actual traitor!

ZK

Steve got a 70/30 split because he had sole custody and the cheating cunt didnt contest it. A very abrupt and good ending, no reconciliation and faithful husband got what most women get in a divorce even when their the cheaters. I applaud Steve for divorcing the bitch and moving on, most men don't have the balls to dump and move on from a cheating wife.

5/5 the realistic discovery and outcome without either a BTB or RAAC is refreshing.

Well written. And quite realistic. She was indeed remorseful and did not contest draconian divorce terms but ultimately it didn't matter. The way the discovery is revealed in her hotel room by all three, makes reconciliation impossible.

The ending was a bit too abrupt but well written

No sense in prolonging the story. I doubt if any writer can answer the question ... Why? My thoughts on the writers presentation are positive. The tale flowed smoothly especially since it opened with a vert hot love making scene... This was a perfect entree' to dispel husband blame for poor performance. She just fell completely off the sled. One aspect that wasn't developed but assumed was her prideful, arrogant self centered persona. She really got what all spouses deserve when they act on narcissistic "I deserve this" thoughts. No sympathy for the slut.

I skimmed through the writers other works and they all contain one similar fact… none has been finished. At first I thought he was being arrogant by doing this, but realized something I had heard in the past…

He is unable to put a finish, in coherent sentences, to any of his stories.

This is where Literotica should involve itself, although they feel guilty about doing so. Just start stopping stories like this on the board. Or just maybe, come up with a section on unfinished stories available to other writers to finish

A very good, well thought out and written realistic tale. This story is a good example for authors to use as the way to write a story. Fiction at its best, believable. Nothing over the top, just how things actually do happen and play out in peoples lives... 5+ stars....JZK

She kept flirting and seeking him out and story said she made first move.

Got exactly what she earned by her actions. Good story 4stars not 5 because only self contempt for the guy adultery and he named and see if can publicly name both for adultery in that state

Well written story.. Having never been put in that situation I can't imagine the devastating effect her actions caused but I would probably be as emotional as her family.

Nice story! Wife was not sorry in the slightest for what she had done, only getting caught and the consequences.

Good story, but it's not finished! Aybe someone can pick it up from here.

Great story!!!!

What a total cuck Steve was.

Story reads like a wishful fantasy of a cuck that got totally fkd over by his cheating wife.

Kids love their parents even if they've done something wrong like this. Anne knew exactly what and why she did it and she would have got away with it. Anne's cheating was of the lowest level, not emotional, not on going and no chance of it taking her away from the family'. Not very different from using a dildo.

Steve's response makes him sound like a childish uptight moralising god botherer,.

5* This is a very strong story, QuietWonder. The characters all feel "real" to me (a sign of excellent writing). It is beautifully structured (though the ending shows a slightly less sure touch). You tell me exactly what I need to know and no more. For example, what Anne says to Paul at the door tells me what they did overnight, I don't need a thrust by thrust account. I also think that the different characters were shown as individuals, given that this is only 7000 words. I might wonder how Paul copes, going forward, but that is a separate story. Thank you for posting it.

Fairly well done, but doesn’t match the pathos of the original tale this was clearly based on. That one explored the characters more deeply, and the exposure of the tryst was more believable. Still, 4 out of 5.

Needed more for true end.

Weak ending with no satisfaction or hope. Completely unenjoyable.

The discovery method of the cheating was unique and effective. It is a well written story up until the end. It just dropped off.

Very strong, very powerful story. Great job in capturing the emotional impact.

Liked it even though it was a sad open ending.

Very well written story. bravo !

4 stars from Xluckylee. The ending needs more for it to be 5 stars but, this is a very good story.

Excellent story. 5 stars!

Needed to address the other cheater in the story who got off Scott free.

Decent story, but no ending. Also, I doubt the girls would have given up on their mom. If I had been in a similar situation, my first concern would have been stopping my dad from assaulting my mom. My next concern, would be worrying about how this was going to disrupt my life. I guess, at some point after the dust settled, I would have been on my dads side. But as it was happening, would have just put me in shock, and I would have just wanted to remove myself from the situation. 4 stars.

If she's happy to tell the guy she's going back to her husband, why did she take her rings off? Just an observation.

So far, so good. But it needs a conclusion. Any chance?

MG-UK

Painful to read. Well done but painful,

Women always crack on the male ego, how about their egos, always needing to be admired, catered to, pampered, etc... ?

Okay story, just too much narration, and not enough dialogue. Betrayal always causes angst. Dialogue is the vehicle of angst. Three stars ⭐️ for this one.

Just once I'd like to see a LW stories that doesn't include weak-willed characters that give in, even the ones that know all about how cheating is wrong and so on and so forth. Just once I'd like to see them pull back before they make the mistake, realize what they stand to lose, and end it before it goes over the line. But I guess all the authors prefer to write this shit even though it's been done to death.

In the end Anne got what she deserved. I hope that sex was worth completely destroying her life and shattering her family. Fucking idiots I swear. The world is overpopulated with them.

Ending was a bit choppy and abrupt. Well done overall.

A PRETTY WRETCHED STORY...BUT I THUNK YOU DESERVE A GOOD SCORE.....CINCO ESYRELLAS!

Wow!!!! Extremely powerful!!! Thanks for an absorbing and insightful tale!! Well done!!

There is an anonymous comment about one month down complaining there is too much narration in this story - I agree. In addition the narration seems to be inconsistent as to tense.

The story was good - very emotionally charged. More dialogue and less verbiage would improve this story.

Thanks for sharing. John

The whole scenario didn't make much sense and it was glossed over. Like she suddenly decides to dress sexy and buy condoms to seduce and fuck some guy she basically just met, and didn't think anything of the consequences or about fidelity to her marriage of 16 years? Come on that's just so forced. And the excuse is she's hitting 40 and feeling old. Does that suddenly turn her into some slut that would fuck around on her husband behind her back? I just don't buy it.

For someone to do this I would have to say they have some kind of mental illness or are suffering from some severe hormonal imbalance, but that just didn't seem to be the case here. As such I didn't find it to be a plausible scenario. Now if there had been some build up, more insight into her character, if the guy she cheated with had been known in advance and had "worked on her" a fair bit, then perhaps the decision to do what she did wouldn't have seemed so out of place. Instead what we got was basically: good faithful wife of 16 years randomly decides to fuck guy she just met because she's feeling old; loses everything because she gets caught. The end.

It was okay, a little wordy though. It seems that most of the LW writers picture a 40 year old woman as in the prime of her cheating life. Most of them are trying to have as much sex as they were getting at 20. But most forget in another 5 or so years they'll be having menopause, which seems to kill most sex drives in women. I do agree the whole "training seminar" thing seemed to be glossed over. And why wasn't she back at work after flying back from the training seminar. After all the company she works for paid for the trip, and she did fly back home(her car was in the garage).

What a train wreck! Well written story with the standard LW plotline of a woman going off the rails because she feels old and unattractive at 40. The consequences are extreme, though and that's what makes this a compelling read.

JR

Ultimately a shallow story, not worth the readers time.

Note to the author - a good editor could have prevented this train wreck.

well are there any of you fellow readers who wish to say "he should get over it, it's just his bruised MALE EGO"😔🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

It's a train wreck of a story, but I feel like the way you wrote it, almost matter-of-factly in many places sort of muted the emotional pathos. There should have been more dialog, more showing and less telling, and there probably should have been some catharsis at the end instead of leaving us, the reader, frustrated at the situation. Intellectually we know that Anne probably was a good mother and a good wife for decades until she made one fateful decision, but we don't really get the sense of anguish from her other than she's crying a lot and the daughters seem more angry than just emotionally in turmoil. I mean, it would have been difficult for them to be faced with it, but it would also be difficult for them to see their parents marriage explode like this. I would have expected them to be less secure and stalwart in their decisions - angry, yes, but also desperately wanting to understand how their mother could do this.

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Anyway, for the most part it was well written enough to get a 4/5 from me. Probably not the strongest work of yours that I read, which is odd since it's the most recent. I guess you just had an off day.

I have read the same story, but the wife survives and is reconciled to her husband and family

Anyone remember it’s name.?

It's was her ego that caused her to cheat, and fk your self-entitled feministic view, men invest years decades of support and security into marriages for what? We ask very little in return but fidelity is number 1, and to invest so much for so long to have it given away. Sorry but that is an insult that should never be forgiven, it has nothing to do with ego but rather everything to do with respect, honor, and love, women constantly avoid taking responsibility for their actions and rarely face consequences and when you're made to, you once again try and avoid any blaming the male ego. Just fkn typical of your self-entitled narcissistic attitudes.

I don't care what some of the others say, this is one hell of a story. It covers the destruction and hurt caused not only to Steve, Ann and the girls but also to the other cheater, Paul. I like BTB stories but this one seems much more honest on what cheating can do to those involved and the results it has on their lives. Five stars.

@Wargamer - Yes, I know what story you are talking about. It's called "No Way Back?" by whatdreamsmaycome and this author basically copied the entire plot, shortened it and made it a kind of BTB instead of a reconciliation.

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I don't mind it when people want to rewrite other peoples stories, but they SHOULD put attribution in it and a link.

Fooled me! I thought sure the lump in the bed was a dead body. It was really the only ending for this story...along with a syrupy good bye note.