All Comments on 'Anonymous Valentine Invitation #1'

You need to develop your characters more. Too many blunt, cliche type situations, so that the reader doesn't get "invested" in the story. Very unrealistic. Plus, please edit your writing as there are far too many errors. Examples: Obviously Maths wasn't one of Mo's subjects! If she is 23 and Sienna is 41, that is NOT an 8 year gap. (18 yr gap)

Plus, a School Vice Principal would not be practically having sex in a changing room of a store in her town. Nor would she be "lighting up" a joint in her car, then driving home! Possibly destroying her career over some stupid situation is not the action of sensible people in their middle age.

Plus, Mo getting "chatted up" by the sales assistant is another of those cliche type events. How mentally impaired is Maureen? She's carrying on like some 17 year old High School student, not a School Teacher. Also, how did she not know about her husband cheating? The school where he and his cheater were at, would definitely know. Meaning their Head would know and he would tell his wife, Sienna. Then Maureen.

Writing is fine but develop the story better.

Later that night Craig and his woman show up. They drag Mo into a spare room and fuck her brains out all night. From that day forward they used her as their personal sex toy. She submitted to them and they used her any way they wanted.

Know a lot of teachers, and some principals...also thought behaviour just not realistic....they'd never do anything to jeopardise their careers,,,hell, getting caught smoking while driving on par with drinking while driving...would get locked up

however, as same time...WHAT a horny bunch...!

that a 23 yo school would have any hairpie to trim -!?-and I LOVE firebush!- also QUITE unusual...sadly a woman with any bush these days quite the exception to the rule...

giving away how old I am when I starting fucking ALL women had bush...sure trimming at start of swimsuit season but don't recall ONE shaved/bald snapper...

and Sienna could smell Mo...? and remove her panties while driving to drag under Mo's nose...?

some of your descriptions very, umm, unusual 'removing panties...smells like fish..' -and I LOVE both fish and going down... 'smells (or tastes like chicken...'-?? NEVER equated pussy with chicken

real curious about Val Invite #2