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"What happened that they are getting along with each other so good now?" I asked curiously.
"Mom was starting to help Gloria with magic to charm people to do what Gloria needed. Now Gloria is a big figure in the city's office for construction. She is now building the new aqueduct as the main architect, thanks to a little help of mom. They realized that they are better when they work together. Two years ago Gloria constructed the temple for mom and the believers that we got when mom translated our Celtic great mother earth into the Roman Bona-Dea," she explained.
"How did the citizens of Rome react?" I asked.
"People are coming now for healing of different injuries, sicknesses, poisonings, and whatever else in order to be healed. Officially I am also a priestess of Bona-Dea like my other sisters, too. After some time a real Bona-Dea priestess was entering our temple," she continued.
"And how did that turn out?" I asked.
"Instead of getting mad about us using the name of her goddess, she joined us and guides us and the followers spiritually now. Mom was very happy about this, because this legitimates our cult officially with her as the high priestess and the great healer. So this temple brings our family a new source of income. So the two working together was the best what could happen for the whole family. Maybe you should stay for dinner. Then you can see yourself how they are getting along," she explained to me.
At dinner I could see, what my sister meant. The two were like best friends now and they were positively surprised to see me. At dinner I told them at my tasks at the legion and what the daily work is to do. Gloria told me about her actual project of the new aqueduct and mom told me about her new temple. It was definitely nice to see that my family is happy and they are doing well with each other. Even the problems between my mother and stepmother seem to be solved.
- COMMENTS
abiostudent3over 3 years agoHey there!
As a new writer, the best way to improve is to just keep writing as much as you can, and to never stop trying to improve your skill.
There are a few issues with the pacing and believability of the story, but that's totally okay for your first story!
However, there are some serious issues with spelling and grammar at points - including just using a totally wrong word several times. That's probably from trusting spellcheck to get it right when you edited the story later.
I highly, highly recommend printing your story out, marking errors with a pencil, and also reading it out loud to yourself. This uses different parts of your brain than are used for writing, and you'll catch many, many times the number of errors.
Good luck, and I look forward to seeing how you develop the story!
