Apprehended Ch. 22

I smiled nervously. Though I appreciated her advice, it did little to quell my nerves. "Do you care about him?" I asked curiously.

I needed something...anything to distract me from looking. To ease me into being brave and learning the answer of my fate.

Of our fate.

"I think he had me at hello," she confessed quietly.

I swear, it was just what I needed to hear. Another female just as lost to the male that captured her heart and wrecked havoc on normalcy.

I laughed lowly and Lily followed until we both were giggling like young schoolgirls; gossiping about boys.

It was nice to release tension and uneasiness. It was nice to have Lily as my newfound female friend. "Gavin made a good choice," I admitted, grabbing her hand. I held it like a lifeline. "And thank you...for this. Truly."

She offered me the test. "Thank you. I think he is a good choice too. So is Ethan. And so are you." She shook it a little. "And I am more than happy to help a friend...so how about we look together...yes?"

I nodded. "Sure."

I took a deep breath...and held it as we both lowered our heads...and stared at the test.

I released the breath in a rush as instant tears clouded my vision.

Son of a bitch.

Motherfucker.

That certainly explained a lot. A whole lot. With definitive clarity.

I was pregnant.

I was motherfucking pregnant.

***

I sat on the bed in a numb state of shock.

I was pregnant.

Oh god.

Holy shit balls.

Pregnant.

Pregnant.

As in: I have another human growing within my body. One that was derived from Ethan and I. As in: motherhood.

Pregnant. Pregnant.

Like a mantra, I repeated it over and over in my head, hoping-no, wishing-that this were some sort of dream. Wishing that it weren't real and that I would wake up from this nightmare.

Only...

It was very real.

And I was still very pregnant.

Oh god. Motherhood. Was I even capable of living up to what that truly meant? I would be responsible for another being. One who would be fully dependent on me. And Ethan.

Shit.

What was he going to say when I told him? Would he be angry?

I looked down at my stomach and touched it. It was impossible to tell. I was a thick girl. If I was showing a little, I doubt it would be obvious this early. Did Ethan even know? I hadn't been keeping my vomiting episodes too quiet. Did that mean he was suspicious?

"Annie?"

I glanced at Lily.

"Are you okay?"

I licked my suddenly dry lips. "Um...I...ahhhh...I...ummm...think so?" I buried my head in my hands and groaned. That was not the sort of answer that would placate Ethan if he asked. I needed to keep it together. Otherwise, I was liable to lose my shit.

"Do you need a minute alone?" she asked, worriedly.

I shook my head, feeling nauseous and out of my element. "No...no...I'll uh...be fine. Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

I lifted my head. "Yeah." I ran a trembling hand over my face. "Yeah."

She patted my thigh lightly. "I'll put this in my bag," she said, referring to the test. "We wouldn't want anyone seeing it in the trash until you're ready."

I agreed.

If Ethan found that in the garbage bin in the bathroom?

Yeah, well, that would be an interesting conversation. One that I was not ready have just yet. One that I needed to process and analyze. All of those years Jerry had verbally abused me still affected me. Though I was trying to gain a somewhat clean slate, it was difficult not to hear his harsh words echoing back at me; warning me that no man would ever want a child with me.

I jerked when there was a knock on the door.

"My Luna," Ethan said, his voice soft.

I glanced nervously at Lily. "Should I let him in?" I whispered.

She shrugged. "Don't ask me. This is your house," she whispered back.

"But he'll know something is wrong," I whispered.

"Just keep your cool and open it."

Ethan knocked again. "Annie."

I got up in a rush and ran a hand over my clothing to smooth it out. It didn't help. I felt internally disheveled. No external smoothing would help my current emotional state.

But it was worth a shot.

I froze with my hand on the knob and my heart racing. Would he be able to smell the pregnancy right now? It was a stupid thought-a fleeting one- but Ethan was no ordinary male. His sense of perception was keen due to his wolf.

He knocked again, this time, a little harder than before. "Annie."

I grabbed the knob in a rush and twisted it, opening the door wide. "Hey," I said, my voice breaking. I cleared it.

He entered the room in a white tee that showed off his muscles and height. Clean black sweats hung low on his hips and I realized that he too had showered downstairs. The bathroom below was more of a guest bathroom and we rarely utilized it. It seemed Ethan wanted to get ready too. It was almost time for the others to arrive.

His hair was wet and combed into a sleek bun at the nape of his neck. He smelled of warm soap and shampoo. It wasn't lost on me that he looked as handsome as ever; eyeing me in a way that made my knees weak. "You okay?"

I nodded nervously, trying my best not to glance at Lily suspiciously. "Mm-hmmm."

He looked between us anyway, his forehead wrinkling a bit. "Are you females done?"

Lily smiled coolly and pointed to her toes. "They just dried."

Ethan stared down at our nails and smiled. "Pink." He faced me and winked. "An apt color for you, my petal."

I tried my best to humor him but I was too unsettled.

He noticed. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked, lowering his head a little. He leaned in and cupped my face, running a warm thumb underneath my eyes.

I swear, I almost burst into tears, giving all that I had worked so hard to deflect away on raging, female pregnancy hormones. At least...that's what I assumed it was. And I did a piss-poor job at appearing unaffected by Ethan's concern. This was big; keeping him in the dark was taking its toll. Now that I knew with certainty that I was with young? Even more so. The burden was almost too much to bear.

"I'm okay," I said in reassurance. I wasn't sure if that was meant to placate Ethan. Or if it were meant to placate me.

He eyed me curiously before nodding tightly. "Alright." He turned to Lily. "Gavin and his parents are waiting for you downstairs, female."

Lily smiled warmly at me before heading out, leaving me alone with Ethan, who didn't look at all convinced that I was alright.

His golden eyes scanned my face slowly and he shoved his hands into his sweat's pockets. "You know you can talk to me about anything," he said, softly. "Absolutely anything. I will always listen."

I already knew that. Every word was indeed true. But this conversation couldn't happen now. Not on New Years Eve. And certainly not until I fully came into terms with the reality myself. "I know," I said, averting my gaze.

He captured my chin quickly and held my stare. "Good. Because I'm here for you. Sometimes I think you need reminders of that. And I'm more than willing to remind you...if it gets you to talk to me."

"I do talk to you," I replied lowly.

"Of course you do. But sometimes I feel like you keep things from me." He sighed heavily. "I'm not accusing you of anything. I also believe that every being is entitled to their privacy. That of course, extends to you." He leaned in, his scent wafting up my nose. "It's not always healthy to keep your mate in the dark...is it, my Luna?"

I nodded, unsure how to respond. I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Especially when your male can scent your emotions over a mile away," he added.

I swear I nearly gaped. His senses were sometimes too innate for his own good.

He released my chin and took a step back, giving me some space from his male potency. "I won't press. For now. But you will tell me," he said. "Alright?"

I nodded again. It seemed my voice had lost its ability to function. Ethan was so close to digging out the truth, the only way to avoid blurting it out was to simply stitch my lip.

He smiled, revealing his dimples and actually letting it go. Which was a first. Ethan had a difficult time leaving me alone when something was troubling me. The fact that he was willing to simply let it be was something I was going to have to deal with later.

It was inevitable. I only wished I had more time.

"You ready to go downstairs? The food is ready and the music is on."

I was somewhat grateful for the reprieve. We headed downstairs quietly, with Ethan following close behind as I led the way. I could feel his eyes on me as we descended the stairs, catching sight of Gavin, his parents, Lily, Richen, Jared and a few clan members.

"Luna," Richen said, sipping a beer.

"Hey," I said, passing by and lowering my head.

I made a beeline for the fridge, hoping to grab a can of something carbonated to rid myself of nausea. The cheesecake I had eaten earlier had long been digested, and I was currently suffering from another bout of I-think-I'm-about-to-puke-if-I-eat-something.

Ugh.

I didn't make it far.

"No hug hello, my Luna?" asked Gavin. He stopped right in front of me, blocking my pathway to the refrigerator.

I smiled. "Hiiiiiii Gavin."

He reached out and grabbed me, lifting me up and smothering me in a bear hug. "That's better." He put me down and reached out for Lily, tucking her into his side. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," I said, rearranging my hoodie. I stretched it out a bit, making sure my belly area was consumed in the fabric.

Gavin noticed. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I glanced at Lily, aiming for a distraction. "I spent some time with your girl here."

He chuckled. "I know. You females had fun?"

"Absolutely," replied Lily. "We did our toes." She looked down and wiggled her toes.

Gavin laughed and glanced at mine. "Beautiful color for two beautiful females."

I rolled my eyes just as he lowered his head and planted a kiss on Lily's cheek. She giggled and I took the opportunity to excuse myself and continue towards the fridge. I didn't care what carbonated beverage Ethan purchased, I was going to snarf it down in hopes of avoiding a potential puking.

"Annie, my dear!"

I nearly groaned. I wanted a drink. The scent of the food was making my mouth water in the worst of ways.

"Hello, Janet. How are you?" I smiled once more.

She hugged me into her warm bosom, smelling of hot chocolate. "I'm wonderful, sweet girl." She pulled back to hold me at arms length. "You're positively radiant, darling. How are feeling?"

"I'm great. Just a little thirsty," I admitted.

She turned and threaded her arm through mine, pulling me along as she made her way to the kitchen. "Then let's get you something to drink, my dear."

She talked my ear off as we weaved our way to the kitchen. I lost sight of Ethan, but I was too thirsty to search for him.

I stopped at the refrigerator and continued to listen to Janet as I took a gander inside, finding everything but a carbonated beverage. I mumbled under my breath, pushing food and other beverages aside, finding liquor, juice, water, more liquor and...more liquor.

Ugh.

I gave up and straightened with my hand on the refrigerator's handle to close it when Ethan came up behind me, slipping a heavily muscled arm around my belly to pull me into his body.

I shuddered at the contact. He had no idea where his arm was. Nor who he was holding. It wasn't just my body anymore. I was sharing it.

And for one brief moment...I imagined that he knew-right now-that I was with child. His child. One that would be accepted and loved unconditionally.

My body went lax, with my back to his front...and I sank into his safety. He splayed his hand over my stomach...holding me...holding us as if we were the loves of his life. Which was now plural. No longer singular.

It was a fleeting wish. One that I took advantage of. Yet, as he laughed lowly and lowered his head to press a kiss to the side of my throat, I realized that no matter the wish, he didn't know. Suspicion? Possibly. But he couldn't possibly know that I was pregnant.

And that fact had me placing my hand over his...and pressing his palm into the rise of flesh that could've easily been mistaken for weight gain.

Oh, how I wished he knew.

But...I couldn't do that to him. I wouldn't do that to him. Not in a room full of people as witnesses to something that should be private. The young was conceived in privacy. Therefore the admission should be just as private.

I also needed to come up with some sort of way to tell him. To be honest, I was frightened of his reaction. I never had to tell a male like Ethan that I was pregnant with his baby before. It wasn't that simple.

"You okay?" he whispered into my ear.

It pulled me away from my temporary reverie and I had to remind myself that his hand on my belly didn't mean he knew. Which made me anything but okay. "Yeah." I turned in his arms, instantly yearning for his hand on my stomach once more. "Can you help me find something?" I asked, attempting to subtly change the subject. If I had to feel him touch me that way one more time, I was liable to spill the beans and cry like some sort of emotional, uncontrolled female.

He smiled warmly. "Anything. What do you need, mea vita?"

"Is there anything carbonated to drink? I couldn't find anything in the fridge."

He pointed to a large bucket full of ice and cans near the microwave. "I put them in there." He shifted and laced his fingers with mine to lead me to the bucket, dropping a kiss on Aunt Janet's forehead as he passed. She smiled and patted his bearded cheek lightly before heading off in another direction. "What do you want? Dark cola?"

I made a face. "Is there any ginger ale?"

"That's the first thing I purchased when buying beverages." He fished through the cans, finding a ginger ale and holding it in his palm to lightly run a hand over the metal. Ice formed on the can, making the ale colder than the rest; as if he took it from the freezer. "Here," he said, offering it to me. "It's colder now. I've also noticed that you've been feeling sick. Ginger ale is quite effective on the stomach."

His thoughtfulness made me smile. "Thank you."

"For you. Anything."

I grabbed the can and opened it, taking a deep sip that hit all the right places.

God, that tasted delicious. So cold. It quelled my thirst and nausea.

Ethan's eyes were on me. "Thirsty," he said. It wasn't a question.

I nodded and tossed the can. "Nauseous too."

Dammit.

I didn't mean to blurt that out.

Ethan's brows furrowed in concern. "Again?"

It was too late to deny it. Unfortunately. "Yeah. But the ale made me feel better. No worries." I went on my tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you for thinking of me."

He returned the kiss, making a deep, reverberating sound in his chest when I pressed against his body. "Of course," he said, his voice thick and dark.

I swallowed hard. Jesus. One sound or touch from the male and I was rendered an incoherent, horny female.

He chuckled lowly and squeezed me into his hard body. My breasts pressed against his muscled chest and he grabbed my hands to wrap them around his neck. Due to his height, I had some difficulty.

But Ethan always thought of my comfort.

He ran his hands down the side of my body slowly, stopping at my hips where he lifted me a little and placed my bare feet on top of his. He moved lithely, beginning a small, barely noticeable dance in the confines of the kitchen. Then he lowered his head and pressed his forehead against mine, humming along to a tune on his speaker in the background to simply dance with me. I melted into him, allowing him to take me away.

It was the most romantic thing ever.

He smiled, his eyes glittering splendidly. "You're beautiful, my female," he said so lowly, I barely heard him.

I sighed, enjoying the feel of being swept away in a room full of people. Ethan had that ability to block out all else. And sometimes, it was exactly what I needed.

He lifted a hand and tucked a few loose tendrils of hair behind my ear softly. Gently. "You're radiant. Glowing. You know that...don't you, my love?"

If only he knew the real reason. "Yeah, well, so are you," I said, attempting to shift his focus off of me.

It worked.

"Is that so?"

I nodded, moving along with him in perfect synchronization. He moved like a professional, his steps sure and steady. It felt nice to have him control every step. "Do you know why?" I asked.

He held me closer. "Why, sweetheart?"

"Because to me...you're beautiful."

He laughed again. "That's exactly how I feel about you...only...it's a little stronger."

"Does that mean that you love me more?" I added playfully. "Because I would like to think that it's equal."

"Oh, yes, mine is much more powerful." He lowered his voice so only I could hear. "My wolf is bonded to you, precious flower. As am I. And that love...that bond is unbreakable. So powerful...that sometimes I could barely breathe from the severity of it. Without it, I am nothing. Without you, I am nothing." He pressed a warm, wet kiss against my jugular and pulled me impossibly closer, my breasts and stomach pressed firmly against him. "Not having you in my life..." he shook his head, his face looking pained, "that will never be an option. You mean more to me than anyone or anything. And I'd give my life to ensure yours. To ensure your safety and happiness above all else. No matter what. No matter how."

I swear, I melted into him further, my body fitting perfectly in his embrace. "I love you," I said, kissing him.

"And I love you more," he whispered against my lips.

We danced together a little longer before Ethan stopped and pulled away, not wanting to leave just I had no inclination to do the same. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Several people had already started eating, but the food held little appeal. I glanced through the platters, not finding anything that I craved. Until I was instantly reminded of his cheesecake. The savory, decadent creamy dessert that made my mouth water.

"What do you want?" Ethan asked, grabbing a plate for me.

"Cheesecake," I blurted, not holding back.

He stared. "Cheesecake? You don't want dinner?"

"Can I just have your cheesecake? Please? I'm not really in the mood for anything else."

He eyed me curiously before giving a tight nod. "Anything you want." He went to the fridge and made quick work of serving the dessert.

I spoke to a few people that passed briefly, saying the polite hellos and how are you's.

"Luna," said Ethan, handing me the plate.

I didn't mean to get excited at the sight of the delicious dessert. But I couldn't quite hide it fast enough. "Thank you, Ethan." I took a bite and closed my eyes the minute the creamy goodness touched my tongue. I felt Ethan's eyes on me, but I was too focused on cheesecake inhalation to dwell on it. "Can you make more of this?" I asked.

"Absolutely." He rested a hip on the counter and folded his arms across his wide chest. "Do you want anything else?"

"No. Just more of this. Did you bake it?" I asked curiously.

"No. It only needs to set in the refrigerator." A smile played on his lips.

"Does it take long?"

"No. Why?"

Without meaning to, I blundered, "because you're going to be making a hell of a lot more of this."

He frowned. "And why is that?"

I froze with the spoon halfway to my mouth, realizing my error. "Ahhhh...because I umm...like it. Yeah...it's really good."

He seemed suspicious. "I gathered that."

Thankfully, someone interrupted. "Hey Ethan."

Ethan turned. "Hey. What's doing?" Ethan began speaking to a male. Specifically, a clan member.