Apprehended Ch. 25

He chuckled. "Do I least get a thank you?" he continued, his voice thick with sleep.

"Thank you," I muttered.

He sat up, resting his weight on his elbow to turn me over. He brushed away pieces of knotted hair from my forehead. "You feeling okay?"

I nodded.

He eyed me suspiciously. "Not seeing any demons or monsters are you?"

I covered my face with my hands. "Uhhhhhhhhh. My god. Why did you remind me? That was a nightmare." He continued stroking my hair back. I dropped my arms and stared at him, feeling overwhelmed as the memories of last night flooded in. "I'm so sorry, Ethan. Jesus, I...I'm just...so sorry."

He smiled affectionately. "You have nothing to apologize for...except the berries," he laughed. "Don't eat anymore berries." Though he managed to get a few hours of sleep, he looked exhausted. Dark circles lined both eyes and his skin still looked a little pale.

I reached out to run a fingers under his left eye. He turned to kiss my palm. "I promise I'll stay away from the tempting berries. Though, they don't seem rather appealing anymore."

He chest vibrated with laughter. "Considering the night you had, I'd agree."

We stood staring at each other in peaceful bliss, relaxing and embracing...

When the television crashed to the floor, causing a large hole in the hardwood floor as it sparked and sizzled.

We both sat upright, gazing at the disaster. "Did I do that?" I asked, observing the scorched wires hanging precariously out of the wall.

"Yup."

I drummed my fingers on the quilt, assessing damage. I turned, my eyes locking onto Ethan's thick neck, which had already healed. I winced, unable to hide the memory of biting him.

Jesus.

WTF was I thinking? I firmly believed that he had some sort of agenda. One that involved harming me and his own unborn young.

I pulled off the blankets with haste, feeling the need to hug him; to find forgiveness in my actions. Even though I was hallucinating, it didn't mean that what I did was any easier to bear. And he took it with a grain of salt. I didn't deserve his kindness or understanding.

I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into my body to lace my arms around his neck. I inhaled deeply, saddened that even his scent had frightened me throughout the evening. "I'm so sorry," I mumbled, shoving my face in the curve of his neck. I kissed the smooth skin, now completely unmarred and healed. But I remembered the jagged teeth marks I so callously left behind. I remembered the blood on his fingers and the look of pain on his face with every hallucination...with every tirade and physical blow.

FFS. I had lost count on how many times I hit him. And he never hit me back. Not once. I suddenly remembered Jerry. His inflicting blows without remorse. Without conscious restraint. I had performed those very actions against the male I loved.

And it burdened me with an internal compunction unparalleled to any beating match with my ex. Because I inflicted it. Because I recollected every bruise on his golden skin.

It was a pain beyond torment.

He fully embraced me, grumbling deeply in his chest. "It wasn't your fault," he said softly.

I shook my head. "I remember everything." I bit my lip to hamper unshed tears, trying to find the right words to express my contrition. "I knew what I was doing and that's not okay."

He ran his hands along the length of my spine, moving up and down, up and down. "Hallucinating on berries don't alter memory," he replied. "They simply affect reality. Again, not your fault."

A single tear fell free, spilling onto his shoulder. "I hurt you."

"I was more afraid of you hurting yourself."

I pulled back to find his eyes. "I was so convinced that you were going to hurt me that I didn't even consider the pain I was causing you."

He tucked hair behind my ear. "As much as you think you've wronged me, my Luna, I'd like to remind you of several facts: one, you were hallucinating. Two, you would never perform an act of violence fully lucid. And three, you're pregnant with my young. Bearing in mind that you were the most vulnerable, I'd say that you're earnestly forgiven."

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't think that I deserved his forgiveness-berries or not.

"Additionally," he added, his face now laced in jollity, "I'm a wolf. It's take a lot more than a few kicks to get me down." He tossed in a wink for good measure. When I didn't smile, he lightly tapped my chin. "Sweetheart, don't blame yourself. I'm fine. Truly. I was more worried about you and my young."

Speaking of...

"How are they?" I asked.

Ethan smiled. "They were sleeping the berries off. Unlike their mother..." he trailed off in amusement.

I slapped his arm playfully. "Not funny, Ethan."

"Ethan?" he said in shock. "Are we on a first name basis now? What happened to Dom?"

I couldn't hold back my own laughter as I recalled referring to him as such. "Oh, come on. You can't hold that against me."

"I can," he said. "But that doesn't quite compare to the stripping." His eyes grew dark and traveled along my body. His fingers moved to the lip of my shirt where he lifted the fabric teasingly. "You were convinced that your clothes were peeling off your beautiful skin."

I groaned loudly and buried my head in my hands. "Don't remind me."

"You know," he said, slipping his hands underneath my shirt to lightly brush his fingers along my hips, "I'd be more than willing to help you forget."

I shivered as his skin tickled my flesh. "And I'd be more than willing to accept."

He smiled, taking my mouth in a kiss that truly did help me forget.