As Big as the Moon

Jaimie realized we weren't getting anywhere on the problem so she did the polite thing of giving me an out. "Keith, thank you for your help, but it's getting late and you need to get on the road. You said you still had a long way to go. Go and don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Somehow."

The last word was barely breathed, just a whisper, but it resonated in my mind, and I was even more determined to make sure it would be true. Her willingness to put my welfare first convinced me, at least 99 percent anyway, that the cashier was wrong and that Jaimie had a good soul. My mind was going a hundred, maybe a thousand miles an hour, and that's when the idea hit me.

"Jaimie, hold on a minute. If we can find you a place to stay until we can get you on a bus on Monday, you'd be covered, right?"

"Yes?"

Hoping I wasn't being taken for a complete fool, "How about this? What if..."

***

At 12:07 a.m., I pulled into my parents' driveway in Farmington, Tennessee, and turned off the engine before turning to look at Jaimie.

I'd never told my parents my new girlfriend's name, so I was planning to make introductions when we arrived. Since I didn't have a girlfriend anymore, Jaimie had agreed to fill in if I'd get her a bus ticket home on Monday and help her out with a few clothes to get through the weekend. I wasn't certain about what we were doing so I gave her one last chance in case she wasn't either.

"Jaimie, are you sure you're willing to do this?"

She only had a second to consider for the front porch lights were on and my parents came stepping out before I could even kill the headlights of my car. Jaimie smiled briefly and nodded, but I could see the apprehension in her face as Mom clung to the post at the edge of the steps and Dad came hurrying down to help carry our luggage.

"We were starting to get worried about you guys," he said. "Keith, you'd said 11 or 11:30 at the latest."

"Sorry, Dad. We, ah, ran into some issues on the way," I replied without elaborating.

He nodded, griping something about traffic and the DOT as he helped pull my things from the car. "Keith, your mom's having a hard time going up and down stairs, including the front steps, and it's cold out here so let's get inside where we can do introductions," he added to Jaimie with a smile.

I handed Jaimie my small duffel bag so she'd appear to have some luggage and we made our way up on the porch and into the house.

"Mom, Dad, this is Jaimie Clarke. Jaimie, meet my parents, Norm and Kathy Bristow."

Dad and Jaimie shook hands and said the niceties before she turned to Mom. "It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Bristow."

"It's so nice to meet you, too, Jan, Jam--I'm sorry, my medication is causing me fits, particularly this late at night when I'm so tired. Keith said your name is Jaimie?"

Jaimie smiled, nodding, and told her it was okay before they both leaned in and gave a little hug that appeared to do more for my mom's condition than I could have imagined.

"It's late, Kathy's exhausted, and I'm sure you two are as well, so let's get you kids upstairs and to bed," said Dad. "We'll talk more in the morning, Jaimie, and we'll introduce you to Keith's sisters and little brother then."

"Keith, show Jaimie to the guest room and show her where to find the bathroom," ordered Mom. "Norm's right, I've got to lie down or I won't be worth squat tomorrow. Goodnight, Jaimie, and thanks again for coming."

I showed Jaimie to her room as instructed, and then quickly raided my sibling's bathroom for a new toothbrush for her that I hoped no one would miss. I also looked through my closet and drawers and found an old t-shirt and some sweatpants that she could sleep in; I'd take her to the Walmart in Lewisburg for anything else she might need in the morning after a good night's sleep.

She mouthed a silent "Thank you" before stepping back into the bathroom. When she came out, I smiled, thinking how cute she was, and trying to ignore the new highpoints of my old t-shirt. She stepped in close, pressing them against me, as she leaned up and kissed my cheek. "Thanks for everything, Keith. I'll see you in the morning."

I was frozen in position as I watched her turn and go into the guest room, closing the door behind her. Biting my lip and wondering how I found myself in this position, I turned and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

***

"Keith! You're home!"

Light was streaming through the slit between the curtains as I opened an eye to see my brother, Cory, age 8, standing by my bed with his bow in his hand. Holding it up one handed over me like an Indian brave on the warpath, he said, "Wanna go shoot with me?"

While my parents would never admit it, I'm firmly in the "Cory was an accident" camp, especially considering Elizabeth and Sandy were now in college and Addy was a junior in high school. Considering they were all girly girls, yuck! and rarely did anything boyish with him, the poor kid always looked forward to my visits so we could have some real fun just between us boys.

"Tell you what, kiddo, Jaimie and I have something to do this morning, but we can do it sometime after lunch, okay?"

He grinned and whooped, taking off like a shot.

Mom hadn't been very pleased with me when she saw his Christmas present a few weeks earlier but I told her if he was going to continue improving his archery, he had to have a better bow than the little plastic thing he'd been using.

Minutes later, I made my way downstairs to find Mom, Jaimie, Sandy, and Addy all sitting around the kitchen table with cups of coffee or hot chocolate in front of them, looking as thick as thieves. Elizabeth, about eighteen months my junior and the oldest of my sisters, was a junior at UT in Knoxville and wouldn't be coming in for the weekend.

To my surprise, Jaimie hopped up from her seat and came over to give me a kiss on my cheek.

Sandy sniggered and said, "You missed," causing Addy to crack up and my mom to grin through her perpetual pain.

"Jaimie, dear, you can kiss him for real if you want. Just ignore us."

The girls lost it, Jaimie turned red, and I wanted to disappear into a hole in the ground and pull it in after me.

"Mmm, maybe later," she said rather primly before grinning at me and retaking her seat at the table. "Speaking of later, Kevin, do you still plan to run to the store this morning? I could do with picking up a few things I forgot."

Her look told me that my answer was yes, so I agreed as I pulled a coffee cup from the cabinet. Mom wasn't in on our secret though, but she'd spent enough time with teenage girls over the last few years to know what might be needed. "Jaimie, if you need anything in particular, the girls and I might have something you can use until you can get there."

I had no idea what she meant at first, but Jaimie clearly did, turning red yet again, and shaking her head. "Oh, no, no, nothing like that, Mrs. Bristow. It's not that time yet." That's when it dawned on me as to what they meant and I turned even redder than her.

Of course my sisters noticed that and Sandy stuck her tongue out at me while Addy snickered. They both gave me a teasing grin, seemingly happy for me that I'd found a girlfriend with whom they could have girl talk without me butting in.

Taking the hint once my coffee was made, I went out to find Dad in his workshop in the garage. We talked for a while, with him giving me the update on my mother's condition based on their visit to her doctor just the day before.

"He gave us the name of a cancer specialist we can see at Vandy and we called to schedule an appointment, but it's a couple of weeks out and her situation's getting worse with each day we delay. I'm going to call again tomorrow to see if they can work her in sooner."

Dad ran his finger across a joint and then put the sanding block back on it to make a few more passes. I could almost feel the frustration he was trying to work out in the action and I ended up stopping him before he went too far and left a cup in the wood. He dropped the block and sat down heavily on his stool.

"Keith, since the very first time we met, I've always tried to take care of her and give her what she wants, but this is beyond me. There's nothing I can do but try to put on a good, positive front and pray that she'll get well...and that she won't see how scared I am for her."

His voice trailed off and I could see the pain in his face as tears spilled from his eyes. I'd never seen Dad cry, not once in my twenty-three years, so I pulled him back up and took him in my arms for a hug.

He and Mom had started dating as sophomores in college so they'd been together for nearly twenty-seven and a half years, building a life and a family together during that time. He didn't say it but I suspected he couldn't imagine trying to go on alone if they couldn't find a cure for her.

"She's going to pull through, Dad," I said, trying to be encouraging, while hoping what I was saying was true.

"I know, Keith," he replied. "I'm telling myself that about a thousand times a day, wondering all the while why, if one of us had to get sick, it couldn't have been me instead."

"You know it doesn't work like that, Dad."

"Of course not, but that's not stopping me from doing it anyway."

***

Mercifully, my sisters had gone upstairs and Jaimie was ready to go when I went back in the house. We told Mom bye and headed to the Walmart in the county seat where Addy was a junior at the high school.

Our first stop was the lingerie department, where Jaimie looked for a bra and a couple pairs of panties.

"Here, help me look. I usually wear a 32C," she said, which caused me to gulp. "And medium, or size 6, panties. Bikini style."

I tried but wasn't much help, with her laughing at each of my suggestions that tended to more lace and far less practicality than she was apparently seeking. "Okay," she finally said, "I'll look and you can tell me what you think."

She seemed to take particular delight in showing me her options, holding them up in front of her, causing my imagination to run wild and my face to glow red. Seeing her grin, I knew she was enjoying my discomfort as much as my little sisters had a little earlier. She finally settled on a red bra and matching panties--"It's Valentine's weekend, after all," she said--before holding the bra up to my face and giggling. "Yep, very good color and it matches."

With the chosen underwear in the cart, she then tried on some jeans and a few shirts, actually modeling each of them for me and allowing me to give input. Of course, since I said I liked everything she showed me, I wasn't much help this time either and she ended up picking out a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts that all looked great on her. Finally, we found a little canvas duffle bag to carry it all in.

As the pile grew in our cart, Jaimie promised repeatedly, "I'm going to pay you back for all of this."

"No, you're not," I replied. "That was part of the deal as far as I'm concerned. Besides, how often does a guy get a personal modeling session? Especially from such a beautiful young lady."

She blushed a little and turned away. "Keith, did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah," I replied. "And I meant that. You really are beautiful."

She gave me a whispered "Thank you" and smiled.

Before we escaped from the store, we swung by the sporting goods department and I picked up some more arrows for Cory and a box of pellets. Jaimie clearly questioned the first item but said nothing, but she couldn't control herself on seeing the second.

"Okay, what's going on? You're not thinking of turning serial killer on me, are you?" she laughed.

"No, I promised my little brother that I'd spend some time on the archery range out back with him this afternoon. I don't know how many arrows he has left of the ones I gave him for Christmas, so I figured I'd get some more just in case so we wouldn't have to go retrieve them from the target, or wherever, after every other shot."

"Makes sense," she laughed. "But what about these?" she asked, holding up the tin of Daisy pellets.

"Those are for my pellet rifle, in case you'd like to join me in a little target practice after Cory's had enough practice at being Robin Hood."

"Hmm, that might be fun." She put them back in the cart.

Once we finally cleared the checkout line, we headed out to my car and then down the road to a restaurant for lunch. After ordering, we swapped tales about growing up and about our hopes and our dreams.

"You said you wanted to help people," I said. "So why'd you decide to become a nurse instead of going all out and becoming a doctor?"

"You don't think nurses help people?" Her frown told me I'd messed up.

"No! I mean, yes, of course nurses help people. All the time. What I meant was, well, did you consider becoming a doctor?"

Her frown slowly softened. "Did you know you're actually sort of cute when you're embarrassed? I discovered that this morning and then again in the lingerie department at Walmart." She laughed and patted my hand. "Seriously, I knew how you meant it and it's actually a legitimate question. I even have an answer for you.

"Yes, I considered spending four years studying my ass off as an undergrad, going through great stress to get into a decent medical school, and then borrowing a huge pile of money to pay for it. Once I was in, I would spend four more years studying my ass off to get into the specialty that I wanted--if I was lucky--and then spend yet another four years doing a residency in--what's the name of this town?--or one just like it, before I could think about settling down and, hopefully, having a family and an actual life. Sounds like fun, right?"

"Well, when you put it that way, I think I can see your point."

She shrugged. "The other part is that I wanted to have fun, too, and not have to worry as much as I did while I was growing up with a delinquent and then absentee dad, a borderline-alcoholic mom, and, over the past year or so, the step-demon. See, if I went the nursing route, scholarships could pay for most of my schooling, I'd be out in four years and be able to pass the test to be an RN. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of stress with that too, but nothing like it would be if I'd taken the doctor route. Do you think I'd have even considered skipping three days of classes to go to Mardi Gras if I'd had to worry about medical school? Fat chance."

I nodded, remembering a guy in my class in college who stressed all the time about seemingly meaningless grades because of what they could mean about his chances of getting into the right medical school.

We chatted a little about her nursing plans and then she flipped the conversation on me and made me tell her a little about my work. Fortunately, the food arrived before her

eyes had the chance to glaze over and we had a pleasant meal talking and having a nice time.

When the waiter took our plates afterward, Jaimie looked at me, studying my face for a few moments, and asked, "Keith, tell me, how would you describe your idea of a perfect date?"

That was unexpected since we hadn't touched on anything of the sort, so I looked at her and gave it a little thought before replying. "You know, I can think of a lot of romantic-type dates, like something in Paris, Rome, or even New Orleans, with a quiet, candle-lit cafe, a good singer in the corner playing a guitar or maybe a piano, a bottle of wine, and a good conversation with a lover or, perhaps, a prospective lover, but a perfect date? That would probably be something similar to this where two people share a good time and good conversation, getting to know each other better, without the stress of worrying about what might happen later if they'd just started dating or the anticipation of what was to come later if they were, ahem, already involved."

She was giving me that look again, trying to figure out whether I was telling her the truth or pulling her leg. Her brow was furrowed as she said, "Hmm. So what you're saying is that you're a virgin who's never experienced the joys of sex?"

"Nooo," I bleated. "Sex is great, but I, ahhh, I think getting to know someone is really important if you want more than a cheap thrill." My recent relationship with Janella flashed before my eyes; we'd fucked on the first date and then tried to build something together without knowing enough about each other to want us to make it work. It was, in Janella's eyes, all too disposable and, it turned out, in mine too.

And over the past couple of days, I'd realized that I didn't like that one bit.

"Keith, I'm teasing! I get what you're saying," she said, taking my hand and giving me that smile again. "At least I think I do. Getting sex is just too easy, at least for girls. Think about it this way: a girl could have sex with about 99.9 percent of the eligible guys--and a lot of the involved ones, too, unfortunately--in the world if she offered, but finding the 0.1 percent she'd actually want to spend time with and love over the long haul is a lot harder. Right?"

"Yeah. A whole hell of a lot harder, but I think it's a whole lot worse for us guys. While girls might be able to get sex whenever they want it, many don't want it, or at least don't advertise that they do, so guys have a really hard time finding girls who are willing in the first place. Then, there's a similarly small percentage of girls who are willing to stick around to give a longer-term relationship a try. So, I guess what I'm saying is that a romantic date that leads to fun later in the evening is good, but a date that helps build a relationship over time may be even better in the long run. That, to me, would make it--perhaps perfect isn't the right word, but at least better."

Jaimie nodded slowly before patting my hand one last time. "You know, Keith, I think you'll probably make some girl very happy someday. Now, I think I'm going to hit the ladies' room before we get out of here."

I watched her go, wearing the new jeans she'd worn out of Walmart. Paying far more attention to her pretty ass than I should have, I was thinking the same thing about her that she'd said about me.

***

"Cory, how long have you been an archer?" asked Jaimie a little while later on his archery range in the field behind my parents' house.

I could see him figuring it up in his head before he finally said, "Almost two years. In May. Keith taught me. He gave me my cool new bow at Christmas, too, though Mom and Dad won't let me use it by myself yet."

"Keith, are you an archer, too?" she asked.

"Not a great one. I started shooting in the Scouts when I was a few years older than Cory. I can generally hit the target from this range now."

"Do you think you can teach me?"

"Sure. Buddy, are you about done? How about three more ends?" I suggested, meaning we'd let him shoot the set of six arrows I'd allotted him three more times.

"Five," countered Cory.

Four ends later, we collected his arrows one last time. I talked to him about his improvement and a few things he needed to continue working on, and then I sent him to the house, paying attention until he was inside and the back door clattered shut.

"You look like you know a lot more about archery than you let on earlier," Jaimie said. "How good are you really?"

I chuckled. "Not nearly as good as you're suggesting. I'm actually right about where I told you earlier, but I picked up a couple of really good books on archery at Barnes & Noble a while back and I've been studying them pretty hard to try to keep my knowledge of the skills ahead of him even if my ability with those skills won't be before too much longer."

"Want to show me?"

We'd already gone over safety before I ever let Cory handle his bow, but I went through it with her again as if she was new to the range. Then we worked on her stance, placement of her hands, and drawing the bow a number of times before I let her touch an arrow. Then came practice nocking the arrow, proper placement on the bow, and, finally, drawing with the arrow and sighting. When she was ready, I told her that we were going to do it all again, but this time she'd let the arrow fly when she thought she was on target.