All Comments on 'Ashley's Sister'

Outstanding story!!! Of course it would have been “THE” fantasy come true but I am actually glad that the threesome did not happen.

Good story!

5

Brilliant!

How have I never seen your stories before? You are now a highly appreciated favorite author.

Usually, multiple first person narrators is an easy crutch, but you carried it off superbly.

As I now dive into your oeuvre I hope this isn’t a constant trope.

Very nice. I like the twists.

⭐⭐⭐ 1/2

Good story. Fun theme.

weak ending. Donna needed to be totally gone and the talk of threesomes ruined an otherwise somewhat interesting story.

First off it was a decent story but got screwed up bringing donna into the sex. First off they are way past the point of a high school pot party mattering at all at that point in life plus plenty of ppl have pot arrests n go on just fine in life lawyers included. Should have left it at some watching by donna. The sex scenes def could have been less hurried like the time n description put into the story. But still a good story

I liked the story. And I hope too read more. You’ve set the stage already. I disagree with my fellow readers. It could be very special

Nice story. I.liked the 3 different parts. You could write part 2

Fun Story!

What mischief things sisters can do. Well done 5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I gave it a 4/5. I knew from the beginning that Kyle was going to screw Donna at some point. But I think that it would have been sexier if Donna had called in the debt as due forcing Ashley to go through hurdles to talk a reluctant Kyle into doing her sister. Decent job though.

I want to thank everyone who voted or commented on this story. It’s interesting to read thoughts from various people as to perceived issues and problems with a story. It is obviously impossible to please every reader all the time, but even critical remarks are helpful for us writers. To ScottishTexan I would like to point out this was an Aprils Fool story and his suggested alternative plot, though very promising, would have been difficult to weave in a surprise or a twist. Thanks.

I love how the sexual tension was kept alive throughout the story without turning it into a mindless fuckfest.

Great work!

You need to write part two!

Liked the plot but all I could think of was Kyle saying "I wanted to be the thing you had that she didn't." in response to 'Once I paid that off, well, she'd still have all the other things, things I can't change, but she'd not have that. I wanted to get free of that much at least."'

I'd have stopped there and if the characters can reunite, done that as a part two.

Excellent attention to detail and pacing.

Great story!

Good. Good character development. Pretty hot. I gotta say that something was missing from the third person interaction in my opinion.

"Uh, yes, please," she answered. I poured her a mug and after she added cream and sugar, I fixed my mug before I strolled out to the back patio by their tiny swimming pool. After I stretched out and started sipping my brew, Donna came out to join me. She was in her sleep shirt and when she climbed onto her lounger, I could see a thigh all the way up to her hip. She discretely tugged it down before turning to me.

More likely that Donna pulled the shirt down discreetly (carefully, circumspectly), because discretely means separately, individually. (This paragraph is from page 4.)

Oh, sweet Jesus! What a site. I always admired Ashley's breasts. They were nicely shaped, firm and a full B to a possible small C cup. Little nipples capped of her tiny little cones of her areolas. But Donna's; OMG, they were perfection. Larger, but not massive or mega-sized. Full, but not sagging down her sides. It was clear they were natural as they swayed gently as she sat up to pull off her top. Her areolas were smaller and flatter than Ashley's but she too had little beaded nipples that rose to the sky.

Yes, it was quite a site (location), but the paragraph seems to call for quite a sight (view).

Another paragraph from page 4.

This is a great and very well written story. Is it perfect? Of course not. But it’s miles beyond most of the content on this site. Thank you!

Story was pretty well written, pretty hot, but the whole thing with Donna fucking him really pissed me off. He may have been right to ultimately forgive, but how could he ever really trust her again? I'd have made her work a lot harder for that forgiveness. I believe she said she'd do anything? I'd explore that some with her, I think, at least enough to scare her and make her remember. And she'd sure as hell never be tying me up again. She totally broke his trust by doing that. Maybe I'd tie her up and leave her there till she pissed and shit the bed, and make Donna untie her and clean it all up. Fuckin' bitch. Think I've got trust issues? Maybe let her crawl around with a leash and collar for a while...