by KFinch
I agree, a few typos and some hard to read sentences. I got distracted thinking about the logistics, i.e. in the car, out of the car, back in, etc. But very good story..
Exciting, but mixed present and past tense, often in the same sentence distracted a bit.
Great story! Really look forward to reading more! If you fix a few of the typos (including the title), the story could easily become a 5 star entry.