All Comments on 'Augur Ch. 16'

I’ll be honest I’m very sad that this is over. Looking forward to your next story

Well that ended abruptly, great job though.

What an excellent series! I can't wait for the next chapter of this story to grace us in the future!

You are expanding this story line at a great pace. I can’t wait to see where you go from here. Thanks

It ended extremely abruptly, but pretty well. You could have had a couple of chapters more, deal with Sarah in more nuanced ways, introduce Zarina as a person by name and get more of her before the last scene, etc.

Well done, all told, and I look forward to book two.

Thank you to everyone who gave feedback! This is the end of the first book in Jack's story, but we haven't seen the last of him or his ladies. I'm going to take a break for a while - this was a fun but intense writing project, clocking in at around 134k words, or slightly longer than a typical novel. It was immensely fun to write, and future events continue to unfold in my head, so I'll return to this world once I've had the chance to recover.

Looking forward to the sequel. Love these characters….. maybe a new antagonist? Another sin demon that amps up Cindy’s more evil tendencies that makes everyone act more sinfully?

"WHILE I'M YELLING AT YOU"

I laughed.

I certainly hope the epilogue wasn’t here because it was the final story for these characters. I really enjoyed it, and I hope we get to keep seeing more of them either in this series, or in a new one.

I like the whole story very much. Character development, world building, the setting - all well thought through, written and fascinating. Nevertheless I'd prefered a different ending, cause it feels a bit rushed. It feels like there should be a relationship being build with Zarina after her rushed actions. I feel it's an opportunity Jack wouldn't pass as far as the story goes. Zarina could have given him knowledge and information he doesn't have about magic, wizards and so on. It feels a bit out of character to jump a couple of weeks wothout him dealing without us learning about him really dealing with the new situation.

Still I like it nontheless and I like that Jack always respects boundaries and actually has a moral compass.

5/5

Otterly is right - this was at least one chapter too short, possibly even two or three. We need to meet Zarina *properly*. I would have loved to see Sarah explaining to a now-enchanted Zarina "no, I'm here consensually".

Also, and this is just me being insufferably fussy, but I don't like having something as specific as "reflected seven and thirteenfold thrice over" extending a one-day enchantment to two thousand five hundred years. If we multiple 7 by 13 by 3, we get 273 days, which is barely 9 months. If we say 'reflected' means a doubling, we'd still get barely 18 months. If we add 7 and 13 and then cube the sum (thrice over), we get 8000 days, which is about 22 years. Even (7*13)^3 would still only get us 753571 days, which is 2061 years, which is at least within an order of magnitude but still feels wrong. "Upwards of two thousand years" I'd be okay with. Don't you just love when people obsess over your work?

Looking forward to book 2!

Great read

Fantastic, thanks!

Great story! I can't wait for book 2

Thanks for posting! Just fyi - your profile says see Kofi link below but it doesn't look to be posted.

Looking forward to the next book, but a break is well earned, so take your time!

I would be surprised if Jack doesn't end up with a Vampire and/or whatever an Impundulu is (and/or a Witch with an Impundulu familiar). You know, alongside Zarina. He's going to need an even bigger apartment soon, haha.

As an aside, this chapter illustrates how dangerous Cindy really is quite well. Zarina's reaction to her powering through the binding spell makes it seem like she might be pretty strong even for a Sin Demon - plus she was fairly confident in her ability to take on a significantly stronger Wizard. Although that could be her Pride shining through, for all I know.

Really enjoying your series. Didn't see the "protective charm" angle coming honestly. Sets the stage to allow for multiple story lines withing the series. Give you a little more freedom to take different directions as you move through it.

Waiting pationatly for new upcoming chapters

Lovely, well balanced story.

Please fix the cue/queue problem.

I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said, so I’ll simply thank you for the excellent storytelling. It’s the best I’ve read on Literotica, no lie.

This was awesome! The ending felt somewhat sudden, but it was satisfying. Thank you for sharing this story.

book 2?

I loved the last line!

I read the rest instead of doing a number of other things I should have so it’s pretty good. Ending with “future me” inspired!

I like how consistent the magic was and how there wasn’t magic fixed everything in the story.

I definitely hope you pick this storyline back up as u seemed to hint with the ending about the vampires. Have really enjoyed the series.

This is, by far, one of my favorite mc stories. The main character isn't portrayed as a creep, and they try to keep some level of morality. And frankly, from a writing perspective it's well-written. Thank you for making this story!

Pretty great ending!

Awesome story. Sexual required when you can work out the details!

I agree with the comments that it felt like the ending was abrupt.

But my main critique is that you seemed to forget about his power and the title of the series as it went on. At the beginning of the book he uses his ability to his advantage to both survive and capture the demon. But then for the rest of the series, rather than continuing to use his ability to navigate unusual and potentially dangerous situations, everything just repeated falls into place for him without him really doing anything and his augur ability is completely forgotten.