Autumn Semester

Scarlett returned to uni for her final year, pleased to discover her new flatmates were all around her age. They quickly became firm friends and spent their free time together going out drinking, shopping, to the beach, playing games, watching films. It was the most comfortable she had felt in her whole time away.

Shane wasn't great at keeping in contact at the best of times but he managed to send her a text before he left for New Zealand and a few emails over the next 6 weeks about what he and his friend were doing on their travels. When he got home from his trip, he still wasn't replying to her very often. Scarlett was careful to concentrate on her studies and spend time with her friends and not bombard Shane with text messages. Every time she phoned him, he was out with work colleagues or busy doing something or it was just a brief conversation where he didn't really know what to say to her.

Scarlett felt a bit hurt that he wasn't more interested and his support sounded half- hearted, moreover he skimmed over details of what he'd been up to.

Scarlett had struck up a friendship with her flatmate Dominic, they were the same age, both in their final year, liked the same music and had the same sense of humour. Scarlett had found him attractive as soon as they'd met and he looked great in a pair of Levi's.

Early on in the semester, Scarlett had arrived home for lunch to find Dom on his own, decorating the bedroom doors. He asked her to help him decorate the other's doors with magazine cuttings and drawings about their interests and courses. They had lunch together and chatted. Dom asked a lot about Scarlett's relationship and she confided in him that she wasn't sure it was going to last, especially now it was long- distance and Shane seemed to have changed how he felt and behaved towards her recently but she didn't want to have such a serious conversation with him over the phone, having not seen each other for nearly 2 months so she was planning to wait until she went home for Reading Week the following month.

Dom told her, in no uncertain terms, that he thought it was a pity she wasn't single and that if Shane was treating her disrespectfully then maybe he only deserved a phone call.

Scarlett told Dom she was flattered, she really liked him and was happy to know he liked her too but she would rather wait until she'd had a chance to speak to Shane in person. Dom respectfully agreed and they decided not to talk to any of the other flatmates about it.

The next weekend the flatmates embarked on a night out they would talk about for years afterwards, long after they graduated and their lives moved on. They drank Jaegermeister and Red Bull, hogged the jukebox, danced on the table until the bar man told them off then got cheesy chips on the way home, walking in the pouring rain. Dom and Scarlett kicked massive puddles at each other and at one point, Scarlett leaned down to pick up her flatmate's pizza which had fallen in a puddle and Dom took the chance to dunk Scarlett's face into the puddle. They were drenched.

They all agreed they'd have showers when they got home then meet in the kitchen to eat their food and drink tea. They were so drunk that once they got home all 5 of them got into Dom's shower together, fully dressed. They slipped and fell around the floor, flooded the bathroom and laughed. After heading back to their own rooms, showering and putting on warm clothes they gathered in the kitchen, ate their food and drank vodka.

Late into the night Scarlett decided to go to her room and phone Shane, intent on leaving him a Voicemail message except he answered the phone. "Hello? Is everything alright Scarlett?" Shane asked, concerned.

"Oh! Yes! I wasn't expecting you to answer, I was hoping to leave you a voicemail... why are you awake at this time? it's the middle of the night!" she asked, puzzled.

Shane laughed. "I might ask you the same thing but from the sounds of it, you've been drinking." he said in a cute tone.

Scarlett giggled "Eh, yes! We've been out tonight and I only spent £20. But you never answered why YOU'RE awake" she said.

"Oh, we met our targets this quarter so the company paid for my floor to go out for dinner then my manager invited us all back to her house for drinks and we're still here" he said.

"Oh very nice, that sounds fun. Have you had a good night?" asked Scarlett

"Yes, The food wasn't amazing but it was good fun. The team leads made a mock awards ceremony since it was formal dress. I wore my kilt and I got "Best Dressed" he chuckled. "How was your night, babe?"

"Yes, so much fun. I drank pints of Jaeger and Red Bull and walked home in the rain then got into Dom's shower and..." she started laughing

"Stop, Scarlett. I don't want to know what happened." Shane said firmly, interrupting her.

"Whaaaat?" giggled Scarlett

"I don't want to know what happened when you got into some bloke's shower." he sighed heavily and she could tell he was irritated.

"No, wait. We were ALL in the shower together. It wasn't just me. We got drenched in the rain so we all got into Dom's shower together" she explained, badly.

Shane was silent for a moment before sighing again "Look, I'm gonna go" he said, flatly.

"Why, Shane? Don't go...I was just... It was just fun, we were having a laugh. We were all fully dressed! No one got naked, we slipped and fell on the floor. It was just silly. And now the way you're reacting is making me feel stupid. I just wanted to phone and tell you I miss you..." Scarlett said, her tone getting more glum.

"I miss you too, babe. But you've got to get on with your studies, not long to go." he said

"Will you stay on and chat with me, even though I'm a drunken embarrassment?" she asked.

"You're not a drunken embarrassment! Of course I'll talk to you, I'm not going anywhere" he replied

"Ok, I didn't mean to sound like I'm getting into all sorts of situations cos I'm not. We've hardly talked much since you got back from New Zealand." Scarlett said, quietly.

"No, I know, babe. I know you're working away at your course. I'm sorry I haven't really been in touch, I don't know what you're up to and I don't want to interrupt. I actually really miss you, it's not the same without you at home. Kinda lonely." he said, softly.

"We should speak more then!" Scarlett suggested, cheerily.

"Well, my strategy had been trying to not feel worse by contacting you all the time plus I need to top up my phone..." he said.

"Oh. Ok. If that's what you prefer. I'll be home in a couple of weeks, do you fancy going out for food? There's a nice place near mine" she asked, convinced again she needed to see him in person to sort things either way.

"Yeah, sure. Text me the name of it and I'll book a table." he said, sounding bored.

"Right, I will. I'm going to go to bed now. Text me when you get home" Scarlett said, even though she wasn't tired.

Two weeks later Scarlett was home and had arranged with Shane when they were going to have dinner. She texted him to ask what time the table was booked for the following evening. "Haven't got round to booking it yet, sorry babe. Will phone on my lunch break" he replied.

Scarlett sighed and replied to tell him not to worry about it. She phoned the restaurant and booked the table herself then texted him the time.

The next night Scarlett dressed in smart jeans, high heel boots and a smart jumper and met Shane at the train station. He smiled and kissed her, squeezing her into a hug. He was very off hand but warmed up on the walk to the restaurant, holding her hand. At the restaurant Scarlett gave her name, Shane turned to her "You booked it under your name?" he asked, sharply. "I'm the one whose name it should be under."

"Well if you wanted it under your name then you should've fucking booked it" replied Scarlett under her breath as they waited to be seated. Shane nodded, embarrassed and pissed off.

The atmosphere was strained and Scarlett figured out what she'd noticed happen before - Shane looks awkward and feels uncomfortable when he's in an environment he doesn't usually go to. He asked the waitress a question about a menu item and Scarlett answered as she and the waitress laughed. Shane looked furious. Dinner was almost painful. Afterwards Scarlett suggested they go for a drink, Shane was much happier going to the pub.

At the pub, Scarlett tried to articulate how she'd been feeling in their time apart. Shane interjected "Ok, so, do you want to say it or shall I?"

Scarlett looked at him and laughed nervously, shrugging and signalling for him to talk. "We need to take a break. Or just break it off but if we say we'll take a break for a while, until you've finished your degree. It's only a few more months." Shane said. Scarlett nodded.

They finished their drinks and Shane suggested going for a walk along the shore. It was a dark, cold night in November but secretly Scarlett didn't want to leave him just yet.

He held her hand as they walked, Scarlett's mind raced and she felt guilty. She knew Dom was back at uni and waiting to hear news from her but she still had strong feelings for Shane despite it not feeling right. But as they walked, Shane began to ask if she really had to go back to uni. Scarlett was puzzled. "What are you saying?" she asked.

"You don't have to go back to uni, you could stay here and we could move in together." Shane said, brashly

Scarlett was confused and angry. "Shane, I've got less than 6 months left, I've worked so hard for 4 years for this and it's cost thousands of pounds. I can't believe you're asking if I have go back!" she stopped walking, let go of his hand and looked at him.

"I'm just saying you don't have to. I mean you're going you have to get a job when you come home and you're not going to get one with your degree right away anyway, you may as well get a head start." he shrugged.

"What?! Are you serious? Earlier we agreed to break up and now you're asking me to throw away something I've worked hard for and feel very proud of at the very last minute to move in to your hovel of a room with you! I'm actually offended!" she sputtered in disbelief.

"It's just an idea, Scarlett. No need to get carried away and be rude about where I live!" Shane tutted, reaching for her hand again.

She pulled her hand away "I think it's time to go home" she said, turning and walking to the train station. They walked in silence. At the train station Scarlett called for a lift and they sat in the waiting area, she didn't want to wait until his train left.

"It was just a suggestion you know, about you not going back to uni." Shane said.

"No, Shane. It's a way to disrespect and sabotage me and I don't appreciate when you play these weird games. We agreed to call it quits because it's not working being so far away from each other and you don't seem to want to stay in contact to try and make it work. My studies are too important to me to let you talk me into giving it all up only for you to change your mind next week." she said, firmly.

Her phone beeped "My lift is here. Take care" she said, standing up and walking to the door.

"Scarlett, wait, at least let me say goodbye!" he called after her, walking towards her and wrapping her in a hug, kissing her. Scarlett stood still and didn't hug or kiss him back. He let go and she turned away.

"Bye" Scarlett said, as she walked out. She knew it was the right decision but she was upset at how badly it had all turned out. She felt quite heartbroken.

Two days later Scarlett returned to uni, arriving in the evening. Her flatmates were glad to see her but Dom was reserved, saying he had work to finish for the following day. The next day she went for lunch with her two female flatmates to catch up. They were filling Scarlett in on what had been going on, when Bea grew sheepish and half whispered "And me and Dom hooked up!"

They both looked at Scarlett for her reaction. "What? I've only been away for a week!" Scarlett tried to disguise her shock. "How did that happen?" she asked.

"We were drunk watching a film and he asked if I would ever do a FWB type thing but I told him I wouldn't. He asked if I was interested in him but I thought he liked YOU so I asked him and he said but you had a boyfriend" she giggled.

"Why did you think he was interested in me?" asked Scarlett, trying to sound puzzled.

"Come on! He's always talking to you, you always laugh at these weird jokes between you and he always hugs you so he can feel your tits!" Bea laughed. "How have you not noticed?"

Scarlett shrugged and felt so disappointed. Even though she didn't feel right with the idea of starting something with Dom soon after breaking up with Shane, she felt very foolish and like she was the worst judge of character.

Later on at the flat she made excuses not to sit with the others and watch TV, instead she went to her room and cried. She went outside to smoke and then went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Dom came in while she was waiting for the kettle to boil, she didn't look at him.

"Hi Scarlett." Dom said, timidly. "You alright? Ehmm...I thought I should let you know..."

"That you fucked Bea? I know, she told me." Scarlett interrupted, not looking at him.

"Oh. Right." Dom cleared his throat. "I guess, I mean, me and Bea we're not a thing so..." he trailed off.

Scarlett turned round to see him standing awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders pulled up towards his ears. "So you're still hoping you've got a chance with me? Pity that, isn't it?" she said coldly.

Her neighbour came into the kitchen and asked Scarlett about Shane "I ended it with him last week, seems like guys say one thing to me and then go and do something completely different." she replied, matter-of- factly, looking at Dom who was cringing.

Scarlett excused herself and went to her room, she felt dreadful. She cried until her throat and eyes hurt. Her mind raced and she was overwhelmed by so many different emotions, mainly that she couldn't tell anyone what was happening and how she was feeling. She couldn't help wishing she could go back to last week and leave everything as it was. She had to adjust quickly to squashing her feelings and getting on with her studies. It was only 4 weeks until her first exams and then she would go home for Christmas.