All Comments on 'Awakening Ch. 02'

Hey, very good story!

please go on and elaborate some of the characters some more!

The story has a lot potential!

can't wait to see what and who else happens to get into his Gown.

Does Bonnie the Dr.& Nurse from long term care get with him in the Future.

After the workout, when the nurse came in. Bonnie said "Tracy", then you started calling her "Tina".

This plot is so cliched I almost didn't select the story. I'm glad I did, now. You've attacked this overdone plot device with a novel approach. Good on you. ✰✰✰✰✰ from me.

I bumped into two irritants in the telling:

1) There are too many details in the 'dream' sequences. l found that you had overridden my own mind's eye. The reader's own imagination is the author's mightiest weapon. I find myself skipping much of these narratives. Elmore Leonard once said you write your story, then figure out what the reader will skip over and delete it.

2) Like a previous commenter, I was jarred by the character's name change. Self-consistency is a bitch, ain't it?

Great story! Love to have those powers, hahaha!

Confusing to say the least - his mind reading is much too detailed - and the name changes do not help

Story has carried on the promise from previous chapter but like other readers have pointed out there are minor edits that need attention. Overall though this yarn deserves to be highly rated.

Does he see their fantasies? How does he make them act on their fantasy??