All Comments on 'Back in Town'

Unless you get into what is going on Inside of people, their thoughts, fears, emotions, internal dialogue, it is just calisthenic. Thefe is no point to it and it is boring. What you wrote you did well, you just left out everything that would excite and interest a reader.

No dynamic tension = No arousal.

Nextt time add the necessary compnents and your story will be great!