All Comments on 'Back in Uniform'
by brendachaplin2000
- 12 Comments
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoI loved it and can't wait for the next chapter! I noticed the odd editorial oops, like referring to herself inside dialogue quotes, like at the end in the line about wearing the school girl uniform, but they were minor and didn't detract from the story. Well done!
Charlettealmost 2 years agoHey Gurl !
I picked this story up at the begging of Ch.01 . I have enjoyed every Chapter to this point. I do not know beans about London or its Metro Police.
But you have made it out to sound some what of a descent police department to work in.
For the british folks anyway.
This story line is great ! You have developed some wonderful characters.
I am loving the read !
You really do need a good editor and proof reader. There are some horrendous errors, actually in all chapters to this point ! A couple errors in this chapter, I had to reread three times to finally understand what the line was trying to say.
I sure hope you plan to carry this story through at least one more chapter if not several, So that we get to find out if Hazel and Libby windup as a couple.
The story so far makes Libby out to be a TS Slut. Though for some Gurls, Being a slut turns out to be a good thing.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoGreat story! I adore the characterization and development, as well as the building of the relationship between Libby and Hazel. That said, if I can make two recommendations? Add some clarity to your name use and acronym use. Otherwise, it can get confusing
What I mean by this is two-fold:
1) Upon introduction, consider giving all your characters names in addition to titles and then use those names so it's easier to keep track of them. For example, the DC was just the DC for a good while or so until named as Drake, which was a confusing shift. this also happens with others who go from an official title to a name, or merely have vague descriptors. It also humanizes the characters a bit more rather than seeming like faceless stand-ins.
2) When using acronyms, consider introducing them like "Woman Police Constable (WPC)" so that from then on, readers know that's what "WPC" stands for. I had to shamefully google some of the acronyms, and frequently had to scroll back up at the sudden appearance of an acronym to determine what it referenced, e.g. Police Community Support Office -> PCSO. I don't think "DC" was ever also used as "Detective Constable" first, either.
These are nitpicks, admittedly, but I think they'll add to the readability of your stories. As I said first though, wonderful work!
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoGreat story. Loved the different perspective of why Libby became a woman.
Look forward to Chapter 2 when Libby gets out of surgery.
xDarkAngel0almost 2 years agoGreat plot, nicely written. xx A few spelling and editing items. They don't take anything away, but would make it more polished. :-)
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