All Comments on 'Bad Girl Pt. 05'

The first 3 parts were good. Part 4 was disappointing and this was deplorable. I will read part 6 hoping it will get better like the beginning.

I enjoy your work overall.

However….

Would a hardcore Navy Seal guy describe himself as “giggling”?

It disrupted the flow of the story for me every time he giggled.

He giggled a lot!

A fan of your stories but You completely missed with this chapter.

Sorry but the story got boring. Now it's just a plain suck and fuck story.

I don't think it's coherent the end of the previous chapter with what happens in this chapter.

The turn from a tough guy to a pussy just kills it.

So in this chapter the protagonist gives up all agency and completely submits to the women. Women who have and continue to manipulate him for their own selfish goals. The authors self insert, Pat, even explains that the protags future will be written and controlled by him.

I kind of feel silly not realizing until now that this is a femdom story. I see it has the 'loving wife' tag. Honestly it would probably fit better in that category.

Should have quit while you were ahead. This one made almost no sense. I'll read the next (hopefully) last chapter in hopes a master like yourself can bring all to a coherent end. Vickie is still a slut.....

This ongoing story has been fantastic, hitting kinda close to home without the money, very touching to tears at times, excellent writing Can't wait for the continuation. Thank You

What bothers me the most is the inconsistencies. The MC is supposed to be a tough guy, a guy with strong will and very often we see him as a pathetic weak guy that submits to women. I cannot understand how he didn't break with Vickie definitely when she supposedly broke him. I don't like what Sandy is doing. As the MC says, she is using him to improve her sex life at home and supposedly the MC doesn't do anything in that regard. I would like the MC to tell her to choose between him and her husband, that she can't have both. I hate those stories in which the females are shared and fuc*ed by anybody. My cup of tea is just the opposite: the females renouncing other males because they are only interested only in the guy they have fallen for.

It remains unexplained at the end of the previous chapter. It seemed that the mothers were going something evil to the MC and the two daughters the next week, but we begin this chapter that six months have passed but it seems that the mothers didn't do anything evil that week. It seems that the author wanted to deceive us and that bothered me.

Not sure where this is headed - there's only so many sex scenes you can do with the same people, then "yawn". Move the plot along, that's what interests me at this point. 4*

I understand that Sandy, Libby, and Phoebe are invited to liven things up. But by the character's character, he's already made up his mind. He only has four girlfriends. He demands loyalty from them and pledges to be faithful to them. That was the pact in the hotel room. And now the pact is broken. This could have consequences.

At the end, Sandy and Libby suddenly disappear. The servants, despite Vicky's warning that Billy is off-limits to them, suck his dick.

The anal sex scene looks like rape at all.

Not sure you could have planned any worse scenaros to bore us at this point. This is simply retarded at this point. Kept hoping there was a reasonable opportunity for this story to be saved, apparently not. Vast majority of us could care less for this type of direction. Look what happened to Bruce Jenner..... totally stupid and waste of human and mankind with that lot.... and you are headed the same direction ............ yuck...... sick sick sick.........

So I've got to ask why are so many of the supposed kink/sex club characters also completely incompetent when it comes to kink/sex? Like it seems like the less kinky a character is the more they know about kink, that seems sort of backwards??

Like every kink/sex club character doesn't understand sex, I truly wonder why you wrote it that way. This is just a part of the character inconsistencies that happen throughout.

Honestly having someone read a first draft to catch some of these inconsistencies so that plot points can be rewritten would probably be a good idea.

I’m starting to enjoy how badly written this story is. Like a terrible comedy that’s so shit you can’t help but chuckle a bit… actually that reminded me, why does a us navy seal giggle like a schoolgirl, men chuckle,

Stork. Bud. You fucking dropped the ball here. Pegging a guy that doesn't want to be pegged? Screw that. That's rape. Up until that point it was wild, but already going out of control. That entire re-visiting the NSA scene should never have been written. Aunt Libby should never have been allowed near him. She and to a lesser extent still Vicky are the worst of the bunch. I'm on my second read through and forgot you put this in here. If you allow Bill to have any sense of decency and selfrespect he has left in chapter 6, you'll have him walk away from the entire family for good. You've basically written the entire female cast as cockhungry sluts using Bill as their personal boy toy and sex slave in all but name. You can do better. You can write better. Be better.

Yep. This tanked.