All Comments on 'Bad Intel on a Cheating - Alternate Ending'

A much better and more likely ending to the story the the original. Thank you.

Glad that someone put a good ending to the original story. I too thought the wife and her friends got off completely. Nice to see someone else understands the relationship between a bolt cutter and a cockcage and the criminal aspects of locking someone in it against their will. I don't remember any story taking this angle. Nicely done. The only thing I didn't agree with in this story was his Mom inviting the slut to his kids birthday. That seemed unnecessary. Guess his mom wanted to rub it in her face? Thanks for the effort. Well played!

Much better than the original. Thank you!

Better than the original, but still not good enough. Failed the “Flip the sexes” test. If those crimes had been committed against a woman, by men, what would the charges have been?!? How long would the sentences be? What would the victim get in the divorce?

ZK

The dialogs are quite emotionless. Mike and Gary are playing High Noon, what a mess.....

Oh dear, it appears that somebody's macho pride got hurt by the original story. But all is OK now, all the wives paid, the wimpy husbands got theirs and loverboy get a good hiding, oh almost forgot: Gary even ends up with the hot Doctor! And we're supposed to be grateful there were no deaths?

So how about a more realistic outcome? Gary goes to the hospital demanding to have the cage removed, he also wants to report sexual abuse. When he starts to tell Dr Gee how to do her job she calls security and the janitor, everybody has a laugh seeing Gary's three inches locked up.

When two female detectives arrive he explains what happened, even playing the recording. After talking to the doctor they realise it's too late to check for drugs and ask if he can prove the recording is genuine. He can't but shows video of his wife fucking her lover and the two detectives talk quietly.

Eventually they tell him there's nothing they can do as he doesn't have any proof of a crime, just a kinky game gone wrong and it'd just be his word against six others. Before they leave they ask the doctor if she wants press charges for harassment.

"no its OK, he's obviously just a wimp cuckold upset because his wife found a better man, she says.

Maybe farfetched but not as bad as this story.

A much better and practical ending. When I read the first one I was shaking my head like, no police report filled or hospital visit to document he was drugged????? He forgave her after such a profound betrayal?????

Thank you for your brave way of fixing an irreparable mistake. Four stars.

The original author simply donned the cucko's cloak and loose and allowed the executioners to get away with it.

Good work. Burn the bitches, and the asshole. I believe the idiot husbands of the bitch friends should also have some kind of restitution.

But that's just my opinion.

A bit light, I think! However, thank you for making the effort - I could not do as well as you have.

Not a bad ending, but with two bad issues: 1 - The lover boy's wife and children would have been much better without him, is wife deserved to know he was a cheater...2 - His boss would have been much better without an employee like him...3*

I could barely restrain myself when I came across the "stay away order."

Much better story than the originals, but your style of writing is choppy. It's too matter of fact, as if you merely fleshed out an outline.

Good detail and great alternate ending. Thanks for sharing!

One mistake a lot of LW writers make: once your spouse is listed as the primary beneficiary of your 401k, you can’t take her off without her permission, a death certificate or a court order.

Thank you this is Way better than the original, 4 stars.

Gary should have sued the meddling friends for the cost of the anniversary party since that had to be cancelled.

BTB stories aren't as enjoyable when the protagonist lets up on the cheaters. It would have made more sense and been better for the story if Mike's employer and wife were given the information instead of Mike getting a fair fight. There was no reason to bring up the wife getting a new guy and no reason to have her at his child's birthday party.

There was an editing failure in that a couple of times the story changed from third person to first person and quickly back again.

This was almost as bad as the original ending. So everyone lives happily ever after what a waste of time reading this..........

Still far too lenient. He should have gone for the jugular.

This isn't sexual assault, and a doctor is not going to go get a maintenance man to cut off a cock cage.

Sorry, but this is still a sucky ending. Either the wimp or his father should have told the mother to support her wronged son or get the hell out. Then, the wimp pulled all the punches, so to speak, and let everyone who humiliated him off easy. Not a better alt ending, just a different one.

Better than the rest but you lost a * on him marrying the emergency room doctor.

So his mom is upset as it was "just a mistake". I wonder how his dad reacted to his wife thinking it was OK as it was just a mistake?

Why not tell the guys wife and company? Kids are more resilient than you think and who are you to assume that they would be hurt? Maybe the wife is a great provider, will have cash, and get all the support she needs from family and friends?

Better than the original but did not like how his mom took her side

This story belongs in “Humor and Satire” and even in that category only the hospital/cage episode fits. Neither original nor erotic.

Multiple errors.

Switching from 3rd person to 1st.

Abbreviations used when they should not be in the body - Det.

Why did we know that the detective was wearing heels?

You couldn't do research to find out the name of a some sleeping pills... or just say the remnants of sleeping pills were found? Rather than they found some drug or other...

He should sue the hospital for getting a maintenance man to remove the cage. It would be a full surgical procedure.

How old are you? He got an erection because the Dr was attractive.

The Dr would not have flirted, end of story and would be unlikely to joke about him staying with his wife.

Get an editor, use Grammarly, do something because I stopped after 1/2 a page.

Loved it. Make the bitches pay and husbands. U the man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

McCockiner, yes, it is sexual assault to drug a man and cage his genitals. The ER will also have the tools to remove such a device and it will be removed.

"Your wife said that you'd cheated." - So what if he DID cheat? Now YOU'VE cheated! Should you get the same treatment?

Finally! A husband with the brains to go to the hospital and the police to deal with the cock cage.

\

"Why? It was a mistake." - It was a "mistake" that his wife believed he cheated. Her "revenge" wasn't a mistake.

Ugh.

I see a lot of hate for the outcome, but I honestly thought it was a realistic and proportional response. They all did time, got a record, and he divorced her. Maybe it was a little light on the narrative tension, but she still got burned.

Maree and the 'girls' will have to register as sex offenders. The legal stuff was pretty accurate, especially the sexual assault, the unlawful use of prescription drugs and the conspiracy charges. There were several more charges they could've brought but were less provable.

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Using the 'cage' and sending the keys away connotes 'malice aforethought', and constitutes 'unwanted sexual contact and/or molestation' which is definitely sexual assault, though perhaps of a lesser degree in those jurisdictions where those degrees exist. He could've also sued the participant's in civil court.

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Very well-written!

Good ending and a excellent story.

The last paragraph. Why would Gary's mother invite his ex to his son's birthday party eight years later??? Other than that, I appreciated the fact that Gary went legal against his wife and her friends. Grouch6977

Gave it a 3. Much better outcome than on the original, but still some problems:

1) Why does he back off on the sentencing request? He should have let the State do its thing, and let the chips fall where they may. Also, it's unrealistic. The state would not have gone along. They have guidelines for this.

2) The revenge on O'Sullivan was too standard LW fare. Sinking his marriage and job would have been more appropriate, as well as less risky. His wife and kids would have done fine - she could easily find someone better and thus the kids would be OK.

3) And why should Maree land another husband so easily, a "nice guy" at that? Her past should confine her to scumbags.

4) And there should have been some repercussions for Gary's mom. Maybe not being invited to the wedding, kept away from the grandsons, etc.

I get that some feel the need to not go nuclear BTB (unrealistic drama most of the time in my opinion), but this was tepid to the point of being boring. Reads like a bunch of bullets gathered together in the hope it'll be entertaining.

@barry_mccockiner- And you know your opinion to be true based on what? This was most certainly assault in my state and I don't believe you could rule out the MD's actions to a certainty. Unusual resolution I agree, but i could imagine a MD getting a cutting tool that worked from some source.

Started out well then went down the tubes. Although his genitals were confined I'm not sure the assault would be considered sexual. A lawyer would have to weigh in on that. The drug charges etc. were valid. I saw one comment that the maintenance man would not have been called to remove the cage. Maybe. The main character did have to sign a waiver. The guy let Sullivan off. He should have turned over the evidence he had and burned him for cheating. I do not like the 'let's fight like men and settle this" idea.

You also slipped up several times going from first to third person in the story. That is poor story telling and even a cursory read should have caught it.

Once the cops were called about this being classified as a sexual assault, the police would have had to take pictures of his caged up cock for evidence.

I'm trying to picture why he didn't buy the equipment he needed to cut the cage off himself rather than exposing his humiliation to several people. News flash: EVERY doctor, nurse, tech and clerk in that emergency room knew what happened to him, and his name, because doctors and nurses and techs and clerks talk. EVERYONE in the police department knew what happened to him, and his name, because there's no way in Hell the cops wouldn't be laughing about this. EVERYONE in the hospital maintenance department knew about this, and probably his name, because there's no way in Hell they wouldn't be talking, and laughing, about it.

Of course, when the wife and her friends were charged, a newspaper and television reporter found out about it, and the reporters all talked to their friends, and the all laughed about it, because that's what they do.

Of course, bolt cutters aren't really very sharp; they work more by crushing the metal than slicing it.

I've never seen a cock cage, but I can't imagine that bolt cutters would really be needed. If they were made of heavy enough metal to require bolt cutters, they'd be really heavy to have to wear.

I like it.... The punishment really fit the crime. Thanks for writing this!

It’s amazing how many folks haunt these pages who have no forgiveness in their hearts—but then again maybe it isn’t given the high divorce rate and the way the courts are biased toward the woman.

Sorry, but while this ending may bring comfort to the victims of unfair court judgements, it’s not very believable. BTW I do wonder what the “other side of the story” would be. Maybe that’s a good line for a new story—one that shows what both partners did leading to the breakup.

Anyway thanks for the effort. cd

I think under the circumstances he totally over reacted. But then there would not have been a story I guess.

No harm was done to him really other than to his pride and ego. To ruin the lives of two other families for revenge is nuts. He would need to watch his back forever. Remember revenge is a dish best served cold. The two husbands could wait a year or two then beat him to death in a “mugging gone wrong”. As fo the wife that was to much as well. Divorce okay, but months in jail that’s stupid. Most normal guys probably would be able to get past it in time if the wife was really contrite. But in this story the wife was better off without him. His marrying the doctor was totally unrealistic. Would never happen.

Clunky narrative with simple sentence structure that made me feel I was in 6th grade being spoon fed the story. Agree with some others, that his actions were mechanical, sterile to the point your character was a robot and I couldn't buy in to your story as a result. The original ending was a lot more engaging. 2*

A nice ending to a story that was very unsatisfactory overall. Still, I cannot understand that he is seriously concerned for the well-being of Mike's family! Mike should have worried when he committed adultery with Gary's wife. It can't be the cheat's concern. Why he allows his ex as a guest on his second child's birthday is a mystery to me!

A supplement to the comments I have read here. As always, there are strong discrepancies between right and wrong in our society. People who stun others with drugs without their knowledge are presented as if the crime were petty offenses. I happened to read a report that unknowingly ingested drugs can lead to circulatory failure and thereby death. So no trifles. Adultery is apparently also seen as trivial in our society. Nevertheless, I read in a study by the Bertalsmann Stiftung that adultery is the most common factor in divorce. So not such a big bagatelle either. And then attaching a cock cage while the man is drugged. Why should, I ask, the man not to go to the police or try to get rid of this thing in a clinic? He is not the criminal offender, but the wife and her assistants. So why should you laugh at him? It is precisely this stupid perception of such situations that women who have been raped do not dare to go to the police or to the clinic because they are ashamed and fear that their most intimate things will be revealed in public. Yes, you idiotic men with your idiotic pride are the very ones who make sure that it is. A victim always has the right to make the injustice committed against him public without having to fear your silly talk!

I'm surprised timriv took time off servicing guys at the local glory hole to make his/her ridiculous comments. I 'm not sure what guys being talked about who would get over being locked in a cock cage and then have to watch video of their wife sucking and fucking another man. That seems like total nonsense.

Very good. Much better than the original ending which sucked. Thanks very much for a much better outcome, and very fair.

A better plot, but the writing...

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The big hit is the change from 3rd to 1st person. That knocked off a point, and my default is 3. Also, much if this reads more like a police report or a news article. It's just statements of what happened.

I hated the original ending for it's limp response by the mc. The only good part was the suggestion the husband's of the two friends be given hall passes as their punishment.

This ending was better. The wife deserved punishment for drugging and 'falsely imprisoning' the mc. The downside for me was the mc marrying the doctor. Not impossible but improbable.

Evah_Rheddy

I like this resolution better and the advice I would give is, make sure you are consistent in perspective. Part of your story is 1st person, part of it is 3rd person. Also, your ending could have been fleshed out a bit more. But the story itself was very enjoyable!

TIMRIV thinks the HUSBAND over reacted... but NOT the wives which committed violent sexual assault and drugged him ???

wow you are a deeply twisted fucked up asshole

This is pretty much what I imagined I would do if I had been unfortunate to suffer.

ReedRichards, Just shut the fuck up with your bullshit.

Better then the first one. But Mike’s wife should have been shown the truth. He knew she was married and did it and threw it in the husband face.

All of you defending the wife in this story I have one question for you. YOUR wife with her friends and their husbands drugs you, puts a cock cage on you, and mails the keys to Oklahoma and you're going to say OK not a big deal?? Let's let bygones be bygones. I think that says a lot about you personally and not in a good way. Sounds like you're pretty wimpy to me to start with.

A real ending is he probably wouldn't do anything other than get the cage removed quietly (embarrassment) and be a prick to everyone involved. She would profess her love, claim future fidelity and promises to never do it again. There friends would quickly be forgotten. Then within a year divorce. He couldn't forget and forgive really and her knowing she broke his trust in her and their marriage.

PS: Mike can piss off a die and his wife will eventually get a clue and leave him.

Cheers

1st and 3rd person issues, "...some drug or the other". damn... You didn't really care much for your own story did you? 3*

Much much better ending. The fact is she drugged him which could have caused a reaction and harmed him, physically restrained him in a manner that could have caused bodily harm getting it removed if things had gone wrong and could classified as sexual assault, and cheated with the help of her friends which is effed up even if he had cheated. It wasn't some simple misunderstanding to laugh about, she could have hurt or killed him. I was tempted to give it a 4 just because of how lightly everyone got off and the fact the mom of him was still hanging around the ex but gave it a 5 because the ending was much more satisfying.

Some of the read was a bit over the top and some had some realism. Whe I recognize Literotica is mostly fiction, a focus on what is

more realistic helps in stories in general.

Decent enough story. he did what any real man would do. Yes it was a bit over the top, but not anywhere nearly as bad as a great deal of them are.

And a real man is not what timriv is, thats a classic wimp cuck if I've ever seen one here. Dont pay any attention to his comments. He made a couple good points but mostly he's cuckville all the way.

Good enough story, especially when you compare it to the original. WTF was his mother's problem?

It was logical, maybe not compassionate or kind, but it was logical, and just. Maree committed adultery to balance the books on her husbands supposed adultery. That's the thinking of a child, or a very intellectually stunted and cruel adult. Why would he want to stay married to such a brainless woman? Maree did him a favor, revealing her true personality and lack of morals and character. Its fine if he forgives her; she made a mistake. But she killed the marriage and he pursued his other options. Sounds like he traded up, significantly.

A decent plot, adequate writing, and a logical sequence of events. Thanks for the effort.

5 stars - I liked this story. ONCE&DONE - No second chances - especially for the planed cuckold and revenge.

@BuzzCzar, yes, I had meant to comment on that also. How does the author not know what drug was used in his own story? Yes, TECHNICALLY it was the character, but why write it like that?

So, so on the revenge - he really wimped out, should have burned the asshole down not just beat him up. 10 days in hospital does not equal a marriage destroyed. The women should have had to all register as sex offenders as well - that was a missed bit.

3/5

Liked this version. Was surprised the police didn’t ask for a blood test as well

A better ending than the original that’s for sure.

He should’ve burnt O’Sullivan totally. The asswipe did not deserve mercy. What he destroyed should’ve been lost to him as well. He cheated on his family, what sort of man is he??

Scores 4/5

Much better than the original ending. A little more moaning and groveling by the three women as they tried to lessen their punishment would have been nice. None of them ever acknowledged what was done to the MC was wrong even if he had been guilty of adultery. Liked the matter of fact manner in which the doc and the police dealt with his chemical and sexual assaults.

Fucking your patient will get you fined, deregistered and your name published pretty much world wide. Some medical boards will permit suitably counseled couples a relationship after a period of time. The doctor is guilty of unprofessional conduct and a breach of patient trust...but I suspect because she is a woman you do not care to much. No amount of icing can disguise a shit cake.

Terrible writing. Reads like some juvenile wrote it. Can't say I liked it. Not going to score it.

Ok story.

Agree better than the original.

But the treatment of O’Sullivan raises questions.

Our MC was understandably upset with Maree’s actions but not apparently the cheating, he must think the cheating was no big deal because he couldn’t bothered to tell the scumbags wife that she’s married to a cheater.

Ok story. AAA+++

Once in the same sentence.

That’s something that can usually be caught by reading the story out loud.

Better than the original. That's all I can say.

EVERYBODY is horrified by their behavior and sorry about what they did... when they get caught. Tears and words mean nothing. This version was better than the original, but I think too many writers on this site are worried about being seen as cold and inflexible, so we get the standard "Gandhi" ending where everyone has a quick cuddle and sings Kum ba ya.

/

Let the punishment fit the crime. This world is filled with amoral people yearning to screw someone over simply because it makes them feel powerful. Slap 'em down and leave 'em in your wake. Let 'em find their own redemption. God is a fair and righteous judge: He'll sort 'em out.

Far more realistic. "Actions have consequences," and "Sometimes 'sorry' is not enough," are truisms that apply in a situation like this. Thanks for the new ending.

I liked this version over the original version, especially the ending. I feel that everyone got off too easily. Personally he should have told Mikes wife how he fucked with a co-worker behind her back. Maybe even sent her the pics or a copy of the video. The 3 women should have been tagged "sex offenders" for the rest of their lives once released from jail. Something most of the other commenters missed. Sorry, but that's just the way the legal system works. You whizz outdoors and someone sees you, you get that tag. Yes, everybody is sorry once they get caught. No thought about it when it was happening though, no regrets other than going to jail either. The women played it off like a prank until caught. The wife should have talked to the husband before going nuclear, and could have saved us the whole story about how she fucked up her marriage.

I liked this version.

IF, and that is a big IF, you can get past the unbelievable ignorance of a spouse that would do something like this, then this ending felt like the logical conclusion. I suppose there are some husbands out there that would let a wife and her friends off the hook for something like this but it feels MUCH more like a criminal act and jail time type of revenge to me. It's just really hard to imagine a wife stupid enough to do something like this without a single shred of proof.

My kind of ending!!! 5 Stars!!!

Stupid

great story,what was the deal with his mom and his wife.

This redo gets a solid 4* the other one got a 2*. This trio female buddies fed off each others confidence in having macho righteousness, that blew up in their faces due to a lack of situational information. Wonder if the three are still tight, bet not? And the two husbands getting pulled into this plot and getting a record form it had to put two mothers on a very short leash. I am surprised his ER visit was paid by the insurance with pending criminal case on three wives.

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4*, hooyah, salutes...

That’s a really good ending. Nothing outlandish, and entirely appropriate. I wonder about one thing: how Gary’s mom acted about the arrests, and attending the hearing. Had it been my mother, I’d let her know that she’d betrayed me.

wow perfect *5

Naïve. Author needs more knowledge of how things really work. Read more!

excellent ending, way better than the original

I don't get why you are rewriting these preposterous stories. You are a better writer, that "An Ordinary Man" is a real good example of nice writing with your own plot, why bother with repairing garbage of worse authors?

You do need some editing, you keep on flipping from 1st person to 3rd person in your stories, the sentences are sometimes interrupted or telegraphic etc.

I think you are a good writer, just stick to your own stuff, it is good enough, in fact better than crap from regular LW "characters."

Mom needs her ass kicked by Dad and told by son to make a choice! Tim and Jim needed a little " misfortune " in their lives also. Then it would have been an acceptable rewrite.

Excellent rewrite except for two minor points, First when he was asked by the prosecutor about what he wanted as punishment the only correct reply should have been "I want them all prosecuted to the greatest extent of the law". Secondly, He should have used the info on Sullivan. Presumably, which would of led to Sullivan loosing his job. Then Gary could have given his ass beating to Sullivan afterward.

Would have been better if Jane, Anne, and their husbands were all put in jail at the same time. Let their kids get spend time in the foster system. As for Mike, he didn’t care about his marriage enough to be faithful and definitely didn’t care about Gary and Maree’s marriage. So the proper response is to send Mike’s wife all of the evidence and ket her decide what happens.

In a way she got off too easy and the friends hubbys got off Scott free. They deserved alil beating too

Rereading it changed my opinion on the story. Way better than the original!

Maree had to assume the worst. She then fucked Mike. She said she loves him. If you love somebody, you don't do that shit. EXCELLENT WRITING!

Another outstanding add on to a rather disturbing original. Great job 5 stars

Better than the original. Mike still got off to easy. Mike's wife should have discovered evidence of infidelity on Mike's phone by accident while Mike was in the hospital. Gary's friend could still have anonymously notified Gary's employer of job issues.

Gary's mum is a sell-out....bitch even had front row in court!! Maree must have been living her inner fantasies!!

WELL DONE TO GARY!! O'Sullivan got off easy

Sorry assed story.

Marees friends hubbys should have done some little time as well, after all they were a part of the conspiracy, and should have some time locked up. LP

What kind of psycho does this? As for the writing I thought it was very good and not over the top. I also think the other husbands should have been punished. Imagine all he went through and the one husband trys to appeal to his what ? Anyway good effort.