Bad Sex

"So storm out and get the wrap back?"

"I think so, hang on let's ask him."

So we get him to come over and he likes it. Been thinking of adding comedy to his routine anyway. Not in what he does but his comments which is a good idea, he is a little bland. Impressive routine for him, not Houdini quality but it is a good act. Also a bit missing of something, I think mostly he isn't an outgoing fella, just does his routine and off.

Also work on what we do with him. Finally decide on I get his hat to bring out, with a rabbit in it. Cutest little rabbit, I'll say that, but I don't want to wear the hat, what if the rabbit has droppings. We add in that he has to give me my hat back, it is a small hat so it will fit. Not that it goes in the hat with the rabbit, he gets to pocket that.

Rest of the dancers show up at some point. I get to work with the new line girl on her dancing, along with the rest of the line. She is just new to chorus line dancing, not that it is hard or anything. Also get plenty of hugs on account of the blessed event. Nobody asks if I am going to work hard on getting a fella.

Little odd that but not a bad thing so I let it slide. Not that I am going to find a fella. I'm pretty darn sure I'll have Frieda and call it best. Just as soon as I get past the teachings at least, which is hard. All of the writings are about how it is wrong for a skirt to know a skirt like a fella knows a skirt. Same thing with fellas knowing a fella.

Not that it works well, three letter men are all over. Seems odd it is easier to know a fella who is bent than a skirt. Perhaps it is simply because there are more fellas than skirts. I mean the teachings go on about how a skirts place is married to a fella having his kids. Fellas don't really get the same thing, they get told to only with a skirt they married and not often is that mentioned.

Usually it is no nookie before marriage. Not that Father McMichael pressured me to do that. Course he enjoyed my confessions about nookie with fellas, though I did give him the blow by blow. Perhaps he didn't pressure me to only when married because of that. Well there was the first time I did confessional at his cathedral.

Berated me for not waiting then asked what happened. Snap out of my thinking by being ushered on stage, the fella is asking for his hat. He yelled a few times about needing his hat even, and the crowd goes a little nuts when they see me. I even vamp it over to the fella and he takes the hat and I complain about losing my hat, so his is shown around to show it is empty.

He hams it up a bit then reaches in and pulls out the rabbit. So I am berating him about not getting my hat as he reaches in and pulls out my hat. So hand over my fans and get the hat on and clipped then take my fans back, which is when he grabs the wrap. He makes like he is blowing me away, gets the crowd in on it then I twirl off with a squeal.

Get the big old crash sounds, we have the big hand drum things offstage. Then I am stomping back across stage to him short one fan. Grab the wrap, that he had rolled up, and stomp back off stage. The crowd is laughing and clapping so I get ushered back on and give a bow. Rest of the night I'm not doing anything.

End up getting out of the costume and back in my dress then go out into the lobby. Keelan is doing out orders so I just stand there and wait until no more calls for coney or popcorn. Then I go over to her.

"I thought you were going to be working today." Shake my head.

"Mostly this whole week is spent getting ready for Friday. Can only practice before we open and don't want to go home, little unfair on everyone else. Also can't just sit around back stage so I figured I'd come out here. You missed my appearance on stage in costume."

"Heard about it, some fellas came for popcorn talking about what you did. Mostly it was on how you bared your middle though they all thought it was the bee's knee's what you did."

"Hopefully we can do as good with an introduce tomorrow."

More people come out to get snacks and I get ushered in the stand. Given an apron I don that and help Keelan hand out popcorn. Also get recognized by one of the fellas so they are all asking when I'm going to show more. Explain on that and they are happy with it, promise to be back on Friday. Course when they leave a bunch more come out right after and they are intent on talking to me.

Olga comes over and I get ushered to the office. Which is good for all concerned since I'm not in costume and not a quiff anyway. Get stared at when I am shoved in the office with the door shut after.

"You are not in costume."

"I was only doing the one time on stage today and bad form to sit around backstage with those who are doing things today. I got in my dress and went out to talk to Keelan. The fellas decided I'm out there to talk to them so Olga rescued."

"What were the other two skirts doing?"

"They were way in the back talking to each other, practically at our closet door. They were trading tales of fellas they have given nookie to, honestly I'm pretty sure they are a couple of quiff."

"You weren't far off, I did hear your tales on nookie stops at this joint or that."

"True, but I was looking for a fella to ride me good and get a manacle on him."

"You told me you were looking at fellas and want a skirt."

"Probably do, but it's not something that has actually happened yet. I mean I like her and kissing has me ready for the nookie, but I can't get past the teachings."

"Yeah but you never got that way with the fellas." Sigh and look at my feet.

"I know, I like looking at fellas and all anybody ever said was it's better when you are goofy over a fella. I simply figured it was because I never got goofy."

"Makes sense. According to Max you had an idea for a colored mummy, what was that?"

"All of those strips of cloth to use for the wrap. I figured put them all on and it is the unwrapping of the mummy."

"So do that on Friday?" Shake my head.

"I figured for Friday we do what we already decided, I don't want to be wearing that costume. Make it a running gag for the whole performance. I admit it won't be that hard for me, the skirt is scandalous."

"You do show off your gams doing the chorus line."

"Yeah, just we only show them briefly and not well since we got the skirts on. The skirt on that shows my knees. Definitely make that a complaint and we better see about getting more color costumes, different would be nice."

"I'll see what upstairs says, though I do get a stipend to take care of complaints with."

"That costume will get complaints from the skirts. I mean my knees show up wearing them after losing the piece."

"That was what I was given, though you are right. I'll see what I can do and different costumes is a good idea. Be boring if you are all in the same thing over and over."

"Surprised nobody complained about the line."

"The fellas are happy there is one. Skirts call the costume revealing but nobody has outright complained. Do you think keep doing like we are, appearance during the week then the weekend we have burlesque?"

"Would make the skirts happy, if all we do is burlesque their fella will come here often. Won't be that good for attendance I think but won't hurt."

"I'm going to call it up, our boss is visiting down the street." Shake my head.

"He is your boss, you are my boss. Do please get a photographer, there are three skirts doing burlesque."

"Done. I'll call for one tomorrow before you come in, promise to have better signs done up by Friday. Go see how the two skirts are doing and send them in here. May as well talk it over with them."

Go find the two other skirts and send them to our boss. Both are jealous about me being able to get back in my regular dress. Share the plan on getting different costume which goes over well. See them off to the office then figure why not and go find Keelan. Nobody is out buying at the moment though do stop at the small stand where Olga is, selling candy.

"Olga are you hiding?" Gets me a grin.

"Decide on take easy day. Want chocolate?"

"Yeah give me two, I'll share."

Olga gives me two bars so break one in half and give her half. Get a great big smile out of her then head for Keelan. Toss the other half to our third snack skirt and get to Keelan. I am breaking the second bar in half when some fellas come out. Get pulled in to the stand with her and pushed down so the fellas don't see me.

Good that she did, they are talking about the skirt that showed off her middle. Turn completely scarlet when they start talking about my big bubs. I don't really have that big of bubs, though they will get bigger eventually. Get my shoulder squeezed as Keelan gets a couple coney on the buns. Finally though the fellas have gone back inside, and I get pulled up so give her half the bar.

"I can't decide if it is nice they keep talking about me or completely horrible."

"Honestly those three were nicer than some of them have been. A number of fellas were talking about how you are such the quiff."

"Damn, that was supposed to be from the skirts since I do burlesque."

"Remember there was the one on Friday." Reminds me of what else happened and I need to tell Keelan.

"Well if you come sleep with me again don't be surprised to find Frieda there."

"Already replacing me to help with rent?" Shake my head.

"I guess you missed the part where I'm blessed with a kid. Frieda is sleeping with me because we are in a sense dating. I'm hoping it works because I seriously want someone special before my kid is in hand."

"So you don't like fellas?"

"I think no, I do, but don't so I'm confused on it. Just, when I kiss a fella it just feels nice, when I kiss Frieda I feel like there is a fella on top."

"Bit like it is for me when I kiss a fella. Joseph though is better so I guess I'm going goofy." Smile at Keelan then give her a hug.

"That is great news, just remember to not say I'm dating Frieda. She is going to help me afford a two bedroom apartment on the third floor."

"To be honest I was thinking you would move with Joseph and me, there are duplex houses. So we all move to one of those and you get the other half."

"How many bedrooms?"

"Two to three in each half, three floors. At least the ones he showed me."

"So he can't afford to get one?"

"Doesn't matter, seems his bosses are picking it up. Joseph is unsure on having another made man in the building with him so I suggested you."

"I'm not sure I like that, I'd be shacking up with another skirt. His bosses are Catholic like me so they wouldn't be happy."

"We can ask, though you would need a jalopy, it's fifty miles."

"I don't get paid that well. I may be able to afford mortgage payments but a jalopy I can't do and taking the subway would make mortgage and food hard."

"Oh no you are missing one thing, his bosses are picking up the lot, two streets. It is a bad neighborhood but they are making it better, and made men living there, the scum would leave."

"So they would give me the rooms?"

"Not in so many words, they would demand payment but it would be a number you can afford, like say your current rent."

"Well I guess you can have Joseph ask and I'll ask Frieda. Still have the problem of the jalopy."

More fellas come out so I drop down again. This time at least they are not talking about my bubs. They are talking about my rear and how I'm shapely. Not precisely better but I don't turn completely scarlet. One thing does occur to me so when we are alone out here again I pop up and ask.

"So we would have a duplex of not Italian in a block of Italians?"

"Oh well shoot, I didn't think of that, still though I have met his guys and they are nice. Teased Joseph on not getting a proper Italian skirt. They all thought I'm tight which they play whispered."

We are both giggling about that then notice the clock, we are closing up soon. In fact the line should be going out about now, then I hear the music. Leave Keelan there and hurry to get into the back so the fellas don't surround me. Definitely don't want that, even if I did enjoy the nookie with a fella being surrounded without some fellas to protect I'll probably get turned into a quiff.

More or less a nice way of saying a number of the fellas would get nookie from me. If I wanted to or not which is definitely a don't want. Find the other skirts doing burlesque with me in our closet getting in their regular dress. Both are wearing do rags and pulling out gaspers, which sounds nice so pull out my hope chest.

Rest of the line comes in to find us smoking gaspers and out of costume so swat all three of us. Plenty of laughing about it as well then plenty of discarding of warpaint ensues. I'd leave but I'm waiting for Fen and Keelan. Not sure if Keelan is getting a lift and Fen will want someone to walk with.

Course I want someone to walk with as well, Frieda has a point. It is dangerous to just walk around alone as a skirt. Especially late like we are at, the only folk still up are working, just getting off work, or bad guys. Been more of those of late, most likely since as Frieda said work is drying up. Britney suddenly hops up and dashes out only to return with Fen.

Fen comes over to me and we watch everyone else getting dressed to go. Fairly sure everyone is going to a juice joint since there are plenty of do rags.

"Did you ever figure out a routine?" Look at Fen and grin.

"The costume they got for us quiff has a bare middle. The covering that comes with is designed to come off in a twirl, but it's like two feet if that. So I got a big length of cloth, at least ten feet and twirl out of that. Did it on stage as a sort of tease on what is coming. Going to keep the week free of burlesque so the families will come in then the weekend do that."

"I want to work here, the costume they gave us is sheer except at the bubs. The skirt part isn't sheer at least but it doesn't leave much hidden."

"The one we have for this weekend bares my knees. So not happy with that part but we are getting more costumes to wear."

"Mary go get Keelan, we are all going to your juice joint." Just stare at Amanda a second.

"Why are you taking me to a juice joint?"

"So we can celebrate your blessed event. Not to mention you got those fellas all riled up. If you come along we will be mobbed for nookie."

"How is that a good thing?" Fen pokes me as everyone else is giggling

"Blessed event?"

"I am supposed to be having flow as of Monday. I'm regular and not been acting like I am close so there is only one answer."

"I don't know, you are not young." Groan and grab her nose then stand up to go see Keelan.

Fen comes along making noise about her nose getting laughs behind us. When we get close to the lobby I let go and slow us down so I can talk to her.

"You remember Frieda?"

"The skirt at the diner?" Nod and put my arm around Fen.

"I am dating her in a matter of speaking. I discovered that she is bent and all indications say I am the same way."

"So you don't enjoy nookie with fellas?"

"Well I do a little, do get off with the fella some. Always leaves me wanting more, just not really more of a fella. Also really like when Frieda kisses me."

"This is bad?"

"You should talk to people besides celestial more often. I'm Catholic and it is in the teachings that it doesn't happen. Since most of the country is Catholic or another Christian where it says the same thing, I have to not advertise it."

"I have been of late, not in Chinatown you know."

"Oh shoot, I forgot about that. Are you being paid more than the chorus line since you do the burlesque?"

"I wish, my apartment is not that cheap."

"Well in four months I would move to the third floor for a two bedroom. Need a room for my kid. Opens up my apartment and you should be able to afford it. Unless you get paid less than I do."

"Hey I thought you wanted to get that duplex with me and Joseph." Gasp because I hadn't noticed Keelan being right there.

"I'm not sure how that would go over with his bosses. Not to mention the need for a jalopy. Though I would like to, don't have to worry about the neighbors taking offense."

"Either way sounds good, opens up your apartment for me to rent. Unless you wouldn't mind if I went with." We are both staring at Fen now.

"Wait, I thought you were dating Frieda, and that you liked fellas." Fen tosses up her hands.

"I do like fellas, just if I move with it would make affording a jalopy easier."

"You just want someone you know around for when you get blessed so you can pass your kid off on them for work."

"I hadn't thought of that. I'm saying go with because it would mean jalopy right away. Also, you are one of the few who doesn't care that I'm not precisely white." Sigh and look at Keelan who nods.

"She has a point, and I'd most likely be a housewife as soon as I get blessed. I can nanny your kid and hers for some income."

"I would ask why I had to pay you but I was going to get a paid nanny anyway. Alright, first though we need to have Joseph ask his bosses since they are the ones who own the houses." Fen pokes me and winks.

"With me along they will say yes, I would be a mistress. I haven't wanted to be hitched, but do enjoy the nookie."

"Not with Joseph." Fen rolls her eyes.

"I wouldn't mind him wanting to, but you are a friend so I would not unless you said I could."

Olga comes by and yells at us to clean so we get to work cleaning. Get the place done up in no time then find the rest of the skirts and catch a couple taxis. Oddly enough Keelan didn't have a lift lined up. Joseph is off being busy with something, which says he is either helping to take something off trucks, or something even more dangerous.

At least made men don't do dangerous things that often. Keelan will get married to Joseph and grow old with him. At least probably, but him being a pol it is a much higher chance of it than if she got an Italian. Not that she would get an Italian, she wouldn't be anything but a mistress at best with one of those.

Course I could be making an assumption, made men are offed at most any time. Luckily though for the most part they retire. Which isn't what they do really, they just stop going around and doing things, they get fellas that do that for them. At the joint we all go inside and I head for the bar, then get pulled along to dance.

Didn't want to cut a rug but why not, don't have to give out nookie. So I cut the rug and get a gigolo. He's a good dancer so I push him a bit and we get the space to really cut the rug. Do it for a while so we are both drooping when we stop, then I get pulled away from him by Keelan and Joseph. The fella I danced with was upset until he looked at Joseph.

Little odd but he leaves it be so we go sit at a table, with Fen. Fen looks like she got to enjoy a little nookie already. Keelan doesn't but she is definitely going to in the near future.

"Hey listen if you want to get the nookie out of the way first the table there is empty." Joseph chuckles while Keelan kicks me.

"My girl was saying you want to have other half of duplex." Point at Fen.

"Fen wants to move in with, and I am seeing about being with a skirt. Need to ask her, and then ask your bosses since I am Catholic as well and know that is a big sin." His jaw drops for a moment then Keelan has leaned into him and is talking.

"Oh my, knocked up and decide want skirt."

"I would be willing to be a quiff to our neighbors, I like fellas and we are both dancing burlesque." Joseph stares at Fen then grins until he jerks and looks at Keelan.

"Was not think for me, have told what wish already. Am think that Fen will mean is viewed as fine to allow. Where you two dance?" We share our theaters and he gets a smile. "Oh this good, boss is partner in Fen theater. Where is skirt you are with?"