All Comments on 'Bastille Day Ch. 01'

First, why so much snorting? He snorted, she snorted, he snorted back. What's' the problem? Mutual post-nasal drip? Second, why no "I said - she responded" or anything to give the reader an idea of who was saying what to whom? That uninterrupted dialog technique may work in short bursts, but after a few exchanges and some internal thoughts thrown in, it's hard to keep track. Finally. it was like reading a Dragnet script. Terse, sentence fragments, entire conversations without a single object or personal pronoun. Was this an experiment?

I agree with the above comment regarding the endless use of "snorting" as a means of expression between the main characters. While I am sure we all snort from time to time, this repetition became absurd and distracting. There are so many ways to use different wording from laughed, expressed, giggled or simply he said or she said.

Just to explain before others comment on this:

In most conversations, people often respond with a half-sentence, going on to use complete sentences, if they want to say more. Samuel Johnson thought that we should speak as we would write, but we don't, and in the 18th century, apparently, people didn't.

Snorting is a form of non-verbal communication, often silent. The other person probably only notices the momentary change in the expression of the snorter's face.

My using the word is only shorthand for that, does not suggest more.

Maybe this blurb from a link found with a Google search helps:

"Other non-verbal vocal behaviours, such as laughing, snorting, sighing and verbal encouragers, also give meaning to verbal communication as do extra-linguistic phenomena such as accent and duration of utterances "

('You Don't Have to Shout'—Vocal Behaviour in Social Work Communication

S Hanna, M Nash - Social Work Education, 2012 - Taylor & Francis)

I liked the story, enjoyed the flirtatious repartee .As to the comments about snorting ....derisive snort!!!

My pet peeve is the misuse of the word smirk.....snorts disgustedly

Please keep up the good work, I enjoy your stories

I have to agree that the constant use of the word snort or snorting really detracts from the the story. I would like for you to use other words if possible. Other then this comment I enjoyed the interaction of the characters and the story.

Thanks

A lovely long lead in to an erotic climax.

'Snort' should probably be removed from your vocabulary !

I really enjoyed reading story. But I could not understand snorting. Now I see comments that I now understand. I am looking forward to reading more. Very enjoyable sexy story. But, comments indicate I should not include the word snorting in my English vocabulary or I may not be understood.

Elín

Reykjavík Iceland