All Comments on 'Beach Party Pt. 01'

Using a ball gag on someone and being coerced to be tied up and taken away does not equate to BDSM, she’s just been beaten and kidnapped. From the tags attached to your story infer that Samantha the captive is a lesbian but her actions in the story imply that she’s either bisexual or heterosexual which would make the love she has for the other woman Bailey is just platonic. The men didn’t seem to care which woman they took so that kinda rules out kidnapping for ransom, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to beat her up either, you’re sending really mixed messages in the body of the story.

The category and tags are to classify and provide a synopsis which combined act as trigger warnings for readers. Presumably this is headed towards human trafficking and as far as I’m concerned that’s not erotic. I admire your bravado in actually submitting a story but what you’ve put forward would probably benefit from an editor.

Tess (UK)

You are correct and I will be honest I did not know what sort of tags to use. This is only part one. I do plan to explain motives. The beating up part while harsh, does get explained. I 100% agree that my writing would benefit from an editor, but a story like this...I would be hard pressed to find one. I will look more into the editing offered though this site.

Please don't count out Sam's feelings. When I wrote this I was coming from a place where showing more than platonic love for a woman was not aloud, so it might come across a little less forward. Thank you for your comment though. I will take it into account when editing part 2.