Beanbag 03

Beanbag 03

Oh, hey there, yep, it's me, Beanbag, also known as Countess Beanie with the Body and I'll start out this chapter by saying that, yep, everybody in my live still have issues, so very many issues. I mean, I have zero issues and I live just fine, so, I honestly don't know how all of these people are so comfortable can put up with having so many issues.

Anyways, also since the last chapter, I have been petitioning the world to drop the word "vampy" from the prefix of my moniker because vampy vampire vixen seemed a little extreme, but then, somehow, I picked up an extra "wicked" instead, so, I had a small issue with that for a minute but then I moved on.

And I suppose that I can open with if the last chapter is still fresh in your memory, I mean, I have no issue admitting that I passed out when wheezing Rodger Rodgers called me out and held me to my request for an invite to his next game night.

I just didn't expect the "next game night" to come so soon! I mean, in what world do nerd crews play that much video, hmm?

[Stares and blinks eyes blankly while remembering that happens all the time and all around the world]

Well, whatever because all that's important is that wheezing Rodger Rodgers' step mom would never let me into her basement nerd cave with the guys while dressed like a wicked vampy little vampire vixen Trap, right?

"OMG, you're so cute!"

[Dangerously embraces the wicked vampy little vampire vixen, who was only saved from spinal injury by the pair of soft frontal bags]

"I should take you to the Line Dance Club with me tonight to lure in more men who would fall under the spell of a vampire and offer up their necks and maybe their wooden vampire killer stakes! Anyways, I'm a modern woman and everybody is of age, so, um, woo, this might be the first time that the nerds had a girl in the basement, but if you have an issue with it, then you should have stayed home, sweetie. Now, help me with my two sizes too small bra and I'll tell you all about their schedule."

[A foot propped up just above Rodger Rodgers' step mom's booty]

"[Grunt, grunt, grunt] breathe out, Mrs. Rodgers or I'll never get your bra strap to fasten! I'm a little vampire, for Pete's sakes!"

[Exhales, snap, latch, boing, boing, shift, swoosh, boing, ahh, they both settle into the cups]

Women, right? They always look in the mirror and give them a little bounce, right?

[Boing, boing, lift, shift, boing, boing]

"Well then, let's see any of the men down at the Line Dance Club not try to stab me with their wooden vampire stakes tonight! Anyways, sweetie, you're the wicked vampy vampire vixen babysitter tonight, so, the pervert nerds in the basement nerd cave like their microwave snacks at 7pm and then they fill the basement with those "fap, fap, fap" sounds at about 8pm and then they pass out at promptly 9pm into a heap of nerd flesh, so, ta, ta!"

Oh, did I have issues with Rodger Rodgers' step mom knowing that much information? You bet I did! But it might now be that uncommon since basements might be echo chambers, maybe, I don't know! But I do know that Rodger Rodgers step mom had issues and more than the issue of shoving two large sized air bags into a medium sized boulder holder.

But I had to give the nerds the benefit of the doubt, right?

[Clump, clump, clump, clump, down the steps the wicked vampy little vixen of a vampire clumps]

"Hi guys, hey there, hey!"

"[Nerd George.] Aww, yeah, we're vampire neck snacking big time tonight! [Pats the couch to offer a place to sit]"

"[Nerd Freddy.] Uh-huh, that's right, we were expecting you, our Princess of the Bean Bag! [Pats his lap to offer a place to sit]"

"[Nerd Craig.] I can't believe it's all true! But my vampire killing wooden stake says otherwise! [Pats the arm of the arm chair to offer a place to sit]"

"[Nerd wheezing Rodger Rodgers] I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm passing out! [Passes out early]"

Nope!

Wait, WTF? How did that guy, that guy with the most issues, get invited to the circle jerk game night?

"[The wrecker of reps, breaker of wrist cuffs, and the only of his kind!] Go ahead, Beanbag, clump run back up the steps because even a wicked vampy vampire vixens get scared when it's a four on one circle jerk game night and I'm a tad bit short of creeper booty shots from you and [photo snap] I need more Beanbag booty shots to ruin your rep even further [photo snap], so, go ahead beanie baby, shake that vampire booty all the way up the steps for my rep ruining camera [photo snap]."

You know, for that guy with all the issues ruining my rep for several weekends, that doesn't seem to be the case.

[The wicked, vampy vixen of a vampire starts to clump, clump, clump, clump, back up the steps much quicker than the vampire clumped down the steps just moments before!]

"[Photo snap] oh, Queen of the Bean, Princess of the Night, now you're just teasing me now because [photo snap] that's how all steps should be climbed [photo snap]! Now finish off my rep trashing evidence by giving me a over the shoulder flash of those boyfriend hungry fangs that are designed to suck any and all body fluids out of your next boyfriend victim, Beanbag [photo snap] and hiss at my camera and hiss me hard! [photo snap]"

Hm, boyfriend hungry fangs, huh? I mean, let's just ignore how that's like the third sexual suggestion that Sammy, the wrecker of reps, breaker of wrist cuffs and I blame his parents for his existence because his parents probably have issues, has imprinted in my head!

"[SOB, the wicked, vampy vampire vixen obeyed and hissed through those fangs!] Hiss! Hiss! Hiss!"

"[Photo snap] OMG, I'm going to pass out, Beanbag [photo snap], but not before I hissy fit wreck your hissy face rep [photo snap] because now, I have your hissing fanged rep in my hands [photo snap]"

Well, from where I standing near the top of the basement steps, I mean, I'm pretty sure that Sammy had his crotch in his free hand, but I believed him about how strutting up a set of stairs probably produced the booty shake evidence that he needed to, you know, wreak havoc with my rep.

"Pass out, Sammy, wrecker of reps, breaker of wrist cuffs, the one and only of his kind."

"[Photo snap] not yet, my newly little rep trashed vampy vampire [photo snap] because I have you all figured out now and I know that when you bring down the 7pm microwave snacks, mm, mm, mm, my next evidence will be how you can't help but to unbutton your Denim shorts beach style [photo snap] and that will put the zipper in my wreaking absolute havoc with your rep [photo snap]"

It's not possible that I'm getting used to him, right? And by the way, getting used to someone is not exactly the same as actually falling for the wrecker of reps, breaker of wrist cuffs, the only of his kind!

Besides, Sammy has a rep for having stood in line twice when they were passing out man parts and I struggled enough with my other couple of times and I'm worried about getting a rep as a choker, a gagger and a spitter.

Also, unbuttoning my Denim shorts, beach style, is not his fourth sexual suggestion. That's just once a week.

But since Mrs. Rodgers had departed for the Line Dance Club, I mean, it was about 7pm, so, I mean, even nerds have to have their 7pm microwave snacks, right? Like you know, that Freddy guy with the bushy hair and that one side eye that he has for me regardless of my ruined rep.

[Weep, an outgoing text about 30 steps away]

"Listen for the beep, beep, beep for the taco rolls, Freddy."

[Whoop, a pretty casual 30 steps away response text]

"And then what, Beanbag?"

[Weep, another outgoing text about 30 steps away]

"And then check one box, is my rep vampy? Check yay or nay."

[Whoop, a pretty perked up response from 30 steps away in the basement]

"I mean, I mean, I mean..."

[Weep, what's going on here outgoing text about 30 steps away]

"Check one box, is my mouth vampy? Check yay or nay."

[Whoop, a "boing" perked up response from 30 steps away in the basement]

"I mean, I mean, I mean..."

[Weep, a somebody side eyed Freddy back outgoing text about 30 steps away]

"Check one box, is your vampire killer wooden stake hard? Check yay or nay."

[So, a nerd can clump, clump, clump, clump up the steps like that, but that guy, Freddy, can't hardly walk straight without stumbling or play basketball????]

"Well, that was fast, Freddy, I mean, what were you, just 30 steps away, hmm?"

"I mean, I mean, I mean, Beanbag, I..."

"Ah-ahh, ah-ahh, ah-ahh, Freddy! Beanbag has a prissy rep and is hardly worth your time, so, are you interested in a hissy wicked vampy vampire vixen encounter tonight, hmm? Unless you're worried about your rep for having the blood sucked into your other head by a fanged Countess vixen vampire who shares your side eye vision because..."

[Both reps are at risk since they back stepped into Rodger Rodgers bedroom to perform the blood sucking ceremony]

I mean, guys, right? They love to hear it sloppy and wet, but not so much with words.

[Zip, zip, zip, push the Queen of the Beanbag down to knees and shuts that vampy mouth up!]

Huh, well then, will you look at that vampire killer wooden stake then! I could take that the other way some day! I think.

"[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]"

"OMG, Countess Bag Boss, this is so much better than my hand! Make it sound wet, Beanbag!"

"[Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, oomph, slurp, oomph, suck, oomph, gasp, gag, ooh, gag, ooh]"

"Oh, oh, Queen of the Bean, I already whacked off two times today, so I hope you have a rep for being a blood sucking vampire for at least 20 minutes more because I'm not blowing my nerd nut any time soon!"

"(Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale) Freddy, your size is prefect and you can be the first to smash face me into my bed in the coming weeks! [Oomph, slush, oomph, gasp, sucky suck, gag, oomph, slush]"

"OMG!"

[Spew, spew, blast, gulp, spew, spew, spew, blast, gulp, squirt, squirt, gulp, spew, ahh, ooze, ooze, ahh]

Well, sex talk has its own rep and I've heard that it works every time.

End Beanbag 03