Beanbag 04

Beanbag 04

"[Photo snap] Beanbag, I'm so mad at you for doing my rep ruining job [photo snap] and I'm this close to finding another Tranny Trap to stalk!"

"OMG, Sammy, I didn't know that Rodger Rodgers' dad was home and spying on Freddy and myself while we were, um, having relations, so, I mean, Sammy [brushes fingers through Sammy's hair], you're still my wrecker of reps, breaker of wrist cuffs and the only of his kind, so, right?"

"[Photo snap] well, I mean, well, you owe me something now, Beanbag [photo snap] because now, every nerd dad in town wants to host a game night [photo snap] when their wives go to the Line Dance Club [photo snap], so, you owe me the biggest rep ruining situation in the history of rep wrecking!"

I mean, folks, I swear it, I didn't know that Rodger Rodgers' dad was home that night, let alone spying! Now, that idiot, Freddy, who has issues, knew it because they were looking eye to eye with each other while I was down on my knees for Freddy, so, that guy Freddy is on my list for not saying anything!

And by the way, have you noticed a double standard here because Freddy's rep wasn't threatened and most certainly, Rodger Rodgers' dad's rep wasn't tarnished because he finally had a legit reason to jack himself off within the walls of his house instead of down at the fag flophouse! And OMG, let's not forget about how Mrs. Rodgers' rep blew up through the roof with her two sizes too small bra at the Line Dance Club!

But whatever since my life is surrounded with people who have issues.

Also, don't judge for keeping the wrecker of reps, the breaker of wrist cuff and one and only of his kind in the loop of my planned activities. I already said in the last chapter that I was getting used to Sammy and I most certainly also said that's not the same as falling for him, so.

Well, I mean, I don't keep the wrecker of reps, the breaker of wrist cuff and one and only of his kind in the loop of all of my planned activities, so.

[A creepy slow roll, headlights off and put it in park]

"Knock, knock, a hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen is seeking permission from the home owner to safely cross the threshold of the garage door and I know you couldn't see me coming on the security system since I'm a hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen, so?"

[Clink, clank, clink, clank, clink, clank, scuffle, shuffle, clink, clank]

"OMG, permission granted, but only if the hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen keeps it shut!"

[Slowly and carefully steps over the garage door threshold while looking around for hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen killer lightning and fire]

"Hi, guys, hey there, hey, guys! Tee he, I heard a rumor, Jake, that you invented a new rec vehicle and who would have thought it, but, ta da, there it is, a 3 wheeled ATV!"

"(Way to shut it, Beanbag!) Ha, ha! Stuff happens sometimes when riding in the woods because..."

[Whoa, the hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen jumps way back because that other guy, Bruce Brewster, spark lit the welding cutting torch with its powerful fire!]

"LOL, are you really worried about fire, Beanbag, huh?"

"Well, of course I am, Jake! Anyways, are you guys hungry? I could call in a pizza for you guys or go pick it up myself from the Pizza Shop because as a hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen, I only need your threshold crossing permission once, Jake, so?"

"LOL, like Suzie will allow her precious boyfriend, Jimmy J, deliver a pizza here while there is a blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen waiting! And I mean "blood slut" in the best way, Beanbag, because I saw it on a meme that was trending on Chang the last couple of days, so?"

[Fire spitting, sparks flying, blue flames, yellow flames, red flames, rainbow flames and that Bruce guy is having way too much fun with the fire cutting tool thingy!]

Oh, I created that blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen meme on Chang, based on an anime meme that I saw a couple of summers ago and I have basically the same booty as the redhead in bathtub, so. Well, not exactly the same since I do not have female hip bones, but directionally, yep.

[The Pizza Shop front door chime jingle, oops, hold please]

"(Ring, ring, ring, ring)"

"Thank you for calling the Pizza Shop, this is Suzie, so, how can I pretend to help you, hmm?"

"Oh, I'm in the parking lot and I have a pickup order, but I need your permission to cross the threshold of your front door first, so?"

"OMFG, what are you, a vampire or something? Wait, OMFG again, is this that blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen with the ruined rep, which is actually a better rep than ever before, hmm? Because you're not allowed anywhere near my precious boyfriend, Jimmy J, especially since I'm this close to having him cut off from sex for the two years mark! On his part only, of course, but get out of here, permission denied, stab yourself with a wooden stake, just as long as it's my precious Jimmy J's wooden stake!"

"Oh, I mean, I'm side seat riding with Bruce Brewster and he just finished using his blow torch fire tool thingy like a boss and I suppose I could calm him down, so?"

"Wait, Bruce Brewster? The half Polo Shirt Preppy and half regular stud guy, that Bruce Brewster, hmm?"

"I mean, I'll calm him down, so?"

"You'll do no such thing, you sexy little blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen! What's your trade, hmm?"

"Oh, you host a goth party of seven at my place this Saturday, you wear low rise jeans that are so low rising that your booty crack exposure is totally challenged and while you're calming down Bruce Brewster in his huge SUV in the alley in like two minutes, old man Sal can handle the counter for a while and I'll ride back to the garage with the pizza and with Timmy, so?"

[Click went the phone line]

"What just happened here, Beanbag? And I'm having sex with Suzie right now, right? And are we best friends now?"

[The Pizza Shop back door opens and it's like two ships passing in the night, if two ships had fingers to swipe down a nose]

"[Finger down nose swipe] you're getting quite a rep lately, Beanbag. Is the seventh guest my choice for your rep changing goth boyfriend then at this party then, hmm?"

"[Finger down nose swipe] as long as it's Max, the changer of reps, the tightener of wrist cuffs and the fixer of a low air pressure right rear tire, Suzie, so?"

"[Finger down nose swipe] Hmm."

"[Finger down nose swipe] Hmm."

[CRASH! Bang, clang, bang, crash goes the Pizza Shop rear door in a flurry!]

"[Huff, puff, wheeze] aha, aha, aha, there you are! I checked the entire security system and only saw Suzie standing back here in the alley toe tapping a challenge by herself [huff, puff, wheeze] to the air. I have the pizza and I washed my neck and I'm ready to ride and bite and get bitten!"

[OMFG, Timmy tilts his head back and pulls his collar down and for the first time ever, the blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen with the ruined rep, which is actually a better rep than ever before, wished that death was an option]

"LOL, it sucks to be a blood sucking blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen with the ruined rep, which is actually a better rep than ever before, sometimes, doesn't it, Beanbag? Also, I mean, hey there, hey, Bruce Brewster with the big wide SUV, so?"

Well, that didn't take much!

[A secret, yet quick outgoing text from Suzie, tap, tap, tap, low air pressure]

[And since that didn't take much, thump, pump, ooh, thump, thump, pump, push it, Bruce B, ahh, thump, I'm converting to goth, slam, pump, slush, grind, thump, pump, slam, slam, slam, I'm your goth, Bruce B, ahh, ooh, that's it, Preppy slam me, Bruce B!]

Well, I had my own problems to deal with, OMG, like this guy, Timmy and his neck biting issues!

[Screech, circle spin, circle spin like in the movies, screech, slide it in because the tires were smoking!]

"(Beep, beep)"

"Well, SOB! Timmy, quick, go check the shops security camera system again, go!"

"(Waah, waah, waah) I always get left out of the blood sucking blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen with the ruined rep, which is actually a better rep than ever before, fun (waah, waah, waah)!"

[A car door opens and closes]

"Well then, I heard that you have a low tire air pressure situation in play then, Beanbag, right?"

"[Gulp] I mean, Max, I mean, hey there, Max, so?"

[Pulls away while Timmy is frantically checking the camera system for where his pizza delivery date disappeared to and finds nothing but an empty alley and a bouncing SUV]

"Snuggle up, Beanbag. And for short and for a cute other, other, nickname, can I call you the blood sucking blood slut hissy fanged wicked vampy vampire vixen with the ruined rep, which is actually a better rep than ever before, huh? It can be just between the two of us, so?"

"[Gulp] you can call me whatever you like, Max as long as you call me the next day after you bed me in a Texas slow roll spooning sideways style, so?"

Well, many couples give themselves shortened and cute nicknames, right?

[Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom towards a Texas slow roll spooning sideways sexual encounter, which was actually developed in Wyoming]

End Beanbag 04