Beautiful Gifts, Small Packages Ch. 05

"Shouldn't have talked to me?" I asked, not sure if I understood what he meant. Was he making fun of me still? I looked so pathetic to him that he regretted talking to me?

"Yeah."

"Okay?" I asked, still confused as my pride took a nosedive to the ground.

"You'll figure it out... maybe... listen, if he ends up trusting you all the way, be good to him... the way I could never be," Fred mumbled before turning away.

I stood there for a moment as I watched him leave. What the hell just happened? Was he.. could he be talking about Thomas? Did Fred think he and I were together? What did that have to do with not talking to me? I couldn't make sense of any of it but Scott had already trotted up next to me so I let it go.

"What was that all about?" He asked, looking just as confused as I felt.

"I honestly don't even know," I muttered, trying to put the strange moment out of my mind.

We walked back to the front door, only for it to open again and this time it was Thomas that was making his way out.

"Riley! You're here! I just got your text," he practically sang as he slung his arm around my shoulders. "Oh my god, I love Harry Potter! We have something in common Riley," he laughed joyfully.

I smiled at his happiness but took note of the slight slur in his words. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly, unsure if I should be concerned or not that he had been drinking.

"Never better! It's a party Riley, relax!" He assured with a cheesy grin. Then he turned to Scott, "You make a pretty good Ron Weasley, he praised, causing Scott to blush a little.

"T-thank you," he stuttered.

I gave a side glance to Scott, suddenly very curious to know if he had a small crush on Thomas or not.

Who wouldn't? I mentally sighed.

"Alright so the drinks are in the casket and there's a few games of beer pong going on if you want to get in line. Dancing is kind of everywhere and the girls have taken over every bathroom so if you really can't wait, pee in the bushes," Thomas informed us.

"A casket? Like, a real one?" I asked.

Thomas chuckled, "Of course not! It's just a theatre prop that one of the brothers "borrowed" for the night."

"I-is there candy?" Scott asked shyly. "Oh... maybe not since..." he blushed and didn't finish his sentence.

Thomas only laughed again, "Of course there's candy," he replied happily. "There's random pumpkin buckets everywhere, filled with the stuff. Heather always insists upon it. It's the only way I can get her to come out. Can you believe she'd rather be at home with her girlfriend?" He laughed again but this time there was a bit of a bitter edge to his words.

"I like your costume!" Scott suddenly chimed in before blushing and looking awkwardly at his feet.

"It really is great," I agreed, so he wouldn't feel so bad, besides, there was a lot to like about Thomas's costume.

His dark hair was uncovered and was wearing a red cape but beneath it he had no shirt. His abs were completely on display and I had to remind myself to not drool. Around his hips was a short greek skirt that looked homemade. His legs were nearly bare, save for a pair of ankle guards, followed by stereotypical sandals. He was gorgeous and I felt my cock growing beneath my robes.

"Thanks," Thomas grinned, I love 300."

"This is Sparta!" Scott cheered as he kicked into the air.

"Exactly!" Thomas laughed as he adjusted his red cape. "Ready to head in?"

We both nodded and I noticed how Scott looked much more relaxed than he had on the way over and I jealousy wished I could be so calm. My heart was racing in my chest as we entered the house. A small part of me thought maybe Fred had told other people what he'd seen and that someone would make fun of me. It wasn't even so much that I cared what everyone at the party thought about it but I didn't want Thomas to know. Some part of me still clung to the fact that this friendship has started because he liked me. I didn't want to loose any of that. I finally let myself breathe out a sigh of relief when nobody even noticed that we had entered.

"This is so cool!" Scott said excitedly as he took in the sight before us.

The whole house was lit with weak purple lighting and one of the rooms had a strobe light that reflected from the open door to the main rooms wall. The walls and stairs had large cobwebs over big portions of them, covered in spiders. Fake bats hung from the ceiling and in buckets of candy were everywhere. In the center of the main room was a large casket that was filled to the brim with fake eye balls, that I was informed was actually ice, soda, beer, water, whiskey and vodka. The expensive stuff too, not the gas station stuff that I usually tried to get a hold of. Around the casket fake bones and snakes were made to look like they were trying to craw out into the party. Monster Mash played loudly over large speakers causing several of my costumed peers to get up and dance.

"Alright.. this does seem okay," I reluctantly shouted to Thomas, hoping he could here me over the blasting music. He practically beamed at me and I felt my heart flutter in my chest. I loved seeing him look so happy.

"Do you want to go dance?" Scott half shouted in my ear, causing me to cringe at the volume.

I shook my head no and he shrugged and left to dance by himself. I watched for a moment, envying how he could just not care about anyone judging him while he danced wildly. He looked like he was having the time of his life. He even incorporated his wand into the dance movements and I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me at his silly antics.

"Hey, do you mind if we go talk for a minute?" Thomas suddenly whispered into my ear. I jumped a little, not realizing how close he'd gotten to me but nodded immediately.

He grabbed my hand to pull me through the crowd and I couldn't help but to squeeze his hand a little tighter than necessary, enjoying the feeling of our fingers intertwined. He pulled me in the direction of his room and I almost felt like I was experiencing a form of déjà-vu from a month earlier. I hoped whatever he had to say would be a lot less upsetting than before. Thomas opened his bedroom door and quickly pulled me inside.

The moment his door shut, Thomas pressed a hand against my chest, pushing me up against the wood as he leaned in close.

"Thomas, what-?" I started to ask but was immediately silenced when his soft lips brushed against mine.

This kiss started out chaste and tender but I gave into it completely, wrapping my arms around his neck so that I could pull him even closer to me. I didn't know what had possessed him to kiss me like this but I couldn't push him away. I wanted him so badly, all the time. I knew I should be better than this, smarter. This kiss could completely implode the delicate friendship I'd started to build with Thomas. As far as I knew, he wanted a boyfriend and I... I wanted to pretend for a moment that I was someone else, someone who could give that to him. I didn't want to think about how actually being with him would eventually lead to a huge breakup. There was, obviously, no way Thomas wouldn't be severely disappointed with my body. I knew I didn't deserve him, not really, but it didn't matter. I wanted to kiss him back, so I did.

Being kissed like this... feeling desired, felt incredible. My heart raced beneath my chest as his large hands cupped my cheeks, his thumbs gently caressing the sides of my face, and chills broke out across my skin. My cock strained beneath my robes and when he moaned into the kiss, my knees shook. He tasted sweet, like strawberries. I kissed him back fervently, pretending for just a moment that we could be something together. I opened my mouth to allow his tongue to enter and I nearly came in my pants when he bit my lip. I moaned against his lips and then used all my strength to turn us so that Thomas could be the one trapped between the door and my body. He let me easily and I used both my hands to push his arms up above his head. He didn't fight me even once and, though I was too short to hold his wrists, my positioning gave me a good feel of his muscular biceps. I squeezed them beneath my fingers as I rolled my body against his, careful to keep my cock from touching him. Then I stood on my toes and pressed tiny licks and kisses up the front of his chest and neck before claiming his lips once more, smiling when he moaned from my touch. Now, I'd only been kissed by one other person in my life, however, I still felt that Thomas was the best kisser ever and I didn't want this moment to ever stop.

I'm not sure how long we stood there kissing but after several heated minutes Thomas whispered, "I've wanted to kiss you for so long. I.. I know I should have waited. Nothing has changed, I still want a serious relationship but... fuck Riley... I want you so much. You have no idea."

I felt my cheeks turn pink, "You're drunk," I murmured, kissing his cheek softly, dismissing his words. He didn't know what he was saying... if he did, he wouldn't being kissing me.

He frowned at my response, "I know I am but I can still think straight and I know how I feel. I.. I just wanted you to know that if you ever change your mind... I would love to date you Riley."

"Thomas," I protested weakly, wanting him to stop. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to ruin the kiss or this moment together with reality.

"I know after that mess with Fred I told you to slow down," he continued. "I know I said I could just be friends but I... I didn't want to take the chance of you being ready one day and not knowing how I felt. Especially since I'm not the only one that likes you."

"Thomas don't," I pleaded, pressing my fingers to his lips. "Don't talk. Just kiss me again, please?" I begged.

The intimacy between us felt so good. I didn't want to ruin it. In a perfect world, I'd be able to say yes in a heartbeat. I'd be proud of my body and confident that I could make Thomas feel incredible. I would have said yes a long time ago if that was the case but it wasn't a perfect world. I wasn't enough. He'd get bored if I never had sex with him and just wanted to keep it to kissing. He'd spent his early years here figuring out his desires, for crying out loud. Compared to that, I was practically a virgin. If I did sleep with him, he'd be disgusted. I wasn't brave enough to risk seeing disgust in the eyes of someone I loved. So when he continued to speak, I tried to kiss him again, needing the moment to last as long as it possibly could.

"I can't," I whispered sadly when he pulled away. "If we date you'll hate me... please.. can't we just kiss? It feels so good to be kissed by someone. Especially someone that likes me," I admitted, feeling incredibly vulnerable.

"What, so my feelings just boost your ego?" Thomas accused, looking hurt.

I quickly shook my head, "I didn't mean it like that," I promised, trying to take his hands in mine, but he only pushed past me and went to sit on his bed.

"I think you should go," he muttered without even looking at me.

"You... you don't mean that," I pleaded as my heart broke a little. "You just had too much to drink. I... I shouldn't have let you kiss me, I'm sorry. We can forget it ever happened! Let's just go back to the party, okay?" I begged, hoping things could just go back to normal.

"Riley... go home. I want to be alone," he insisted, this time making sure to look me right in the eyes.

I bit my lip as hard as I could to keep from tearing up. "Okay," I managed but cringed when my voice cracked with emotion and took a shaky breath, "A-are we s-still f-friends?"

"Just go," he insisted, his gaze dropping to the floor.

This time I yanked the door open and ran. I was going to cry and I didn't want anyone in this stupid house to see me. I ran down the stairs and nearly collided with Scott of all people.

"Hey Riley! I was wondering where you- are you okay?" He asked, his arm suddenly around my shoulders.

"You can stay if you want... I need to leave," I whispered, trying my hardest to keep the tears at bay.

"We can go, it's fine," he promised as he led me out of the party.

The second the door to the house closed I felt the first of many tears escape my eyes. I tried to pretend it wasn't happening but I let Scott lead me the whole way home as the ground beneath me was too blurry from my tears for me to see where I was going.

*******

Thomas's Pov:

I sat in my bed, ignoring the party beneath my feet. I didn't care anymore. I couldn't just go out and have fun, not now. Things had been going to well. I was getting along with Scott, him and Riley seemed to enjoy what they saw and then I had to go and fuck everything up. I felt a tear drip down my cheek and viciously wiped it away. I didn't deserve to feel hurt. Not when I knew Riley was probably crying right now because of me. I'd gone after him, after about two minutes of self pity, but in the time he'd managed to leave.

Fuck I was such an asshole! I didn't know why I couldn't have just said we were still friends. All I had to say was "yes" but I hadn't. Better yet, why couldn't I have just kissed him again? Why did I have to fuck it up with spilling my feelings and getting hurt when the rejection I expected happened? I was such a dick! I was the one that started things. Yeah I'd been drinking but I wasn't out of it. I knew what I was doing when I started that kiss.

If I was being completely honest, I even expected that Riley would kiss me back because I knew how attracted he was to my body. I saw how often he watched me when he was at work and during our training sessions. I'd notice his hard, little cock when I'd come into the locker room, fresh from the gym shower. I guessed he never realized how I could see the imprint pressed against his own towel. He'd probably be mortified if I told him, which is why I hadn't. Well, that and I genuinely liked the view.

I wanted to tell him that it was okay. I knew he had a smaller than normal cock. I'd always known and I wouldn't let that be a problem. Only, I chickened out from saying any of that. I didn't know how he'd react to me knowing without having told me himself, so I stopped myself from truly pouring my heart out and then let his rejection hurt me. Fuck I was stupid. The worst part was, he had apologized for letting the kiss happen. He probably thought all of this was his fault when it wasn't. I knew that and yet I felt too hurt to even tell him that things would be okay. Some friend I was.

Riley's teary eyes filled my thoughts, making me feel more and more guilty until I finally reached over to text him.

Me: Hey... can we talk in the morning, when I'm more clearheaded?

He didn't respond right away so I got up and took a cold shower, letting the shock of freezing water sober me up a little.

When I went back to my phone I saw a text but my heart dropped when I read the message.

Riley: Hey it's Scott. Ry isn't doing all that well. Had panic attack. I think you should give him some space.

"Fuck," I murmured, feeling fresh tears sting my eyes. "I fucked everything up."

I quickly wiped my tears away and texted back, determined to come clean and lay all my cards on the table.

Me: I really think we should talk this out. I can explain myself. Please tell him to meet me at the coffee shop at 9 am tomorrow. Let him know we are still friends.

I groaned when I only received a thumbs up back but decided to accept that it was the only answer I'd be getting tonight.

I knew kissing Riley was rash and stupid and I almost regretted it but I couldn't, not completely. I regretted the timing, sure. I regretted using alcohol to make me brave enough to do it since that probably made him not take my feelings very seriously. I regretted how I immediately hurt him because I got insecure when I knew he'd probably say no to being my boyfriend. I regretted telling him to leave, for not answering his questions in person and for making him cry.

However, I could not regret the actual kiss. It was so good. Warm and soft yet strong and passionate, especially when he took control. He had taken me by surprise with that but I couldn't deny the deep pleasure I felt due to his actions. I loved being submissive and the fact that Riley was so much smaller than me made the prospect way hotter... fuck I wanted him so much! I swallowed down my longing as another round of tears rolled down my cheeks. I hoped I could fix everything. I didn't want to lose him and it was that thought that I fell asleep to.