Beautiful Pt. 05

"I told you, nothing is going on between Paige and Sandy." I could hear my voice rising a register, making me sound petulant and childlike.

"Sandy? Who the hell is Sandy?"

"Coach Dalton. Sandra Dalton."

"And how could you possibly know she isn't molesting your daughter? They have pictures, Melanie!"

"I've seen the pictures, Mother. There's nothing incriminating about them."

"You've seen them?! You knew about this? And how could you possibly be sure there isn't something going on?"

"I just know." My voice was small, my spirit shrinking under my mother's angry gaze.

"Know? You don't know anything, Melanie. For crying out loud! They could be doing God knows what and you wouldn't have the first clue!"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Then inform me. Enlighten me as to how you, sitting on your fat ass in this house all day, have any idea about who your daughter is fucking."

That startled me. Mom didn't swear often. She considered it uncouth and lowbrow. That made it all the more effective when she did. I managed to squeak out, "Because I know."

"You know. You know what?" I'd never seen her eyes so fierce. "Tell me now, young lady."

"Sandy isn't after Paige. She's, I mean, we're, um." I took a deep breath, all my insecurities roaring back. "She's, um, she and I are... together."

My mother looked at me with disgust and shame. "What?!"

She wasn't going to do this. She wasn't going to take away the one beautiful thing, other than my children, that I had in my life.

"Sandy and I are seeing each other. She loves me, not Paige." My voice cracked as I said it. Saying it out loud, it showed how little I believed it myself. When I was in her arms, looking into her eyes it was so obvious, so clear the way she felt. But now, in the presence of the woman who'd made me feel unworthy from childhood, I questioned everything.

My mother's expression told me everything, that I was the stupidest, most gullible person who had ever lived. "You honestly believe that? You think she has any interest in you?" Her voice sneered through the last word. "Do you have any idea what women like that are like? How they think? Did you even consider that she might be pretending to be interested in you to get access to Paige? God, Melanie, use your brain and go look in a mirror, preferably at the same time."

My mother went over to my dining table and sat down, putting her hand to her forehead. My eyes were burning with tears.

"You understand your brother's campaign is just getting going. This type of scandal could cost him everything. The only chance I see is playing the victim. John can rail against allowing groomers and perverts in our schools. So you, first of all, are never going to see that woman again, and you are going to call that principal and demand that she be fired immediately."

"I already told him nothing happened."

"Tell him you were wrong. That Paige told you everything."

"It'd be a lie!"

"I doubt that. Even if she hasn't done it yet she will, because you, my dear, won't ever be enough for her. And you know that. You weren't enough for your husband, Melanie, and you haven't had a sniff from any other man on earth in a decade. Now a former Olympian wants to grapple with your disgusting," she didn't finish the thought, just waving at my body. "I'm sure she could smell you from a mile away. So desperate for any human contact that you'd be receptive to literally anyone, giving her free access to your star-struck daughter. I've seen the way Paige talks about her." Mother wagged a finger at me. "And that's another thing, you need to have a talk with that girl. If she is that way inclined she better stop. If she embarrasses this family I will see she is cut off. There are no gays in our family, and that goes for both of you. You know Bill will take the boys for this."

"He would not!" My voice was scared and almost hysterical as tears streamed down my. "You can't lose your kids for that."

"No, but you can for bringing a pervert into your home. And that is what she is. That's all anyone will see, and if you defend her, people will look at you as the most gullible sap in North Carolina, and the worst mother ever." Mother shook her head and stood up. "Oh, stop blubbering, Melanie." She shouldered her purse. "I have to go meet with you brother, and we need to get his publicist involved, to get them ready for this. You make that call."

"No."

She'd already been heading for the door when I said it. I wasn't sure I'd been loud enough to be heard, but with the way Mother froze in her tracks I knew I had been. "Excuse me, young lady?"

"I said no. I'm not making that call. Sandy loves me. She wants me, not my daughter." I wish I could tell you that my voice was strong, unwavering, but it wasn't. I fought for every word, literally sick to my stomach with worry. What if I were wrong?

No, I wasn't going to think like that. Sandy did love me. And I tried to stand as tall as I could. I'd passed my mom in height at age fifteen, but she'd still always seemed, I don't know, 'larger than life' feels so clichéd, but it fits. So when she rounded on me my first instinct was to cower. But instead I imagined what Sandy would do. She wouldn't back down; she'd stand tall, confident.

"You will do as you're told, Melanie Sullivan. Your brother has everything riding on this election, and you won't screw this up for the family."

"So I'm supposed to do what? Sacrifice my happiness for a family that doesn't care about me!?"

"And whose fault is that? You could have been the wife of a partner in one the oldest and most important firms in Raleigh. Then I could have got you onto boards and councils that actually matter. You could have mattered! But no, you decided to embarrass your family and drive your husband into the arms of another woman. And then you sit here and wallow in your own filth, and you expect me to care about your happiness? Why?"

"Because you're my mother!" I almost screamed the last at her before dissolving into tears. My mother's only response was a disgusted groan as I sank down into a chair, sobbing.

"You end this relationship now, or when Bill comes for the boys you won't get any support from us. You won't be able to afford to fight him. And it would be best if Paige were seen with a young man, to head off any rumors about her."

I stared up at her through a haze of tears, my face an ugly visage of misery and anger. But as strong as my feelings were, they were impotent, and we both knew it. "Get out."

Mother didn't argue, just turning and heading out through the back door. I let myself cry at the dining room table for about ten minutes before I made myself stop. I grabbed the paper, which was still folded to the article about Sandy. I read it again, slowly this time. It noted that the reporter had reached out to Principal Harrison who 'was not immediately available for comment.' I was just wondering what, exactly, that meant when my phone buzzed with an unknown number. Normally I wouldn't answer, but today was, well, different.

"Hello?"

A perky female voice sounded on the other end. "Melanie Pierson?"

"This is."

"Hi, thanks for speaking with me. This is Holly Summerer from Channel Eleven Eyewitness News."

Holly's was the first call of the afternoon, but it wasn't the last. I did manage to get a call in to Patrick Harrison. He told me the News and Observer's 'attempts' to get a statement from him had consisted of a voice mail left at his office on Sunday morning. "I talked to them today, though, informing them that I conducted an investigation and determined that there was no inappropriate relationship, with no wrongdoing by anyone involved. I don't think that's what they wanted to hear."

It wasn't until after four that I was able to talk to Sandy, while she was driving to the school for practice. "I'm going to have to say something to the girls. Better to get ahead of it I think."

I let out a bitter laugh. "Might be too late for that."

"Yeah, maybe. You should come, though. It's better not to hide away. And something tells me there'll be more parents at practice than usual. It's up to you what you want to tell them."

"I want to tell them everything. But I haven't told you about my mom's visit." My voice cracked a little as I said it, recalling the horrible things she'd said to me.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry, I just got to the school, and I have to get inside. How 'bout I pick up some takeout after practice and we can talk. My treat."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too. My beautiful Melanie. See you soon."

I let myself have a little cry after we hung up, but I took some time to dress and put my face on before heading to practice. I picked up Charlie from his tech club and Will was sitting on a bench outside, scrolling through his phone.

"Debate go okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, mom. I'm just going to hang around out here, if that's okay."

"Sure, it won't be too long." Charlie joined his brother in the fall sunshine as I headed inside.

It was almost comical, watching the murmuring and muttering come to a sudden, nervous halt as I approached the other parents present. Sandy had been dead on, as there were at least twice as many of them as usual. Even though the article hadn't given her name, it had identified her as being over eighteen, which meant there weren't more than three girls on the team it could have been, and with Paige being the team captain, if her name hadn't come up I'd, well, of course it had come up.

"Melanie." Every set of eyes on the bleachers were on me as Renee Perry said my name.

"Gee, whatever could all y'all have been talking about?" My voice was thick with sarcasm, and I stared down Renee Perry as I continued closer.

"Terrible business, isn't it?" Renee's eyes were a warning, one I was sick of heeding.

"I doubt you think so, seeing as you're the one who started all this."

"Me? I'm not the one who was fooling around with one of her players."

"Neither was Sandy." I looked up at the other parents. "Have any of you seen these pictures? I mean, they weren't published with the article."

"And you have?" Mary Ann Ellis, Kaylin's mother, answered.

"Of course. They have to do with Paige, after all." No point in beating around the bush, especially since Renee knew exactly who the girl in the pictures happened to be. My admission caused a general murmur to run through the assembly. "I'm sure Renee had already told you that, or maybe just insinuated it. She's the one who took those pictures after all, or paid for them, anyway."

"I just wanted to be sure that she didn't have anything to hide. Most people do, after all." Her voice was thick with innuendo.

I closed my eyes. I can't believe I'd been so stupid. If the Perry's had had a PI following Sandy, of course she knew about the two of us. We hadn't really tried to be very clandestine, after all. Of course, that meant she knew from the start that Paige and Coach Dalton weren't sleeping together. It just was a more inflammatory story, so it was the one she'd gone with.

Renee turned back to the parents. "I'll admit that the pictures don't prove Coach Dalton has consummated an inappropriate with Paige yet, although I'm sure she was trying, women like that, after all." Mary Ann nodded her agreement. I couldn't read what the others thought.

"What exactly do you mean, women like that?" Mrs. Trainer, our goalkeeper, Brianna's mother, spoke up.

"Well, one thing I do have proof of is that Coach Dalton is a lesbian. And those pictures do show that she's a groomer. People like that always are. You may not care, but I do. I mean, why else would a doctor want to coach underage girls?"

Mrs. Ellis nodded. "Absolutely. You can't be too careful. God only knows what she's been teaching our girls."

"What she's been teaching is field hockey, and she does it because she loves the sport. And someone being gay does not make them a pedophile. Coach Collins was a straight guy, you were never worried about him."

Mary Ann looked aghast. "Coach Collins was a good, Christian man."

I laughed. "Please. You have any idea how many 'good Christian men' have abused children throughout history?"

Mary shifted uncomfortably, and I looked back over to the girls. They were sitting around the coach's feet as she talked to them. I couldn't see Paige's face, but Adrienne kept glancing nervously over at her mother.

Coach Dalton raised her voice so we could hear her. "Alright, now, we've got a game to win Friday, and I want everyone focused for the rest of the week, Got it?"

"Yes, Coach."

"Good, now hit the showers." The team jumped as one and headed toward the locker room. Sandy watched them go for a moment before turning towards the parents and heading our way.

She gave me a little glance as she approached, and I smiled demurely back. I watched her face harden into the professional mask I'd seen so many times. It wasn't her real face. That was far softer, with an undying light in her eyes. She didn't show it to many people, but she did to me, and I loved her for it.

"So, I imagine you all have questions. I'll start, though, by saying that I am not now in, nor have I ever had, an inappropriate relationship with a player. I have discussed the matter with Principal Harrison, and the player in question has as well."

"They know it's Paige." I crossed my arms under my breasts. "Renee made sure of that."

"Are you a lesbian?" The note of challenge in Mary Ann Ellis's voice was unmistakable.

"Yes, I am."

"And what have you told our daughter's about that?"

"Very little. It's not something that has any relevance to hockey. A person's sexual orientation doesn't change proper stick handling techniques, or offensive positioning, or any other thing I'm aware of." She looked over the assembly. "There are a couple of girls on the team who know, for varying reasons, mostly because they asked. I did ask them all not to broadcast it."

"Because you know it's wrong." Mary Ann's voice was angry, and Sandy met her fierce gaze levelly.

"No, because it isn't relevant, and I didn't want to make an issue of it. Ask your children, see what they say. What I am trying to focus on is the fact that Lost Valley will play their first playoff game of the season on Friday, and I don't know about you, but I'd like to win it."

I looked around at the faces of my fellow parents. They ranged from concerned to confused to supportive. Mary Ann was looking at her like she was an invader, a monster to be slain for the good of all. The righteous hate in her eyes made me shiver. Paige had told me about it, of course, but seeing close up what Kaylin was fighting against made me sick inside.

Coach Dalton broke away and headed to her office, the murmuring starting again as soon as she was out of earshot.

"I don't trust her."

I rounded on Renee Perry, who'd spoken. "You don't, huh?"

"Of course not." Mrs. Ellis piped in. "It's going to get out now, everyone on the team will know. And I don't want people normalizing that sort of thing around my daughter. She's still an impressionable girl. They all are. You start telling them that sort of thing is okay, who knows what could happen?"

One of the other parents spoke. "Do you honestly think any of those kids don't know that gay people exist?"

"There's a difference between knowing they exist and seeing them up close, letting them tell you that an abomination is normal."

"Hey! I've got a cousin who's gay, and he isn't an abomination!"

That was spoken by a parent of one of the Sophomores, Lena, I think. The debate kept going, and I backed away, not wanting anything to do with it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to escape without a look from Renee Perry telling me that this was not over. My phone chimed as I leaned against the wall outside the locker room.

Sandy - This has been a long day. I'm in the mood for something fattening.

Me - Sure. How about fried chicken?

Sandy - That sounds perfect. See you at your place?

I sent back a thumbs up, to which Sandy responded with a few emojis of her own, which made me blush.

"Hey, Mom. Ready."

"Yeah, sweetie, you want to drive home?"

She nodded, and that was the plan as we made our way out to my beater of a van. However, just before she climbed in, her phone rang. I gave her a quizzical look over the hood, and she just shrugged and answered. "Hello? Yeah, um yeah, hi, hello."

Her eyes went wide, and she mouthed "It's Virginia!" to me. I laughed and came around to the driver's side, pulling out my keys and shooing her around as she spoke.

I did my best to follow along with the conversation as I drove home. It didn't last long, but I was fairly confident that Paige had been invited for an official visit, an assumption that was quickly confirmed when my daughter disconnected the call.

"They want me to come up this weekend! They're playing Wake Forest, and they'd have someone show me around, and I could even sit in on the pregame stuff! Can I go? Please"

I smiled at her. "Sweetie, it's your dad's weekend, you'll have to ask him."

"Can I call him?"

I laughed. "Of course."

I could almost feel the excitement radiating off my daughter as she pressed the screen. "Hello?"

"Daddy? I just got invited to Virginia for an official visit!" She pressed a button, connecting her phone to my van's speakers.

Bill's voice sounded through the cabin. "That's terrific, sweetheart! We can definitely do that, as long as it's okay with your mom, of course."

"It's fine with me, Bill."

"Good. What are the boys' schedules this weekend? Do you know?"

We talked logistics for a minute before I turned the conversation back over to Paige, who regaled her father with everything the coach had said as I drove us home. I stayed out of the whole thing, trusting Bill to make the arrangements.

By the time we made it home Paige was on the phone (well, face-timing) with Kaylin and Sherri. Apparently Kaylin had already had a visit to Wake Forest, and she was regaling everyone with how much fun it would be.

***

"Virginia really is a wonderful school."

"I know." I leaned back against Sandy while the latest Netflix sensation played on the T.V. The kids had all retired upstairs, and I was just enjoying being with my girlfriend before she went home. We'd decided that another night here would be too much for now, but I have to admit I was having second thoughts. I was just happier when she was here, or I was there. Basically when I was with her. "I'm not worried about Paige. At least, not more than usual."

I could feel Sandy's energy change. "What is it?"

I looked up into Sandy's eyes, which were far away. I watched her give herself a little shake and force out a smile. "It's nothing."

"Sandy?" I put a little touch of remonstrance into my voice, looking over my shoulder.

Sandy just smiled down at me. "Don't worry, it's not a bad thing, just a secret. It's just not mine to share. If it were something dangerous, or if I were worried, I'd tell you, I promise."

"Okay." I closed my eyes and leaned back against her, trying to put it out of my mind. "I trust you."

"Thank you."

She held me in silence until the episode finished. I didn't budge, not wanting to move and make the moment end. Finally I felt Sandy's lips pressed into my hair. "I need to go sweetheart."

"I know. Don't want you too."

"I don't either, but we talked about this."

I made a decision at that moment. "After the season, maybe we can move forward?"

"Are you sure? It's so fast for you, baby."

"I don't care. I'm forty-three. I don't want to be alone any more. And it's not like I'm worried you'd be bad to my kids."

"And the rest of your family?"

"I don't give a damn." I prayed inside that it was true. "And if having a bisexual sister costs my brother an election, well, I think the country will survive."