All Comments on 'Beautiful Pt. 06'

Where to start? This was an amazing story, that the team stood up for their coach filled my heart with joy. That Adreinne stood up and blasted Renee at the meeting was oh so perfect. Kaylin's attempted suicide was heartbreaking, that her Uncle and Aunt stood up to support her was awesome. My initial feeling that Paige was possibly into girls was right, just not another girl on the team. Melanie's Dad came through in his support of her and Sandy was awesome. That her brother did not lose the election, and no real negative action against Senator and Renee Perry was disappointing. Sandy's family welcoming Melanie was great. You had so many different levels going on with this story, possibly the greatest number of subplots I have seen in any of your stories. That you resolved most of them was great. Thank you JCMcNeily for another wonderful story. The way

(Continued from first post.) The way you handled the suicide attempt and Sandy sharing the info as to why she told Kaylin to not come out was very well done. Too many people never deal with suicide and have no idea of the things that can tip a person over the edge. I am retired from a job where we had training every year on suicide and it is a much more serious subject that people do not openly talk about. Again thank you for sharing this story. 5 *s but it deserves so many more

A fantastic conclusion in every way. I am a complete sap for romance, and for political discussions. Sandy's statement to the press as she left the council room was beautiful, as was her mutual love for Melanie. It's tragic that we live in a world where the dark parts of this story are realistic, but the brightests parts of it happen as well, and we should never forget that. I will wait with baited breath to see what you have to write next, but I have no doubts it will be an expertly written tale with fantastic characters. 5 stars.

Wow this story was amazing. The whole thing with the board meeting and the players stepping up and going to bat for their coach, and being brave enough to let some of their own truths be known, was super emotional. Only thing I'm upset about is that she didn't kick her bitch mom and prick brother to the curb.

Another one of your amazing stories. Would love to give more than 5 stars. Can’t wait for your next stories. All the best.

Like sands through the hourglass these are the days of Melanie and Sandra. Yes it is finally over. The rollercoaster ride of Melanie and Sandy is complete. A little quiet as wipe away a tear, for one of the most anticipated stories to make it to Literotica. I know how you do it. You write from the heart, your characters are believable, and when all is said and done you KNOW them. This story was one the fastest pace stories I have read in a long time. I just get started and I am turning the page. I love the wedding, Melanie took her name, and both had pre-ceremony jitters. I wonder if Coach Dalton was invited to coach the next year. Probably not. Which is their loss. This was an excellent tale about love, fear, personal strength, growing as an individual and above all being comfortable in your own body.

Thank you for the story and the time it took you to write it. Take Care.

This has been a gut wrenching story to read, for me and others. While irl not everything would have turned out so well, my nerve endings greatly appreciate the mostly positive, or downright happy, outcomes. Especially Kaylin, I was pretty sure she’d attempt suicide. I’m grateful she survived, and that she’s with supportive family now. Tremendous, and important, story and I hope many people find and read it. And now I think I’ll reread Nanny Sarah for the umpteenth time for something that won’t have me hissing and spitting so much. :). Greatly looking forward to your next work!

JC you’ve done it again. You dealt with an emotional topic very well. This had me feeling all emotions. I literally woke up at 5am to read this. It was worth the wait. Thank you for sharing with us.

A very emotional read. I can't help noticing that the most vitriolic hatred was put into the mouths of other women; the men in the story were often supportive, or at least silent.

I liked that you gave the hockey team their moment without giving them a fairy tale run to the championship.

Five stars as always. And glad to know there are more stories in the pipeline.

Excellent!

Five stars and for the series as well. As I said before you are ever optimistic and hopeful. I can't wait to see how you reform Macie, but I'm sure it will be with love for the character. Even if that were to end with her as a ally and not bi or lesbian, it would mark a huge change for the character! This was great; perhaps after you've left it sit for a while there's a possibility of another college story with Paige? Either way, thanks for all the work you and your team put into this series!

Once again, believable, 3-dimensional characters — younger, older, the good, the bad and the … embedded within a captivating storyline. You did not need to tell us how much you enjoyed writing “Beautiful”, your love evident in every element from start to finish. And the social commentary, so core to this story, meshed so well. Thank you. As a near hopeless romantic, loved it as much as I enjoyed your other pieces — refuse to rank.

Another beautiful, beautifully written love story from one of the very best authors on this site.

The quality of the plot and the character development is outstanding and I found myself rooting for the heroes and booing the villains.

I would happily pay for this high level of storytelling, the fact that the author makes it available for free is just remarkable.

Tears of joy, concern, care flowed for pages. As wonderful as the story of Melanie and Sandra is, the story of the team is what inspires and gives hope. Teenagers can be so passionate, often recklessly so, but it is their bravery that gives hope to the world. Even then the passage that gave the reality check to the story was "I also wish I could tell you that he lost his election, but the world isn't perfect."

Thank you for all of your labor. You offer a vision of a better world with better people.

The erotic parts were great. The story you told was also great. As usual with your stories I have found characters that I don't want to let go of. I will be reading this story again. Thanks for sharing ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

i have a sweet spot for happy endings but the story has to be good it was be happy well and safe a fan shayne

😊😊😊

Outstanding conclusion, with plenty of sadness and heaps more tears mainly of happiness. Great to see Will making the right decision

So many tears caused early in this chapter...

But as always, you shot it right in the back of the net, beautiful story, thank you!

Brilliantly written and a fantastic series..

Wonder if a sequel will be written about Paige.

I like to wait until the end to comment and I'd like to say that you've done it again. I great story with relatable characters. I'm not afraid to say I got misty eyed while reading this.

Another great series from you, not we expected anything less. Can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

Dr beulahthemick; Amazingly brilliant, moving and so pertinent to what is happening in both the UK and the USA to minority communities of all sorts, not just LGBTQ+, but immigrants and refugees. What a story, I'm only disappointed that the mother got off easily, the brother won his election and I wonder if Sandra had a job as coach next year. Thank God that Kaylin survived, I'm a school teacher and Head of Sixth Form and sadly last year one of our pupils killed herself by throwing herself off a flyover onto the road below after her parents tried to put her into a `conversion therapy' course after finding out she was gay. Our staff, pupil's and many others had no idea, (I certainly didn't, I only wish I did and could have helped her), but your story shows just what damage our `sky fairy' followers inflict on others, but think and feel its their right to do so. I hope that you consider a follow-up to this, perhaps concentrating on the team members. Five stars naturally, feel we should be able to give far more.

This might be your greatest work yet, beautiful… simply beautiful. Well done and thank you!

Great ending to the story.

A+, Story and all. Excellent message. Wish we could live in a world where bigotry always go lt its comeuppance.

Another absolutely brilliant story. You put so much heart and social consciousness into your work. Thank you again for sharing your skillful storytelling with us.

This is a fantastic story, thank you so much for sharing it.

What a ride this story was. This is probably your best character work ever and the story arcs are so relevant in this current day and age. Really interested to see the next two series when they’re written, the descriptions are giving me BrokenSpokes vibes and I’m excited for them. Well done!

... tears in my eyes... thank you JC... I can only hope that real life will take an example from your story! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ are not enough 🤗 LisaR.

After reading all the other comments all I can say is I agree and that it was just simply amazing! 5 stars is not enough!!

When you get lost in the story and find yourself on the last page far too soon, you know you are in the hands of a master storyteller. Thanks once again for a great tale that was beautifully written.

This is fantastic. Thank you for your words

Well written and a happy ending.

I cri.

Fantastic job, thanks for the happy end. Reading a sequel with Paige in college could be cool.

I think that the key to this story is the title. Melanie is beautiful. At first no one can see it, except Sandy -- least of all Melanie herself. By the end Melanie is beautiful not only in Sandy's eyes but also in her own eyes, in the eyes of her children, in the eyes of her father, and in the eyes of Sandy's whole family. The only ones who can't see Melanie's beauty are her mother and brother, Mrs. Ellis, and Senator and Mrs. Perry.

I was disappointed that we never saw the comeuppance that the Perrys and the Ellises so richly had coming to them. But then I thought how unlike you it would have been to take a victory lap.

A wonderful, 5-star story worthy of your talent and the rest of your works.

We will be grateful for whatever you choose to grace us with the future.

WOW AWESOME story . congratulations another great sory . truely loved it. keep up the gou wrireat work looking forward to reading more stoies you write

SO GOOD! Such a wonderful and topical story, on so many levels.

Melanie: finally learning that Rubenesque women can be objects of love

Religious intolerance: Kaylin's parents and Melanie's (former) church and its members

Politics: Melanie's mother and siblings

Evil privilege: the Powers

And finally:

Hope for the future: Paige and the team!

I think you should shop the movie rights for this epic story.

Terrific story - as usual coming from your pen...

I second the requests for a follow-up story of Paige's adventures in college and afterwards.

6.9 Stars; 7 would've seen the Perry's (not Adrienne) on the recieving end of some major karma but everything else worked out well. You didn't indicate if Sandy returned to coach the next season, minor detail...

Thank you for an incredible ride. Loved the characters and the story arc. Can’t wait for your next story.

Keep it up

Sexy, sweet, complex, powerful, moving, funny… there aren’t enough words. Amazing writing. The little moments of growing confidence Melanie had were so hot. I’m a sucker for pillow talk (in this case hot tub talk, post-orgasm) but when Melanie asked Sandy to move in right away and Sandy asked to marry her was such a deep snapshot of their love, just the penultimate cherry on top. The last cherry on top would be the image of a pregnant-Melanie being overly spoiled by her adoring wife, of course. (Or holding their child if they go another route, but in my head I see Sandy being the doting partner Melanie didn’t have in her first marriage) Overwhelmingly gorgeous conclusion. *throws roses violently at you in appreciation*

Whew. When I finished Chapter 5, I was in despair at how polarized the "adults" were due partly to mostly intentional disinformation, but also to the outright bigotry of different types. I sat with that and realized that it would need to be the "kids" who brought the light which turned out to be true when they showed up and spoke out at the school board meeting. And there were enough parents who were tolerant enough to allow for a happy ending. I was SOOO glad that Kaylin was allowed to have a caring aunt and uncle to literally save her from her parents' intolerance. This will go down as one of my all time favorites, partly because of the delightful characters, but also because of the intense struggles and challenges that were faced and overcome. Somewhere I read a comment that said said "sex" should be at the center of these types of stories. That may be true if the stories are about just lust and desire, but I would counter that the best stories have LOVE at the center and the sex becomes the rich visceral, emotional, and spiritual medium through which desire and passion blooms into something special, unique, and transcendent. You certainly captured that with this series. Thank you. Thank you.

Malanie is my favorite character ou yours. She is simply amazing.

Thank you. Another well thought out story. It had lots of downs and ups and was a really good read. Fits well into your cannon of stories

Ohh. Sequels to Paige college life would be worth a read.

Lots of wonderful comments, I'll add that it's obvious you take great pains to develop realistic characters, creating a story to merge with great sex scenes. That takes time and effort. Not easy to do. Regarding future stories do what works best for you. You have two in your queue. looking forward to reading them down the line

I never give a five rating to stories on lit. but I gave five stars on this one, I loved it! The characters leaped off the page and came to life for me. The story was well-written and believable. Please keep up the good work!

Thank you, Grace Lawton

Another fantastic story from one of my favourite authors. I've been lucky in that I haven't had to put up with this kind of thing but I know others that have.

Like others I think this deserves a follow up in the same way as Broken Spokes or sandy_paris have followed up. Paige, certainly and, would I be perverse in hoping that Adrienne joins our team and gives the odious Mrs Perry palpitations?

Thank you JC. Love and Huggs

Simply, well played! 5+fave... again.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I knew we could trust you to craft another compelling tale. Thank you!

Another outstanding tale! Each story published is better than the previous, yet subtly different. So many write with a formula or predictable patterns, the story is lost. You are amazing, and I await your future offerings. Thanks again for writing such a riveting tale!

I loved it, I really did. But it kinda felt rushed at the end. Like I have so many questions. About the Perrys and the other parents and Melanie's parents and Bill and Ashley, and even Adrienne and Paige and Brandy and basically everyone...

I loved this sad/happy story ❤. Such meaness in the world countered with such love.

But what happens with Paige at college or brandy or does she encounter her life love, I'm sure she rocks the hockey..I would love to read some spin off of this. But it was wonderful all the same great writing great characters real love.

Thank you.x

I wish I could pay you for allowing me to read such an amazing and beautiful story. Thank you so much for giving away your talent for all of use to enjoy. Take care and be well!

Thank you.

Another fantastic tale. The only letdown was how Melanie's Mom and Brother turned out to be Karma Houdinis. Like, they never faced ANY consequences/comeuppance for their actions. But then again, that's how this world works most of the time unfortunately.

For the first time ever do I agree with all previously made comments ( 38 at this mo" ). That none of them are negative or complaining must be a milestone here. The school teacher's comment is telling how close to reality the essence of this story is. One day victims of conversion therapy will be able to sue both the people sending them there and the people performing the conversion therapy for undergoing severe mental abuse. Thank you for writing this story.

Superlative story telling. Thank you for your talent, it brightens the day on which you post the chapter.

So in my fantasy, when Sandy was asked to come forward to speak she was accompanied by a confident shaggy mop haired professionally dressed lawyer looking Megs from Lampedo Woman's legal services from Washington, DC, with a “bunch” of legal precedents citing decisions referencing sexual discrimination, bias, libel, etc. in hand but were un-needed because of Sandy’s strong and confident, logical and correct stance.

I would so enjoy a joint romantic story shared by two of my favorite authors, Brokenspokes and JCMcNeilly.

Oh, and this series is great (without my ‘help’) and deserving of the five stars (and often).

LB

A wonderful story throughout, with the strongest characters the most vulnerable, which must be difficult to write, and the showdown at the school meeting was wonderfully and triumphantly eloquent and moving.

Danke!

Beautiful, you couldn't have given this story a better title, so descriptive of the entire tale, absolutely beautiful!

An amazing Love story!

Thank you so much for sharing your incredible talent.

You write so wonderfully.

I am sad that I have read all your stories but i guess I will just have to read them all again. I am so looking forward to your next submissions.

Thank you so much!

First, thank you for a wonderful roller coaster tale and this happy ending …. Tears have been shed by me and yeah the bigots the church is always part of that, in case of the colored partnerships ….. the church itself is having a really dark past with burning witches or inquisition and much more of those perverted actings, still in our days they spitting fire but raping in homosexual acts is standard for them ….. horrible ….. and so good christians are having a hard time to decide, following the lords path or the lords underlings perverted thoughts …… its just hope that homo sapiens becoming homo sapiens

Thak you for this wonderful story

Ten hearts for you 💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝💝✨💋🍀

"So in my fantasy, when Sandy was asked to come forward to speak she was accompanied by a confident shaggy mop haired professionally dressed lawyer looking Megs from Lampedo Woman's legal services from Washington, DC, with a “bunch” of legal precedents citing decisions referencing sexual discrimination, bias, libel, etc. in hand but were un-needed because of Sandy’s strong and confident, logical and correct stance.

I would so enjoy a joint romantic story shared by two of my favorite authors, Brokenspokes and JCMcNeilly.

Oh, and this series is great (without my ‘help’) and deserving of the five stars (and often).

LB"

@anonymous obv it's up to the authors on when they share their characters but GinnyPPC has a story that features a couple of familiar characters :)

Although deprived of my sleep - dawn is already settling in - I don't feel tired at all. Energised by this wonderful narrative, I must try to get some sleep, but not before appreciating the author and saying a heartfelt thank you. Well done!

Beautiful as always… I look forward to your stories🌻

Thank you for this beautiful story. I loved every single line and had to shed a lot of tears. I'm looking foreward to your next work, can't wait actually!

In the meantime I probably have to read some of your "old" work again (A girl named Mitch?). Will see.

Keep writing like that and you will make us all happy.

Greetings from Switzerland.

Anyone else thinking/hoping for an Adrienne and Paige story…just putting it out in the universe.

Brilliant story, the sentiment much overdue on this site. Thanks to JCMcNeilly for the hard work in putting together a tale of this quality and magnitude.

JCMcNeilly as always your story has wholeheartedly captured my rapt attention since you started releasing the individual chapters. I had made it to chapter 3 (and I knew you'd said that you were releasing 6 chapters), so decided with my current work schedule, and my wanting to read this absolute masterpiece, that I was going to read the final 3 chapters in a 'oner', when I had some time off to do that.

I am absolutely not disappointed in the slightest, you've got such a talent for writing, and your characters always seem so close to real life; which I'm sure helps so many of us be able to relate to them even more.

There's been times when I've been reading through the story that I've been so mad for the way Melanie was treat so appallingly, by (mainly) her family, it was heartbreaking. And then again with Sandy being vilified, as well as other members of the hockey team (with regards to their LBGTQ+ status). I think the way you wrote each chapter and dealt with the bigotry was spot on; I especially loved when Melanie stood up to her Mother and said she couldn't wait to vote against her Brother, that bit of dialogue was brilliant!

I teared up more than once reading it the final chapter as well, especially when Kaitlyn spoke with her team (you dealt with that beautifully). I agree with one of the anonymous comments and would also live for an Adrienne and Paige story.... Who knows that could be fate.

I seriously can not wait until you release more of your work. I hope this story gets an award on here, as you truly deserve it for this ☺️

I wish I could vote more than 5 stars! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Please please pleaseeee post a new story 🥺 i read all of them and now i just existing…

@anonymous this story has been up a few weeks..she is working on 2 more, but most likely they will not be ready this year. To write at the high level she does takes time. Have you read her other stories? They are all excellent. Other authors you may want to check out are: BrokenSpokes, GinnyPPC, onehitwanda, and sandy_paris. They all are great as well. Also the similar stories to the right of the comments is a good way to find more stories.

.

The absolute worst thing about your stories is that they end, and we have to leave the characters’ world.

Thank you once again for a great read:)

Do you mind if I make a Lost Valley Panthers Field Hockey T-shirt / sweatshirt?

Your stories are always so sweet. I like the body positivity in this one. Big fan of the strap-on sex as well.

Thank you for a most wonderful story with many dizzying heights, several very dark lows with much entertainment and joy in-between.

Your stories always reinforce the good that should be in any society; the value of kindness and respect over malicious or envious spite, the joy of openness and truth over a ‘proper’ façade, the importance of love and forgiveness over narrowing dogma.

And, of course, to always give young people (or older) both support and freedom to begin their journey of self-discovery at their own pace, and not forcing them to start out by having to hide at the very beginning of that journey simply because what they happen to find would risk upsetting arbitrary or narrow-minded rules.

I always feel that your stories are what a broad-minded Hallmark movie would be; heart-warming, caring, with a certain amount of drama, gentle lovemaking and always delightfully sexy.

You truly are one of the absolute best writers on this site. I look forward to reading your next endeavour.

May your muse cherish you with the love and kindness you deserve, bring you happiness and keep your pen ever-flowing.

P.S.

Fantastic story, lovable characters and stellar writing, as always. Coming from a reasonably HBTQI-friendly part of the world, the bigotry on display in these stories is utterly disgusting to me. To see your characters overcoming it, time and again, is heartwarming.

Yet another oustanding tale from an amazing author.

Sadly, many of the subjects broached will make many people uncomfortable, but what is even sadder is that some of those same subjects are all too real, even in the so called "enlightened" 21st century.

As an "old" parent of 4 daughters ranging in age from mid 40`s to 18, I could not imagine treating any of them the way some parents treat their offspring, and yes, one of my kids is openly bi.

She knows I don`t care who she loves, just as long as they treat her right and loves her.

We DO argue about anything and everything, but not that one subject.

I`m not a "perfect" parent, as they simply do not exist, but I will always love my girls unconditionally.

Thank you for another wonderful story.

Beautiful isn't tge right word. The story is terrific, and I'm a very straight guy. You have a wonderful knack for love stories that have erotica, rather than the reverse. Take out the erotica, you could write for Hallmark, only not as saccharine.

What a fantastic story!

Such a well written story... Loved it from first page and right to the end..

Tears may have been shredden in between too.

You are outstanding...Better than good :-)

Cheers

Belinda

JC! You’re stories are just great and I think they are important too… well… I read these stories because I love erotic stories. I was never into porn. I just wasn’t excited as most of my peer men are. Your stories, however, really turn me on. It leaves me space to picture these wonderful women as I my brain is constructed. I think that one of your genius qualities is much about turning ordinary people on the outside into extraordinary people on the inside. We all have dreams, passions, longings… But some of your characters are obviously rather ordinary, dull even. On the outside. But fire within… Passion, want, longing, desires…. I think the brilliante if your authorship is about that, turning ordinary life into magic. I want to thank you. I said this in another comment; please! Never stop writing!

I rarely leave comments but the only thing I hate about this story is that it has ended. It's definitely my newest favorite series.

Can't wait for your next posting!

This is one of the best stories I’ve read so far. So descriptive. I felt like I was following them along in their journey the whole time. Only thing I didn’t like, was that it has ended. Thank you x

Reading a story like this can be such a powerful struggle because a tale so well written causes you to feel the jubilation and misery. I loved this just as I have loved your other works. I am grateful for any contribution of your wonderful mind and heart you gift us.

Phenomenal. It had me hooked from the start. For me this was all about acceptance and how Melanie literally battled her way through the torrents of being a social pariah, being made fun of and most of loneliness to find love and for local society to accept her and Sandra for who they are.

On a different note, l noticed in this story and in another one how the chatacters love of vindaloo, tika masala and roghan josh. Being that I'm from the UK, have you ever tried Balti? For me the best of all curries!!

You have written some stunning stories in the past and I really didn't think I'd read one as good as those and then you create this masterpiece. It's simply the best of all time. Absolutely brilliant in its vision and message. The speech by Kaylin completely broke me I was in floods of years. I can't say anything else except that this epic should be used as the yardstick for all other stories by everyone to be measured against its the best I've read. Thank you for creating and sharing this. BardnotBard

Well you're my new favorite author on the site. Can't wait for your next story.

I have been reading literotica stories for a long time. (2 decades?)

And this is the first to make me cry.

The contrast between the beauty and the ugliness was amazing.

FANTASTIC!!!!

Absolutely loved it! You are one of my favorite authors on this or any site!!! Thanks for continuing to share your storytelling gifts!

They should make this into a movie! There are so many sides to this story but it all flows so well. Maybe there is someone out there that would accept this story. Great story, thank you very much.

I just stayed up until 3 am reading every chapter of this story. Now my pillows got my tears all over it.

I definitely have a problem when reading one of your stories (especially when reading it for the first time): I end up sleeping 2 hours instead of 7 or 8 and looking like a zombie next day at work.

Anyway, thank you so much for another lovely story.

I really liked the epilogue

JcMN you’ve outdone yourself yet again. Another beautiful story with such a great ending. Your work is truly a gift to this world (and my life). Now I can sleep peaceful knowing that Sandra and Melanie are happy and safe. Thank you for this and I hope for more. You rock!!!!!

Excellent story. Kaylin's pep talk made me really cry.

Another extraordinary story. Very well done!

A captivating story from start to finish